crossdressing=pedophilia?

[vetobob9]

My brother thinks cross dressing is proof that people are pedophiles. :(
Ironically he made the same claim about gays when his girlfriend dumped him for another girl. So he hates all gays and thinks all gays are perverts who molest children.
I think the reason he thinks that, is that he spent too much time hanging out with gang members and street thugs.

He found the dress in my closet and now he is comparing cross dressing to the worst crime in America. I cannot reason with him because he is very narrow minded because of the culture and type of people he chooses to hang out with.

He is demanding an explanation and I honestly do not feel that I owe him one. Except to tell him he is 100% wrong.

Then he says, "Homeboys in the hood don't do that stuff. Only perverts wear women's clothes."

I responded, "I'm not from the hood and I'm not a homeboy."

You just can't argue with a person who is a narrow minded bigot.

To make matters worse, he broadcasted my business to the entire family and the whole apartment complex. He's at a club now and probably broadcasting it there too.

[Sarah_GG]

I'm sorry you're having this response... and from your own family too. How old are you? Can you move on to where people are more accepting of you. I guess this is one reason that many CDers are driven under ground and forced to be secretive. It sounds like he's too dumb to be educated so I don't know how you handle this situation.

Just be careful :)

[stephanie100]

I think he is outing you which could lead to trouble for you. as for this hood boy stuff that kind of mindset only gets them in trouble with either the law or others of the same mindset. we call them nuckle draggers. sorry as he is your brother hope he dont live with you.:hugs:

[gemsay32]

If he's telling other people, he obviously either: a) doesn't understand that other people will harass you now b) wants them to hurt you in some way. I hope that doesn't happen, but if you're a teen, something like that could easily happen. Look out for yourself, and try to reassure your brother that you're still his brother and can do guy things. Right now I think he's associating you with bad things in his life and weakness. That's why he's separating himself from you and making you a target. You need to show him you're not weak and that you're like him.

Peace. Just remember, you're not what they say unless you believe it.

[Freddy12]

It is almost impossible to reason with individuals who are closed minded. There are a variety of ways people get that way, but the bottom line is that they are not using reason to consider or arrive at conclusions. When someone does not use reason to arrive at a conclusion, it is difficult to change their mind by reasoning with them.

I hope that his outing you will not cause too many problems, but I don't see an easy way out for you.

Best of luck in a difficult situation.

[Satrana]

So long as his ego revolves around being machismo in gang culture you have no hope of getting through to him. In gang culture you are beyond contempt and your life has no value.

I am no expert on gangs but I know they often require their members to attack, rob and sometimes kill people they despise as a means of gaining status in the gang. The members have no choice but to carry out the ordered hit. If he is spreading this information around you may become a target. You need to be very careful and consider moving away asap.

[Elizabeth 66]

I don't know anything about American gang culture, but what i can tell you is: there is no greater hit to a man's sexual ego than to have you girlfriend leave you because she is gay. He will be feeling sexually inadequate, so him finding this dress has given him an opening to question our sexuality rather than face up to his own.

The problem is that he seems so narrow minded, and unreasonable that your only option may be to move to another area if you are able! You never mentioned though how your family reacted, if you can get a positive reaction from one of them, maybe you could get them to talk to your brother, without more information it is hard to advise further.

take care and my thoughts are with you.

[gabimartini]

From what I've seen in life, bigots are the ones who carry the darkest secrets. What is his? Do you know?

[RADER]

My Grand Mother once told me; " You can Chose your Friends, But not your
Relatives" I think she was correct.
Sorry for your problems at home. Lets hope there is no repercussions over
the issue, Like his buddies come back to "Teach You A Lesion" Rader

[Priscillia Smith]

I understand where you're coming from. I am lucky to have some family members that understand my "dressing up." Unforunately there are some family members that I haven't told because of the same connection to "pedofilia and perversion." The person that I've had to sit down and explain this to was my wife, who thought the same exact thing as your brother. It's taken years of trying to explain that I am not a pedo or a pervert. As for your brother, he really needs to grow up and realize that he's being a douche.
Good luck and I hope all works out.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Do not underestimate that kind of ignorance.

I guess if a man molests a young girl, then that is proof that all straight men are pedophiles..but logic will not help youmuch here.

are you young? I am honestly a bit concerned for your well being..none of us have any real idea of your circumstances but you need to consider really watching yourself around him and his friends, don't confront anyone at this point..

[Gerrijerry]

He will make it bad for you. If your family feels the same way you have a major problem. Also him being a gang member is bad news for many reasons. Not the least is that you could become a target. Since your family already has been told. tell them about the fact that you could be hurt by what he is doing. If they don't want to help then please call some one for help. try the GBLT group near you. if you can move then I would just do that and start in another place with friends who will accept you.

[TxKimberly]

You are so right - some people can't be reasoned with.
In my travels I have been privileged to meet a LOT of TG's and I wish he could know a few of them. All of them I have met that have families are extremely protective and loving of their children and grandchildren. God help anyone I ever come across who would hurt or molest a child. There are very few things that I think violence is an acceptable response for but that one is at the top of the list.

[suit]

The only responce i could think of is that of phyon ~ the witch and what weighs more a duck ,a duck floats so?
their for she sinks and must be a witch ? hows that go again ?
If he has any sence of bad logic run that line by him ,see if you can short his crossed wires .

[BRANDYJ]

The day the general population believes cross dressing is related to child molestation, is the day I can and will purge...for good! How stupid can your brother be?
There is nothing on earth that angers or upsets me more then those that molest or abuse children.
Your brother is a fool. A fool for thinking this way and a fool to be associated with gangs or gang types.

I have a brother that is also a fool. he is a religious fanatic and has disowned me for my cross dressing. Stupid can't be fixed.

[Frédérique]

My brother thinks cross dressing is proof that people are pedophiles.
Ironically he made the same claim about gays when his girlfriend dumped him for another girl. So he hates all gays and thinks all gays are perverts who molest children.
I think the reason he thinks that, is that he spent too much time hanging out with gang members and street thugs.

Yeah, it’s called BIGOTRY. Look within, dear brother, and see thy shame…:sad:

How did your brother come up with a connection between crossdressing and pedophilia? Huh? Who told him that? I’m sure he didn’t come up with that one himself. You are who you hang out with, I say. Using my own powers of reasoning, I will now safely declare that your brother is incredibly stupid. Actually, that is a FAIR assessment, based on the evidence you have provided in the OP…


He found the dress in my closet and now he is comparing cross dressing to the worst crime in America. I cannot reason with him because he is very narrow minded because of the culture and type of people he chooses to hang out with.

Well, I don’t want to get into another argument with my "fellows," but I KNOW what the worst crime in America is, and it has nothing at all to do with crossdressing. The worst crime comes about as a result of the “disease” outlined in part 1 of this response (see above). Since you’re a more enlightened individual, based on your wardrobe alone, you should think about an intervention on your brother’s behalf – whether he is worthy of this benevolence is up to you, the one he SHOULD be hanging out with. IMHO…:straightface:

[JazmyneCD]

Pedophilia? Really? Man, this guy needs to wake up or something. That's the first time I've ever heard that (although I've heard the "CDs are weirdos" argument time and again).

Like someone said, his ego is hurt since his girl left him for another girl. He just finds you an easy target now and being he hangs out with the tough-guy crowd, there's no changing his mind about this. Ignorance tends to run in groups.

Best of luck to you. I hope everything turns out fine :hugs:

[Nicole Erin]

He will grow out of it, cause really, gang members end up either dead or in prison.
For reasoning, yeah it is not possible to argue with people like that, they want to be ignorant.

[Patti Remick]

It is so comforting to know that gang members and street thugs are not perverts...Sheesh


Patti Remick

[Stephenie S]

If his response to being dumped by his girlfriend is that SHE was a pedophile, and his response to finding out that you occasionally wear a dress is that YOU are a pedophile, it sounds to me like HE is harboring some innate fears of his OWN behavior that HE may be a pedophile.

Often those who are afraid of their own behavior see it in others.

Stephie

[kimdl93]

From what I've seen in life, bigots are the ones who carry the darkest secrets. What is his? Do you know?

I entirely concur with Gabi on this. There's no reality at all to that nonsense pedophile crap and for him to be outing you is just reprehensible. You have to wonder what he's got going on in his head!

[eluuzion]

You know the saying...

Never argue with an idiot.

I can only tell you (hypothetically) what I might do if I was in that situation, (which I never will be).

I would make sure that I was never standing close to him when cars drive by.

[carolinoakland]

When I thought I was a cd, I tended to shy away and be very standoffish with TS's. I was afraid they would see in my that which I couldn't admit to myself. I was afraid. And I regret all the wonderful women that could have influenced me in a positive way if I hadn't been afraid. So now when ever someone is actively anti trans I put my fingers to the side of my face and say "Hmmmm, I wonder....?" I think that you do indeed challenge things that he doesn't want to admit about HIMSELF. But yeah, if you are old enough and can afford to .... GET OUT. I think that beyond the threat that you probably could do with a little freedom in your life. Carol

[sterling12]

You can't do much of anything for Your Brother. You seem to be reasonably intelligent, somehow "thinking" doesn't really seem to be one of his attributes.

But, that's not important right now! If he blabs everything to everybody in The Neighborhood, if he informs some of his Brain-Challenged Peeps, YOUR going to become a Target! People fear what they don't understand. If they have low self-esteem, they often start looking for a victim(s) that they can label as something even more unworthy than themselves. Quite often, these types of thoughts beget Violence!

You are at very high risk! Don't assume that he won't, or that his "Buds" won't do anything! In a split second, it can all escalate into a very bad scenario! You need to remove yourself. I wish I could think of a better solution, but it doesn't occur to me. I'm not even sure if you could get Police Protection, and I doubt if it could possibly be a 24/7 solution.

I'll reinterate...."Your at very high risk right now!" Don't take a chance. If you think "He won't do that," you could be Dead Wrong! Take a Vacation, Move, Be Gone!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Stephanie Anne]

Your brother has a little confusion where he thinks everything not straight and narrow is pedophilia?

Now if you like to get dressed up in mother goose style petticoats and lead small children around, he might be right. I would also be creeped out by that.

Since I doubt you like little boys, I would say either beat him up as that is what brothers do when one of them is being a "tard" or just keep doing your thing and hope he comes around. If not, that is his problem.

Please note: There is a slight tint of sarcasm in my above comment and I apologize to everyone who likes petticoats but not to those who like little children in a bad way :D

[Sarah Doepner]

If you can get your brother to listen for a moment remind him that he has put your health in danger based on a limited understanding of what he sees. Did he think in that one moment that all the years of love and support in the family could evaporate? Let him know that he is wrong in his assumption and if anything bad happens to you it is his doing. Don't argue with him, just lay out the facts.

Then you need to look for alternative living arrangements if possible. I would be very worried to live in an active gang neighborhood where the members of that gang didn't like me.

[Hope]

My brother thinks cross dressing is proof that people are pedophiles.

Congratulations. You have an idiot for a brother. Unfortunately, there is no cure for stupid, you either put up with it or you discontinue your contact with the infected person. I always recommend the second option.


Ironically he made the same claim about gays when his girlfriend dumped him for another girl. So he hates all gays and thinks all gays are perverts who molest children.

Actually, research shows that those who are most homophobic harbor the deepest homoerotic feelings. He hates gays because he has homoerotic feelings himself and he is living with the shame and the inability to suppress those feelings. His lashing out in this way is his way of diverting homoerotic attention (temptation) away from himself, and a means of suppressing his own urges.

If I were you, considering that a lot of his ranting seems to be about pedophilia, I wouldn't trust him around kids.


I think the reason he thinks that, is that he spent too much time hanging out with gang members and street thugs.

And, you know, because he is gay. And in the closet, and lacks the emotional maturity to recognize it in himself, and lacks the community support to be honest about it.


He found the dress in my closet and now he is comparing cross dressing to the worst crime in America. I cannot reason with him because he is very narrow minded because of the culture and type of people he chooses to hang out with.

So don't try to reason with him.

The reason you can't reason with him is because this isn't an issue of logic and reason. This is an emotional issue.

Also recognize that in his mind you are an "abomination" and as an abomination you have 0 influence on him. Anything you say will be understood as a lie or wrong or an attempt to recruit him to your "perverse" "lifestyle."


He is demanding an explanation and I honestly do not feel that I owe him one. Except to tell him he is 100% wrong.

You don't owe him an explanation. But that won't prevent him from hurting you.


To make matters worse, he broadcasted my business to the entire family and the whole apartment complex. He's at a club now and probably broadcasting it there too.

Yeah - you should probably not be living with this guy. I certainly wouldn't live with some one who has shown himself to be untrustworthy, oblivious to the needs of others, mentally incompetent, emotionally unstable and violent. That is a tragedy looking for a reason to happen, and your "disgusting perversion" may just be that reason.

Seriously. bail. now.

[stefanie]

okay...let me start off with your brother is a short sighted knucklehead ....so enough of that now.....

I have found is that he is putting you in the defensive and well, quite frankly, you will not be able to stand his attacks and viewpoint. If you attack back by being further insulting, he will most likely become further hostile and well, perhaps spread even more. He is trying to shock you, egg you on, make you the victim given his own insecurity.

Sometimes the best response instead of trying to defend what he does not understand is simply by stating how you feel....eg mean, sad, sorry to hear that he feels that way, disappointed in him, ...this moves it away from the dressing and makes it human again.

good luck

[paulaW]

WTF?

Sorry, I got nothing. I've never heard of that before, and find it quite ignorant.

[Tanya83]

That is horrible and I hope someone talks some sense into him.
Really can't make that kind of false accusation in this day that's for sure.

[Lover girl]

I'm also no expert on gangs. They do have a collective mentality. They react to anything they don't understand. I have never heard any link to crossdressing people being pedophiles. Crossdressing is more like a statement of who you are as a person!!! Pedophiles are just plain sick in the head. I've never heard of any link to gays being pedophiles either. Your brother is out of his mind with statements like that. I also have a brother that thinks like your brother does. He's not part of any gang. My brother thinks that transgender and gays are sick in the head. He also thinks that Hitler had the right Idea but just went about it the wrong way. I don't listen to people that talk so stupid!!! Pedophiles need to be in prison. CD's gay's and lesbian's need to be accepted for who they are....Good People

Be very careful with this. Get out of there if you can. I pray for your safety and well being. Please keep us posted on your status with your life and your brothers stupidity. God bless you!!!!!!!!!!

[Stormgirl]

I read all the comments and what I wanted to say has pretty much been said already.

Get out there! Eject! Eject! Eject!

Good luck and keep us apprised with the situation.

[sherri52]

outed by your brother and he is in the hood. One thing though, you are less likely to go to jail than he is. Can't do anything about him telling the world, hope it all works out ok.
Sorry you had to go through it.

[docrobbysherry]

Your brother's a lost cause! Forget about educating him!:thumbsdn:
It's the OTHER neaderthals I'm worried about!:eek:

What if he tells someone, or THAT person tells someone that is carrying a grudge against "perverts"?

Have u considered that u may be in DANGER, Bob!?:straightface:

[Amanda Styles]

It sounds to me like your brother has far more problems than his brother with a dress in the closet.
Gang members and street thugs, sheesh, he must be a real moron, hence his screwed up ideas about crossdressing equals pedophile.
I tend to think he is lashing out because he is feeling sexually inadequate due to his loss of a girlfriend to another female.
As for an explanation... he deserves none, tell him to fix his own problems first.
I assume you both live under the same roof, so I am confused about the homeboy and hood references.
Maybe he just wants to think his middle class neighborhood classifies as the hood, and it makes him feel
more macho to call himself a homeboy.
I think he has a lot of problems to deal with and if he really is a gangbanger and not just a wannabe you probably will not have to put up with his closed mindedness for long.

Good Luck,
Amanda

[vetobob9]

My sister has also been telling me for a long while to move. I regret that I cannot currently do that. I have couple more weeks before I graduate from a cal state university. after that I need to find work and I've been asking my sister about the prospects where she is because she said I should move to her state, Texas.
The other thing is, I'm a leader in my community and I'm organizing the city's first 4th of July Marathon. Not to mention i frequently attend city council meetings, but never in drag (is that the correct word?).
I do political analysis and consulting.

My other sister is into SDM and when she said so, he went after her. That was five months ago. LOL

More info: I live in an area that is currently under a gang injunction. A year ago one gang member shot and killed another member in front of my gate while children were playing barely 4 feet away.

[t-girlxsophie]

Sorry,but clearly your Brother isn't destined for a long life on this planet,If
his views on Crossdressing are anything to go by,he is clearly Intolerant of
a lot of People,He only need repeat his loathesome views to the wrong person to get himself Into trouble

[Tracii G]

Well seeing you told him it was yours I assume is kinda bad I would have said it was a gift for a GF and you didn't want to wrinkle it so you hung it up.
Second thing I would get him alone and tell him to get off your back and apologize for being an ass.
Tell him you will unload all you know about his ex and how he couldn't perform sexually so she left him for a woman.
Then beat the living shit out of him.

[zoe m]

i´d say try to move out of there as soon as you finish school. and be careful!!! best of luck.

[Nicole Erin]

Tracii ain't kidding. :eek: If there is one set of toes here I would not step on, it would be Tracii's.

Now about gang members shooting each other, that is what you call "the trash taking itself out"

Thing is, your brother is just making an ass out of himself. Unless you yourself are involved in a gang, it is unlikely anyone will do anything. They might talk about it but probably not take any action. However, do be safe for the time being.

See, your brother doesn't realise this - with him being related to you, he is guilty by association, I mean doesn't he think people will give HIM crap as well?

It sucks when a true ass is one of our own family, but I guess all families have one in it.

[AmandaM]

Your brother has no deep secrets probably, he's just living in a hyper-masculine subculture where any hint of gayness/weakness/what-have-you is seen as "unmanly" and therefore unworthy of respect. It hurts him deeply that his brother is a freak. It cuts him to the core. He may never get over it. You have hurt him that much. But, he is hurt cause his perspective is messed up. He sees life thru his gang glasses. Until he wakes up, and decides family is more important that his gang or being "macho", you had best move in with your sister in a couple of weeks. Try to keep him at arms distance until then if that's what it takes. As he gets older, he may come around.

[Samantha_Smile]

Im sorry, what?
Crossdressing is proof that people are paedophiles now?
Crossdressing is the worst crime ever is it?
Homosexuals are paedophiles too, eh?

Im no psychologist, but your brothers fixation on paedophiles suggests to me that he's trying to label others as paedophiles to take the heat off himself. Does your brother hang out by the school gates a lot?

God damn, I feels so sorry for you having to share that gene pool. I dont want that to be insulting to you, because you obviously don't deserve it (at least as far as I can see), but your brother probably should have been a blowjob instead.
Sorry to be so graphic, but theyre my feelings.
I find it difficult to share a planet with crettins who seek to humiliate, degrade, persecute, discriminate or otherwise harm ANYBODY without serious provocation.
At the risk of sounding nieve and idealistic, can't we all just get along?

Seriously though, do you suspect that your brother might be into kids?

[siantv2003]

when family members have such a narrow minded view of the world and cannot be bothered to take the time to even try and understand what we go through as cross dressers - its even worse when they go and make stupid statements like this!

The point has already been made earlier in the posts but the best form of defence is attack - maybe your brother is hiding his own 'dark secret' which he cannot face and causes him to lash out like this - either that or he is just totally ignorant! Hopefully the former cos there not much that can be done for the latter

You take care of yourself and be careful - you've done nothing wrong

[Angiemead12]

wow thats terrible, I hope your ok! Im glad my brother is supportive of me and anything I do.

[Julezz]

"Go ahead and change the styles up, And if they hate then let them hate and watch the money pile in" -Kanye

I think he was talking about sunglasses...same difference

[giuseppina]

Hello Vetobob

Your brother does not sound like a positive influence at this time, and where you live seems unsafe.

You would be well advised to move to a safer place once you graduate.