Do I want to stand out or blend in?

[msginaadoll]

Last night I went out to the local club Gigis. It is one of the better places for us girls to hang out in Michigan. I had gotten a makeover earlier at Janets' Close- had it done kind of glam. Was in a very short dress as well as high heel boots. I guess I wanted to look as hot as I could for the night but wasnt totally prepared for the consequences. It was one of the few times in my life I was getting stared at, asked for my phone number, offered drinks, etc. In a way it was nice but in a way it was overwhelming. I tend to be one of the girls that blends in and not stands out. I am definitely shy and kind of a wallflower. It is kind of an exhilarating yet scary experience to be complimented, told you are pretty, etc. In some ways you feel like you are on display. The nice thing was that I knew some of the other ladies there so felt that there was a buffer or safe zone. Anyone other ladies dealt with that- a change in appearance and different reactions, etc. Just my musings.

[RockerTerri]

Holy crap yes.

I have heard every form of crappy pickup line, been called all sorts of names when I politely decline advances (no problem with it, but lets be honest, I am sure as hell not giving my phone number to some idiot who breaks the ice by saying "I'm your huckleberry," and no, i did NOT make that up) and in general I tend to attract a lot of attention. I have been wearing jeans more and skirts / boots less, simply to get a break from it. If you are wearing a skirt and boots, guess what...your going to get the attention. Especially when, like me, you are both rather tall (5'10) and have an, um, appearance that attracts attention (read-my makeup and hair color) so i seem to attract a whole menagerie of interesting admirers.

I usually dont mind really, and hope to meet a great guy someday. But damn...Im your HUCKLEBERRY?

Try harder guys, wow....

[BRANDYJ]

I can relate to it. it was hard for me to deal with guys hitting on me at venues that I have been to. Had to deal with a few creeps and on a rare occasion, some guys were friendly and backed off when I made it politely clear that I was not into men. One of those guys even bought flowers for me after I told him I was not interested in men. At first, that even felt weird. But then I started looking at it as a compliment of sorts.

I've heard so much about GiGis. My girlfriend lives in Westland and has been there herself before we ever met over 4 years ago. She has a son that is TG, and has gone with him on a few occasions. (Her son now lives in another state)

Who knows, if I can find work in the area, I'd be moving up there to help her raise 3 grand daughters she has full guardianship of, so maybe with some luck, I will finally get to go to the often talked about GiGis with the woman I love.
So I'm jealous of you living in Michigan... and jealous of you going to GiGis. lol

[Karen Smith]

in life in general I think I'd prefer blending in, but if I were to go out for the evening I'd love being the hottest thing in the bar! That said, I don't have the benefit of your experience--i can imagine many thanks-but-no-thanks situations.

[Kate Simmons]

LOL how could I not be the center of attention when I normally was the only one on the dance floor at the club I go to for the first few hours? It depends on one's rep and interactions as well. They know I'm somewhat of a tomboy and not afraid to be myself, so everyone gives me a great deal of respect, but then again being a wall flower was never my cup of tea as I'm pretty much a people person. The bottom line is just to be yourself and show respect to others and you will receive respect in return.Works for me anyway. Have fun out there Gina.:)

[RockerTerri]

LOL how could I not be the center of attention when I normally was the only one on the dance floor at the club I go to for the first few hours? It depends on one's rep and interactions as well. They know I'm somewhat of a tomboy and not afraid to be myself, so everyone gives me a great deal of respect, but then again being a wall flower was never my cup of tea as I'm pretty much a people person. The bottom line is just to be yourself and show respect to others and you will receive respect in return.Works for me anyway. Have fun out there Gina.:)

Well, mostly I agree.

Respect shown, sadly, isnt respect earned, at least in my experience. I love attention, otherwise I wouldnt dress the way I do. But, there comes a time
when respect in return simply isnt what happens; I like getting whistled at as I am crossing a street or turning heads at the mall, who wouldnt? But when you're just trying to go get something to eat, or have a beer with a few friends, and people wont leave you alone...and dont seem to comprehend "Im just here to have a beer with some friends" that it gets old, fast.

Terri

[Freddy12]

I really prefer to blend in. I have tried to do that, although I have been obvious about wearing a bra even in drab. It just is what I want to do, and the clothes I want to wear. I don't expect special attention, and so far have not gotten any notice at all. Thank goodness.

[Loni]

i will take blending in and just treated as one of the girls. sounds creepy to be hit on by a guy. not happened to me yet so not really sure how i would take it....but even i can do better than "i am your huckleberry".


.

[kellycan27]

Hey! look at me! :heehee:

[AllieSF]

I enjoy fitting into my surroundings when I can. I also like to be one of the sharpest looking persons in the room if possible. I am definitely not afraid of the attention and actually seek it by starting conversations with total strangers when ever I can. I am also not looking for compliments, but do graciously accept them when offered. I work hard on my style and look, so compliment is like the icing on the cake, and I eat the cake with the icing, just not to much of the latter. And Gina, you always look terrific and I do hope that I get a trip back to Michigan this summer to go out with you again and finish our time shortened tour of the DIA.

[Jessy]

Assuming you didn't go to a specific crossdresser event, how did you deal with it and how did people react after it? I don't know if your voice is passing, I can imagine others being startled after they realize.

Personally, my goal is to blend in. After that works out, standing out is always still an option :D

[NathalieX66]

I just make an effort to look good at my age level. I'm not 21 so I don't dress 21. I'm not a fetish dresser, nor a prude. I just want compliments for looking pretty. I go by the philosophy of If I was a woman, this is what I would look like.

[windycissy]

Mostly I'm just happy to blend in, although sometimes it is fun to get a little attention, like when I used to go squaredancing with the gay boys I loved to put on a petticoat and be the belle of the ball...

[tamarav]

I'm with Kelly on this one. When I go anywhere, I want to be the example that people either talk about or like to look at. I am not doing this to hide in plain sight, I want to show what my skills are and am happy to address anyone that comes forward.

Of course I am able to follow it up with conversation and general beauty industry talk since that is my trade. People expect hair stylists to be on the forefront of fashion, I just create my own fashion statement..

Also, getting hit on is a basic fact of life for women, I really don't know why so many of us get so creeped out. The words "No thank you" and a smile will generally let most men off the hook when you dash their inner desires.

[Empress Lainie]

My tgirl SO and I are completely opposites. I love being the center of attention, and usually am, but she likes to be not noticed.

Nothing I like better than having the whole dance floor to myself. I usually get applause when it happens.

I am always accepted as a gg. She is generally taken to be a male crossdresser, and it really aggravates her when she is called SIR. She puts her hands under her boobs, pushes them up and says: "Does this look like a SIR?" It always results in an embarrassed apology.

My longtime gg friend says I can get away with wearing things she couldn't. Like my lavender long hair wig. When I wear it I get compliments. She has recently told me that since I most always wear skirts or dresses she has decided to stop wearing pants so much and is going to wear more skirts and dresses. I'm 75 and she is only 6 months younger. The funny thing to me is that when I am out with her, dinner, movies, etc., people always address me and not her with greetings.

[Genifer Teal]

There is more than one way to stand out. You would certainly stand out if there was a monkey on your head. As long as the attention is for the right reasons, I love it. I'm not a quiet person, I just have trouble starting conversations. Girls come up to me with compliments about my legs, or how well I walk in heels, or to take a picture with me. Who wouldn't love that? When I go to edgier places, I often get asked to hang in the vip with the "cool" crowd. I enjoy getting noticed and treated special.

Gen

[docrobbysherry]

Gina, I understand how u must have felt. After 3 days of being invisible at the SCC in Atlanta, I decided to let Sherry out!:eek:

OMG! Stares, smile, smirks, compliments, pictures of strange girls with Sherry! I really wasn't prepared for the SUDDEN CHANGE in attention!:o
But, I GOT USED TO IT!:D

Fortunately, no guys were around to hit on me!:heehee:

[Vickie_CDTV]

Other than once or twice I can't say I have been hit on by guys en femme. I suppose I am not the kind of woman men generally find attractive (but I do dress nicely and I have been told I have good taste.)

On a few occasions I have had gay guys show interested in me while I was en drab. I found the experience to be quite uncomfortable. I was out with a girlfriend once and one of the guys asked her if I was gay and available; she thought it was quite funny :doh:

[nikkijo]

Hey! look at me! :heehee:

would love to... but your to busy playing with your fiance in a feild....

myself i am in between.... i want to be noticed to a point.... ... but not be overly noticed....

nikki may be a party animal... but she is very sensitive and easilly hurt..

[kellycan27]

would love to... but your to busy playing with your fiance in a feild..


;) Thank you

[ReineD]

I can't answer from a CDing POV, but I can relate. I also feel uncomfortable putting myself on display (when alone, not when I'm out with my SO, lol) in a nightclub. But when I was younger, the anxiety just wasn't worth it to me. I felt awkward and embarrassed with the attention, like I didn't fit in. So I stopped going there, it just wasn't me.

[Chickhe]

Can I blend in and stand out? I like to blend such that I'm not that different from the average, except I want to feel sexy or as feminine as possible. I want attention, but I'm scared of it. It is all very confusing.

[jenna_woods]

I understand what you are saying, it has happened to me also, I just try and blend in now.

[Roxi Loh]

Tough question. I like to be noticed but I dont dress too ****ty. It depends a little on the crowd.

[Natalia]

I prefer to be invisible. That gal who walks by the table and nobody even looks up.

Hard to achieve.

[Emma Jean]

For the most part I would be more comfortable blending in. There is a part of me that would like to be front and center on occasion though.

[Kelly Raeva]

I've only been going out for less than a year, so I'm still trying to find my place in the world. That said, I try to dress appropriately for the situation while looking the best I possibly can. At 6'1" in flats, if I don't get noticed then I'm doing something very wrong. As far as I'm concerned the best reaction is when I get the full length look followed by a smile. That allows me to decide how I want to engage them. Drawing too much attention and I lose that control.