Is it an epodemic?

[Annie M]

This last weekend was unusual, for starters I'm now wearing my bra most everyday even when I'm with out forms, a 36 A. On Saturday I was at a Lowes checking out and a young trans guy (I think, going by the name tag) was checking. He had long hair painted nails and looked like he was also wearing a bra or could have. I thought thats pretty brave or am I profiling! When I got to the checkout we looked at each other and, well wondered I think just what the other was thinking. That evening walking out of a concert I was standing next to a woman who had very slight beard shadow and an adams apple everything else was very close and her halter dress fit VERY well. I wanted to say something in both cases but didnt as I dont think I would like to be called out by a stranger and I didnt know for sure. Is it like suddenly seeing the same make car your driving just after you buy one? Shoud I have said anything???

[AKAMichelle]

you become very observant of other cd'ers. I think the decision to talk with them out is dependent upon whether or not you can have privacy to talk. The last thing someone needs is to be outed in public. Discretion is the better part of valor.

[suchacutie]

The more we learn how to deal with the illusion of downplaying our masculine charateristics ("clues") and accentuating our feminine ones, the more observant we become of these issues in others.

I've encountered very well-dressed and very passable girls on trains, in Starbucks (had a nice conversation with her about the area), in a food store, etc. etc.

Now, this encounter was in San Francisco, but I was in a Payless looking for some heels (and finding none, darn it!) when a young man turned to me and just asked about sizes as he said he had never bought women's shoes before, and then just straight out asked if I dressed as a woman. His "excuse" was that he was an actor and needed them for a part (of course when I asked about the part and how high a heel he needed he didn't know!), so I was enthusiastic and within a few minutes we had found a pair of shoes he liked and he was off completely happy. I was miserable in that there were no 4" heels, but that's life :)

It does seem that there are a lot of us out there, quietly going about their business! Isn't it wonderful!

tina

[kimdl93]

I think in a business setting, like at Lowes, I'd just let it go at a knowing glance. Otherwise, in a public place - like at a concert - it might be OK to strike up a conversation without making any presumption or comment - because afterall, who knows! If she turns out to be a CDer, well, cool you've met someone who shares an interest.

[Karren H]

At Lowes you should have said the secret passwords... "Nice hardware, hon". If they replied "thanks hon?" Bingo! Lol.

[Freddy12]

Care needs to be taken. If it is possible to be discreet, then a compliment is almost always appreciated. If there are others who might over-hear, then discression is the way to go.

"I wish I had the courage to dress like I want to" could be one comment that could possibly be acceptable.

[Loni]

i do not "pass" so good.:doh:
but the last thing i would want is to pointed out. a lady like compliment is ok...but not asking about my cross-dressing.

i would rather fly under the radar.:daydreaming:

.

[MissKara]

I have the same problem sometimes. I am finding it hard to pass unnoticed, but it is still early days.

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[AllieSF]

I like your approach Karren sweetie. Actually, I think that you could have asked a simple question like, "How do you like your long hair? Is it a lot of trouble to take care of? I have always wanted hair that length but have been afraid to try it." Actually, that was two questions. They were straight forward gender neutral questions with the qualifier that you would like to have similar hair. You will be surprised how everyone responds naturally and simply with no offense taken nor awkward moments. If you get a good response, then you keep the conversation going as you check out. Just remember to say, "Goodbye and have a great day" when you leave.

[sherri52]

you did the right thing. Most CD's would not want to know they were read. If you run into me by all means lets go for coffee. I know I don't pass

[Renelle]

Originally posted by Karren Hutton


"Nice hardware, hon".

Yer killin' me. :thumbup:

[suchacutie]

My approach is to engage in a conversation, but one that assumes I'm talking to a GG and see where it goes. This way there is no "outing" and yet there is support!

:)

tina