Crossdressing expectations

[Kate Simmons]

For most things we do we have expectations. I don't think crossdressing is any different. I'm wondering how many here have fulfilled their expectations with regard to crossdressing. If not, why not and what do you think you may have to do to fulfill them?
Sometimes it takes awhile to even realize what the expectations may be because we may tend to spin our wheels with this. I found out mine were to see if I could fulfill the female role without too many problems or issues if I chose to do so. I was able to do that by integrating my feelings. Now it would be no problem to fulfill that role should I decide to go that route someday. I think comfort level also plays a part. So, what are your expectations for crossdressing?

[mapletree]

For most things we do we have expectations. I don't think crossdressing is any different. I'm wondering how many here have fulfilled their expectations with regard to crossdressing. If not, why not and what do you think you may have to do to fulfill them?
Sometimes it takes awhile to even realize what the expectations may be because we may tend to spin our wheels with this. I found out mine were to see if I could fulfill the female role without too many problem or issues if I chose to do so. I was able to do that by integrating my feelings. Now it would be no problem to fulfill that role should I decide to go that route someday. I think comfort level also plays a part. So, what are your expectations for crossdressing?

let me see -- its quite a wide reaching topic for me

parts of my life, it seems, would be so much better if I could just express myself some days as cindy some days as J------.

sometimes i just want to lie in the sun wearing a pair of shorts female or male

sometimes i have feminine emotions but then why are they female (and I am not opeing up a new post about this today )

also for me there is fantasy, fun, excitement, laughter and fear and I coould probably think of more

soemtimes it is where i get my creative thoughts

so cross dresing is deep inside and much of it i reallly just need to accept becasue is it who I am

somedays its great --expectations are surpassed
somedays it is scary -- expectations are re-thought
someday it hurts -- expectations were off base
somdays its fun -- expectations were met

[kimdl93]

Hi Denise,

I take expectations to mean where we would like cross dressing to lead for oneself, maybe something less that a plan, but at least a sense of the direction its leading.... is that right?

I'm in a LTR with at supportive wife. At present, I dress at home and in her ompany...and wear a few fem items when we go out. Certainly, I've expanded the time and the extent of my cross dressing over the term of our relationship. Its not hard to imagine that we might one day venture out in public together...but I think that will be a major threshold to cross. I need to think of our relationship and be sure that if we take that step, she's fully on-board with it.

[Karren H]

You know that in the corporate world we are taught to always meet or exceed expectations.. It actually says so on my goals this year... That's why I always set mine so low...

Expectation 1 - wear womens clothing

Expectation 2 - don't die doing Expectation 1.. (Safety thing!!).

[CalvinKlein]

Expectations are premeditated disappointments.

[Chickhe]

I think we think alike. After doing the things that scared me the most, I discovered, I really had nothing to fear. I learned that I can dress up and go out and blend in and experience life as a female for a while. It seems, I have come full circle, like you say, I am comfortable now and have fullfilled many of my expecations so, in a way there is not much need to dress anymore since I proved to myself I could do it and I have reached my limit.

[Lexine]

I think over the course of the past month or so I've been checking the forums that I've gone through a bunch of expectations... although I'd much rather call them "achievements," kinda similar to the Xbox 360 Achievements that I get for fulfilling a specific goal in a game. Yes, I am geeky ^^;; Anyways, expectations/achievements/what-not, here they are in no particular order:

1. Learn how to put makeup on - Partially fulfilled. Still need to perfect putting on liquid eyeliner
2. Be able to dress androgynously - Fulfilled
3. Be able to dress as a tomboyish female - Fulfilled
4. Be able to look good in a dress - Fulfilled
5. Be able to pass as a female - Fulfilled
6. Be autonomous when it comes to shopping for en femme clothes - In progress
7. Find/style a wig that will make me look more feminine without compromising my look - In progress
8. Develop several different styles and looks that would look right on me - In progress
9. Be more in tune with current fashion trends - In progress
10. Go out in public - Fulfilled
11. Develop a feminine voice - Partially fulfilled. GG friends say that I've gotten better, but isn't a definite.
12. Pass/blend with society with at least one particular look - Fulfilled
13. Find a good, natural hairstyle that will go well with my en femme look (Short hair) - Fulfilled
14. Find a good, natural hairstyle that will go well with my en femme look (Long hair) - In progress

I'm sure there's more, but this is all I can remember for now.

[suchacutie]

Expectation may not be the right word for me. For me it is a goal:

My goal is to be equally comfortable in both of my gender presentations.

To get to that goal for Tina there are certain intermediate steps since we can't do everything at once. The first steps were the more mechanical aspects of makeup, body language, walking in heels, dealing with feminine clothing. The next set of steps involve language, voice, psychology, and emotion. These last are ongoing at the moment, maybe 60% complete. The last set of steps (as I now see it) involve the integration of the life of switching back and forth into my current life. How to do this seems to become more and more apparent as the second set of steps mature. Life does get in the way of Tina-time, and it's already clear that the only way to be able to maintain a smooth transition between genders is to spend enough time in one of the genders to maintain that part of life. Right now Tina does not get enough time to do that, and projects she starts or books she is reading just don't get the continued attention they need for continuity.

Anyway, that's where I am with my general goal! Oh, yes, you probably noticed that Tina is incredibly organized and very detail-oriented! If I could only carry that over to my male life!!!

tina

[Sarah Doepner]

I expect to be happy and comfortable when I'm dressed in my girl clothes. I expect that it won't happen often enough or last long enough. I expect to continue working with others to develop our Tri-Ess chapter. I expect that regardless of how much weight I lose or how well I learn to do my makeup I'll still be seen as a crossdresser pretty quickly. I expect that one of these days someone else, either a friend or family member will find out that I am a crossdresser. After that it's all hope and prayer it works out to the best.

[Michaela42]

Well, my ultimate expectation will never happen as it is impossible. I would love to be able to go out in public dressed perfectly fashionable, perfectly passable, with perfect hair, perfect make-up, perfect nails, a perfect speaking voice, a perfect credit card, . . . (See the pattern here?) Okay, back to reality. I would like for one day to be able to go out dressed and to be completely at ease. Perfect, no, but I will take it.

[Freddy12]

I don't think I have any specific expectations, or at least I haven't thought about it enough to list specific expectations. I wear female clothes because I like them, and they feel right. I want to be able to go out in public without attracting much negative attention. Perhaps those are expectations, but I don't really look at them that way.

[Jonianne]

I didn't have expectations, but I did have hopes and dreams. But, all I wanted was to have someone who was just OK with me, knowing I was a crossdresser. With my Angel, she has given me more than I ever thought possible.

Angel gave me my first wig.
She went with me to Triess meetings.
She took me on my first outing, saying Joni needs to feel the sun on her face.
She kept encouraging me to out when I could.
She suggested I take my cloths with me when we went on vacation to Niagra Falls and go out there dressed.
She suggested I ride our train trip there dressed.
She took me out to dinner dressed.
She encouraged me to grow my hair long and style it femme.

If I ever had any expectations, she has helped me to exceed them, far more than I could ever imagine. I never thought it was possible for me to have done any of them.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

To fit into that cursed size 0 skirt that's been hanging in my closet since last summer without having to suck in my stomach. Plus the usual, voice improvement, improving all feminine manerisms, and triming down my arms and shoulders.

[Nikki A.]

An expectation to me is what others want of you, whereas you set goals for yourself.
That said, my goal is to become more comfortable with my Nikki personna, go out more as her and be able to pass and be treated as such. Will I be read, yes, and this does not really bother me as long as I am treated normally.
Another goal is to lose a bit of weight so as to better fit in some of the clothes and look better in them.

[Carol A]

I believe I have fulfilled everything I can except going full time and my wife said "no". I have been dressing for 45 years and have gone out about a zillion times and more or less done what ever I wanted.
But to tell the truth I sometime enjoy being drab and trying to dress as shape as I can. :love:

[JOY445]

You know that in the corporate world we are taught to always meet or exceed expectations.. It actually says so on my goals this year... That's why I always set mine so low...

Expectation 1 - wear womens clothing

Expectation 2 - don't die doing Expectation 1.. (Safety thing!!).
you are so subtly amusing, i almost always enjoy your posts! thanks for keeping it light in that dark ironic voice you use

love Joy

[Tranny Tee]

I don't have any real expectations rearding my crossdressing. There are a few things I want to do, such as improving my makeup skills and getting out more often. I do get out and enjoy the experience, I am living the dream.

[Sarah Michelle]

until; Nikki A. pointed out the difference between expectations and one's own goals and objectives. That derailed my answer as I went down the road of why it is that we have to be so precise in the way we use words.

So I have to disagree with Nikki, we do have expectations. Mine are to be able to go out dressed in women's clothing because it is the way that I am comfortable. I want to be able to do it without being commented on by others or challenged about my sexuality. If I thought that I could pass as a woman that would become part of my expectations but I can't so I settle. My goals and objectives are different because they have to be more realistic and based on things that I can control. Ergo Karen H's annual goal-setting exercise, set them low so as to not have to work to hard.
Karen's objective is to achieve her goals
Karen's expectation is that she will achieve her objective because she set it well within range.
So Karen's assessment will be that she meets expectations even though she met all of her goals and objectives. Full circle.... which is why it goes round and round in my head.