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View Full Version : Making a stand...nicely



Melissa A.
04-25-2010, 06:58 AM
I've been going to the same nail place for almost a year now. The staff is friendly and very, very good. Great pedicures and massages, too. The woman who runs the place is always very nice. I noticed after a few times there, that I was being charged for a men's manicure/pedicure. I left it alone for quite a while, but yesterday, I decided to make an issue of it. I don't really know exactly why I chose yesterday. I went to a memorial service earlier in the day for yet another murdered transwoman, and that made me sad and yes, a little angry, so perhaps there was some carryover. I had been planning on saying something at some point. When I got my change, gave the two girls their tips, and they started on my hands, I asked the girl doing them about the price. She explained it to me, and I said, "But your list says 9 for a manicure and 18 for a pedicure. That doesn't equal what I paid". (I should add that they are all Asian-Americans, first and second generation, it seems, and although some of them are pretty young, in their 20's, there is sometimes a communication issue)

"That is for women's",
"Well....That's me"
"You're a woman?"

It was at this point that I heard giggling behind me, and I started to get a bit mad. But I kept my cool and let her finish. When I was done, I told them all I wished to speak to the boss, who was in the back somewhere. When she came out, I tried to explain all this to her, without sounding too angry or confrontational. At first she really didn't understand, as I told her that I am legally and medically transitioning. I said I really don't care about the extra few dollars you charge men, I can afford it. It's not about that. Listen, this is who I am...all the time. This isn't a hobby, or something I do on weekends...This is who I always am, I am changing my name and gender, legally. She mentioned something about I.D., and I said, "I will have that, in time. It's a process. In the meantime, I would like to think you would respect a long time loyal customer's wishes. It's not about the money. All I want is to be treated like any other woman who comes in here. That's what is important to me. And it is important. Is that really too much to ask?"

I think it was at that point that the light bulb went on above her's, and the two other girls who were standing there heads. She nodded and said, "ohhhh, we just didn't know. it's ok-we didn't know", and the others were nodding. I smiled and said, "That's ok, I like you all and really like coming here, and want to continue".

So, another potentially bad situation diffused. I really did not want this to turn ugly, which is why I held off for so long. People will listen, if you give them a chance, I guess.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

Kaitlyn Michele
04-25-2010, 08:20 AM
that takes guts Melissa...i'm glad for you!!

one step at a time

~Emma D~
04-25-2010, 03:08 PM
good for you, such a confrontation can't have been easy
bet it will make you stronger though:)

tamarav
04-25-2010, 07:26 PM
I have worked in a number of shops that did manicures/pedicures, and done my fair share of them, but our charges are the same for anyone. We don't have Female/Male prices. Seems like an odd way to gouge men. Also very rude for TS or TG clients, in my opinion.

Karen564
04-25-2010, 07:52 PM
Well done Melissa,
I think that was a very good move on your part, and also think you will gain so much more respect by them for doing so..
I'm sure they just didn't realize that you are for real & thought you were just another CDer, but by setting them straight by educating them in a polite manner that you are TS woman was definitely the way to go....

So it looks like little by little, we are educating & showing the world that we just want to live & be treated the same as any normal woman without anyone making a fuss about it....which to me, will go much farther in a positive light than any parade march or protest....

I like, One Act of Random Kindness at a Time...

Just like Morgan Freeman said about the Ark & changing the World.....lol

:hugs:

RockerTerri
04-25-2010, 08:37 PM
Wait till your ID changes are all made. Here in Ohio we are allowed to change our sex on our license before SRS (thank you Ohio!) and my ID has my new name and sex on it.

Of course, now that my ID is all ready to make people STFU, no one ever asks. Sigh.

Seems odd, that shop's policies. "Odd" being the nicest word I could come up with...

Diane Smith
04-26-2010, 12:15 AM
Odd that they would charge more for men in the first place -- what's the justification for that? If anything, it's less work, not usually involving polish and so forth.

I've seen men's manicures listed separately on the menu at a few nail salons, but the price is always lower than for women. Almost every hair salon around here charges less for a male haircut, and I always insist on the more expensive women's version. :)

- Diane

luvSophia
04-26-2010, 03:32 AM
Odd that they would charge more for men in the first place -- what's the justification for that?
Perhaps because men usually have larger hands and nails? For a manicurist the polish is the simplest part, the time and work are all in the trimming, buffing and cleaning up cuticles. Just a guess, the place I go just has one price.

Angel.Marie76
04-26-2010, 10:11 AM
Kudos to you, girl, for havig the strength to speak up! I hear that whole 'hanging onto the energy of the sadness and anger' when having to deal with Days of Remembrance and so on. If any of my friends were killed because of some bias, I'm sure I would be infuriated. Heck, after the last local TDOR gathering I went to, I couldn't have cared less what anyone thought about me... I just wanted to use that energy to live OUT and proud..

Keep up the good fight hun! :hugs:

donnatracey
04-30-2010, 01:12 AM
Interesting! All the salons in my area charge the same no matter what sex you are. Just assumed it was the same all over.....learn something new every day......:eek:

got2free.Ollie
06-25-2010, 11:00 PM
holy cow! That's amazing! That's way better than I EVER could've managed in a confrontation. Great job, and I hope they keep their word from now on :)

StaceyJane
06-26-2010, 08:10 AM
I had eyebrow threading done last week. They charged 10 dollars for women and 12 dollars for men.
I guess I looked close enough to a woman so they charged me the 10 women's price.