I feel Im alone

[rian]

Being a crossdresser in an enviroment which do not allow such act , limit my activity at home only with a very secret closet dressing ....I feel I need to do more to show my feminen to the world but it is hostile ,,,Im not Gay I love to be a woman ....I have opened finally to my wife and she did not mind at all ...and she bought me lot of undies and gave lot of hers lingeries ...most of the time we share ours ...but I still need more ...need the exposure ....need to shave every thing instead of only my legs so that people wont notice ....I love to put make up ....make some breasts ,with complete dressing ...I feel Im fighting alone ....No out door crossdressing , as if it was written to be in secret ...even my wife told not to go outside afraid of exposure and humilation from the people ...

[Jonianne]

I'm sorry Riana. You must feel very alone. It's so good you have a supportive wife, though! I hope you do find a way to express your feminity in a safe environment, besides just at home. You have a lot of support from us here on the forum.

Could you take a vacation to a country that is more open?

[susanaCD1988]

i also want to be a woman thats why i dress like one however i also keep it a secret because of fear of what would happened and it kills me cause i want everybody to know but it is not possible so i think i understand what u are feeling so if u ever want to talk send me a message after all ive been told i am a great listener.:)

[Amanda Stubbs]

I do feel sorry for you living in a cd hostile country, I'm sure it's very frustrating for you but HEY! you have a caring and understanding wife! Many of us who live in more tolerant countries would give our 'eye teeth' to have such a woman.

I know the Burka is popular in many eastern cultures could you not desguise yourself until you got out to somewhere in the countryside where you could enjoy yourself for a bit?

[Annalise]

You are not alone in what you are feeling because I feel something similar.
I don't want you to feel this way. You deserve to be happy with who you are.

I too would like some validation in public. Its very conservative in a southern state. I can't shave my body as much as I would love to. I have a full beard and have to ignore every other male looking part of my body when I dress. I would love to wear make up and have beautiful long hair. But I can't. I'm honestly scared to make such abrupt changes. You already do more by shaving your legs. All the talk of joking about not being straight and how wrong it is. I AM straight. I love to be a woman at times. There is an indivual in my building that all the guys make fun of because he is undergoing a public gender transformation and is involved in many things like belly dancing and what not. I admire her. I never agree with what they say I just get quiet and I am screaming on the inside how much I admire her and how brave she is. I wish I had that much courage. Life calls for courage no matter what the situation may be. Out of that will come happiness. I know it is cliche but to love yourself and what you are capable of is to love the world and everything you are given a chance to do. Some times you need to take the risks in life that seem like you won't survive because its faith in yourself that will allow that seemingly 1 % of good chance to prevail. Things also take patience. If something you are so passionate about is eating you from the inside and you just want to tear it out and show it to the world, then that is exactly what you need to do. If the world doesn't say its ok, then you keep doing it until it does. I admire you for even wanting to do what you want to do as I am still nervous about dressing in my own home sometimes. You seem brave to me. From what you said I can tell that this is building inside you. Never be afraid to take charge of things. It's already in your heart to do so by coming out to your SO and even dressing by itself. If you need a kind stranger to say you can do it, well... YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

[Christina2008]

You are not alone because we are all here for you. Glad your wife is accepting.

[Michaela42]

Rian (lovely name by the way)
I will not make light of your situation by saying that I understand your situation, but like Annalise said, I too live in an area that is pretty hostile to any sort of difference. Of course neither I nor Annalise would face anything like what you would face if you were discovered, but the fear is there. One of the ways that I have found to cope with not being able to dress in public/more openly is that I enjoy writing about it. Mostly for my own, but I have been known to post a few stories on various website. PM me if you would like a few of them. Writing does not make the feelings go away, but it does help. I sincerely wish you and your wonderfully supportive wife the best and I hope that my advice helps you at least a little. Remember, you are not alone, we are all here for you. :hugs:

[Midnight Skye]

Rian... I have the utmost respect for you. I can't imagine going through the feelings I have in an environment where it is clearly hostile. I'm sorry for your situation... and I wish you the best. I would give your wife a huge hug... and follow her advice. Unfortunately sometimes the outside world restricts us in ways we can't resist. But it sounds like you have freedom under your roof... and sometimes that blessing is enough.

[Frédérique]

I feel Im fighting alone ....No out door crossdressing , as if it was written to be in secret ...even my wife told not to go outside afraid of exposure and humilation from the people ...

It’s the same here, with a slightly different mindset evident in the populace, so secrecy needs to be cultivated for reasons of survival. I’m not a fighter, but I need to say you’re not “fighting” alone. Collectively, people will fall back on group-think and resist any lifestyle contrary to what they have been brought up to believe. It takes time and effort to change such innate precepts – personally, I do not wish to burden “normal” people with my alternative self. I would just like to enjoy crossdressing and leave it at that, but this is because of the humiliation I could (or would) suffer from exposure. Being CD is a beautiful existence, so I want to preserve this magic – I stay indoors for the most part, only venturing out when I feel relatively safe…:battingeyelashes:

[Sheila]

Sorry you are feeling so alone and because your geographical location adds to your feeling of aloneness Jonianne makes a good suggestion if it is possible :)


Could you take a vacation to a country that is more open?

Failing that, is there perhaps any way you can discreetly inquiries as to local dressers in your country/local area ( our meeting place on the forum may be a good place to start :)) or perhaps as Amanda suggests you could get out into the countryside & maybe your wife would be willing to help you there if you perhaps did it as a camping trip, I know it would not be ideal, but at least Rian would get to feel the sun on her skin and walk around in the fresh air.

Sending you :hugs:

[Mistybtm]

I agree take a vacation out of your area and have some fun with your fem side. or even a weekend get-away.:2c:

[Girl]

Riana, I'm really sorry to hear that you feel so alone. I want to add my voice to the others here who've offered you their support. I hope you feel a little less alone when you're on this site with all the wonderful girls.
I can understand your feeling of lonliness. Even though I come from a very liberal European country (Sweden) where crossdressing is generally accepted, I have for years been in a self-imposed loneliness because of my shyness. It's only because of the inspiration and encouragement of the girls here that I've begun to open out to some people. I hope you can also feel the warm feelings of support from the girls too.
Best wishes - I hope things improve for you!
Lots of hugs,
Girl x

[Angiemead12]

Hello Rian, I feel your pain, thats why we are online here, to find support and to know were not alone.

I have been out once but still am very scared to do it again. I may venture to another country instead to let my self explore my feminine side more.

I hope you find happiness here. :hugs:

[sterling12]

I don't know what Country your located in, but I would like to offer some practical advise. "You may feel like your alone...but your not." "I don't care how repressive, how intolerant your Country may be, there will still be Transgendered People who live there." "Even during The Worst Repressions in China and Russia, even in so called Religious Theocracies, there are people who are just like us!" We are a Worldwide Phenomenon. They can hate us, break our bones, kill us, but it wouldn't change. Many Transgendered people must allow That Femme-Self to exist. To repress and deny, is to court Insanity.

OK, so how to solve your problem. I think virtually every Country in The World has some type of Social-Contact Web Sites. Perhaps you can find people that way, just be very careful, keep your anonymity, and go slow. In even The Most Repressive Societies, people who are marginalized are just driven "underground," but those Underground Societies usually flourish and grow stronger under The Suppression. You may have to stick your neck out and "make contact." Always Remember, your person contacted has a great deal to protect also. I think you will find discretion is expected and received.

Places where you might start? Universities? Hangouts for The Intelligentsia? And even in Suppressive Societies, the usual "control" mechanism is to isolate people into Entertainment Ghetto's. So where is that District in one of your big cities?

I have no doubt, you will have to be secretive, very smart, and use a lot of guile. But, do you want to continue like you now feel? Want to spend your life feeling alone? I will keep you in My Thoughts.....Good Luck!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Yvonne York]

Hope you feel less on your own knowing us girls are here for you. I too have an understanding wife, and I get more out of being a crossdresser thanks to what we share. But the girls here are soooooooooooo supportive. Glad you are here - it makes life better for us all.

[Joanne f]

I am sorry to hear of your situation , for some the need to have contact with others while dressed can be as big a need as the dressing it`s self if not more sometimes , it`s that need for completion of something you need to do and although some do not understand this it is a real need , i hope you can fulfill it one day .

[olga]

Hi Rian,

Please tell your wife how wonderful she is!

I know this is a long shot and probably crazy idea, but have you ever thought about requesting asylum abroad?

The [California] Ninth Circuit has recognized transgender people’s ability to apply for asylum based on gender identity persecution.

http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/pdf/ca_trans_law_101_overview.pdf


olga

[Karren H]

I thought it would be easier with a Burka to go out enfemme in a middle eastern country... all they see are your eyes..... depending on the country...

[eluuzion]

"Those who really want to do something will always find a way. Those that do not will always find an excuse."
(not sure of author)

Not intended to be a denial of your personal dilemma or suggesting any disrespect on my part. It is just another version of "Where there is a will, there is a way".

I think there are two approaches to life. You can spend it trying to change the world in difficult areas and be miserable when you cannot. Or you can acknowledge the things the world does not accept, and find a way to do what you want anyway...and be happy. ("Pick your battles carefully, not all are worth fighting")

You don't have to give up, give in, or grow up. You just have to work around the obstacles. If you have a beard as a lady, join the circus. If you are a munchkin, move to Munchkinville. If you are the "only one", start your own city. If you are not creative, find somebody who is and join them.

I am not advocating running away, I am just saying "find a way." There is usually one out there if you look hard enough. If not, create your own. Whatever you decide to do, if you want to be happy, never give up.

that's just me...

[sherri52]

Riana; where you live you must truly feel alone. I would hope this would change for you but I think it is a very long way away. If a vacation is in your future you might wish to take it elsewhere so you may enjoy the freedom of being a woman at least for a short time.

[SusanLeigh3454]

Rian - Like the other woman have said, you have a loving and supportive wife which is more than what others have. Your country's customs aside, many of us have careers, marriages, and friendships that would be lost if our passion for dressing became known. Times are changing. America has a Black president, and slowly, there will be acceptance of cross-dressing. Be thankful that there are support groups, even online, to help you through the rough spots.

[MrKunk]

I think there are two approaches to life. You can spend it trying to change the world in difficult areas and be miserable when you cannot. Or you can acknowledge the things the world does not accept, and find a way to do what you want anyway...and be happy. ("Pick your battles carefully, not all are worth fighting."

Totally agree here society sets what is normal but honesty how the **** do they know what is normal?

[Alice Torn]

Life is rough for many of us, who must keep it secret. I would say having a supportive wife, would be even nicer, than being able to go out in public. I only go out in public about once a year. Fear.

[AKAMichelle]

You live in a tough culture. Not very accepting of most things associated with the west.

The only suggestion that I can give you is to consider moving to a more westernized country where you are more likely to be accepted.