How do people react to you on the street?

[gabimartini]

I replied to a post today, and it got me thinking, so I'd like to open it up for discussion. When you go out, how do people react to you? I mean total strangers, general folks in malls, grocery stores, restaurants, etc.

A. NO REACTION: people don't give you a second look, either because they think you are a GG, or because they don't care.

B. COURTESY: people may spot you as a T-girl, but they still treat you well, according to your presentation.

C. TOLERANCE: people see a man in a dress, you get a few odd stares, there may be discomfort in the air, but most are still ok.

D. REJECTION: people are plain rude and discriminatory to you because of your presentation.

There's no right or wrong answer. This is not intended to measure anyone's ability to pass. I'm more interested in gauging society's most frequent reactions towards us when we go out en femme. In my limited experience, I've seen reactions A and B.

What's your story? Please share!

[Eve_WA]

Mostly A with a little B and C mixed in. Only had one D, and he was assuredly an 'F'... LOL

[gailprice]

B for me

[RachelRICD]

Mostly A's & B's. At my workplace I am one of the girls so mostly A's. On the street to and from the office or shopping or generally out in public A's & B's.
Have never been confronted or had any issues.

[Marcia Blue]

I like to think A&B but, I know there are a lot of C's also. I have not run into a D yet.

[WendyH]

Mostly A, sometimes B. Very rarely C, and so far never D. (fingers crossed)

[StaceyJane]

I would say A&B.
I haven't had any problems yet and I have gone out in public a few times.

[NV Susan]

A, B and C for me. I did have a D reaction many years ago but he was just a jerk.

BTW gabimartini I love your avatar!!!

[StephanieDragg]

Mostly a, mainly since I think I go where people are too busy to notice, when I do get noticed mostly b but some c, I have had only a couple rude (d)comments in about 3 yrs of being out dressed

[divamissz]

A or B is typical; most people tend not to notice or care unless you do something to draw attention to yourself. C, not so often. D? At least one person feels a need to say or do something indicating how small-minded they are.

[Andy66]

Ha, funny you should mention this, Gabi. Yesterday there was a CD shopping where I work, who was wearing a sheer swimsuit cover-up and a thong with her butt hanging out. :eek: You guessed it, she got the "D" treatment, same as a GG would if wearing the same thing to go shopping. (I didn't see her, but heard about her.) If she had dressed with a little bit of class I imagine she would have gotten an A or B. It sort of embarrassed me because she's making CDs look bad, and people will remember her. :sad:

[Billijo49504]

A and B sometimeds. Doors opened and that sort of thing...BJ

[SherriePall]

I would say A (no reaction) when I am just walking through a mall or shopping. I would like to say A when interacting with others, but I know it's really B (courtesy) probably because of my voice (which I try to femme up).

[Karren H]

A, B, C and D... Most people don't care. A few have have given me a second look.. Had a few whistles.. Cat calls... A few have smiled. I've had a few creepy guys follow me down the street.. I didn't hange around their long. Then their was this boy at Wendys.. Who's jaw hit the floor when I drove up to the window enfemme. As I drove away I heard him yelling. "Roy... Roy.. You got to see this!!" I was laughing so hard the diet coke came out my nose... Messed up my makeup! Lol. Probably ruined him for life!! :).

[Kathi Lake]

Gabi,

I have had A through C and also E (which you did not list). I have been treated with everything from barely concealed amusement to grudging acceptance to full-on rockstar status. It depends on the person and where they are in their life and on your attitude as well. I think Sue said once when she was out with me, watching people and I interact, something along the lines of, "I used to think that acceptance was 5% you and 95% the other person's doing, but watching Kathi interact with them makes me think it's the other way around."

When I go out, I kind of "steamroll" them with kindness, humor and "a perception of normality." Basically, I don't give them time to realize that I'm the least bit odd.

So, people have treated me pretty nicely. Self-fulfilling prophesy? Perhaps. I go into a store expecting to have fun and an excellent shopping experience. So far, I haven't been disappointed.

Kathi

[sherri52]

somewhere between B and C

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't get out often but when I have been out I've gotten pretty much the full range of responses but mostly it's "A", people don't pay attention. Those that do may shrug their shoulders and think quietly how happy they are they aren't related to me. I've seen a couple of responses that show I've brought joy to someone's life, or was that giggle for something else? The only real "D" response was from a drunk 20-something man with a group of buddies and they kept him in check so it was over in just a few seconds and the group I was with just kept moving along.

The best are those responses that Kathi added to the list. I was with a group in Las Vegas and we were taking group photos and had one woman just jump in with us. She was very interested and wanted to learn more about us. It was a high point in the trip. I have her business card and when I have approval from the others in the photo, I'll send it along to her.

[Stephanie Miller]

In the movies, you know that look people have as the aliens come out of the ground, right before the crowd of people go screaming down the street? :confused2: Well, I haven't had that yet.... but wait, there's always a first for everything.
I would venture I come up against a strong tie between B & C. But there raises the question....
Did the people actually react that way or is that the way I perceived them to act? I always hope they are thinking A ( the GG part), but don't have the security to think so.
I've had people I have been with whisper " hey, he's checkin' you out" and when I look, I see someone clocking me as a dude in a dress and thinks I look ridiculous.

[Schatten Lupus]

I haven't been out yet, but reading this thread gives me small boost in confidence.

[willowgurl]

Mostly, no notice, but I've had a few teenage GGs react with a D. Willow

[jenna_woods]

its A FOR ME

[carhill2mn]

To my knowledge, A. If someone has perceived me as a "T-girl", I have not known about it.

[Deborah Jane]

So far so good, all A's, there may have been B's but neither Sheila or I have noticed them :)

[Priscillia Smith]

I would say A and B. Usually I hit up the local gay bar with my cousin and his boyfriend (who is a big muscular black guy) so no one really gives us any trash.

[Midnight Skye]

A and B are usually what happens for me. I've only had one "bad" reaction which resulted in a man laughing at me... but that's doesn't ruin my day :)

[AKAMichelle]

Mostly B but also A & C

[jenifer m.]

gotta say its b,and c for me,but some times i never get spotted.

[5150 Girl]

A 70% (likey the "don't care" part)
B 25%
C 5%
D Still pending...

[Regina]

So far this year it has been an "A". Last spring I thought I had my first "F" at the gas station, I was gassing up the SUV when a truck driver got out of his rig several spaces over and started looking in my direction, he ended up about 30 feet in front of the car looking at me....I started to get a little nervous..so I looked right back at him..he did nothing...so I'm thinking, this guy has glasses as thick as coke bottles,he couldn't possibly see me this well.

Stupid me!...got in the car and left and on my way out noticed that there was roofers on the canopy above, he was checking the work out not me...just another paranoia attack.



Regina

[Kate Lynn]

Always D,where I live there is extreme intollerance towards anyone who is different.

[Cristi]

There were two people checking me out, so that would be double Ds? :daydreaming:

For the record, I get mostly A/B with a very few Cs... only 1 D but it only lasted a few seconds as he shouted insults from a passing car.

[gabimartini]

I haven't been out yet, but reading this thread gives me small boost in confidence.

That's exactly the point! Most often we will get no reaction. Sometimes, we may get a surveying second look, which will most probably stop there, whether people clock us or not!

BTW, thanks to those who have replied so far!

[Terri Andrews]

I would say that it is" A "most of the time and" B "the rest .

[katies27]

Today was my first time out in daylight!
Drove to the shopping mall wher the reaction was all A.
In fact, I even ended up buying a new outfit as the shop assistant could not have been more friendly and helpful, B.
No C or D as yet, but it was first thing at the mall, no groups of drunken males to contend with. I got a few looks, but most people were too busy to notice, those that did made nothing of it that I could detect.

Katie

[Karen564]

To my knowledge, it's straight A's for me......Just like my grades in college.:heehee:
except for the one time had a B incident when a fellow 24/7 TS sister recognized me in a store......oh well....:lol:

My story, is that I live 24/7, so maybe that makes it a little easier by having lots of experience dealing with the public...

[windycissy]

A's for the most part when I'm by myself minding my own business, occasionally when I go out with a group of "girls" who are a little more outgoing and in-your-face in public it gets more interesting...of course when I started out I got a lot of C's and D's but I worked very hard to bring up my grades, like a good girl :)

[sissystephanie]

In past years, when I went out as a female the reactions were either A or B. Now that I go out as a male wearing feminine clothing it is either A, B, or C, mostly B and C. Jinxing myself again, but have never had a D or worse!

[dilane]

About half of the people laugh out loud, and the other half run away fast :eek:

A's as far as I can tell. I usually can't detect any reaction on the street. But I've had a one glance in the parking structure at the Beverly Center. I had been studying a woman's very nicely put together look, and she decided to pay attention to me, resulting in a nice (but knowing) smile.

I think folks are more attentive to others in a big bad dark parking structure than they are on the street.

I'm not too big (5'8" and slender), and that helps a lot with the all important first glance impression. Of course, when they get a good look at my face, all bets are off!

[pamela_a]

A's or B's for me mostly, possibly a C thrown in but I've not really noticed it. I don't recall ever having a bad response from anyone, especially since i started transitioning and living full time.

[Alexandra]

A, B and C for the most part!

[Fab Karen]

A, B, & sometimes C.

[Jennifer in CO]

well, since I don't try to pass I'm usually wearing fem clothes presenting male...needless to say I stay away from skirts/dresses. I don't remember anything less than an "A" but once. It was a B- I'll call it. My fault too... I had a job to do on a new construction site and I wasn't thinking about what I wore that day...black skort with white tank top and white sandals. Got a few looooooong looks...

Jenn

[Stefia S]

Now mostly A, sometimes B (hard to tell sometimes). Before I had a make-over, learned to apply makeup much better and did not have down the femme voice I have now, I got something between C and D from teens working at a movie theater. The ticket guy called others staffers to "come see" me as I entered the lobby. Then later, a curious staffer that had missed me in the lobby came into the theater while the movie was on, searched the audience in the dark, stood at the end of my aisle,then peered and gawked at me. *That* was awkward. It taught me I could take being read and being treated like a sideshow (rudely) in a stride.

[NathalieX66]

A, B & C....it also depends on how you dress. wearing pants will definitely put you in the category of A. If you dress provocatively, people will want to look, that's just human nature. If you dress elegantly and do it well, you get smiles. :)
Making face-to-face eye contact from 4 feet away in a location where people are forced to acknowledge you is where it gets interesting. People feel they must respond somehow, some ignore, others take a double take. I've gotten enough positive & neutral responses that a dirty look from someone means nothing to me.

[Mirani]

"A"
but as there is no apparent response I cant say if its just acceptance/tolerance or no one notices.

[msginaadoll]

I would go with mostly A when I'm out. Course that may be because I'm moving so fast. My outings other than clubbing involve mostly going to mall's bookstores, and shopping in Ferndale( Which is a one of the most relaxed cities to hang out in). When I slow down enough to buy something or talk to folks between A and B's with a little minor celebrity staus at certain places. I have never been treated rude, may have made a couple folks nervous. Have had a few folks chat me up the occasional compliment, or being checked out look etc. All in all positive experiences.

[Lexine]

Thus far I've gotten both A & B. Today, I purchased a wig with the help from a friend and it's been all A so far! I'll write about it later :)

[PretzelGirl]

I think Sue said once when she was out with me, watching people and I interact, something along the lines of, "I used to think that acceptance was 5% you and 95% the other person's doing, but watching Kathi interact with them makes me think it's the other way around."

Amen. If you see the right attitude at work, you learn the right attitude will work.

In my limited experience (I really need to get out more), I would say B. There might have been some A, but I was ignoring them as much as they were ignoring me. I only noticed the B's.

[Faith_G]

"A"

Like many others have said, I don't know if its "Don't care" or "don't notice." And I don't really care which it is.

The result is the same, I get to live my life the way I want without being mistreated. Who could ask for anything more? :happy:

[Lisa Renee]

I would have to say A, could be B, but not really aware of any. I believe most people see what they expect to see when looking at others. So if you are presenting as female, that is what they see.

[Leslie Langford]

Mostly A and occasionally B, and I have yet to experience an uncomfortable encounter with either a stranger or a female SA when I am out shopping as "Leslie".

I would even go so far as to say that those SA's in women's clothing stores who do "read" me - rather than being taken aback by the realization - actually seem to go out of their way at that point to be especially attentive to make my shopping experience with them a pleasant one. And they usually set me up in a fitting room before I even have a chance to ask.

Whether that is a manifestation of some latent protective/nurturing instinct that comes to the surface at that point, or else an unspoken admiration for the effort I have made to perfect my female presentation without appearing like a bad parody of a woman - it's hard to say. Then again, maybe they just see me as an older, better dressed (read "feminine"), and more sophisticated woman than the average mall shopper, and one who looks as if she knows what she wants and is willing to pay accordingly. And for them, that can potentially translate into a good sale and an even better commission if they play their cards right. In the end, it doesn't really matter. I get great service, and they get an easy sale without the grief some GG's will put them through (demanding, difficult to please - the proverbial "bridezillas" :doh::D), and everybody wins.

And as for the looks that I get from the GG's that I pass on the street or in the malls - when I first went out in public en femme and had women give me those long, analytical looks they tend to, I used to get paranoid and expected to be "outed" at any moment. Now I'm not so sure, and I think that instead of (or perhaps, despite) being "read" - those looks probably have more to do with analyzing what I am wearing and mentally critiquing the overall "look" that I am aiming for, while subconsciously comparing it to whatever they happen to be wearing at that moment. In other words - simply an example of the old adage that women don't actually dress attractively to impress men, but rather to impress other women :eek::doh::heehee:.

[t-girlxsophie]

I have to say some A,but to be honest mostly B and C though if ppl stare etc Your in their mind for a second then they are gone,hardly worth your time worrying.Have had my fair share of D,theres always that moronic element of society out there sadly:sad: Ended up in hospital one time suppose that was an X

But recently on my latest trip out,I dont know if it was my new found positive,confident attitude,but I managed straight A,mind you dunno wat was going on behind me,could have done with a rear view mirror:heehee:

[RachelPortugal]

B occasionally wavering into A and C.

Rachael

[Alicia.80]

I'd say 60% of the time it's C, 25% of the time it's D, 10% of the time it's B, and 5% A.

[gabimartini]

Browsing the replies, I'd say there is a lot more acceptance out there than we seem to realize. If we are assertive and project that energy while en femme, we are going to get that in return, most of the time.

Also, most people are not paying that much attention anyway. They will analyze you for a nanosecond and classify, "boy", "girl", "boy in a dress", "girl with tie", etc. Of course, there's always going to be narrow-minded people, but they will frown at every stereotype on the book, not only CDers.

Thanks to those who have replied so far!

[amandag]

I have been rated in the 'C' and sometimes a "B". I have been outed and talked about in hearing distance of myself while walking thru clothing sections of large stores.

Amanda

[Diana L]

I think the response of others is mostly in the A and B range. I have learned that if I act as a lady and treat others with kindness and respect they treat me the same way. As far as being read in public, I quit worrying about that years ago. I am my own person and have the right to express my feminine side if I want.

Diana

[Farrah]

Unfortunately C for me...

[tamarav]

Most people don't want to think of themselves as being "uncool" or have others think that way, so I think A is the typical answer for me. "Yeah, I've seen it all and I don't react to anything anymore" kind of thinking.

However, I still get a lot of "R" and "Hmmm" looks and a lot of lusty smiles, not sure what letter that falls under. I know R doesn't exist in your scale, but it needs to be added with a lot more.

[Rianna Humble]

I replied to a post today, and it got me thinking, so I'd like to open it up for discussion. When you go out, how do people react to you? I mean total strangers, general folks in malls, grocery stores, restaurants, etc.

A. NO REACTION: people don't give you a second look, either because they think you are a GG, or because they don't care.

B. COURTESY: people may spot you as a T-girl, but they still treat you well, according to your presentation.

C. TOLERANCE: people see a man in a dress, you get a few odd stares, there may be discomfort in the air, but most are still ok.

D. REJECTION: people are plain rude and discriminatory to you because of your presentation.

There's no right or wrong answer. This is not intended to measure anyone's ability to pass. I'm more interested in gauging society's most frequent reactions towards us when we go out en femme. In my limited experience, I've seen reactions A and B.

What's your story? Please share!

First up, no-one perceives me as a GG - I've a lot more work to do before I can get that far. That said, I would say that I've had about 90% A & B (don't care) both at work and in shops, restaurants or hotels, 8% C (especially early on) and less than 2% D - a few eejits who think it's funny to make a comment like "That is a bloke in a dress isn't it?".


I have a couple of hotels where I like to stay because they are really friendly even though they know me by my old name but have mainly only seen me dressed. One of the hotels even let me use the facilities to change into drab for work when I wasn't booked in.

The shop where I bought my wig, must know I'm a T-Girl, but they are so helpful and nice.

I think the salon where I go for my mani / pedi / eyebrows & fake tan initially classed me as a "man in a dress" because that's what I told them I was, but now they see me more as one of the girls.

Even towards the start when I was definitely seen as a man in a dress (or skirt & top) I got some nice compliments from GGs who spoke to me about my nails & such. About my third time travelling to work dressed, a GG said she admired me for having the courage to go out dressed how I wanted to be.

[Chickhe]

A to B. Some C's and many times it depends on my attitude. If I smile people usually smile back. The thing that gets me, most of the time anyone has asked for my ID, they are surprised when they see that I am male...I don't think I often pass, but you never know what people are thinking.

I've had nice smiles from woman, men...most people don't react at all. Some who did read me talked to me and were friendly. I think most other people just don't know what to say or do so unless you initiate conversation. I've also had whistles and the like, but no more than a woman would get...do they really have to deal with that crap every day?

...but what I am learning, is it doesn't really matter what people think, just as long as I can find a way to enjoy it. There is some thrill in knowing you just added some excitement to someone's otherwise boring existence.