Coming out to my boss!

[Thornton]

So yeah, I keep forgetting to ask you guys.

How do I do this? It's for my temp/seasonal job as a janitor at my local mall. I work now in college, but I want to keep making my $10.55 an hour over the summer. My job performance would not change in the slightest. I don't even really deal with customers outside telling them where a store or the bathroom is. Literally, the only thing that would change is my checks would be going to a new name, and I probably can't clean the women's bathroom anymore during operating hours.

But, I'm a temp. Even if my boss is nice to my face, he can easily just not schedule me in for a lot of hours...but, I have a feeling he'll just laugh in my face and not take me back...

And it's not like I can just hide it. Not come out for the sake of my job. Because I'm on T now, and I'm gonna be gradually changing over the summer.

So, yeah. How do I come out to my boss?
This week...over the phone...

[mistunderstood]

Wow good question. I guess face to face would be best you can gage by his face exspressions what he may be thinking. But thats just me.

[Ze]

I honestly don't know, man. :sad: Seeing that I'm moving soon, I'm taking the cowardly route and just waiting until I've started my new life in a month. (I, too, have a boss that likely wouldn't be accepting, and since gender identity isn't something protected from work discrimination...) But your situation can't afford such a thing.

How close are you to this boss, in work interaction, partnership, and socially? How real do you find the threat of being fired or discriminated against to be? Have you ever been given an indication of whether or not he's respectful or tolerant of transfolk? Is your urgency or necessity to tell him due to the gendered bathroom problem (damn those things) or in addition to other things?

Although I have no advice for coming out to him, I want to at least suggest preparing yourself for a worst-case scenario. Here, I would assume it to be you get fired and have no job for the summer. Is there any backup plan you can prepare?

Either way, best of luck to you. I wish I could be of more help. :hugs:

[Abraxas]

If it's just for the summer... You never know; you may not have that many changes that are noticeable to other people.
I began transition at the start of my last job (had my first shot the day before my first day of work). I worked there for nine months and nobody noticed a thing-- and my voice dropped like a brick in a couple of months. I was hired on as male, though, and had already had my name changed so that aspect of it is different...
So unless you really want to/have to change your name during the summer, it may not be absolutely necessary to disclose at all, if you can stand to keep 'being a girl' or whatever, for the summer.

Unless I'm missing something, which could easily be the case.

[Brandi Wyne]

Discretion is the better part of valor. Think it through and weigh the costs before speaking out about it to someone in power.

[Karen564]

I can tell you for sure of what Not to do, and that's telling him over the phone...

You will need to to that face to face with him if you want the slightest chance of getting that job again..

Good Luck..:hugs:

[Andy66]

That's a tough one, baby. I have no idea, but you may want to have some selling points ready just in case the boss needs some convincing. Like you'll be physically stronger, and I don't know what else. I'm sure you'll think of something.

It depends on how your work place is set up, but you may still be able to clean the women's restroom if you put a sign or something in front of the door so women won't be in there at the same time you are. That's how some places do it. But on the flip-side, if you couldn't clean the men's restroom before, now you can.

Good luck. A boss would have to be stupid to let go of a good employee for the reason of gender.

[Felix]

Hi Thornton I have had to do the full coming out thing to my boss. I remember worrying about it for a long time and reading many different ways of doing it on this board :) Somewhere on here there is a thread by Caplex one of the other mods might know where it is he came out at work to :) Other examples I got where from the womens boards in here which were exterely informative and of great help :)

As for me I had been working at my job for six years when I decided to come out to my boss. I could have gone down one of two routes

1 Go through my boss and personel and make it a very drawn out process or

2 Go in on a training day and do it to all the staff with the hopeful support of my boss.

Unfortunately I did not get the full support of the head she made me go around the staff individually and tell them instead of what myself and the line manager wanted which was to tell the whole staff group together. This has made it so much more difficult for me and training was not provided only for two of managers.
So I don't think there is any right or wrong way I think ya gotta weigh all the options up that are open to you and choose the one you will feel most comfortable with and that will be most benificial to you. Hope this has helped a little :) xx Felix

[Sheila]

Thornton, face to face would be my first choice for telling him/her ........... can you find out discreetly what the company policy is on Transgenderism in their work place ?, if you know that it may help you formulate how you tell them ............ good luck :hugs: