The Aftermath .......... Did They Have A Clue !!!!!

[Sheila]

For those who were Discovered/Told after being in a relationship for sometime, did your partner/family/friends have a sense that something was "not quite as it seemed" in other words once the initial talk had taken place, did it transpire that they had gathered little clues/feelings tog but just not been able to make sense of them and now they know, those all made sense ?

[Emily L]

Not a clue at all. Which surprised me - I never knew I was that good at hiding things. But apparently we got through 3 years of being together and 9 years of knowing each other with her none the wiser.

[flic]

I guess my short answer to this is yes. Forgetting my SO because i told her at the top of the relationship so she didn't necessarily know me well enough to piece it all together. But for all my friends that i've told over the last few years they pretty much all said that they finally got me, and had wondered what it was about me that was different/odd/hidden. I guess though this made me kind of glad, it seems to me that it meant that i hadn't been hiding as much as i thought, and had at least been myself for as much as i felt able, i'd just left out the tg details, but not necessarily the behaviour. This gave me great validation. So not all that much changed with all the confessionals, which was ace, and i was free to just move on with my life,,,,or at least know that the only thing holding me back,,,,was me!

x flic x

[Kaitlyn Michele]

no clue.. i worked very hard at developing a male persona..

i wonder if CD folks are more "noticable" in this way because they have a higher comfort level as a guy than TS folks, and therefore are not as laser focused on proving their manhood

...just wondering ..i don't know

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My wife had no clue and thought there was no way a big strong, macho guy like myself could actually be a cross dresser. Once I told her she did start putting 2 and 2 together such as why I really did not mind clothes shopping with her, and that my legs were not naturally hairless.

[Angiemead12]

friends, family and SO did not know or have a clue! I do very masculine things when in guy mode, extreme sports, racings, drinking and boisterous things!

[JulieC]

For those who were Discovered/Told after being in a relationship for sometime, did your partner/family/friends have a sense that something was "not quite as it seemed" in other words once the initial talk had taken place, did it transpire that they had gathered little clues/feelings tog but just not been able to make sense of them and now they know, those all made sense ?

Nope. Not one person I ever dated had any clue at all until I told them. Of course, the older I got the more obvious the clues might have become, but the sooner in the relationship I would tell them. Net sum zero probably.

[Gizmo, Debbie]

When i told the family (more so mum) people said that there was things that they just dismissed as childish play but looking back they say there was clues. Other than that nobody seemed to notice.

[Thalia]

I told my SO after 15 1/2 years of marriage and several additional years of living together prior to marriage. She had no clue at all. She realized, in hindsight, that there had been clues, e.g., I enjoyed ("much too much") all the shopping and preparation for two Halloween parties where I dressed as the woman and she, the man. Also, she found a camisole of mine in our bedroom once and (trusting me completely) dismissed it as something that must have been stuck to her clothing from the drycleaner. I am certain that no one else has any inkling of my proclivity.

[jennCD]

She said she would never have known... but considering I was rarely ever able to express this part of me during our relationship, other than within the context of my rambling mind, she'd really have no reason to consider it over the years.

:)
jenn

[charlie]

My wife said she knew and saw many things that led her to believe I was more feminine then I was before. When I married her I had not dressed for 12 years. I then went 5 more years without dressing. Two years ago I started again with a vengeance and I guess my feminine self blossomed with it.

[Karren H]

My wife had no clue, after 30 years of marriage!! I must be a damn good liar! Lol. But appearently not good enough! Sigh.....

[minalost]

Before we got married we did a little "fem underwear" sex play. She thought it was just a lark or a "phase." It was years before I realized how much I needed to CD, and years more before she found out too. In between, I think she knew something was up.
:hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

There were little clues that I left. My mannerisms and other odd things which seemed a little out of place, but they were me. My wife said after I told her that many things made more sense.

[Jaydee]

I was always very careful. When I finally told her about six months ago, she said that she never had a clue. She had always thought my willingness to help her shop was a sign of my self assuredness and nothing more.

Jaydee

[Lashawna_Brooke]

Back in highschool, my female friends always sadi there is something that im hiding, that im different. And My GF's over the years found it weird that i didnt have a problem going prom dress shoping with them, (If they only knew how bad i wanted to be in that dress.Instead of them.) And one friend in paticular never could put her fingure in it till i told here like 3 weeks ago. But i was always really careful in hiding my clothes and aquiring cloths from friends and ex-girlfriends, even when i was dateing them they had no clue that when they left me at there house alone what i was doing, and that the way i like it, till i graduated Highschool and moved out and I told my wife and at first she was in to it and then she stoned walled me all the sudden. But that one friend still has my back no matter what my wife says.

[linnea]

Wife, children (grown and in their thirties before I told them), friends--no one knew or had a clue.

[Kara Connor]

I told three very close friends last year, and they were al very surprised. My wife kne before we were married but I have never actually asked her if she was surprised. Must do that this weekend.

I think many of us who arenot completely out would make great spies, since we are so careful about putting things away, or back in exactly the same place, and cultivating a day to day persona at variance with our internal feelings!

Having said that, I think I am subtly more "out" now, and a fellow CD might read me :)

[RockerTerri]

Oh my god, yes. Odd really, all of my family/friends had about the same response.

"That explains a lot." Or "Yeah, we kinda figured."

So, I guess in my case, it was sort of obvious.

[AllieSF]

I haven't told anyone yet. I will when there is a true need to know. However, I know that I am leaving all those little, and maybe not so little, clues all over the place, including over trimmed eyebrows, manicures and pedicures and wearing clear polish on my finger nails most of the time, a recent attention to my daughter's fashion magazines, less body hair (arms and legs), and who knows what else. I have always been a creature of habits, so when I start changing my routine (which I have over the last 3 years), someone will eventually notice, though they may not say anything (except for my over observant daughter!).

PS: When they do find out by being told or just discovering that which should not be discovered, they will all say, I noticed things were different. But, I think anyone would say that when they discover a big surprise that affects how someone appears and acts.

[Kara Connor]

I told three very close friends last year, and they were al very surprised. My wife knew before we were married but I have never actually asked her if she was surprised. Must do that this weekend.
[snip]


OK, I asked her. The answer was, and I was told to use her exact words, "Hell, yes".

So there you have it :)

[Sheila]

Thanks folks for your replies, I sorta wondered where I fell into the scale of things in my previous relationship ............... I saw things, asked questions, but darn me I never actually asked "are You TG" ... which was his get out clause when I mentioned that I had asked questions over certain situations and things I had seen .............. lets just say I was less than amused at his reply and leave it at that :straightface: :D

[noeleena]

Hi.
Il be a little on the out side here .

In the 60 s one women knew i was different & one guy knew .

The woman told me abut that 3 years ago after seeing me on the T V stations program & the other guy told Jos about the same time .

I droped hints if you like just really being me as a person not wether your a male or female thing just showing what i really was .

Jos , never picked up on things till 12 years ago & of cause it was all there in front of her & then things made sence as to who i was . so at the time 25 years did not suss me & over the last 12 years getting to know me, all up 37 years .

What i have seen is people even if close dont see beyond what they first see & then even if some thing may appear to be different nothing is said so nothing happens unless its way over the top , or you start looking because you have to.

...noeleena...