If you needed a room mate. What to do.

[BRANDYJ]

I am wondering...If you needed to find a room mate, would you as a MTF crossdresser, seek out another Cd to become room mates with. Or maybe find a GG women to become roommates with?

I know I will have to find a room mate to split the cost of living in today's down economy, and I know I do not wish to have a male room mate since I prefer the company of women.
So would you advertise on one of the room mate finding sites and be upfront in your ad about your being a CD? Or would you wait until you met that prospective room mate and feel her out as to how she will respond or react to your being a cross dresser. I think it would be something hard to hide in any living arrangement. Slip up and leave something feminine in the washer or dryer would raise unwanted questions or worries for a room mate that might end the room mate comfort and or friendship that I feel should be a part of any living arrangement.

Are any of you in a room mate situation now and it's out that you are a crossdresser? How about any that might now be in a strictly platonic room mate situation with another CD. Is is working out for you?

How about any of you that are or have been platonic room mates with a GG. How did you find her to become room mates?

I am in a relationship that for now is long distance and due to circumstances, we can't move to be together for an unknown period of time. She is stuck in Michigan raising 3 little grand daughters. I'd move there in a heartbeat if I could find work. Not an easy thing to do with this economy. She is fully supportive and trusting in my finding a GG room mate or another CD.

I think it would be great to find another Cd or even a TS, to room with if we hit it off and were otherwise compatible. Maybe even better if I could find a GG that accepts me as a man and a CD. I know it's not going to be easy, but I'd like to hear your thoughts, advice and experiences if you have any to share.
I realize that anyone looking for a room mate faces a hard task. Boundaries need to be agreed on, with house rules to be considered and respected.
But being a CD makes it even harder.

Any thoughts? Or better yet, anyone in SW Florida (Fort Myers/Cape Coral) looking for a roommate? Or even better...anyone in the Detroit area need an honest reliable jack of all trades and salesman? (hey, it could happen :daydreaming:)

[Sarah_GG]

Just find someone who is anally retentively tidy and clean!

Whether they are CD, GG, GM or anything else, it doesn't matter as long as they're housetrained.

Good luck! :)

[AKAMichelle]

Remember that if you post in an ad that you are a cd'er, the person on the other end could be a co-worker. Other than that fear, I would probably pursue another cd'er. GG's would be much difficult to find.

All I can suggest is put the word out and as Sarah said - make sure they are house trained. My boys aren't and I would hate to be there roommates.

[BRANDYJ]

Remember that if you post in an ad that you are a cd'er, the person on the other end could be a co-worker. Other than that fear, I would probably pursue another cd'er. GG's would be much difficult to find.

All I can suggest is put the word out and as Sarah said - make sure they are house trained. My boys aren't and I would hate to be there roommates.

Thanks for your input Michelle.

I'm not worried about co-workers. None that I work with are looking for roommates. As for being house trained, that's a two way street. :D

I honestly think a GG would be easier to find. At least in this area. Our population is not that dense. Of course just like a CD trying to find a date or life mate with a GG, it's when to tell. Put it out there in a ad or wait until you make first contact to discuss the living arrangements. Some GG's will accept it once they know the male side first.

The interesting thing is in looking at some GG's that have rooms available, the majority list their choice of potential roommates as either straight or gay males and straight women only. So it makes me wonder if they are willing to room with a gay male, that maybe they would consider a straight crossdresser since they are open minded enough to accept a gay male. And the ads I have looked at are all women 45+ years old.

It also makes me wonder if most GG's think less of CDers then they do gay males? Interesting question in of itself.

[caguy1989]

I would say find someone who is not violent and wont steal your things :) haha. But no seriously I would interview people to see if they are okay with your crossdressing (if you are okay with telling them this) or otherwise just find someone you're comfortable with and live your life!


-Gina

[Lover girl]

While my CD life was in a small box in the back of the closet. I had three room mates The first one was a friend I knew for 5 years and was down on his luck so I let him move in. 1 and a half years later I found out that he was a pedifile. I almost killed him while throwing him out the door. The 2nd one would have a different piece of trailer trash each day. Walk in the front door of my house and see him doing the deed openly in the living room and other acts I couldn't mention here. The third one....Coke head and crack. Do I have to say that he needed to leave. Just say NO to room mates...

[donnalee]

Why not use a classified ad on this site to find a roommate?

[BRANDYJ]

While my CD life was in a small box in the back of the closet. I had three room mates The first one was a friend I knew for 5 years and was down on his luck so I let him move in. 1 and a half years later I found out that he was a pedifile. I almost killed him while throwing him out the door. The 2nd one would have a different piece of trailer trash each day. Walk in the front door of my house and see him doing the deed openly in the living room and other acts I couldn't mention here. The third one....Coke head and crack. Do I have to say that he needed to leave. Just say NO to room mates...

WOW! Those are not good room mate experiences to say the least. I'd like to think I can read people and suspect or know what kind of person they are before ever committing to a room mate situation. The first one, I'd have killed him for sure. The second one is one of the reasons I do not want a male room mate! I would hate to come home and find him doing the deed in the living room. Or for that matter, wake up to a strange woman in the kitchen while fixing morning coffee. And the last, a drug addict. That is another one of my pet peeves. I will not even be kind or friendly to anyone that uses drugs, let alone put up with it under the same roof. If I suspected any of these things from someone, I'd not even consider them as friends, let alone room mates.

Really sorry you had these bad experiences.

[BRANDYJ]

Why not use a classified ad on this site to find a roommate?

Hi Donna. I never thought of that. But I wonder how many of us even reads the classifieds. Especially within 25 miles of me. But ya never know. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Freddy12]

First, I would recommend that you go with trying to room with a GG. From what you have said, you prefer the company of GG's.

Second, I think that an ad, with reference to liking feminine things and not being explicit would be best. Then when you meet the prospective roommate, be more obvious. Wearing an article of women's clothing would work for starters. GG's generally pick up on these things quickly.

I think it's great that you want to be up front. There are roommate situations that turn out very well, so don't be scared off by stories of bad experiences!

[Stephenie S]

Just find someone who is anally retentively tidy and clean!

Whether they are CD, GG, GM or anything else, it doesn't matter as long as they're housetrained.

Good luck!


This is the best advice I have seen yet.

I rent rooms, and the dressing habits of my tenants are none of my concern. However, the CLEANLINESS and TIDINESS of my tenants is of utmost concern. You have no idea how irritating it is for someone to leave a sink full of dirty dishes for someone ELSE to do, until they do it. And dropping crumbs ALL over the sofa and floor in the living room. ICK.

There are FAR more important issues when living with someone than the choice of their clothing. Pay more attention to the character of a prospective roommate than to anything else.

Stephie

[BRANDYJ]

First, I would recommend that you go with trying to room with a GG. From what you have said, you prefer the company of GG's.

Second, I think that an ad, with reference to liking feminine things and not being explicit would be best. Then when you meet the prospective roommate, be more obvious. Wearing an article of women's clothing would work for starters. GG's generally pick up on these things quickly.

I think it's great that you want to be up front. There are roommate situations that turn out very well, so don't be scared off by stories of bad experiences!

Thanks Freddy. A GG is my first choice. Another CD would be my second choice. But with anyone, comparability would be the main issue. That includes living habits such as cleanliness, consideration for each other's limits or tolerance.

Not so sure wearing something feminine upon first meeting to see if we are compatible is something I would do or even a good idea. I'm not looking for a room mate that wants to be part of my dressing or even one that wants to see me dressed. I would respect her desire to never see it. She just has the right to know it is part of me and something that would not freak her out IF she ever accidentally saw me dressed or found some of my feminine things.


Just find someone who is anally retentively tidy and clean!

Whether they are CD, GG, GM or anything else, it doesn't matter as long as they're housetrained.

Good luck!


This is the best advice I have seen yet.

I rent rooms, and the dressing habits of my tenants are none of my concern. However, the CLEANLINESS and TIDINESS of my tenants is of utmost concern. You have no idea how irritating it is for someone to leave a sink full of dirty dishes for someone ELSE to do, until they do it. And dropping crumbs ALL over the sofa and floor in the living room. ICK.

There are FAR more important issues when living with someone than the choice of their clothing. Pay more attention to the character of a prospective roommate than to anything else.

Stephie

I am sure you are more accepting or tolerant then someone that does not have what I would call an alternate lifestyle. I think it would freak out many that like you, rent rooms. But what irritates you would irritate me with anyone living under the same roof.

Simply put, I am not seeking someone to share my lifestyle, but still think it is important that a prospective room mate at least knows it is part of me and is OK with it and won't freak out or think less of me because of it. If you rent out rooms as in a rooming house, I could never live like that, being a CD or not. Home to me is to be shared only with someone that at minimum is a friend, and not just someone that happens to rent a room in the same home.

[Alberta_Pat]

Should I find myself in the unlikely situation where I needed to take in a roomie, I would contact the local GLBT offices.

They would be able to let it be known in the "world" that There was "appropriate" and "non-judgmental" accomodation available.

That part out of the way, it would come down to the personal habits of the prospective roomie.

Who knows, the "right" person may come into your life this way.