That whole "voice" thing: Met with my GG friend this past Saturday

[Lexine]

I figured since it's been a while since I posted a story of my adventures that it's about time to talk about something recent that happened to me.

As some of you girls know, I've been freely going out in girl mode the past couple of weeks since I attended my friend's birthday party at Disneyland in an androgynous outfit. This past week, a friend of mine requested that she wanted to meet the other Alex so we planned to meet up this past Saturday to go have lunch and watch a movie in the afternoon.

So I dressed up in the nicest Spring season clothes that I have and met up with her at this place called Tender Greens. A long line of people stretching out the front door of the restaurant welcomed my friend and I, and it became clear to me very quickly that any sort of conversation that happened between her and I would be heard by the people in front, behind, and around us. I got really conscious of my environment, much more so than before, and I tried to keep my composure and not panic. My femme voice isn't perfect at all... in fact, it's just a slight variant of my male voice, but a tiny bit pitch-shifted and maybe slightly softer, somewhat breathy, and kinda sing-songy.

Long story short, my friend and I ordered our food and the cashier even wrote down "Alice" instead of "Alex" for my name on the order. No one really looked at me strange, even though I was merely wearing a hairband to simulate more hair volume on my head, and I freely spoke to my friend in the best girl mode voice I could be comfortable speaking in, which is to say, not much (in my opinion anyway).

After the delicious lunch and the very enjoyable and cute movie ("How to Train Your Dragon 3D"), my friend decided to text me while I'm driving and it put a smile on my face. It read:

"Btw your breasts seem more natural than implants. I think fact they wrote your name as alice is plus and your right no adams apple."

Regardless of whether or not my Adam's apple or my package showed (they both don't), I was really more worried that my voice would somehow break my facade. Imagine my surprise when for some reason, on that day, people really didn't give a damn about that at all! Society still continues to surprise me...

Oh and on a side note, Kathi - remember when you told me about having close encounters with moms and little girls in the restroom? It totally happened to me at the movie theatre! But I'll save that for another time :)

[gabimartini]

Alex, I think in the end people care less than we think they will. Some people don't notice (stealth passing), some people do notice but don't care (passing), some people do notice and are stupid enough to show it (clocking).

So, I'm happy that you carried yourself with confidence, and had a good time! It's what this is all about!

[Freddy12]

I think that most times people don't notice, but when there's direct contact, people often are gracious and go along with the image one wants to present. It's unfortunate that some of us (me in particular) tend to remember those most who are not accepting and are vocal about it.

[eluuzion]

It always has a lot to do with where you happen to be in the world. In the USA, going out in LA, Vegas, Miami, NY, etc...you are more likely to be accepted than you would be in the heart of Nebraska or Iowa.

You just have to pick your battles. Some NY people choose to stay in NY, some like the challenge of being from NY and trying to live in Texas, lol.

[Empress Lainie]

Guess I'll throw in my own experience voicewise here.
My mom had a deep voice and was always addressed as sir on the phone.

I frequently get that, very seldom ma'am. However, in public, I have lived as a woman and have female ID since 2007, and I have never been called out on my voice, which was incredible to me. I think in my normal speech it is rather androgynous, and maybe that is why, but I really don't know.

I deal with the 4 women who work with me, that I relieve or that relieve me, and not one of them has ever acted like they even suspected I wasn't a gg. Same thing for all the people I see as customers every day. A couple of guys have become more or less friends with me.

I don't think people pay much attention to the voice (unless it was very deep) if they perceive you as a woman. I have checked in singing and my voice range matches Anne Murray.

[Kathi Lake]

Oh and on a side note, Kathi - remember when you told me about having close encounters with moms and little girls in the restroom? It totally happened to me at the movie theatre! But I'll save that for another time :)Oh, I hear you, hon! If you have read my adventures, you will know that this is the one thing that actually scares me. I don't mind that I'm a guy dressing as a woman in conservative Utah. I don't mind walking by some huge brutes while I'm wearing a short skirt and cute heels. What I do mind is being thought of as what many people take us for already - child-molesting perverts. Why there seems to be the connection between that and crossdressers in people's minds is utterly beyond my comprehension. Still, it is there, and I try to steer clear. You never want to get between a mother and her cubs. It is a no-win situation.

Kathi

[Persephone]

Very good post, but now I gotta know -- so what happened in the restroom???