I didn't MEAN to go shopping - Honest!!

[Kathi Lake]

No, really. I was taking a long lunch to run errands for my wonderful wife. She's going to a physicians conference tomorrow and is presenting a poster on some of her research. One of my errands was to get a travel tube for her posters since she travels a lot doing this kind of thing.

So, I hopped in my car, put on my new women's prescription sunglasses (cute!) and my ladies wedding set and I was off. After applying some gloss in the mirror, and freaking out the lady in the BMW next to me in the process (God, I love doing that! :)), I pulled up near the drafting supply store. It is downtown, so parking was a bear. I had to park a few blocks away. As I passed by a boutique I frequented, I told myself, "I am a strong person. I will not give into temptation and head in. Well, at least until after my wife's errands." :)

I headed into the drafting store and chatted with a few of the girls there. Nothing was said about my ring, although it's quite easy to tell when someone has noticed it. I picked up a tube, chatted about one girl's allergies and if Spring was ever going to come to Utah (my daughter got sunburned by 80-degree weather Saturday. It's snowing today), and other banter. I collected my tube and left.

I walked down the street and into Slavy's. As the name suggests, the owner is Slavic. I think she's from the Czech Republic or Belarus. Anyway, Slavy greeted me by name and said it had been a long time since she had seen me, asked how my work was, and other chit-chat. I told her that I was moving, and all of my girl stuff was in storage. She said that that must be painful for me as she could tell how much fun I had and how much peace that dressing brought me. She said, "To me, you are a beautiful woman - I don't care what your body is. You have the soul of an elegant, peaceful woman." Wow. Aren't salespeople great? :)

Well, I couldn't just leave after that, could I? She told me that she had just gotten in some new stuff, and had some great sale items. She took me over to the rack and I saw a cute top that I had tried on before and a nice skirt. I also saw a gorgeous dress! It was a deep red sheath with black chains cascading down along the front. I moaned, "I wish I could wear stuff like that!" She said, "Don't we all! Actually, with a nice sweater to hide your arms, it would look fabulous on you. You have the wonderful skinny body and legs for it. The rest of us have to wear it as a tunic with some leggings to hide our big fat legs." :)

We went on, looking at other pretty items (lots of stunningly, heartbreakingly beautiful tops) and came to the jeans. She said that she had some DNA Denim jeans that would look great as they were made for girls without hips - "you know, the ones that starve themselves to look like you." She asked me what size and I asked her what was the smallest she had. She said, "27. And again, I hate you" and muttered something else in Czech or whatever. :)

I took those back with a few cute tops and went to the tryon room. While changing, I heard her door jingle a few times as other women come in. She was helping them and I came out to look in the mirror. One of the women laughed and said "Oh my god!" Slavy excused herself and took me by the hand to the mirror and told me to lift up the shirt up a bit to see how the jeans fit. Another woman (who didn't laugh) said, "Cute! Those fit you great. I wish I could fit into those!" "Laughing Girl" didn't say anything - just looked at me and went back to her shopping. Isn't it interesting the responses we get? Some women seem to feel threatened almost, as if we were dressing to "compete" it seems. Others simply see us as just another person who has discovered what they already knew - that women's clothes are fun! Some just don't know how to take it and how to react. Understandable, as we are kind of a rarity.

Well, the jeans were too short. As much as Slavy wanted to make a sale, she is not going to let me out of the door in something that doesn't look good. She apologized that they were too short, and said to keep the top I had on and see how it went with the skirt. I changed into the skirt and put on the shoes she had left for me. They were a pair of 3" open-toed slides. I opened the curtain and clicked on out to the mirror. She fussed with the sleeves of the top (I will never understand how dolman sleeves are supposed to sit. Maybe that part is inherently genetic, right ladies? :)). I didn't love the top, but the skirt was wayyyy cute! It is a black almost hobble skirt with a 3-inch ribbon of lighter material at the bottom that "floats" prettily as you walk. On a normal person, I'm sure that it's supposed to sit just below the knee. Due to my freakish legs, it sits about 1-2 inches above the knee. With my legs, I'm used to it. Slavy asked me why I stopped shaving my legs as they were one of my best features. I told her that my wife deserved some "man time" and I only shaved them in the Winter. She said that it was nice to care about my wife's feelings like that.

"Laughing Lady" kind of smirked and shook her head, but the other woman smiled at me and said, "Yeah. That's a keeper!" I thanked her and said that I knew the skirt was mine. Anything that fit me this well, was a definite yes. I told her that I needed another black skirt like I needed a hole in my head and she said she was the same way - she must have about 8-10 black skirts in different colors and fabrics and different "blacks" even, but was always on the lookout for more.

I changed back into my boring boy clothes and Slavy and I chatted for a few minutes more as I paid for the skirt. She told me to come by more often as she enjoyed talking with me and seeing me "looking all pretty and elegant."

Knowing that there was another boutique across the street, and that I was already bitten by the "girly" bug, I knew where my next stop was going to be. I will describe the events there in my next post.

Think about this, though: Can we categorize the different responses of women to us? I know that there have been a few posts lately on our experiences out - from A - ignoring us to B - accepting us to D - chasing after us with pitchforks and torches. I wonder if A is what we're really going for. Not that we're exhibitionists or anything, but I know that when I am dressed up that I do want to blend, but at the same time, I also do want to be noticed. As Dolly Parton said in my wife and I's favorite movie, Steel Magnolias, "It takes effort to look like this!" I put a lot of effort into being presentable. Whether or not I "pull it off" is open for debate, but I do at least try. What do you think?

Kathi

[Sarah Doepner]

Kathi,
Even for CD's like me (guys in girl clothes), most of the women either do not see us or ignore us as not a threat or even of interest. I've had some who express interest and are respectful and some who have to cover their laugh as they walk away. Until one of the latter decides to talk to me I'll never know what they think, although it might be interesting to find out. I'm afraid that maybe it would be the standard "what you do is creepy or wrong." You know, the knee jerk response with no thought behind it.

I am glad that you are keeping your shopping chops tuned up, even with things in storage. However, how are you going to deal with your new stuff? Are you going to store it or just start building a new "out of storage" wardrobe?

[t-girlxsophie]

My poor Missus,has a terrible time when we are out.I have just gotta have a wee peek in the Boutiques,when she wants to just go Grocery shopping lol,even then I have lost count of the number of bruises from shopping trolleys diverting me from the Clothing dept:heehee:
The "get one for you too dear" trick works a treat though:)

[Kathi Lake]

. . . how are you going to deal with your new stuff? Are you going to store it or just start building a new "out of storage" wardrobe?

I know. I was looking for a place to hide my jeans last night and again this morning. If this keeps up, I may need to take another box to the storage unit - or more likely get a bigger storage unit.

:)

I walked across the street - carrying a pink bag with my skirt wrapped in tissue paper. You know, although I love how the clothes look on me and feel on me, I just love the sound of tissue paper! It's like it's announcing to the world that "Hey, this person just bought something cute and girly enough to be wrapped in frilly paper!" Yeah. I know. I'm odd. :)

Anyway, I walked across the street to another fun boutique - Umé Designs. It used to be owned by a cute Asian lady, but she sold it about a year or so ago. The new owner is nice as well, but doesn't treat me like Umé used to - like a normal woman. Still, she is nice and will help me find stuff that is cute, but there is a bit of coldness. Pity.

The store was busy when I walked in. The owner was wearing a really cute gauzy tunic in pretty browns and golds over denim-looking leggings - a mistake on her part. Jeans would have worked better as her calves look like Popeye's (as a comedian once said, "Those aren't calves, those are cows!). I know. Mean. Sorry. :o

Anyway, I went to the back of the store to browse the consignment racks. They usually have some really pretty gently-used clothing and even some new items that have been modified by a lady who brings them in from Russia. She will tie-dye some items or add some lace or embroidery to "spice them up" a bit. I had started on the left and was working to the right of the rack. Another girl was going from right to left. We met in the middle and she said "Trade ya!" I laughed and said, "No problem! But if you already looked at this section, I doubt there's anything cute left for me." She noticed my ring and asked, "Are you shopping for your wife?" I told her that no, I was shopping for me. She looked puzzled for a second and then said, "You wear women's clothes? Well, that's fun!" I agreed that they were much more fun than men's clothes. She said, "You got that right. We're lucky! You're lucky that you don't have a problem with it. I had a boyfriend when I was 17 that liked to do it. It was fun! He made a great girl - he was honestly pretty - but I could never get him to go outside." I asked her what ever happened to him, pointing to her wedding ring. She said that no, they broke up and she married another guy. She patted her stomach and said, "That's why I'm a fat slob. I already caught my man. Now I don't need to starve myself anymore." I told her that it was nonsense, That she was beautiful and no bigger than a size 4. She said she wished she was a size 4 again, but those days were long gone.

Seeing nothing in the consignment racks, we moved on to the sale racks. We were still in our starting positions - me on the left of the rack and her on the right - though in this case, it was due to where the different sizes were on the rack. She saw me pull a pair of jeans out and said they were cute. Then she saw where I had taken them from and said with a sigh, "26?! OK, looks like I need to go back to starving myself again." I told her that she was beautiful, and that I was the genetic freak here. Unfortunately, the 26's were only 32 in length. She helped me look and we found a pair of 27's that were actually 34 inches. Yay! They were a pair of Mavi stretch denim mid-waist jeans - ones that actually may work in boy mode. That would be a bonus! She asked if I was going to try them on and said, "I gotta see this!"

I took them to the tryon rooms after grabbing the brown tunic and a dark brown cami. I had to wait for a room, since there were only two. There was a cute little blond in one trying on everything in the store, and a tall cool brunette in the other. The blond told me that she was still looking for stuff and I could use hr room, retrieved her purse and motioned for me to go in. I stripped off my boy clothes, put on the cami, the jeans and the pants and walked out to the mirror.

Unfortunately, the tunic was a no-go. Like most tops, it was just too short for my freakishly long torso. The bust hit me about two inches too high, even though it had a belt tie and I had tied it loosely. The owner agreed that it was pretty, but just didn't work. I lifted the tunic a bit to see the jeans and the little blond said, "My gosh, you have a cute butt - for a guy. I mean, for a girl. You know what I mean! I'm so short. I wish I had your lower body. Well, you know . . ." obviously thinking of some needed changes/deletions. :)

The girl that had been talking to me the most said that the jeans fit me like they were made for me, and that I had to get them, and wished that they would make jeans that fit her like that!" The brunette just kind of looked at me and went about her business. You could tell that she was having issues with me. That's so sad. I'm not hurting anyone, or changing the status quo. I'm just a guy that happens to not like dressing like one.

Anyway, I looked around the store for another top that would work, but the owner, who knows my style, couldn't find anything as most of the stuff in right now runs towards embellished T-shirts. Sigh. Ah well. I went back to the room to change so the little blond could return to her clothes tryon marathon (yes. I'm jealous). I left the room, and in a very gentlemanly way held the curtain open for her and ushered her in with a "Have fun!" She smiled and said "You too!"

I went up to the register where the brunette was buying a top. I told her it was very cute. It was a black tunic top with a bit of tie-dye around the gathered waist and a lace panel going halfway down the back. She smiled at me for the first time and thanked me and said it was cute. While I was waiting, the "chatty girl" and I were looking at earrings. She asked me why my ears weren't pierced as most of the cute earrings were for pierced ears. I said, "Don't I know it! Still, my wife doesn't want me to and I respect that. It doesn't stop me from looking, though." She said that it was sweet to respect my wife like that and said that she shouldn't be buying more earrings, but she was just too attracted to cute things. I agreed. The owner finished with the brunette and motioned for Chatty Girl to come up to the register but she said she was still looking and to let "this little cutie" go ahead. Please. Little Cutie. She was at most half my age. So, I got up to the register and looked at the price tag for the first time. Gulp!! $148.00! I forgot how much a thin little piece of denim could go for! The owner saw my expression and reminded me that they were on the sale rack. She did some punching on the calculator and said, "How does $31.82 - including tax sound?" I said for jeans that fit that well, I would be a fool not to get them. She agreed that they did fit nice, and told me of what some ladies said last time I was in. They had seen me try on various dresses, skirts and tops while I was there. When I left, one of them turned to the owner and said, "Well that's just not right. He looked better in those clothes than I ever could." I thanked and "oh shucks'd" her. Compliments are nice, aren't they? You know what? Sometimes they're nice to hear even if you're not sure if they were said, right? I mean, I don't want to take an unearned compliment, but then again, . . . :)

So, I left the store with yet another tissue-wrapped goody. For someone who wasn't planning on shopping, I think I did pretty well. I also was able to reinforce my belief that for the majority, people don't really care about us. Yes, there will be the people that just don't care for what we do - whether they see it as a threat or as a perversion. Those are the people that I feel we need to present to as best we can. They need to see that we are normal red-blooded american males - who happen to have a very interesting hobby.

Kathi

[Jannette H]

That sounds like a normal day for some of us. I make look and see stops on my way to pick up some groceries or any thing else my SO may want or need. There isn't anything that repels the girly bug I don't even try.

[Kristy 56]

Kathi,no one can describe a shopping trip like you can ! And you have so much fun doing it ! My closets full,but now I feel like going out shopping.

[AKAMichelle]

Having never met you before and only seen pictures - I think you pull it off rather well.

But I don't believe that you didn't mean to shop. :devil:

[Miranda09]

Kathi, you always have the greatest stories to tell about your interactions with all sorts of people. I would guess that the way they interact with you and compete with you is just how they interact and compete with each other. Hey, how about a few pics in your newly acquired booty?? :) Also, I really admire you in that you don't put yourself ahead of your wife and respect her wishes regarding your dressing. I think that's really cool, and your wife sounds like a gem. Your a lucky guy/girl!! ;)

[Kathi Lake]

I would guess that they way interact and compete with you is just how they interact and compete with each other.Hmmmm. Interesting. I assumed that men were ones soaked in testosterone and therefore would be the competitive ones. Still, I have seen women be competitive about some things, like trying to be the second-prettiest one in the room (they don't want to be the prettiest, because then you're the target of all).


Hey, how about a few pics in your newly acquired booty?? :)It's not new. I've always had this booty, small as it may be . . . Oh, wait. You mean my purchases! That will have to wait as my phone wasn't charged and I didn't carry a camera because I really, honestly hadn't planned on shopping. Yes, Michelle, you heard me! I didn't plan on it. Honest! :)


Also, I really admire you in that you don't put yourself ahead of your wife and respect her wishes regarding your dressing. I think that's really cool, and your wife sounds like a gem. You're a lucky guy/girl!! ;)You got me there. I am a lucky girl! My wife is wonderful! Do I get total support from her on my dressing? No. It's an area that she still struggles with. All I can do is try to be me, and affect her with my dressing the least amount that I can.

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

The big question, did you feel some tension release or was it just a normal, run of the mill stop? I suspect this was your longest non-shopping stretch in quite some time.

[Kathi Lake]

The big question, did you feel some tension release or was it just a normal, run of the mill stop? I suspect this was your longest non-shopping stretch in quite some time.Honestly? It was a mix of both. Shopping for women's clothes - even in drab - just seems kind of normal now. It's lost the adrenaline edge. Part of me is glad, but part of me misses it. My interactions with women while shopping seem so matter of fact. Pity. Sort of.

There was a bit of tension release. Since I haven't dressed all the way since early January (Sure. There was the "girl clothes and makeup plane trip" a few weeks ago), but the tension is still there. Yes, it has been my longest "dry spell" in over a year - about four months! Call me a spoiled trophy wife as my bank friends do, but I really really like shopping!

:)

Kathi

[Kathi Lake]

My reaction is to feel a little guilty for spurring you on with all that talk of bridesmaid dresses and shopping...

but I'm not sorry cause you had so much fun!Spoken like a typical woman! Honestly, does guilt just ooze out of you? I used to make fun of my wife for saying "sorry" all the time. Once I got after her for saying she was sorry, and she said she was sorry for saying sorry.

Worry not, talking about dresses and shopping is never a problem with me!

:)

Kathi

[Sara Jessica]

How fun Kathi!!! When we are being ourselves, a little retail therapy goes a long way. But seriously, you've had the girl boxed up for quite a while now, I bet you are eager to let her out again.

Loved your comment on the tissue wrap. You'd soooooo love my boutique. Purchases are wrapped up like little works of art and are a joy to carry out of the store. I thought I was the only one who saw such a simple thing in this way.

And what a deal on the jeans. NOTHING like a fab sale rack where you find something perfect, that speaks to your signature style, AND IT'S ON SALE!!!

[Tina B.]

Thanks Kathi, that was a great read, you write like a pro. Funny though, you have reminded me of one of the better parts of putting some weight on.
I always envy you skinny ones, but you have reminded me of the one problem I always had. Pants to short, sleeves to short, fit was so hard, I usually ended up at a large and tall shop and found a limited selection. since putting on a little weight (oh all right a lot of weight) the clothes actually fit better for me. It seems manufactures think if you get fat your arms and legs must get longer, because now in a 1X I can buy off the rack, and pant legs fit, sleeves go all the way to the wrist, and there is a lot more in large sizes than in tall sizes. So I will let you skinnies have all that cute tiny stuff, I guess at my age I was going to be dressed like an old woman anyway.
Tina B.

[Kathi Lake]

. . . you've had the girl boxed up for quite a while now, I bet you are eager to let her out again.Nah. Who needs dressing up? It's not like it's something I want to do, hunger to do, . . . need to do. Gulp! :)


You'd soooooo love my boutique. Purchases are wrapped up like little works of art and are a joy to carry out of the store. I thought I was the only one who saw such a simple thing in this way.Oh my, no!! One of my boutiques wraps them up like that - like it's a gift - which it is, to me. No Sara, you are not alone in your love of simple little touches that mean so much more. Things like that are a kind of externalization of the internal thought processes of the feminine mind - or so I think.


So I will let you skinnies have all that cute tiny stuff, I guess at my age I was going to be dressed like an old woman anyway.
Tina B.Tina, that is so true. We always want what we can't have, it seems. In my case, my lack of body fat makes me look more masculine. I don't have curves, I have angles.

:)

Kathi