Irresistable urges to "transform" (long post)

[eluuzion]

It seems like a good idea at the time…

Those Irresistible physical changes…standing in front of the mirror. Before you know it, you are shaving off your beard, or mustache, shaving your legs, and God knows what else. Then you wake up the next morning and realize you made a drastic change in your appearance last night…now what? Lol

The interesting part for me has been my gradual tendency to continue my feminine “make-over”, little by little. Instead of freaking out about people noticing obvious changes, I find myself unwilling to “go back” and want to keep the new look so much that I am surely minimizing the visibility of the changes I am making. Or am I?

I thought it would be interesting to share my gradual “progression” and am curious to hear other’s stories.

Here is my path…beginning many years ago up to current status: I am not sure of the time between each change. Basically, lots of time between the initial changes (when I was married). Then shorter times after I divorced and lived alone.

-One night in my hotel during a weekly business trip, I decided to shave off my moustache (of 20 years). Now that was weird for awhile.

-Next was trimming my genital area really short.
-This was followed a short time later by completely shaving my genital area.

(the following started after I was divorced)

-I started shaving my legs (I am not very “hairy” to begin with, and it is light colored)
-I started shaving my armpit hair too.
-I started shaving my arms too. (Which amounted to shaving my whole body at this point)
-I started using a “concealer” on my face to cover imperfections (sunspots, freckles, etc)
-I started cutting my sideburns (they were short anyway) such that I did not have “any”.
-I started trimming my eyebrows to a much neater appearance (never did it before).
-I became curious about breast pumps, after seeing one online. I made my own vacuum pump for $25 from a brake bleeder, funnels and outdoor glass light fixtures. It is “short term” (I think), but the results are impressive.

This brings me to about 3 weeks ago. I am standing in the bathroom, “trimming” my eyebrows. Trimming turned to “plucking”, and before I knew it, I had nothing but two fine lines, arching up in traditional female style! When I woke up in the morning, I realized all of those claims about eyebrows having the greatest impact on your appearance were true! Fortunately, I wear a baseball cap a lot. I am trying to use eye pencil to “color in” some more eyebrow hair, to avoid being so obvious…lol. But am growing them back? Nope, I just cannot resist continuing to pluck em’.

I wonder if I am still going “unnoticed”, or I am just kidding myself…lol.

If this adventure sounds familiar, I am curious to hear your story.

[tonya2]

wow, i have gone thru the exact same progression over the last 6 years. Now i want bigger breast and am looking into implaints. Pretty amazing when you look in the miror and see the changes, but like you said, no going back:daydreaming:

tonya

[Nicole Brown]

hmmm, interesting. I have gone through just about all of the same steps that you have in just about the same period of time, but without the divorce yet. You are absolutely correct, there is no looking or going back.

I just look forward to a time when I can just begin living my life as Nicole full time. To that end, I have been seeing a therapist who supports me and my direction and has told me that he will support my decisions in all ways. He has arranged for me to see a doctor who has already agreed to prescribe HRT when the time is right, after the separation.

So I am on my way and there is no looking back, only forward.

[gabimartini]

I can totally relate to your story. I'm very hairy and started to trim my body hair. Thought people would notice and nobody said a thing. Even if they had, I don't care, I don't want a hairy body anymore. Same with sideburns, they are getting shorter. Started doing my eyebrows, but haven't yet gone far. Just enough to get rid of my unibrow and make it look neater. Let's see where this goes!

[AKAMichelle]

very similar. I have shaved my arms / armpits / legs / face for awhile now. I even went and laser treatments on back / chest. I use to be a grizzly bear, but now I am a bald bear. I use to keep the eyebrows trimmed but now I don't. I will be starting back as I was think of getting waxed so I could keep them up.

As for people noticing, I think they do. I just don't think they care.

[minalost]

Yes! I epilate my arms, hands, and under arms. Soon it will be my chest and legs too. I LOVE the look of my plucked eye brows. I've been doing a little bit more every week so as to be less noticable to those that see me every day, but I've got them to the point were they look very feminine. I love it! I've also been growing my nails longer and shaping them. No one seems to notice, and I just love the feel. I don't think I'll ever go back to the just plane-old-male look!
:hugs:

[ReineD]

And you only stopped there? :D

Next you will pierce your ears. At first you will wear the non-obtrusive basic studs until the holes have healed. Then you will only wear pierced earrings when you dress. Eventually you will wear, in guy mode, much prettier earrings than the boring studs.

You will continue to grow your hair. When it is long enough, you will have it styled in a femme manner and perhaps even have it tinted.

Nails. You will grow long nails and keep them shaped. At first you will do your best to keep them down to an androgynous length. Eventually you will keep them always long.

You will also always keep your toenails painted which is easy to do because you can wear socks when you need to.

:)

[shannonFL]

Eluuzion, always, you have interesting things to say...and a wry and wickedly
witty way of saying them,...the slide down the rabbit hole begins gently, and
starts out with a safety ladder to climb up from when it becomes a little scary. I used to tell myself...I'll just get a little closer to the edge,...I can always back up....(yeah-right)...
I was with ya'....right up to the brake-bleeder...:brolleyes:

[Lexine]

My trip down the rabbit hole was as dramatic and fast paced, kinda like Tim Burton's interpretation!

When I decided to tell my friend, "You know what? I want to wear androgynous clothing for this party!"

That wasn't enough though, because my friend recommended I groomed my eyebrows so I went to a salon and had them done. We got all the other stuff taken care of (makeup, clothes, etc), went to the party at Disneyland, came back and said "You know what? I want to take this up a notch. I want to be able to pass en femme!"

So we got more stuff, started going out en femme on occasion, then said "You know what? Summer's coming up. So I gotta show a little bit of my legs." So I started shaving my legs and became aware of the slight bit of arm hair I have and shaved that too.

Then I said, "You know what? I'm going to be wearing a dress for my birthday in June. I need to shave more!" So shaving the legs became more regular.

Then, I said "You know what? These blouses are so short on the sleeves that I have to shave my armpit hair!" And so I started shaving them yesterday.

Other things I haven't mentioned? Nails and hair grew longer. I'm planning to grow my nails and hair and am probably going get clip-on earrings.

Keep in mind that this was all within the past two months. Yes, exactly when I joined this forum!

[Kathi Lake]

It does, insidiously, start small. I have done many of the same things.

I started epilating my legs, then my underarms, then my fingers, then my hands, then a bit of my arms, then my chest, then my stomach. I started plucking my eyebrows a year or so ago. Started small by just getting rid of the unibrow, then the ends, then the strays on top, then I started with a little "cleanup" under the brows, then a bit of an arch, then a bit more, and now they are decidedly feminine. No one has said squat. Well, my wife sometimes glances at my hands or my arms, and sometimes my chest. She's trying. I know it's hard. I know she wonders where it will end. Honestly, I'm happy with how I look now, yet can't convince her that this is it.

So, although to us it may be little things we have to remember, to or spouses it can sometimes be more than that. I'm just sayin' is all. :)

Kathi

[VictoriaP]

I have done many similar things to transform my looks. I have svaed my legs and realized that nobody noticed; shaved my armpits, my chest(although I am not hairy at all), which amounts to clipping an occasional hair or three from around my nipples, I have shaved and shaped my eyebrows, shaved off ear hair, my genitals, and I think that is all the hair I have.
Like eluuzion, I am not very hairy by nature so rarely have any other concerns to shave.
I love it and wonder, now, what took me so long!

[Karen564]

I wonder if I am still going “unnoticed”, or I am just kidding myself…lol.

Yup, your just kidding yourself....because there does come a point that people you know do notice !

I went the little by little route too, and before I knew it, there was nothing else left I could do..
By then I had grown my hair & nails way long, always manicured & painted, pierced my ears again, my brows couldn't get any thinner, had no body hair & had electrolysis on my face, been hrt for years & grew my boobs 36C, lost a ton of weight , hips filled out as my waist shrunk...changed my name & Id's..

After I came out to my entire family about being TS & living as a woman, they then told me they did notice me changing over time, but just thought I was becoming gay & didn't want to say anything.....lol

[erika130]

It's very interesting that I've pretty much followed the same path, and gone through those same phases, and it seems that many others here have too. Ok maybe not the breast pumps, but that's because I didn't know, now that I do, well you know : D

The eyebrows for example. A friend insisted I should get them threaded (not plucked, very nice results) simply to get them more shaped as I had never touched them. This was a while ago & it was first a 'guyish' style. Now I've gone back to the place a few times & ask every time to go thiner and to do more of an arch. Basically more & more feminine. I now pluck them constantly, keep a very feminine shape. Same with shaving my legs/body, which by the way feels great each time, I no longer wonder why girls feel so satisfied after doing these things, it even feels sexy. I also tried my nails, which grow pretty quickly, but those really produced comments like "they look so girly" "they are soo feminine" from random people!

Anyways, interesting post!


And you only stopped there? :D

...You will also always keep your toenails painted which is easy to do because you can wear socks when you need to.
..
:)

Wait, you also stopped just there! I want to hear more! :D

[Traci Elizabeth]

It's interesting we all following the same paths of expression. Probably most of us feared being found out by our physical alternations of self but could not resist nor go back.

Thank goodness for this website...right Gals!

[ReineD]

& had electrolysis on my face

Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Electrolysis or permanent laser facial hair removal. Several sessions, since beard grows at an uneven rate. But the laser will only work on beard before it has grayed, so don't wait too long. :)



Wait, you also stopped just there! I want to hear more! :D

Not me, lol. I'm a GG.

[SusieK]

I'm with you apart from the breast pump, and currently contemplating the eyebrows...maybe just a trim to start off with.

Susie

[Sharon B.]

Yes I have gone down the same path except plucking my eyebrows although I do shave them to a feminine arch.
As for the breast pump I use a wet/dry vacuum and a large canning funnel.
Now if I can just lose weight and drop a few dress sizes I be happy.

[NatieBe]

Is this the way Dorothy went??? I'm pretty sure she said so!?!.. I guess I'll just keep going down the same path...LOL...:devil:..XO's Natie

[Ashley Devon]

I naturally have a somewhat androgynous look. But sometimes I do go overboard. I'm 100% sure that people notice but don't say anything. Sometimes my eyebrows are too thin. Other times I buff my nails too much and they are really shiny.

No one ever really says anything though.

[Loni]

been plucking my brows off and on, some hairs have a direct line for pain.:eek:
i try to keep my nails just past the finger tips...keep breaking them. only had one comment in some years about how good they look. face is clean shaven, no side burns.
but body hair is a problem it just grows back way to fast.
and i will leave the break bleeder to you.

what is too much? there is no end.

.

[eluuzion]

And you only stopped there? :D

Next you will pierce your ears. At first you will wear the non-obtrusive basic studs until the holes have healed. Then you will only wear pierced earrings when you dress. Eventually you will wear, in guy mode, much prettier earrings than the boring studs.

You will continue to grow your hair. When it is long enough, you will have it styled in a femme manner and perhaps even have it tinted.

Nails. You will grow long nails and keep them shaped. At first you will do your best to keep them down to an androgynous length. Eventually you will keep them always long.

You will also always keep your toenails painted which is easy to do because you can wear socks when you need to.

:)

hey! get outta' my head! yer' freeekin' me out. You can read my mind, can't cha???? I can feel it, hear it...
AAAA...wut was dat' noise..:eek: Didjuu hear that?/
I knew if i didn't quit talk'in to myself, somethin' like this was gonna' happen... you sound like a nice ghost, though..

you are nice...right....hello??? K, I'm ok,,,I'm ok ...

[ReineD]

hey! get outta' my head! yer' freeekin' me out. You can read my mind, can't cha????

Yes I can, and freaking you out was entirely my intention. :D

[Deborah Jane]

I'm another one who has walked the same path, except shaving my arms [my guy tattoos mean I'm condemned to always wear long sleeves when I dress :sad:]

[eluuzion]

I used to tell myself...I'll just get a little closer to the edge,...I can always back up....(yeah-right)...
:
"No person ever advanced by traveling in reverse...:o

I am no master mechanic, but I do know that changing directions while you are moving forward is a good way to ruin your transition, or is it transmission...told ya I was not a mechanic...pretty sure they mean the same thing anyway....:love:

No, wait, I own my own brake bleeder, so maybe I am a natural mechanical engiqueer?:thumbsup:



Yes I can, and freaking you out was entirely my intention. :D
with apprehension...I'll clarify my question...was my retention your intention?

ok,ok...I promise to stop this and be a good boy now...:shades:



I'm another one who has walked the same path, except shaving my arms [my guy tattoos mean I'm condemned to always wear long sleeves when I dress :sad:]
hey, doesn't Dermablend (the "duct tape" of make-up) have a skin cover ? Always curious about how Hollywood does it. I am tattooless (not toothless). Wax works or no?'

I am experimenting with platinum silicone in my studio. I bet I could figure it out. If not I could just make ya' a new arm, I guess...lol

[Deborah Jane]

hey, doesn't Dermablend (the "duct tape" of make-up) have a skin cover ? Always curious about how Hollywood does it. I am tattooless (not toothless). Wax works or no?'



Nope, I've tried everything to hide my tatts including mixing body coloured paint and painting my arms [that kinda worked but maybe I should have used satin instead of gloss paint, my arms looked like spare parts from a mannaquin :sad:]

Wax gets the hair off, I'm wondering if paint stripper would remove the tatts :thinking:

[Nicole Erin]

"I am no master mechanic, but I do know that changing directions while you are moving forward is a good way to ruin your transition, or is it transmission...told ya I was not a mechanic...pretty sure they mean the same thing anyway....:love:



So exactly where is the gear shift? :heehee: BAD erin

One tends to want to take it further and further.