Just wanted to share.

[Mirani]

As a "non-op transwoman" (I live 24/7 as a woman) I am sometimes envious of those with the courage to undergo all the challenges, hurdles and pain to be who they are.
I don't know, if I am honest, whether the reason I don't seek to transition is fear or lack of motivation. Probably a mixture. Who knows what the future may bring?

Anyway, I do a lot of surfing - trying to understand me and gain insight. One of the sites I have looked at contains this.
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html

It certainly enthused me and encouraged me, hence I share it.

PS, found this too (FtM)
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TransMen.html

[GypsyKaren]

You shouldn't sell yourself short, I think it takes more courage to live the life than it does to have the surgery.

GK

[SirTrey]

Yep, I completely agree with Karen....And things all happen in stages....What you want now, where you ARE in this now, may or may not change....just know that it can...But Karen is right....You are doing the hard stuff now....Having the surgery is not nearly as hard as living the life is.....:thumbsup::drink:

[Mirani]

Thanks GK and Trev,

But I have to say, my SO has been my guide, protector, encourager, coach. I think she knows me better than I know myself.
Amanda knew me for years before we "got it together" and knew I was Trans (she had seen me one night when I was "out" and recognised me. She didn't leak that she knew until the right moment.
She let me know it was best for me to be on the outside the person I am on the inside.
She supports me in the workplace (we are co-directors of our company), in the world and at home. It isn't a "one way street" as I lover her to bits and support her dreams and wishes. (We do have our disagreements, but as I know she was always right, things turn out OK :))
Thanks again for the kindness, but I need to give credit where credit is due.
And I remain in awe of MtF and FtM seeking, undertaking or completing SRS.
(Amanda says I am pre-menopausal at the mo!).

[subaru_forster]

Non-op TG with 24/7 aspirations here.

We are who we are, and nobody has the right to use your "pee pee parts" against you. The way I see it: any difference between you and a GG (let alone post-op TS) is nobody's business except for you, your SO, and your doctor.

I talked with my therapist about what to expect from being non-op. He said that though it's more common amongst FtMs, I'm not alone in this. For me, I avoid operations for health concerns. I won't even touch hormones unless I'm convinced that they will mean the difference between passing and not passing. (According to my therapist's experience, they almost never do).

Anyway, my point is this: a pre-op TS is rightfully offended if someone tells her that she's "not a woman yet". She's a woman regardless of when or if she had that surgery. You and I are no different.

[Teri Jean]

Mirani, the first web site is one I am familier with and the third page, Barb Nash has been somewhat an inspiration as has all the ladies there. Although they are wonderful in their own right my decission to transition is mine and only mine. What ever you deside has to be yours and not because someone else has been there before.

Hugs Teri

[Mirani]

Mirani, What ever you deside has to be yours and not because someone else has been there before.
Hugs Teri

Indeed.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Thanks GK and Trev,

But I have to say, my SO has been my guide, protector, encourager, coach. I think she knows me nbetter than I know myself.
Amanda knew me for years before we "got it together" and knew I was Trans (she had seen me one night when I was "out" and recognised me. She didn't leak that she knew until the right moment.
She let me know it was best for me to be on the outside the person I am on the inside.
She supports me in the workplace (we are co-directors of our company), in the world and at home. It isn't a "one way street" as I lover her to bits and support her dreams and wishes. (We do have our disagreements, but as I know she was always right, things turn out OK :)).


My situation exactly. I thank God every day for my supportive and inspiring wife.

Like you, I don't know if I will even have SRS. Not saying it is out of the question but NOW in my life, I can't imagine being happier or more content with myself as a pre-op transsexual woman. For me the hormones have been a miracle as well as my decision to live 24/7 as the woman I have know within for a long time.

[JenniferB]

Like you, I don't know if I will even have SRS. Not saying it is out of the question but NOW in my life, I can't imagine being happier or more content with myself as a pre-op transsexual woman. For me the hormones have been a miracle as well as my decision to live 24/7 as the woman I have know within for a long time.
I am kinda in the same situation as you. I went 24/7 last October and although it's been wonderful for the most part, there have been obstacles.
I'm just not 100% resigned to SRS right now. I'm not ruling it out, I'm just taking my time. Yes, the hormones, and implants have made a huge difference.

[Hope]

One of the first things I read here is still one of the most insightful... and I don't remember who wrote it originally, but feel free to take credit if it is yours:

No matter how you go about living this life, closeted, out, part time, full time, fully transitioned or non-transitioned, it takes a LOT of courage, one set of choices does not take more courage than the other, one is not more right than another, and one does not make you any more or less trans than another. You have to do what is right for you and make the best of it that you can.

[GypsyKaren]

The hardest thing I've ever done was to take that first step out the door on the first day of going full time, the surgery was a piece of cake compared to that...I actually slept through the whole thing, now that's easy.

GK

[JenniferB]

The hardest thing I've ever done was to take that first step out the door on the first day of going full time, the surgery was a piece of cake compared to that...I actually slept through the whole thing, now that's easy.

GK
You're a lot braver than I am. The thought of getting on a plane and going halfway around the world literally scares the hell out of me.

[Melissa A.]

Thanks for the links, Mirani, I enjoyed them. But ya know what? The girls are right. You're living your life, and being you. That, my dear, means you have done something most people never have: Found who you are, and accepted her. Whatever you decide to do from here on out, that will always be a part of you. Be proud.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[GypsyKaren]

You're a lot braver than I am. The thought of getting on a plane and going halfway around the world literally scares the hell out of me.

They give out free booze on trans-pacific flights, now that made it all worthwhile.

GK

[Deborah_UK]

I was at school in the 60s and 70s with one of the women on that first link of Mirani's.

Neither of us knew that the other was Trans back then, yet we gravitated towards each other as friends. I often wonder how life may had panned out had the times been more open and we had been able to confide in each other back then.

[Katesback]

If I were a gambler I would put my money on you not getting SRS because you have a SO. Furthermore if you two separated I would bet that SRS would all of a sudden be more of a focal point.

Katie

[Karen564]

I've been a longtime fan of Lynn's site..

And love the Trans success pages..which many of those women are the ones that gave me the courage to come out & be myself.

And still love chatting with Gina G. today, who's on the 1st page..she left face book, but we still stay in touch ..

Whether you have the surgery or not doesn't define you as a woman anyways, it's what's inside you that counts..if your happy being a pre op, there's no need to have the op really & your in very good company...Some need it, some don't..
:hugs:

[AllieSF]

Mirani,

As others have already said, you have done the hard part. The physical changes will be the easiest. Both parts of the transition carry their own difficulties and risks. However, in my opinion, the emotional risks of coming out and living full time are far greater than the physical risks associated with man made physical changes (HRT and physical changes from surgeries). You are who you are inside and no one can change that. Hiding it has to take serious tolls on those that keep it all inside. Being able to liberate yourself is what seems to me to be so important, and you have done just that. Whether you decide for some follow-on work on your body or not, is only important if you feel that is important. Thanks for sharing your insights and personal feelings.

[Jorja]

I have been a fan of Lynn's site for a long time now. I have met several of the ladies shown there at one time or another. I think it is great to have our community represented and shown in such a positive way. From someone that is 20 years post op, I want each and everyone of you to know that you can do or be what ever you want to do or be. I for example own an architectural design and construction company. That is my thing. That was one of my dreams.

As for whether or not one should have srs or not, honey that is a decision you and your SO need to make together. Some of us feel the need from a very young age and it is never a question of should I or shouldn't I but how can I. What ever you do, make the decision because it is right for you and no one else. You should also know that having srs doesn't necessarily mean everything is going to be right with the world when you wake up. Some things are constant. Life sucks! It is what you do with it that makes the difference.

[Ze]

Just wanted to say I really appreciate this thread (and the links), Mirani. :) I used to feel not "trans enough" because I don't have plans to "fully" transition, but after some existential writing, I feel much better about myself. :) I hope you do, too. :hugs: Like everyone has said, the surgeries and hormones aren't where it's at; it's the courage to just live.

[Mirani]

I am indebted to all of you who have understood and encouraged me. As some have said, it is unlikely I will undertake SRS.
I did sort of feel like a "second class" transwoman because a REAL TW goes through SRS. Therfore, I do not qualify for the club.

Its funny 'cos I never thought of myself as havcing low self-esteem, but I suppose that is what it was.

Anyway as far as I am concerned, my SO, my wonderful supportive workforce, and the world I present myself to, I am Mira, head held high - female in spirit and happy to be seen and responded to as a woman. :)

My stay in the hospital for prostate surgery (such a male problem!) will be so very interesting! I wonder what they will say whilst I am "under"? ;)

[pamela_a]

I did sort of feel like a "second class" transwoman because a REAL TW goes through SRS. Therfore, I do not qualify for the club

Mirani, a REAL transwoman goes through all of the work, pain, hardship, loss, joy, freedom, understanding, and peace to be able to finally live as who she really is. It has nothing to do with what is under your skirt and everything to do with what you have in your heart.

:hugs:

[chris80]

Mirani, you have always looked far too young for prostate problems.
I hope all goes well with the surgery,and that you don't end up with that other common woman's problem of incontinence!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Good luck with your procedure...

I understand your feelings, but i agree that you are just doing what's right for you...being trans sucks, and all you can do is try to improve your quality of life, and you've obviously done that...many of us can't seem to even get that far..

the scariest part is being out there...you have nothing to fear but......

oops that one doesnt work for us...

[Katesback]

Sis:

I have personally met pre-op girls that were messes and I have met pre-op girls that were 100% woman!

The same thing applies for post-op girls. Some have been messes (even as far as living some of thier lives as presenting a man), and some have thier stuff toghether.

I personally do not use SRS status as a defining factor and when I work with trans people I do not even ask! Not my business!

Katie

[Empress Lainie]

My status is very likely non-op due to age, diabetes, and having had heart surgery and a pacemaker, but as has been said, what is under my skirt is no one's business but mine and a lover's (if any!) and my doctors. I am fully a woman and live and work as such and it doesn't change whether or not I have orchie or SRS.

[Mirani]

...being trans sucks, and all you can do is try to improve your quality of life, and you've obviously done that...many of us can't seem to even get that far...

Thanks for your good wishes - but I can agree with above for me.

Being trans has brought me satisfaction and a partner who loves me. :)

[JenniferB]

what is under my skirt is no one's business but mine and a lover's

That is a good point about what's under the skirt.
There's a large part of me that wants to go ahead and have SRS, but of course it's not covered by insurance, so there's that concern. I'm just glad to be living 24/7 femme at this point.