Thinking about going out the first time????

[Deborah Jane]

The question often gets asked here about going out the first time.
From my own personnal experiance, once you start thinking about going out, it is only a matter of time until you do.

Before my first time out I'd spent ages umming and ahhing as to whether I should go out. I read all the "out and about" threads on here and wished I could get out there too. I came on here and asked for advice on getting out, I was encouraged to "try it you'll never look back" as many said.
It gnawed and gnawed at me like an itch that needed scratching until one day I just decided "sod it, what's to lose!!".......I went out, was as nervous as hell, but thoroughly enjoyed it.

It was quite a while before I went out again, but the memories were good ones that I often thought about and eventually [with the help of Sheila, my SO] I started going out again, regularly.

I still get nervous on occasions, I still get the butterflies before going out quite often, but I still go out and over time my confidence is growing more!

So to those thinking about going out I say......Try it, you may love it, or you may hate it, but until you go, you'll never know!!

Good luck, have fun, but most of all, Enjoy it :)

[Katesback]

A shot of JD or some other strong liquor before you go out helps to temper the fears!

[Mirani]

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu; Chinese philosopher (604BC - 531BC)

I started with the one step (in high heels of course) and now ..... 24/7!
But there had to be the first time.

and of course there is "That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for a transperson" (apologies to Neil Armstrong)

[kimdl93]

A single step indeed. I have to admit the idea of going out dressed is growing more appealing every day. I find myself taking very tentative steps.

The other day I was out at a restaraunt en drab, except for some cute Lassen sandals with 2" heels. A lady at a nearby table complimented me on my cute shoes and asked where I got them. (Zappos) I was pleased, rather than mortified.

[Sheila]

A shot of JD or some other strong liquor before you go out helps to temper the fears!

I think that could be dangerous in some circumstances E.G if u plan on driving, or it could make you less aware & give you a belief that could cause you to do something silly ........... I would not recommend Alcohol in certain circumstances and false bravado, here, is one of them

or even better, a great deal of self belief, & or a supporting friend or SO :)

[Kimmy55]

A shot of JD or some other strong liquor before you go out helps to temper the fears!

This may seem unpopular but I agree with Kate

[StacyCD]

Adrenaline is our body's way of making us more aware of our surroundings and our sensations. Yes, everyone will be nervous the first time out the door but alcohol is a depressant and will only lead to the exact opposite process. IMO, if you need alcohol to go out the door, it might just be better to stay inside. Imagine you have that swig of Jack Daniel's on your breath as you have a minor fender bender, would that be the 'straw' that gets you a ride downtown in the squad car rather than the officer just taking down your information? Not to be too alarmist or anything because most likely nothing will happen. I may be a minority of one but I seem to enjoy my gender excursions without the need for alcohol. Sorry!

[carolinoakland]

my biggest fear was that I didn't want to be one of 'those' guys. Then I found out that I was a woman. And that was when I realized that my fear wasn't that I was one of 'those' guys, but a girl. The fear had always been.... if I am a woman... now what? I think I found the answer.

[StaceyJane]

I used to be so afraid but I came to the point where I really had to go out for my own sanity.
I know I really don't pass but I don't let fear control me and I always try to be confident going out.
I've been going out doing regular things for the past few months and I haven't had a problem.

My advice to anyone still scared is just do it. You won't regret it.

[sterling12]

I think The More you think about it....The less likely you are to actually do it!

Yes, I know you have to sort these things through in your mind, but all The Angst, all that mental arguing, back and forth, in your head; That only causes you to have "grid-lock," and then nothing gets accomplished.

I think The Original Advise was The Best. "Just get out there and Do It!" I wish I had a Nickel for every "newbie" I've drug out of a Group Meeting and Gently FORCED them to come along with The Gurls for a Social Evening. I think they always "wanted" to go, but apparently it took someone to just not accept any excuses, and push them out The Door. 100% of The Time, at The End of The Evening, they say: "Wow, that was great, why did I wait so long, waste so much time!"

Maybe that's The Best NEW Advise. Join a Group, go out with others! Perhaps being part of "The Herd" will give you The Impetus you need.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Alicia.80]

Until recently, I almost never went out in public. Now I do almost everything as well... me, work being the one exception. All I can say is that at first it was hard and felt like everyone was watching me all the time, and chances are most were... happens when you're nervous; regardless of dress. Now that I've been doing it a lot more, even though there's no chance that people mistake me for a woman, most people don't look twice. The ones that do, or that stare I just smile at.

One thing that helped me when I had to force myself to go out was just to pretend I wasn't wearing anything out of place.

[Phyliss Hdson]

My first time out was by myself in a place where I knew absolutley no one. While it was fun and exciting it would have been much more fun to go with someone. For those thinking about going out for thr first time you just have to muster up the courage and do it. If you dont have a shot of JD before you go out, have one as soon as you get where your going. The butterflies will thank you for it.
Hugs Phyliss

[Andria]

Oh, those butterflies.. I had tons of those in my tummy the last time I went out. I'm sure I'll always get them. Its exciting, though. :)

[jenna_woods]

that's very well said. and its good advice, my self once i started going out I never wanted to stop, i aan doing it most every day now and loveing it,

[Lexine]

Very good advice, and a nice story to boot!

When I went out for the first time admittedly I was terrified. I didn't know how people would react, but I began just acting like my normal self, albeit altered, to suit my feminine side. The more I went out, the more I felt comfortable about this side of myself and the more my feminine side defined her personality. I think I know more about her now than if I decided to stay inside.

I hope the other girls read our "first time" posts and get the courage to go out in the near future! Your inner femme wants to get out... you just have to give her the opportunity ;)

[msginaadoll]

I think for most of us we will truly be never ready to go out. There will always be those initial butterflies. Many of us will doubt how we look and present ourselves. Its easy to get wrapped up in "Passing" which in most cases is a dream. On the other hand most people really dont care and you are just part of the crowd of life. It is always a good idea when thinking about going out who do u want to be seen as. Do you want to be seen as just another female or as i call myself WLO (Woman Like Object) or do u want to stick out. Sticking out can be good and bad its nice to look classy and attractive not so nice to look like a circus freak. So what is your style of dress? Also what do you do if people dont accept you or give you a hard time? A lot of questions to mull over.

[PretzelGirl]

I am a fairly nervous person, but the first time I really believe the excitement overcame the nervousness. Once I decided that I was going out, it was a done deal. I was a little strange in how I got to that point. I dressed for a few years without thinking about going out. Then once I thought about it, I was set on doing it.

[AKAMichelle]

Being nervous is a part of going out. You can't always be Ms smooth, but over time it does get easier.

I agree with Deborah. Kick yourself in the butt and get out there.

[MissKara]

I've been thinking of taking Kara out sometime. I have some friends who want to meet her so I am thinking of going to bring up the strength to go out soon (Once I have a complete outfit that is).

How hard can it be.... I already came out to all my friends :love:

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[SuzannaB]

The first time I went out it took me until around 3am to work up enough courage. At which time I thought, 'What the hell, there's no-one around now anyway.'
Went to the local main street and walked past a few windows, but then it struck me...there were people around and as a lone woman out walking at 3 am I was simply drawing more attention to myself. Not the plan at all!
It also made me realise how vulnerable a woman feels out on her own late at night.
Point is, if you're nervous, the best place to hide a tree is in a forest. Get out amongst the crowds and probably no-one will bat an eyelid!