The Margins of Romance

[Magickman]

I inhabited the margins of romance, for many years. Maybe that is a slight exaggeration. Actually, I was in deep space orbit around a planet that was some distance from a galaxy where romance was rumored.

During that era, dates were five or ten years apart. So I saved a lot of money on dinners, movies, and flowers. And all the while, totally clueless was my middle name. Women wouldn't talk to me, and looked the other way, even when I was beyond visual contact.

After about twenty-five years of that, I decided it was time for a change, and tried Internet dating, with mostly the same dismal results.

By then, I was getting discouraged, and decided to try crossdressing.

First, it was heeled boots, to get taller. Then, nail polish, for the bright colors. A shoulder bag. Mini-skirts, to show some leg. Tights, for the look. Stilettos, just because I could.

And now, women approach me. They give me compliments, and start conversations.

Who would have thought?

I still get very few dates, none in the last year, but I am enjoying myself more.

[Cassandra Lynn]

:lol2:
What a coincidence, that's the very same planet i'm on, and the local female inhabitants seem to get highly annoyed with me.
I hope what you say about getting more attention happens to me when i get out there, although with my luck just as a woman comes up to me and says "hey gorgeous where you been all my life", i'll suddenly be transported onto the U.S.S. Starship Halucination. :eek: :D mj (Cassie)

[kellycan27]

Was the crossdressing to do with meeeting girls, or was meeting girls the by-product of crossdressing? Just curious.

Kelly

[Karren H]

Was the crossdressing to do with meeeting girls, or was meeting girls the by-product of crossdressing? Just curious.

Kelly

I don't think it maters.. In deep space orbit.... No one can hear you scream.... If caught crossdressing!

[Renelle]

I've had something of a similar experience. Over the last few years, I've tried internet dating sites as guy-mode-me. I had a 2 year relationship that caused my last purge. We remain friends, but she knows nothing and has since moved to another town.

About a moth ago, I joined another site and put it all out there. I tell them everything. I've been getting a ton of flirts from women young enough to be my daughter. They seem to be curious and playful. Occasionally, someone more my age will start a conversation. I haven't had a date yet, but it's still early. It all got me thinking.

Most women probably don't know very much about us. If you tell them something they haven't already heard a million times, they will stop to talk. If you're open and up-front with them, and a gentleman, they'll at least take you seriously. They'll be able to tell that you're someone on an unusual journey of self-discovery. You're offering them something very few have experienced and likely never even thought about.

At least for women my age, they seem to be under the impression that CDer's are either gay or perverts, possibly both. And why not, that's the conventional wisdom out there. It wasn't so long ago, I thought the same thing. You're changing their paradigm, and that's going to take some time. Be patient, tell the truth, be yourself; Women are complicated.

[AllieSF]

Interesting experiences, and I am enjoying similar reactions. I am very extroverted and have always been able to talk with anyone anywhere, except maybe for that attractive woman I was interested in on the other side of the room. Since I started dressing and going out more than 3 years ago, I have noticed that I may be even more extroverted and actually seeking opportunities to interface and talk with other people, whoever that lucky victim or victims may be. Doing that I have also found that my conversations with women are much more natural and easy flowing. Maybe they do not feel threatened as if a man was talking with them even though I do not pass that well, especially up close and personal. As a result of that, I have made friends with several young women in the twenties and early thirties. For example, I have gone out clubbing with one, and her and another friend have gone out for dinner and drinks with me and my friends. Now if my luck continues, I will find someone about twice their age and closer to my own with whom I could maybe establish a closer relationship. So, in summary, I think that my dressing has helped me meet fun and attractive women for friendship types of relationships.

[Sophie_C]

Interesting experiences, and I am enjoying similar reactions. I am very extroverted and have always been able to talk with anyone anywhere, except maybe for that attractive woman I was interested in on the other side of the room. Since I started dressing and going out more than 3 years ago, I have noticed that I may be even more extroverted and actually seeking opportunities to interface and talk with other people, whoever that lucky victim or victims may be. Doing that I have also found that my conversations with women are much more natural and easy flowing. Maybe they do not feel threatened as if a man was talking with them even though I do not pass that well, especially up close and personal. As a result of that, I have made friends with several young women in the twenties and early thirties. For example, I have gone out clubbing with one, and her and another friend have gone out for dinner and drinks with me and my friends. Now if my luck continues, I will find someone about twice their age and closer to my own with whom I could maybe establish a closer relationship. So, in summary, I think that my dressing has helped me meet fun and attractive women for friendship types of relationships.

As alluded to above, they don't feel threatened because they think you're gay. The standard angle from others on all people who crossdress in society is that they're gay, because they only know of performance-type drag queens (if anyone), who are predominantly gay. Simple as that. Just FYI.

[AllieSF]

Sophie,

I have only had one or two people ever ask whether I was gay. I have directly asked several people including the younger women what they thought about a man in woman's clothing and whether they thought that a crossdresser might be gay. Almost all of them said that never even came to their mind. I associate it to their young age and corresponding acceptance of all things normal and not so normal. Plus, this is in San Francisco where alternate lifestyles are so common that acceptance is so common, though not 100%. They say I am just another person with a different way of presenting myself. They just enjoy the company and interesting conversations that we have together. It may be that some may think that I, or crossdressers in general, may be gay. However, based on our conversations I believe that the majority of them were telling the truth.