I don't want to be a women "BUT"

[Michelle 51]

!5 years ago in my mid 40s when dressing was all sexual and you asked me if i wanted to be a women the answer without hesitation would have been a no.Now when i dress fully as a women and feel my skirt slide around on my slip when i sit or my nylons rubbing together as i walk in heels or feel my earings dangle it all just feels so right and if it wasn't for the children and grandkids and a life time of living as a male in a small town making it almost impossible i think i could live as a women very easily because i very much at peace with myself dressed in femme.I know clothes don't make the women but it sure feels that way sometimes.

Michelle

[Katesback]

I always knew a lot of CDs were actually TS, LOL.

Seriously though, most TS people never transition for 1000 reasons or excuses (depending upon how you look at it).

I have a question. Why do you think you cannot live your dream? You mentioned small town and kids. Ummmm do you think that you would be the first Trans person to come out and live thier life as they see fit? If I recall Stu Rasmussen is a CD and mayor of Silverton Oregon. He apparently has made it! What makes you different?

I got news for you babe. A ton of people have come before you and succeeded!! If you say you cannot be who you are then it is YOU that have defeated yourself and you are caving to your percieved expectations that society is demanding upon you!

Katie

[Karren H]

Its always the "butts" that get ya... If I didn't have anything to tie me down I would probably go full time or at least part time.. Might be fun for a while..

[AKAMichelle]

As you age for some reason the pendulum swings on the TG spectrum. You will find ups and downs in your journey, but never say that you can't. Everybody can live their dreams. So go out and live your dreams.

[Michelle 51]

Its always the "butts" that get ya... If I didn't have anything to tie me down I would probably go full time or at least part time.. Might be fun for a while..

Thats the problem Karen.A skirt and slip sliding across panties on ones" butt" that got me here in the first place lol.I think part time when a girl retires would be nice.

Michelle

[Rianna Humble]

Its always the "butts" that get ya... If I didn't have anything to tie me down I would probably go full time or at least part time.. Might be fun for a while..

I don't think I've ever been tied down by my butt :heehee: Unfortunately, I did have to delay fulfilling my dream because of other constraints, but I'll soon be completely free of those and my diabetes nurse has recommended a doctor who will be able to help me. I can't say how good it feels to already have a health professional who knows.


When I dress fully as a woman and feel my skirt slide around on my slip when I sit or my nylons rubbing together as I walk in heels or feel my earrings dangle it all just feels so right and if it wasn't for the children and grand-kids and a life time of living as a male in a small town making it almost impossible I think I could live as a woman very easily because I am very much at peace with myself dressed in femme.

Michelle, I understand how it can seem that these are all mountains to climb, but please remember that you also have the right to be happy. Your family will probably surprise you and your neighbours might either accept you or dress up with white sheets and hoods :eek: but most likely they'll just ignore you.

[Chickhe]

Sometimes I feel that way, but it is most often when I am alone and totally neglecting everything else.... I often wonder if CDing is just an escape mechanism...If I was to fully live the female role then would it really male a huge difference? or just a permanent vacation? ...but it sure feels nice to visit

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno. Without all of the "glitter" being a gal is just like being another human being methinks. Being interactive and having positive people skills play a bigger part in being a woman than anything else really.:)

[kellycan27]

Pink fog?

[Teri Jean]

Michelle, you are about my age and there comes a time where we all look at our desires differently. For me it was to transition but for someone else it is not. Let your heart answer the question and then arrange your life accordingly. Life is short and you need to be happy.

Teri

[Freddy12]

YOU have to decide what you are going to do. We girls here often urge individuals on when that's not what the person being advised really wants. You must decide what your path will be. The consequences are yours to deal with. I will support you no matter what you decide.

[AllieSF]

I think that Kelly may be right. In my opinion a MtF TS, someone who is a woman inside, probably does not have all those special feelings and enjoyment of having that loose skirt or dress slip and slide over nylons. For them, it is not really about the clothes. Not being a TS I cannot speak from experience though. Maybe because you are further along in life, more mature, more settled in regular life, the sexual part of dressing has gone and now you just enjoy the dressing part.

[Karren H]

Pink fog?

Yeah.... Or altzheimers... Its hell getting old. Forgeting what gender your supposed to be or were yesterday! Just have to figure out how to get all male thoughts pushed out of long term memory into short term...

My wife says I'm usually living in a dream world... That's pretty close enough to fog...

[DinaMature]

Sometimes I feel that way, but it is most often when I am alone and totally neglecting everything else.... I often wonder if CDing is just an escape mechanism...If I was to fully live the female role then would it really make a huge difference? or just a permanent vacation? ...but it sure feels nice to visit


I have to echo this sentiment... when my mind is silent from all else, then the girl in me is so ready to rule my world. However, if I give any focus to the demands of RL, she gets awfully hard to hear and her wants are so very hard to accommodate.

[Nicole Erin]

Important thing is to live as you see fit.

Being CD, TV, TS or whatever is a state of mind.
I mean you have everything from TV who like to "play" in private in lingerie to full time CD's who don't transition but dress pretty much 24/7 (Virginia Prince anyone?).
You have TS who are content with merely coming to grips to those who fully transition.

Somewhere on the gender spectrum, something should work for your taste.

Me, I want to transition, working on it, but I hate dresses and skirts. I feel I am too old for jean skirts, but other skirts are too business-like or matronly. My opinion. I do have one particular article of clothing that I lust about, but that is not my reason for being TG.

You cannot let others dictate who you are or want to become.

[msniki48]

Its always the "butts" that get ya... If I didn't have anything to tie me down I would probably go full time or at least part time.. Might be fun for a while..


Karren, I find it amazing how life manages to get in the way of living :sad:



maybe someday!!!:daydreaming:

:hugs:

[jenna_woods]

I agree, myself I could live full time as a women,

[sherri52]

It's a tough world we live in and a tough life that we lead as CD's. Should you decide to take the trip in transition, good luck

[kellycan27]

Seems more like a statement of fact rather than a strong desire to do so.

[docrobbysherry]

Would I want to have to dress this way EVERY DAY?

Then, the erotic, excited feeling could soon be replaced by, " Oh no! I've got to do ALL THAT PREP WORK, just to buy a few groceries?":doh:

I DON'T THINK SO!:brolleyes:

[bredalee25]

It costs alot of money to transition thats what keeps alot of us from doing it.

Medical insurance won't pay for those operations at least mine won't.

I don't know how my wife would react if I told her I wanted to get it removed and reformed into female genitalia. I think that woulde be the straw that breaks the camels back. I'm happy she lets me dress around her.

She's a gem she has never had a problem with it never once has she told me to slow down or take a break from dressing. Picture this I go to bed in a sexy nightie she wears boxers and a t-shgirt go figure

[crystalann]

Well? All my life I just wanted to be right, and for me that was or should I say female. Now that I transitioned the in and outside are the same. If someone could have removed all of the feelings of female within my brain that would have been ok to, but this was the only way to be happy in my own body. Best of luck :2c:

[Blaire]

Pink fog?


Alzhiemers

Age-related reduction in testosterone production, coupled with a sexually based CD nostalgia?

[suchacutie]

I can totally understand that desire to be a woman...but!. My but is that I want both. I really enjoy being masculine. Tina is approaching her 5-year anniversary, and as I have come to know her, I like her a lot. She was always there but we just didn't know her, but now that we do she is here to stay!

So, I want both genders and my only problem is working out how to be able to slip back and forth smoothly. Tina needs a life and we're slowly understanding what that life is, but now she needs time to grow into it and real life just gets in the way. Working for a living is essential since we all enjoy eating and having a home over our heads, so Tina has to find her way in the world more slowly that we might like, but we'll work it out!

Yes, being a woman....but. Slowly we'll make it so there is not but!

tina

[NathalieX66]

When I retire, I plan on being an artist, sice I have an artistic backround, so in essence I have no plan on fully retiring. I don't like the idea of rotting way & atrophying phyisically & spiritually.
Therefore I want to set up shop in a semi-tropical place and become Nathalie full-time or part-time, I can't answer that question now which way to go. But by then,I will have nothing to lose.

[NathalieX66]

When I retire, I plan on being an artist, since I have an artistic backround, so in essence I have no plan on fully retiring. I don't like the idea of rotting way & atrophying phyisically & spiritually.
Therefore I want to set up shop in a semi-tropical place near a beach, and become Nathalie full-time or part-time, I can't answer that question now which way to go. But by then,I will have nothing to lose.

[sandra-leigh]

i think i could live as a women very easily because i very much at peace with myself dressed in femme.I know clothes don't make the women but it sure feels that way sometimes.

My gender therapist, who knows that I dither about what I "really" am, asked me one session, "If you had to choose between living the rest of your life with only male clothes, or only female clothes, which would you choose?"

And for all of my uncertainty and doubts, I could immediately answer "Female clothes!"

But there is a difference between wearing female clothes, and going the whole wig and makeup and shoes and voice and name change deal. I haven't worn much other than female clothes and (previously purchased) unisex clothes for close to four years. I wouldn't have any internal issues with having to always wear female clothes (and forms) in public; I have a constraint, of course, about how my wife would deal with that. I'd love to wear skirts and dresses to work. The main reason I don't go more obvious than I already have, is not for fear of "people making my life hard": rather the main reason is I know my management is really busy trying to keep the place running on a shoe-string, and the management would get upset about the two or three days-equivalent of disruption before setting down again.

Just like I cannot write a letter to the editor on any issue that touches important political policies: it isn't that there is a law about it (provided I don't claim to speak on behalf of my organization), but since my name is nearly unique in Canada, if I were to actually say anything, it would quickly be tracked back to me in the workplace context, and political pressure would be brought to bare to muzzle or fire me. The local leadership could probably turn that kind of thing aside once by citing the law, but the cost would be bad against the organization as a whole.

Thus, I have to read between the lines and take the part of discretion. Is this within my rights? Yup, sure. Is it within the rights of political masters to choose to take away our money and influence? Yup, sure.

[Lynn Marie]

Ever tried reloading ammunition or cleaning your guns in a skirt. Somehow, it just doesn't feel right. I like the balance beween the two. Sometimes I'm her and sometimes I'm him. I'm confident and like myself in both genders. Maybe it's age, I'm just not questioning myself that much anymore.

[CarmemStrike]

Well the only things that i got to say is, baby Make your dream real...
Isn't good to live an dream's world, in the end of your life you ll look behind and say "why not did this or that".
Now i can't be a complete woman, may be an day, may be never, but today i have 20 year old.
I want do somethings that as TS i cannot do now.(or ll be hardest =p)

[~Michelle~]

Personally I think that the need to be a woman shouldn't be based on just the urge of wearing female clothing only.

My long time urge to be a woman has ZERO to do with clothing.

[Madeleine StClair]

I can totally understand that desire to be a woman...but!. My but is that I want both. I really enjoy being masculine. Tina is approaching her 5-year anniversary, and as I have come to know her, I like her a lot. She was always there but we just didn't know her, but now that we do she is here to stay!

So, I want both genders and my only problem is working out how to be able to slip back and forth smoothly. Tina needs a life and we're slowly understanding what that life is, but now she needs time to grow into it and real life just gets in the way. Working for a living is essential since we all enjoy eating and having a home over our heads, so Tina has to find her way in the world more slowly that we might like, but we'll work it out!

No fair! I was gonna say that!

I feel I have a very androgynous personality. A few years back I took an online version of a test that's supposed to gauge your fe/maleness ... called something like COGITO? My result was smack in the middle. I realize you have to take those tests with a grain of salt, but that result really resonated with me. If you consider the things I like to do ... I like to tinker with machinery. And I like to watch "chick flicks"--at least well-made ones, but they don't make me cry. I don't like to watch sports or go hunting, and I also don't like shopping for its own sake. Et cetera. Mostly enjoy more gender-neutral activities like making music, photography, cooking, reading.

And over the last couple of years I have occasionally thought about whether I wanted to live as a woman, and I always said, "No, but I'd like to be able to switch back and forth. If I could. But I can't." Until, finally I said "Why the hell can't I?" Maybe it's pretend, but it sure feels real at times. And I'm now more sure than ever that that's the right answer for me.

I'm also noticing that since coming to terms with crossdressing, I am much more comfortable in my everyday male persona. I guess I'm okay with being a man, as long as I don't have to do it all the time.

[gemsay32]

I think that Kelly may be right. In my opinion a MtF TS, someone who is a woman inside, probably does not have all those special feelings and enjoyment of having that loose skirt or dress slip and slide over nylons. For them, it is not really about the clothes. Not being a TS I cannot speak from experience though. Maybe because you are further along in life, more mature, more settled in regular life, the sexual part of dressing has gone and now you just enjoy the dressing part.

I agree. A woman doesn't get turned on by those clothes, she just wears them because that's what females wear. If you get turned on by it, you're probably just "someone" having an adventure with something feminine. As you age, your sexual drive wanes. So maybe he's confusing that with gender identity or something. I don't know. This isn't black and white. I could easily be wrong. I also have a chip on my shoulder because i sometimes use female clothes for sexual release, and absolutely do not want to be a woman, in fact, female clothes are much better on females than on me.

I'm not a man's man though so I don't have any room to speak about this. Maybe he's right in some way.

I've seen some studies linking gay men with the brains of hetero woman and lesbians with the brains of hetero men. And, oddly enough, lesbians also tend to have a fetish for shiny smooth clothing. That's exactly what I have. I am hetero male. Hetero woman do not get a sexual response from wearing female clothes like some lesbians or males do. I do not know if normal hetero men are this way, perhaps there's an area between woman and men where this fetish resides. I'd also like to relate another thing I've found. Gay men tend to have a fetish for leather and muscles. This fetish is also assocated with some hetero woman. Interesting isn't it. So maybe some normal hetero men do like shiny smooth clothing. Or perhaps woman who have a fetish for leathers and muscles are not the norm for woman. The reason I ask is because I am not exactly a man's man. I'm kind of weak by a man's standards. Not strong with a capital S. That's why I think of some kind of middle area between man and woman where some of these fetishes exist. If you can show me a sufficient sample of manly men who're strong in every definition of the word (no metro-sexuals allowed) and also have a fetish for shiny smooth clothing, then perhaps I am wrong and am simply extrapolating from my own narrow experiences.

I have one potential explanation for the idea that there's an area between woman and men where these fetishes are. A weak man has a deficit. His body is not as manly as it could be. So he compensates by adjusting his desires only halfway to woman, and the rest is targeted on a fetish like shiny smooth clothing. Hypothetically, woman who also feel deficient in some way will adjust their desires in the same manner. In this sense, fetishes compensate for a debt in the body. If you have a debt, it's more difficult to compete for the opposite sex, and thus to fulfill desire. Do you understand? So the bar has to be lowered or adjusted in some way so you can successfully reach fulfillment. In my case, perhaps I lowered my expectation of a female by putting more emphasis on shiny smooth clothing, thus making fulfillment more attainable in my particular circumstances. Of course, i do not know how this would relate to lesbians and gays. How would they feel deficient? Perhaps I have not very well defined debt. Maybe it could be mental, or multi-dimensional. This is just an idea I thought up while making this post. So don't sit and think about it for hours and hours or make a big rebuttal.

[Gerrijerry]

Since I talked with my wife about dressing more when I retire. I found out that she felt it was simple. we can move to another place where we start retired live and I dress full time. But in no way can I live that way where we live now. Now it is never where her friends can see me. She also stated "you will dress as a woman 24/7 so people always see you that way. (No games today I do tommorrow I don't. That she felt would be to hard to deal with). What others say does have an effect on wives. So from my wifes point of view it is simple you dress full time so others see you as a woman all the time or don't do it around my friends where I have to explain all the time.

[suchacutie]

Madeleine, reading your response gave me a huge smile. Especially the chick flicks....I can't stand them in masculine mode! Really! But Tina has such fun watching them with my wife as girlfriends! It's gotten more and more that Tina has her own projects and books. If I don't have "tina time" for a while I start to miss these parts of my life, and then realize that it is Tina that I miss and that these parts are HER life.

This is a really strange adventure, but it's one heck of a good ride!!! So not only does part of me want to be feminine, it seems that part of me has already become Tina, and that part is growing...slowly, but growing.

[NathalieX66]

Madeleine, Try duality. ....as my black swithbox below indicates. Take that route as far as you can until you decide that you don't need both channels. That's how I'm doing it.
Why give up either if both makes you happy? ...just sayin. :drink:

[kimdl93]

I find that as I get older I am much more comfortable dressed en femme than in my male stuff. it seemed the key moment was when the last child left the house...and the freedom that allowed. I still move between m/f but spend the majority of my time at home en femme. Now if I could just get out of the house and out into the world - love to just go shopping and have lunch with my wife...like one of the girls.

[Angie G]

If you could you can Michelle. Think about it hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Stephenie S]

Personally I think that the need to be a woman shouldn't be based on just the urge of wearing female clothing only.

My long time urge to be a woman has ZERO to do with clothing.

A bit of wisdom from a junior member.

Being a woman has NOTHING to do with the clothes.

If the clothes turn you on, just wear 'em. But DON'T ever make the mistake of thinking you want to be a woman because you like the feeling of nylon clad legs rubbing against your slip. That ain't what it's all about by a LONG shot.

Stephenie

[maggiecdva]

As I have gotten older (Turned 50 in December) I want to live more and more as a woman full time (if not transition). I think it also has to do with my metastic colon cancer.

I sometimes think that my male side is the one with cancer and the Maggie side is the one that is cancer free. Silly I know.

hugs - maggie