Stuck with a difficult question

[MissKara]

Hey Girls,

I went out walking again today (I got a ankle length skirt so I decided to wear it on my second trip out) and while I was walking I had some thoughts that I wanted to share/get some feedback on:

Do I consider myself mainly Male or Mainly Female? After thinking about it for a while I decided: I dont see myself as either. If you would strip away my male body, my mind would be neither one or the other. And to be honest, I love that :love:

Coming off that thought though, it got me thinking about clothing and I am still to answer this question:

Should I merge my clothing into a single wardrobe (Mix and Match Karl's male clothing with Kara's female clothing) or should they be exclusive to each other.

I am kind of on the fence on this one because while it would be nice to merge my wardrobes, I am afraid that if I do then there is no differentiation between Karl and Kara, which I don't really want to do because Kara is her own entity and to slightly modify a quote from Dirty Dancing "Nobody puts Kara in the corner!" :daydreaming:

What do you guys things? Am I over thinking it?

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[kimdl93]

Maybe overthinking a bit. I mix things all the time, but I really don't try to differentiate my persona when dressed from when not.

[Katesback]

Sis:

What you are talking about is being androgynious or gender bender.

There is nothing wrong with what you feel. You are uniquely you!

If you want to wear male and female clothing and present yourself in some out of the ordinarry way thats your choice.

I will caution you though. Society is not at all tuned to the mix and match appearance. You are likely to face more obsticles than presenting a male or female.

Katie

[sissystephanie]

First of all, unless you have had the surgery,, you are a male no matter what you have on. You may think of yourself as a female, but you know you are really a male.

But that doesn't mean that you cannot dress in whatever way you wish! I have no desire to be a woman, and thus will never have the surgery. But I go out in public almost every day dressed as a female. But I look and act like a man. No wig or makeup, because my late wife always did that for me! And contrary to what you have been told, I have never (in 5 years) had a bad comment made to me. I have had many compliments on my outfits!!:heehee:

Your own attitude will detirmine your outcome when going out! Be yourself, and don't worry!! One major thing, I do mix and match on occasion but usually wear either male or female things by themselves. Well, except that I do underdress most of the time!!

[Kaz]

Hi Kara, I think I know where you are coming from...

At home I am not openly "out", so the Kaz gear is well and truly shut away and everything visible is male...

However, I get to go away for work and stay over, and now Kaz shares the wardrobe. It is great to have the clothes out and in the same place as my "male" clothes... it feels more like me...

I appreciate your wanting to keep the two seperate, and I guess to a certain extent I do, but I am increasingly thinking of myself as both at once... and feeling comfortable with that.. It is great to get up in a morning, open the wardrobe and both sides of me are there! :)

Kaz xx

[Jilmac]

Kara, I'm not saying what you should or should not do, but for me it's a no brainer. I keep Jill's wardrobe completely separate of Bill's male clothes. :2c:

[Lexine]

You're probably over-thinking it. I mix and match Alex and Lexi's wardrobes all the time! Often times, this leads to Lexi looking cuter and Alex looking more handsome.

As far as identifying closely with neither gender, that's great but confusing. It's almost like you've distilled the essence of a personality, which is ultimately yours. Now, gender can still play a role somehow, just a question what your mood is at the time.

I don't wanna give out a stereotypical response, but this is one of those "Find yourself" type questions that would benefit a lot of self-reflection. Either way, nothing wrong with feeling the way you're feeling! This is exactly why I CD: to learn more about myself!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Should I merge my clothing into a single wardrobe (Mix and Match Karl's male clothing with Kara's female clothing) or should they be exclusive to each other.

No one can answer that question for you, it's got to come down to what style works best for you personally. What, when you look in the mirror, feels like "you."


I am kind of on the fence on this one because while it would be nice to merge my wardrobes, I am afraid that if I do then there is no differentiation between Karl and Kara, which I don't really want to do because Kara is her own entity and to slightly modify a quote from Dirty Dancing "Nobody puts Kara in the corner!" :daydreaming:

I think in the long run it is better to not think of it this way, personally. I'm not saying don't have "Kara" as a persona, that's totally your decision, but it can be a little taxing mentally to think of "Karl" and "Kara" as two different people. I think compartmentalizing yourself like that is really damaging over time in a psychological sense. I think instead of thinking of your two sides as two different entities, you should work towards viewing it as just one way to express your same personality. The same way most people have for example "Work" mode and "with friends" mode, or "family" mode. You're the same person just behaving appropriately for the situation. That isn't to say you can't go by the name "Kara," when you're being girly, it just means you know that Kara is part of Karl who is part of Kara and so forth.


What do you guys things? Am I over thinking it?


Maybe a bit, but that's ok, we all do.


First of all, unless you have had the surgery,, you are a male no matter what you have on. You may think of yourself as a female, but you know you are really a male.

I think this is a bit unfair and oversimplified. If you're going strictly by biological sex, then fine but in the realm of gender expression it isn't so black and white.

[Mistybtm]

:battingeyelashes: I merge my wardrobes in the closet and dresser I am single live a lone. my female clothes out number my male clothes so i realy have 2 closets full right now.:battingeyelashes:
:battingeyelashes: What do you guys things? Am I over thinking it? I think you are. :battingeyelashes:

[t-girlxsophie]

With due respect i think you may overthinking things,my Sophie wardrobe is perfectly laid out in and i love looking at all my lovely clothes.My male clothes are stuffed away ready to come out of hiding on rare occasions it is needed.this is probably a throwback to days when my girl clothes were hidden away in bin bags,during my first marriage

[~Michelle~]

You may think of yourself as a female, but you know you are really a male.

I can't stop feeling like a 100% woman inside, just because someone gave me the wrong "attributes". That won't ever happen, because I'm am woman! So you to think that a surgery suddenly makes me a woman that I already was my whole life? It has already been hard for me to live the life of a man, just because my body tells me to live like one, reading such words makes a tad teary, even when I know that you didn't mean any harm.

[eluuzion]

In my opinion, yes, you are overthinking it.

"ThinkLess/ActMore...life is short."

[noeleena]

Hi..
Im one of those who are both m & f , andro .

Yet for 50 years under protest i wore damm male clothes still. & really did hate it ,
.
so over the last 12 years i moved away from that & only have womens wear.
Nowi still do building work & yes as a woman so its just shorts & tee or close as , Now i still wear heavy army boots & over alls so i dont have a problem .

I dont see a prob in the mix & match idear for you many of my friends on our susans place forum have the same details going on & we find that many do mix & match thier clothes , so,
if you like to blend in & not be to stand out . i would go with that ,
as you change you find out along the way you may change your idears compleatly again,
just do as you see it & dont worry about others . go for the mix sounds good .

...noeleena...

[DAVIDA]

I am afraid that if I do then there is no differentiation between Karl and Kara, which I don't really want to do because Kara is her own entity

It looks to me that you have answered your own question.:thumbsup:

[MissKara]

Thanks for all your help girls :) I think I just needed to vent what I was thinking, but I have decided to keep Karl and Kara's clothing seperate :)

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[Deborah Jane]

Am I over thinking it?



Yes I think you are, you just need to be yourself whatever mode you are in :)

[Karren H]

I agree with Deborah Jane... Who I am and my happiness is independent of the clothing I wear!

[Traci Elizabeth]

First of all, unless you have had the surgery,, you are a male no matter what you have on. You may think of yourself as a female, but you know you are really a male.


Well being a pre-op TS, I can tell you this: I am all woman no matter what is between my legs. So I have to respectfully disagree with you on this point.

To the OP, that choice is strictly up to you. Any combination, male only, female only, or "mix N' match" are all fine. It might be fun for you to be as androgynous
as you can and see how many folks you can puzzle!

Since you don't feel either male or female, perhaps you are transitioning your gender and do not realize it yet but caught in that awkward middle stage.

[Christina2008]

Get rid of your guy clothes and you won't have that problem of mixing them :)

[Frédérique]

Do I consider myself mainly Male or Mainly Female? After thinking about it for a while I decided: I dont see myself as either.
Should I merge my clothing into a single wardrobe (Mix and Match Karl's male clothing with Kara's female clothing) or should they be exclusive to each other.

Only you can answer this question, but I think you’ve stumbled upon the idea of gender integration by straddling both sides of your wardrobe. I have the same clothes for me, male or female, and there is no separation – my femme self (no difference) exists only as a “front” for purposes of this forum. I may lean one way or another, but I always mix from both sides of the closet*. I never think specifically about Frédérique at all – it’s only me, the person talking to you in this little box. So, my wardrobe reflects who I am, i.e. neither here nor there, this or that, male or female…:battingeyelashes:

*Granted, the good stuff is very feminine, but my male clothes aren't exactly "standard," or normal, either...

[Angiemead12]

I mix all my stuff together, it doesnt matter for me because Im the same person, just different with my clothing preferences!

I need a bigger closet!!

[Freddy12]

I'm glad that you have made a decision. There are many opinions here, and many of the thoughts have been well thought out, some a little off hand. This is something only you can decide, and the decision based on how you want to look at your two sides is yours alone. Merging them has its plusses and minuses. Similarly, not merging them has plusses and minuses. If you are most comfortable keeping things separate (and you are) that's what you need to do. I'm glad that you have made your decision. Overthinking? No, it's something worth considering and weighing the options. You may want to consider again later.