Are you planning on coming out to S.O.?

[Kelli Ann]

This question mainly applies to us who are still closeted to our Wives. Are you palnning on coming out to your wife in the near future and if so, what do you think their immediate response will be.

As for me, I am planning on coming out to my wife soon mainly because I love my wife dearly. She is an absolute amazing woman, wife, and mother.

I believe that she suspects that I am a crossdresser because I kept my legs shaved all of last winter and she found one of my lingeries in my dresser drawer while searching for something. She thought that it was for another woman but the size was a 3x. She was very hurt because she thought that I bought it for her and the 3x size offended her because it is way too large for her. I kind of came clean and told her that it was for me to wear as a joke. After I assured her that it was not intended for her because of the 3x size and did not belong to another woman, and an affair was out of the question, she then asked me if I am a crossdresser and I did not answer the question.

I really do not know what her reaction will be. I think that I have already softened the blow with me keeping my legs shaved all winter and the finding of the lingerie.

One positive thing is that she has said numerous times quote "The perfect man all women want is a gay man that likes P***Y" end quote. She wants my sensitive side to come out but I do not know to what extreme.

Lets hear some responses.

[Darla Jean]

I am totally new to this site, but not to crossdressing and I still am uncomfortable even posting my picture here, let alone telling my wife. In past years, we have played and I've worn her slips, but all in foreplay, not as we like to dress. I don't think I will ever be able to come out and that concerns me as one woman has told me that with a little work, I can pass for an older adult woman and I would like to be able to do that sometime.

[Alberta_Pat]

Kelli;

My wife knows and assists me in dressing.

She found out 6 years ago, after she found a video i had made on the computer. At first, she was not sure because there was no facial view, just body. So, she asked me, and me beingthe brave soul (quaking in my shoes) told her that it was me.

She then asked me to dress up as seen in the video, and from there it has been all great.

I can't say how others S/Os will react, but in a marriage, honesty is always the best policy. Secrets sure, but when asked a direct question, the truth is always best.

One can always say, "yes, I dress, but I am not quite ready for the big discussion yet." An understanding person will let it rest for a bit.

I am sure that it can be quite traumatic for a wife to find out that "the other woman is her spouse". :)

Good luck with finding the exact right time for your disclosure. Perhaps over a candle light dinner tha you prepare for her. You may find that it leads to a very enjoyable evening.

[Naomi Rayne]

Based on the quote it seems that she may not actually mind that you crossdress. Something i would consider good is that she did outright ask you and depending on her attitude when she did ask you she might be okay with it. I tend to think that SO's and people that are not okay with it are going to steer far away from that conversation in the attempt to never have it at all, but she came to you which i think is always a good thing.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

That is some quote!!!:D

[Sheila]

Welllllllll she knows that cross dressing is something people do , & she asked you if you were one & you said NO :eek:, & given that she is at least informed of cross dressing, I would say your chances are slightly better than average. I would think she will ask you why you did not come clean when she asked first time ............ so a little bit of advice, don't lie to her again about any of this, if you don't know the answers to some of the questions she asks, then say so, it is okay not to have all the answers, it is not alright to lie :straightface:

Good luck and let us know how it goes & remember we have a great GG only section here if she would like to come and chat with us other GG SO's in there :)

[Sandra]

Why oh why didn't you come clean when you had the chance :doh: it sounds as though she may be ok with it all, she may holler at you for not saying something when she asked, and if she wants to no why you didn't say anything, don't lie tell her the truth, and that goes for any questions she has, even if you don't have an answer don't lie but tell her you don't have an answer.

[5150 Girl]

Sounds to me like she already suspects. and would be cool with it if you go forward with this.
I have been a long time advocate of tell her ASAP~!

[Freddy12]

I have no plans to come out of the closet. Now or any time soon.

I keep on hinting about wearing panties, and my S.O. indicates in the strongest possible terms that she does NOT want that to be even a passing consideration. I've hinted several different ways, but it's a big NO-GO. I love my wife dearly, and can't bring myself to ruin our marriage - yet.

[Dian077]

Well being divorced, twice (nothing to do with the dressing) its kinda hard to answer that. Both of my Ex's know about my dressing.
My first wife did not know the extent untill after we were divorced for a couple for years. I told my second wife pretty early on about liking womens underwear and panyhose. She was ok with that, but when I tried to get he to let me dress more she was not quite ready. After we separated she was a lot more accepting and actually participates to an extent. We go shopping form time to time. And gave been about a couple of time. It was nice.
I have been pretty honest with any women I have dated (seriously) since and they have all really been accepting. I have not dressed in front of any of them though, but they new where I stood on the matter.

I would say for them quote she made, she would be accepting, but you should go at it slow. I have found there are a lot more women who are accepting if told early on than if you "hide" it from them for a long time.

[VictoriaP]

I came out fully to my wife about 2 1/2 years ago. I had worn panties with her knowledge for years. The initial telling was difficult for me, even though she had some comfort level with the panties. After lots of talking and her reading online, she accepted my being a CD. We shopped together for OUR clothes, even had nails done together. I bought wigs, lots of clothing, lingerie, etc. She bought me lingerie, and things she saw here and there, that she thought I would like. It was great.
Then after about 2 years I noticed a slight attitude shift. She seemed impatient and at times derisive about my dressing. As time went by her attitude seemed to worsen. I finally confronted her, and suffice it to say I am back in the closet. She told me she did not like my Cd'ng at all in many many hurtful words.
So, while I applaud your intentions, be careful. Hopefully, things in my future will get better, but take this reply for what it is worth.......I thought that I had done, and was doing everything I could to include her and I still managed to mess it up.

[BRANDYJ]

Kelli, you missed a great opportunity to come out to your wife. When she asked yo if you were a cross dresser and you did not give her an answer, that can be construed as a lie by omission.
Listen to what Sheila said....Don't lie again. No doubt she loves you and it does seem she will stand by you and maybe even become fully supportive if ever given the chance.

It all comes down to honest communication. And that is the one thing all marriages need to survive....CD issue or not.

She may well be thinking, who is he fooling, I know he's a cross dresser.

You hurt her when she thought that lingerie was for her. So go buy her a nice piece of lingerie, some flowers and her favorite bottle of wine. Sit down and tell her how much you are sorry for hurting her and that you love her and it's time for you to come clean on a question she asked you about and did not answer.

I wish you luck.