Why are crossdresser so hard to find

[maxwildly]

I have been looking for years now to find other people like me. It seem like an impossible act. Every-time I think I find someone that is like me, or someone that is into cross dressing they always seem to turn out being really creepy perverts. Why?

[Jenny Doolittle]

Sorry you have had such bad luck.... but maybe it is where you have looked in the past.

I think the best thing about this site is it is "Real" It is a room that has girls just like myself, talking about issues I deal with everyday, and are not here for some sort of sexual gratification.

I have met a few other girls over the years and the one think I think is key is being sure who you are going to meet. I chat with someone a long time making sure who they are and why they are wanting to meet before actually meeting. I suggest that strategy for yourself.

[Sallee]

good question But most cross dressers I have met are quite nice. But they are to meet You should be able to find some one on this board. Just give it time

[Amanda Stubbs]

Your not looking in the right places!
Everything you need is right here in this forum. Take your time, make some friends, build a trust, you'll soon find what you looking for.

[maxwildly]

I like that their are people out in the world, but I am trying to find people that I can sit down with and talk. Forums and Blogging have never been something that has pulled my interest. I'll give it a try though.

[PretzelGirl]

There are a few ways to get started to meeting others.

First, your profile says you are in Arkansas, but not where. There is a Tri-Ess chapter in Fayetteville. This is great place to meet others and participate in any events they may have. The link to their information:

http://www.tri-ess.org/SSS_chapdir.html#sigmamu

Second, you can go to the forum here titled "Meeting Place" and post with more specific information about your location and see if anyone wants to get together.

Third, Google is your friend. Try searching for Crossdresser groups in Arkansas or other similar searches. Tri-Ess is one of the bigger groups of CDs, but there are certainly others out there.

Good luck!

[Mackenzie]

All of the gals that I have "talked" with on the forum or through PM seem to be very genuine, friendly and kind ladies. I don't sense any of them having perversion as their style or motive.

A survey was done a couple of weeks ago about "preferences". It was found that the ladies weree overwhelmingly non-gay, non-perverted, in fact most were total heterosexual, happily married.

If you are ever in the St. Louis area, please let me know and I would look forward to spending an evening with you.

Mackenzie

[Tomara]

Hi
I would agree that your not looking in the right places.
Try checking out the meeting section of this forum.
Tomara

[Karren H]

It is just so funny... That in our minds, we are the most normal people we know.. And all those other crossdressers are creepy perverts! Lol.

But I admit that I am the same way... And it makes you very leary about "hey let's meet" or "I'm in town want to hook up"... statements! Yeah right!! Hidden adgendas... I have made a few good local crossdressing friends but I am uber cautious about meeting others out of the blue.. Takes time to develope a repore and get to know someone online before I will meet.. The truth is it is just the hazards of the hobby.. If you want to meet other... Make sure your on the same page before you "connect"!!

I'm not that knid of girl! Ha!

[kimdl93]

I'm inately suspicious of other people I meet on line...especially if they seem to be in a hurry to meet.

[Debb]

Hey, you HAVE been successful... maybe you don't realize it yet, though. You've found a lot of supporting, caring folks at crossdressers.com.

The folks here are wonderful. I can vouch for that ... I registered back in 2006, and was active for some time .. then sometime in 2008, I posted a "goodbye" message, saying that I had beaten the devil that is crossdressing into submission. Nobody tried to chide me, saying I would be back.

Obviously, I was wrong. I lasted a whole year, but found the need growing again, at the most inopportune time... since I had thrown out most of my stuff!

Anyway, I'm back now and wanted to welcome you to the forums.

[Nicole Erin]

Every-time I think I find someone that is like me, or someone that is into cross dressing they always seem to turn out being really creepy perverts. Why?

By creepy, do you mean you are paranoid (easy to do) or is it the CD's who are really hairy who throw on some frilly panties and cal themselves a female?

[Alanea]

I have not yet met another cd, but I would like to, and have tried , I don't seem to get past talking on the fourm. I read about others who have met and talked or have a dressing party trying different things and getting a honest opinion of how it looks.
All of which sounds fun just haven't had that opportunity.
:sad::sad:
Alanea Reder

[Andy66]

I'm inately suspicious of other people I meet on line...especially if they seem to be in a hurry to meet.
That's so true. It's part of the reason I don't post my photo. There are some nice people out there, but there are a lot of pervs too. :hiding:

[rian]

I share the same problem as you because I live in a place where this is not allowed...

[Katie Moore]

I've found most people here really really nice. I've had a small % want to have a sexual escapade. After telling them no way jose they quickly say that being friends is ok too and then I don't hear from them again.

:love:

Katie

[NathalieX66]

if someone asks about meeting up, I generally wont do it unless I know their full intentions. I don't do hookups, it's just that simple. There are plenty of CD'd that just want to go out and be themselves, and that's all.

Out & about does NOT mean available.

[Shelly Preston]

I think if you intend to meet someone you should read this first

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93981

[tamarav]

One of the fastest ways to meet people, and maybe a few crossdressers, is to make a sign and hold it up at a busy intersection. If nothing else you will learn some choice wording and new hand signs.

This frorum is an excellent place to meet folks and figure out if you really want to meet with them in person. I have met a number of folks on here that I have eventually gotten to meet in person and had a great time. Many of the other folks out there have a different agenda than you and other thought processes but they are still CDs.

Give it some time, look around, join a local group, go to a convention or a meeting and learn a bit more. You will eventually find others.

[Schatten Lupus]

Just depends on where you've looked and where you are at.

[Gerrijerry]

when I started to want to meet others I joined a safe group I tried TRI ESS. Everyone was wonderful and there was not sexual agender there. All the girls I meet were fun to be with and several wives also attended. That chapther even had a mary Key rep. eachmeeting to help you learn makeup. That was a NY area chapter. It has closed as a tri Ess group now.

[docrobbysherry]

And, I've been online here A LOT the last 2 1/2 years!:brolleyes:

Plus, I physically met many of the girls from CD.com at the SCC in Atlanta. They were ALL super!:)

They were even accepting of the "creepy pervert"! I didn't realize I could be accepted by so many nice CD/TG girls!:o

[Lynn Marie]

"I have been looking for years now to find other people like me."

So just how "like me" are you looking for? We're all at least a little different in nature and tastes and talents. That combined with an innate highly developed sense of paranoia makes making real CD friends a little difficult, but it can be done. I consider myself very fortunate in finding a real friend close by, okay 25 miles close. I've also been snubbed by other CDs even closer. Just part of life in the naked city!

[Frédérique]

I have been looking for years now to find other people like me. It seem like an impossible act. Every-time I think I find someone that is like me, or someone that is into cross dressing they always seem to turn out being really creepy perverts. Why?

I came here to find kindred spirits, but not all crossdressers are the same. It’s an ongoing process trying to find people who share similar feelings, interests, or viewpoints – I’m doing it right now, and it’s a long, tedious process at best. Keep in mind that many members (who may be like you in some way) simply don’t write too much. Just keep probing around, and you’ll find a few friends. The best thing to do is express yourself on some topic – other crossdressers will read your thoughts, and you will establish a connection. Many of us are shy, or a bit tentative about reaching out, so you need to stick your neck out a bit and see what happens. I’m fortunate to have friends from all corners of the site, even though our particular take on crossdressing is wildly divergent – it goes beyond merely dress-up and becomes a search for the internal sensibilities we may share. I’m lucky that I have found a few special souls I can relate to…:)

[Sheila]

Debs and I have met several people from here and we have become really close friends with quite a few of them, one couple that I met from here before Debs and I got together became as family and supported me through the break up of my first TG relationship, they have now become family to both Debs and myself, 5 forum members came to out wedding, one walked me down the Aisle(along with my youngest son) to meet Mr Debs, and another member signed our marriage certificate as a witness.

When Debs and I have our commitment ceremony as Debs & Sheila several members will be there, and our best man and bridesmaids will be from the friends we have made on the forum :)

I think that while we have been lucky in our friends, it is not uncommon, there are a heap of great people in the community & I am soory the ones you have met have turned out not to be among them :sad:

[Mistybtm]

I'm inately suspicious of other people I meet on line...especially if they seem to be in a hurry to meet.

yes i agree with that as well don't like to be rushed :2c:

[noeleena]

Hi, Max.

I spos im a bit different As i deal with a lot of people on a day to day detail. so, as it is i dont meet many dressers because we dont have many here where we Jos & i live,
i know of 5 people, & of those i see is only 2 about once in a few months we dont even have any groups with in 100 miles of here. most of my trans friends are in australia who i have contact with every night . & those on our forums & really thats it.
i see you are a lot younger than i ,
.so the difference is im in womens groups & most of my other friends are women . & that has taken allmost 3 years to be a part of & have those women as friends . it takes time & yes time for others to get to know you & you them,

i know you have groups in the states so as the others have said email them & get on thier web sites like i have & youll meet with some neat people on here in the main most of us are real people & we have contact through our forum .
dont be put off as it does take time to have friendships real ones that is.

...noeleena...

[Angiemead12]

around were i live, most of the cross dressers are flamboyant gay boys, i havnt yet met someone who is in a relationship who cross dresses

[suit]

I used to have an AOL account . the chat rooms for crossdressers ,seemed to me ,were used for hook ups and from what I could tell, many were trolling 4 meet . Aol went from crossdressers were seprate from the G&L groupes to being stuffed right in the midle of them . from the inquires I feilded I dont wonder why . Yea Creapy!

[RichardCD]

I have never met or even seen a crossdresser in public where I live. I have seen a few in New York City but never out here on the Island. Makes me feel like I am all alone out here. I am sure there are more then I can even imagine. Just never seen anyone in public. I don't go out enfem myself.

[Jenniferpl]

Being a private shy person, just coming to terms with it is difficult enough. Meeting others in person would be hard to do. All of the above comments about safety and intentions are right on.

[Tina B.]

Yes it is hard, so many of us are deep in the closet, and it would be hard to tell we are CD's, and we won't tell! I personally have gone to many trans sites and have found even many of them are creepy. Thats why so many of us are here, we don't do creepy here.
Thats not to say we don't have people here that might like more than a handshake, but no one here seems to be here to just hook up, and if two people find a mutual attraction, there is nothing wrong with that. It may not be face to face, but for a lot of us, it's as close as it gets. And if you stick around, who knows, you might get lucky and meet someone from your part of the world, that you can relate to.
Finding someone starts with a simple hello, and then see what you have in common, after all we are a lot more than just the clothes, and after fashion, what else do you share to talk about.
Tina B.

[Krissie1962]

I am very happy dressing as a women .have been most of my life.since I found this site .. I know im not alone in what I feel.now I realy need to find the courage to let Krissie live.. be alive and free from ..??? see there are lots of people who are not what they seem ... wether they are looking for intelectual/sexual input who knows.I so much need to run around in the woods in a sundress and panties it pains me allways.sombody to run with would be nice but for now a nice pink nitie and comfy panties does just fine.:daydreaming:

[sherri52]

Ask here on the forum for anyone close to you and in time you'll havew a few responces.

[joann426]

every body also seems to be in the closet but there is alot of dressers here my sisters told me and where to go dressed i just love my sister:hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

Because we are terrified of being exposed for who we truly are. In the South like you live in it is even worse. The good ole boys network would pummel you to death if you were caught wearing women's clothes. Certain parts of the country are more accepting for some reason.

[mrpink50]

keep checking around but be careful dont fall prey to creeps

[BRANDYJ]

It depends on where you live and what you are looking for. The hard part is not in finding other CD's if you don't mind those that simply want to get together for sex.

Hmm? Same could be said if a GG was asking the question of where to find a man...

Back to the question.
It's hard to find one that has the same degree of interest as you do. Like maybe married to an understanding accepting wife. One that does not want to just jump in the sack etc. I'd love to find other CD's that are in good strong relationships with their SO. One that shares the same or similar ethics or moral values as I do. As a group, we crossdressers are as diverse as any other segment of the population. Just like finding non-CD friends, I would not do well with a guy friend that is into hockey, baseball and basketball, since I'm into golf, fishing and football.
As others have said, we tend to keep it to ourselves about our dressing since we have to be careful of who knows and can they be trusted. so we are somewhat secretive...if we are smart. No need to lose a job or otherwise be outed simply because we want friends. So we are very careful in seeking out others like us.

Locally, there are many CD's on Craig's List. If I was looking for sex with another CD, it could be arranged in an hour! But that's not my cup of tea. So like I said, it depends on what kind of crossdresser you are looking for. What activities you want to share.

I've seen a few cross gendered people in my area, but you surely don't go up and ask them about it or share what you are into. Perhaps the best place is the few clubs that accept us and cater to us. But most of those are gay bars, so even then, you have to be careful of what it is you want to find.

[clandestine322]

Maxwildly,

I can understand as I am from Arkansas myself. It seems most are in the closet here. Little Rock and Fayetteville areas seem to have a lot of crossdressers and other transgender peoples.

[christinek]

And, I've been online here A LOT the last 2 1/2 years!:brolleyes:

Plus, I physically met many of the girls from CD.com at the SCC in Atlanta. They were ALL super!:)

They were even accepting of the "creepy pervert"! I didn't realize I could be accepted by so many nice CD/TG girls!:o

You know I love you! Cant wait to see you again in September!

[jenna_woods]

sorry to here that most crossdressers I have met have been very nice

[Lover girl]

That is a good one and as many before have said it already. Take it slow and get to know!!!! When you find someone and you will, Meet in a public place!! I placed an add on the meet and greet section and seem to have found some very nice ladys out there. I even went to meet a lady from this site and she was great. Not at all creepy!! Not all are what they seem to be. Use caution at all times. try to let friends know where your going and with who. I wish you luck in your search. Just make sure that your looking in the right places!!! If you find yourself in the Minneapolis, MN area I would meet with you. After I get to know more about you first!!!!!

[Kelly DeWinter]

You are going about it all wrong ! You have to place a pair of strappy heels and a cute little black dress in a public place. Then you have to throw a wig over their head when they start circleing. Be careful though, they tend to get fiesty if anything clashes.


Kelly

[felesaerius]

By all means, I'm here if you'd like to chat! My sn on yahoo is 'felesaerius' (without the quotes). There's also an IRC channel that... doesn't have a whole lot of CD's on it, but I'm one of the main ones on there, so we should grow! Feel free to message me. :-)

[Stephenie S]

You DO know how. You have found them already. There are hundreds and hundreds right here. PM people you would like to meet. Pay some attention to where people are located. Don't try to make friends with someone in California if you live in DC. And remember, some here are really freaked out at the thought of ANYONE knowing who they are, so you will get some rejections. But there are many here who are very friendly and who may be lonely too. Just go for it. I have made many good friends on this forum, but you have to be willing reach out.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[BRANDYJ]

I love this site and have made some really good friends. Unfortunately, I have not met any local to spend real time with. But like someone else said, you do have to be careful. As much as I love this site. maybe the fault is with some of the members not putting their general location if not the city they live in, in their profile. Also it would help to see ages in the profile pages. I have nothing against younger or older CD's, but to find friends with something (other then dressing) in common, usually is someone in your own age group. So many do not even list a state let alone a general area of their state. And what's with not listing your age? It sure woudl help you and everyone looking for friends locally.

[carhill2mn]

[QUOTE]I have been looking for years now to find other people like me. It seem like an impossible act. Every-time I think I find someone that is like me, or someone that is into cross dressing they always seem to turn out being really creepy perverts. Why? [QUOTE]

I do not know what you mean when you say "like me". CDs are a very diverse group. For more than a decade I have made attempts to develope relationships with CDs who at least have some of the same interests as I do. I have belonged to two local groups, have contacted many from various sites, etc. including those who live within about a 40 mile area of me.

I have found some with whom I feel comfortable. Unfortunately, most of them live in other states. Many "local" CDs seem to prefer the "bar scene" which is not my "thing" or are interested in a type of relationship that is more than just friends. There are some local CDs with whom I feel comfortable. However, it is very difficult to get together with them on any regular basis (with one or two exceptions) for whatever reasons. Many say "Yes, they want to meet" but then do not show up.

I suppose all one can do is keep trying and hoping.

[Jennaie]

Have you looked in the closet?

[Danamtv]

I have been looking for years now to find other people like me. It seem like an impossible act. Every-time I think I find someone that is like me, or someone that is into cross dressing they always seem to turn out being really creepy perverts. Why?Any support groups in your area? Most are incredibly helpful.

[Andromeda]

You have come to the right place to get your answer. However, for future reference it would be helpful if you would give us more information to work with. For example what are you and what are you looking for. One size does not all in this community? A simple cross dresser is not the same as a transvestite much less a transsexual. What do you consider to be a creepy pervert? Where have you been looking? Information of this sort will help us target our answers.

[Jenny J]

Have you looked in the closet?

Or any Department store Women's section. Let's see, Kohl's, Lane Bryant, Macy's and Dress Barn to name a few.

I'll bet half the men in there are looking for a nice dress or skirt

Jen

:rose2:

[sterling12]

OK, here's a cleaver trick on how to avoid these "Perverts." Do not utilize websites that begin or feature The Term, "Nasty Trannies" in their Homepage! Also, it is wise to avoid "Hook-Up Sites" that feature people who immediately list their height and weight and what they "do." (i.e. If your respondent says she's "bi," believe her....she wants to be Bi with you!) Same thing if you new friend claims some kind of acquaintance with two Countries: one is in The Middle of Europe and periodically gets overrun by The Germans, and The Other Country sits on The Mediterranean and they drink a lot of Ouzo.

Now you know what to avoid! Now, you have to find out where most of The Gurls in your area hang out. Trust me, it's around, you just have to find it. Learn to be liberal, learn to be non-judgemental. When you find your local Groups and Hangouts, you will meet a variety of people with different lifestyles...they can't make you participate in anything you don't want to participate in. So, just keep your mind open, and among all the people you will meet you'll find new friends who aren't interested in sexual escapades.

I'm kind of amazed! I can't imagine how you haven't met some people to your liking, there are so many of us out there. Lets try a new Game Plan, obviously the old one isn't working.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[btelchy]

I too am finding it nearly impossible to find any other cd's. The funny part is.. I waited nearly 20 years to do so, but now that I choose to reach out and find someone else, it is extremely difficult.