What was the reason you came out to people around you?

[Naomi Rayne]

For those of us CDers that are out to our SO's most of us have probably told them because they are the ones who have to live with us, or because we did not want to lie to them, or some sort of reason like that. But when it comes to friends and family I feel that there is a huge difference in our reasons for telling out friends and family.

I have told my SO because I did not want to lie to her and I wanted to be able to express my feminine side. I have also told 1 friend because I wanted some support other than the support of my SO. It has lead me to think why I told her. Was it support? Acceptance? Or to just be able to express my fem side to her as well without any problems?

What about everyone else? What were your reasons for telling your SO? Your friends? And family?

[Lexine]

Reason? I didn't want to hold it in if it was going to be part of my lifestyle, but I felt that it was important to tell people about it - especially the ones who I'll be interacting with as her. Now, the how is a different story:

SO - None here, so that solves that problem... though my future SO would need to be open to the idea that I'm a CDer. It speaks much of that person's character if she's able to accept it for what it really is and not treat her like competition.

Friends - I didn't "tell" my friends that I was a CDer... I showed them! And they reacted normally. No weird reactions. Nothing. I'm blessed to have friends like them.

Family - I don't plan on telling my family about this primarily because I hardly see them anyway and I figure, "What difference would it be if they knew or not?"

[Simply_Vanessa]

I decided to come out because in my case, the physical changes I am making to myself are becoming pretty apparent. being out just allows me to also act and move the way I want to as well. Theres no point being in the closet if CDing is going to be a big part of your life..:)

[Rianna Humble]

I came out to those around me for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it was becoming too painful to pretend I was still "him" and that spilled over into some tell-tale signs.

Secondly (at work) those signs had been spotted and a GG colleague encouraged me to talk to management about "wearing something that makes you more comfortable" on the days when we have a relaxed dress-code.

Next, some of the work colleagues criticised the compromise that I had struck with management and encouraged me to dress fully.

I came out to my father because we share a house and he had spotted some tells like my nail varnish and because I am getting ready to go 24/7 so he needs to understand.

I haven't come out to many of my old political allies yet, but that will become inevitable when I am 24/7.

Don't know if any of that will help the OP, but I hope so.

[MissKara]

I only just came out :eek: The reason why I came out is simple: I was sick of hiding my true self from people :)

My SO already knew because I had told her, and one of my closest friends knew, but I was still sick and tired of having to run and change when a friend would drop over.

I still havn't got the courage to tell my family yet because I don't know how they would react.... babysteps :)

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[StaceyJane]

I came out because I found out I had been caught. I figured I might as well come clean.
Despite some rough times I'm glad I'm out.

[Michaela42]

I have only really "came out" to a few people. One was my Mother and I did that back when I was a teenager. Like I am sure most of you, you started with raiding female relative's closets. Since I have no sister that left only my Mother's closet. Well, one afternoon when I was home alone I was wearing an outfit she had worn a few weeks before for a wedding. As "bad" luck would have it an uncle desided to drop off some stuff he had borrowed and I had to run back to my parent's room. I was wearing a killer pair of high heeled sandals which were just a bit too tight for me. As I made the turn into my parent's bedroom I turned a heel and a few of the straps let loose. The uncle did not catch me but the shoe was ruined and I knew I would have to tell my Mother about what had happened. She was pretty understanding actually, which was a great relief.

The only other member of the family is my aunt. Her oldest son came out as a homosexual and while she was supportive of him, she was upset that she felt that it was somehow her fault. I tried to explain that was not the case by using me as an example. Did she understand, not sure? Do I care if she looks at me differently, not really.

[Tranny Tee]

A friend kept asking questions about what I had done the previous weekend. I gave him some vague answers and he continued probing. As I tired of his questions I finally told him that I was a crossdresser and had dressed up to go see a drag show. His reaction was great it was as if he had sustained a severe blw to the head.
I enlisted the help of a woman who had camped next to me at Burning Man to help me choose a wig, she already had a strong suspicion I was a crossdresser.
As there is a chance thet my brother will be the one to take care of my stuff if I die I told him so he will not be surprised.
As I get older I find fewer and fewer reasons to stay in the closet and really don't care who learns of my crossdressing.

[Suzy Harrison]

I went full time and felt sure they would all notice

hugs Suzy

[PretzelGirl]

When I told my wife, I told her she could tell a couple of froends so she didn't have to hold it in.

I decided to tell my oldest daughter and likewise I told her to talk with her best friend if she wanted (her husband was on a business trip).

So when he returned, I told my son-in-law. I certainly wouldn't promote my daughter keeping a secret from him.

Then there are a couple of SAs and one friend. She matched my foundation, taught me make-up, and has styled my hair. So I think she is accepting. :D

[Miranda09]

I have come out to only one person. I felt the need to as I had to have at least one person I can talk about this side of my persona to without feeling uncomfortable. It's been a great load off my shoulders, and a successful decision as she helps with every aspect of my femme self. She's not my SO, just a good friend who is very opened minded. Her view is that everyone should have the opportunity and freedom to live life as they want it, not as others require it. :)

[AKAMichelle]

The reasons for telling my SO were because I was tired of lying and deceiving her. I wanted her to know the real me and not the facade that I was presenting.

I haven't told my family but my wife told her family. My kids were told as part of telling my wife. Some of my friends know but most do not. I will probably never tell my parents since they are extremely unlikely to be accepting. Most of my friends can't be told since they are closely related to work and I don't want everyone knowing there.

[Annalise]

I told my SO and another friend is very open and accepting and wanted to see pics on the spot! I opened to my SO because we feel so serious about being together for a long time and even have plans to move in together. I didn't want this to be some secret or something hidden away from her. She started asking me my tastes about certain things and I used it as an eventual segway to open up about dressing. She deserved to know as a loved should not have any secrets or anxieties to strain the relationship. She even came out to me aboutbeing attracted to women herself and said sometimes she likes role the masculine one which in turn helps me express all that I can of my femme side. It is such a huge weight to have taken off to just have one person know, but to have the one you love know and to have that kind of trust is like love being an endless ocean without a depth to be reached ever. She wants to support me and protect me and love me for who I am as I do her. To finally make true all the reasons I say I love her and the reasons she says she loves me, I came out to her and she showed her true colors. In essence it was a trial by fire for our relationship and since we're getting so serious about each other it was just time and I accepted it. Love had found it's way.

[Naomi Rayne]

I told my SO and another friend is very open and accepting and wanted to see pics on the spot! I opened to my SO because we feel so serious about being together for a long time and even have plans to move in together. I didn't want this to be some secret or something hidden away from her. She started asking me my tastes about certain things and I used it as an eventual segway to open up about dressing. She deserved to know as a loved should not have any secrets or anxieties to strain the relationship. She even came out to me aboutbeing attracted to women herself and said sometimes she likes role the masculine one which in turn helps me express all that I can of my femme side. It is such a huge weight to have taken off to just have one person know, but to have the one you love know and to have that kind of trust is like love being an endless ocean without a depth to be reached ever. She wants to support me and protect me and love me for who I am as I do her. To finally make true all the reasons I say I love her and the reasons she says she loves me, I came out to her and she showed her true colors. In essence it was a trial by fire for our relationship and since we're getting so serious about each other it was just time and I accepted it. Love had found it's way.

I know the feeling well, I told my SO for the same reasons and we have never been better

[NatalieBliss]

I told my little sister and my best guy-friend who was my roomate at the time, crossdressing is not the reason we are not roomates anymore. My little sister told two of her friends because well, I dumped it on her and left mumbling we could talk about it anytime.

I told them because I was tired of feeling lonely with the secret.

[MichelleOBrien]

It's the need for acceptance and validation. And to make sure I wasn't going absolutely batty. I've gotten a lot of different comments, but crazy hasn't been one of em.

[BRANDYJ]

This is a very good question. I have always told any woman I was romantically involved with other then my first wife. The first person i told was the woman that wopujld become my second wife. ( she died in 1984) Next was my third wife. After telling my past wife, I knew there was no way I could or would ever want to hide it from another lover, wife or SO again (like I did from my first wife) My present SO knew from day one since we met on-line at another site and I had pictures of me dressed feminine. That was one reason she made first contact.
Since then, I have told 2 male friends I was close to. I have also recently told 4 women I got to know from another website (not related to crossdressing or any alternate lifestyle) I have met them all in person and had formed close friendships with them. Not one was negative in any way. They are still close friends. Some have asked good questions and I enjoy responding to their questions and helping educate them on a topic they never had any personal experience with. I even asked 2 of them if they would ever consider a relationship with a CD if they otherwise were attracted to them. Both said of course! One even said it might be fun and exciting!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I came out to my friends and family and pretty much anyone who pays attention to my facebook page last summer. The reason that I made a point of talking to my parents about it was because at the time I was living in their home, but also because I had kind of come to the decision to start talking about it onstage in my comedy act and it felt like I owed it to them to talk to them about it first before telling a room full of strangers.

As to why I came out, like others in this and similar threads, for me it just got to a point where it was really frustrating to me that I was keeping this part of myself shut off from the world and so I decided it was time to just tell people about and live and dress the way I wanted and hope the chips fell in my favor. So far I've been very lucky in that they have but it's all just about living your life and being comfortable. I say it a lot, but others will be comfortable with you if you're comfortable with yourself.

[stacey.eyes]

I am out only to my sweetie, and that's primarily because she sleuthed out signs of the presence of another girl. I think she was relieved to find it was only me, although she's not enthusiastic about it. Still, it's a huge relief to not have to hide and to be able to talk about this at least a little bit openly. She's opposed to any disclosure outside of the two of us, so I respect that and am not sure I would want it anyway. It does make the process of going out problematic, however.

[Sarah Doepner]

I was nearly caught and although I might have been able to avoid the disclosure, I blurted it out. In looking back at the moment I think I had so much bottled up inside that I would have been sharing the information soon anyway, one way or another.

So far my wife is the only family member or close friend I have confided in. She holds the information close and it's all quiet on that front for the time being. It will eventually come out to others, but I don't know when that will happen just yet, but it's getting closer all the time.

[JenniferRose]

I came out not only because I wanted more the just my SO to know, but a friend decided to start telling people he thought I was doing it to begin with so I decided it wouldnt hurt so I told friends and family

[Fab Karen]

Life is sooo much easier not trying to hide what you are.

[t-girlxsophie]

My circumstances are different as regards telling family,they knew from an early age because i was a terrible liar.now they dont know the extent i dress now never mind that i actually leave the house and meet other ppl. my SO knew from the very begining and our relationship has flourished ever since,she told a couple of her sisters,its a big thing to keep to oneself,they have been cool about it all,work colleagues well some knew from me. Some by accident but i dont feel the need to tell anyone else.there would be no merit and nothing to be gained from it for me or them am very happy with my lot:thumbsup:

[Angiemead12]

I told my friends and family because they were not getting along with my SO, they were not getting along with my SO because she wasnt happy how she gets the girly me while everyone else sees the boy me.

I did it to be true to myself and to the people i love. I did it because I love myself and I dont want to feel guilty anymore.

In the process my SO has told some of her good friends as well. I want to be free and live my life the way I choose too.

[Amanduhrob]

I just got to that age where I didn't care what people thought of me.

[Brandi Wyne]

Well, it didn't go as I had planned or hoped but I came out to family first to help stop the deceiving and lying to the ones I love. My wife divorced me and the kids disowned me. My sister is much closer to me and my brother is neutral about it all. I have outed to a couple of friends who generally say it's no problem for them.

Now, how far out will I go? I don't really know right now. it has cost me one job so far and my employment options may have shrunk away as well. So, I am more honest about it, right?:brolleyes:

[wickedfruit]

I actually have a very interesting family when it comes to trans issues. my biological mother disowned me when she found out about my gender issues, which IMO was unreasonable, but also understandable since i was stealing her clothes to cross-dress, but out of shame she didn't tell anyone else in my family. so when she gave me the boot i moved in with my cousin's now ex-husband who was very understanding, but still kept my secret. then circumstances with him went south and i moved in with his now ex-wife (my cousin) who did not know at the time, and she found my stash. When she confronted me about it, to my surprise, she did not go crazy and kick me out so her kids wouldn't be exposed to the family fag, but asked if she could borrow my favorite skirt. she's very understanding and even to this day we practically share the same wardrobe, and she encourages me to be en-femme as much as possible so that her 4 children will not be raised to hold the same misconceptions that the rest of my family has about the GBLT scene.

[Alicia.80]

I told my SO, because I felt it was the right thing to do; which worked out well since she's been very supportive.

My family, the ones that know already (father, mother, one brother) because they're important people in my life and want to share my life with them.. Just have to tell the rest of em... which will be a challenge.

[Bethany38]

My wife knew about Bethany at the same time I did basically. Going forward though. I told everyone else so I could be myself, and not worry about someone finding out. I must say it has been a great relief for me. Now when I want to dress I don't have to worry about someone seeing me by accident or something like that.