I quit, or maybe not

[Bonnie]

Just wondering , how many of you have quit crossdressing only to start again a few days later. It happens to me once and awhile. Just a few day ago, I quit. Threw everything out. O my god, do you know how much I had, and how much to replace it all. Well I know now. Just REordered my breast forms for the 3rd time, 3rd time girls. Just reordered my heels and now to start shopping all over. Am I alone here on this, have any others here gone throught this. O well enough whinning. Off to the shops, Again ,,Love, Bonnie

[Tristen Cox]

Hi Bonnie,
Oh I have purged and regretted it so. It's perfectly natural. But I think you'll be hesitant the next time. Happy shopping to you.

[Wen4cd]

I still have the first blouse and skirt I ever dressed up in. But I'm a bit of a packrat.

Wen

[PaulaJeanette]

Ladies:

The only benefit to purging is having to go shopping and getting all new clothes. Other than that, it is the pits because of the expense. Rather than purge, store it!

Paula J.

[clarissa3d]

I have purged more times than I care to count. I learned to stop that. It was not good my mind and for the purse.

I had to realize that you cannot throw away apart of your insides or appart of you sole as it where....

remember you are who you are. No one can take that away from you.

Clarissa

[Bernadina]

I'm not sure why anyone would want to purge anyway.

Unless, as it was suggested by Paula, to have the fun (and expense) of shopping and buying all over again (I could get into that if I was loaded).

Purging almost makes it sound like some CDers look at CDing as being some kind of health threatening addiction or a disease trying to be cured.

I find for the most part, CDers are more balanced, more personable and more in control of their lives than a lot other male types I know. CDers don't tend to get drunk in the bars, beat people or wives up or commit serious crimes.

I believe that everyone of us is a mixture of male and female and that honouring our female aspect make us more human.

My 2 cents worth.

[Stelli]

Thank you Dina, I believe that your description of CD in social environment is essential. Maybe we are trying to deny masculine principle because we carry both, one by birth one by mind, but nevertheless social aspect is worth noting. If we are to extrapolate this what we would expect from "straight" male population after we are accepted as part of it? I bet not a single one here would like to see GMGMNCD ( Genetic Male, Gender Male, Non Cross Dressing ) to dissappear ... ?!?

[JessicaGirl1234]

I think we have all felt like quitting at one time or another and sometimes even do. But we always come back because of how much fun it is.

[Stelli]

I have purged only once. I was in my 20ties and I believed that this was just a weird game of my mind and that since it was satisfied it will not appear any more. Now I know that this was mistake. It doesnot work that way.

Over years I understood that this is something that doesnot go away, and became desire that is apearing now and then with different intensities, yet to me it was so personal that only few people knew (Almost all my girlfriends kew as is my current wife). Even now I am open only to some but at this time I find it as part of who I am.

Now, I experience feelings that I never did before and what is more interesting to me is that I recall experiences and understanding being dressed or not. These days I often feel being crossdressed as a boy as I would switch in an instant from one personality to another without need for dressing. To me it means that I have advanced towards greater self acceptance.

Dressing (as girl) helps often to feel appropriate, but also I feel appropriate dressed at other times too, not necesserily in girls outfit. I pointed here couple of times that sometimes I feel crossdressed in boys outfit althrough that would be natural for my genetic sex, but how would you describe if you have girls feelings and you dress as a boy ??!??

Very rarely I do dress if I do not feel as girl, thus being inappropriate dressed as girl is much less chance to happen but I do feel sometimes like that too.

But I definitively learned not to throw everything away because at times I cannot accept my other part... No this doesnot happen any more, on the contrary if I do not feel dressing my fem things are neatly stored waiting in my dressers to be used when appropriate. No purging ever again! And it is not about money. I have some pieces that are dear to me because they remind me of some situations, you cannot buy that.

Aside, my friend points this: The skirt chose you, not that you chose skirt. And I believe her as I am slowly starting to understand that there is another way of understanding things around us.

[Marda]

Hi Ladies

Anyone who wasn't socialized to "believe" CD/TG was "Wrong & Sick", and anyone who hasn't "miraculously" survived a suicide attempt probably won't quite understand the anxiety and futility of a "need to purge" ...

***
Anyone who thinks they want to purge ... please don't throw everything out ... please contact me ... I'll gladly pay shipping & handling within North America to rebuild my missing wardrobe ... bra size approx 38B to 40A ... nylon slips, camis, nighties, peignoirs etc approx 40 top / lg-xlg bot ... OB girdles approx 2-3X depending on brand/model ... I'm OK for panties unless you have some seldom or never worn HiGrade Vintage Stuff ... I have long arms re blouses ...

Love / Marda

[windycissy]

I have thrown away complete wardrobes, maybe four or five times, only to paintakingly replace them. The clothes are no big deal, but the wigs! And prescription eyeglasses in women's frames! And the makeup...it's fun to shop for clothes once you're dressed as a girl, but putting together a wardrobe from scratch is a pain, which first-timers know only too well. So it must come as a surprise some of you to learn that those of us who have been at this for a while sometimes put ourselves in the position where we have to start all over again. Fortunately, I've reached the stage where I'm comfortable with my "better half" so I don't think I'll be deep-sixing her again...Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

[Miss Vicki]

I have purged a few times over the years. Once because my wife found my stash and another when I decided that I wanted to "just quit". As you all know, I have restocked and thanks to ebay and the internet have another collection of under and outer wear.
I am thinking about purging again soon as I am getting older and a few of my friends have passed away recently. If something were to happen to me, I would not like my son to find my stash. Does anyone feel the same? I think that although I enjoy this part of my life, I do not want my family to only remember my crossdressing habits when I am gone.
Maybe I am trying to convince myself to change. Maybe I need to meet someone in person that supports this part of me. I don't know right now.

Oh well. One day at a time.

[~Tammy~]

----------------------------------------------------------
purge ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pûrj)
v. purged, purg·ing, purg·es
v. tr.

To free from impurities; purify.
To remove (impurities and other elements) by or as if by cleansing.
To rid of sin, guilt, or defilement.
To become pure or clean.
----------------------------------------------------------

I only ever purged during my teens. Not being able to hide much from my parents, if I saw some new clothes I liked I would have throw something out to make room in my little hiding place.

Now, I look forward to the day I can purge all of 'his' clothes. As the definition above clealy shows. To rid of sin and guilt, become pure and clean. To be free from impurities. To be free from crossdressiing in 'his' clothes.

~Tammy~

[Amelie]

Bonnie, I think all the girls have purged at some point in their lives. I have purged, not because I felt it was wrong to dress, or that society says your sick if you dress. I had no feelings of guilt. I purged just because I get times of depression in my life. Not only fem items, but some male items go out the window. I get angry at life, at the hand I was dealt, why was God playing a joke on me, is how I felt. There were times I would stay in bed for days, not wanting to get up. I didn't talk to people, I felt like a zombie. Don't be concerned with purging, you can always buy more clothes, but find out what is causing you to purge, then you can handle it better.

Love Amelie

[Rachel_740]

Hi Girls,

I've (sorry, he's) just got back from a day out with the kids at a small theme park near me. It was a great day, for the kids and for him, as far as the kids go, but he was looking around all day at the clothes the guys were wearing then the clothes the girls were wearing.

The guys have a choice of sweatshirt or T shirt in the colours blue, black, khaki and white. They have a choice of jeans or zip off pants in the colours blue, black, khaki and a few in stone.

The girls have all the above, plus all pastel colours, pinks, multi-coloured stripes, checks etc. They also have ski-pants, tight jeans, slack jeans, slacks, capri pants, short skirts, medium skirts, long skirts, dresses (again all lengths), all of which come in different materials, cotton, polyester, denim, wool, nylon and so on. The girls tops also come in halter necks, narrow straps, wide straps, no straps and any number of other different combinations of things.

Oh, I so wanted to be able to be out there today, instead of him.

As Tammy says, I look forward to being able to purge HIS clothes and have a full, 'real' wardrobe

Rachel

[Jennifer_Ph]

Lol Rachel!!! Purge HIS clothes. That's awesome!! Your post makes a very well made point!

[Victoria Pink]

I am struggling with this very question right now myself. The other day I boxed up everything and was vowing to quit. Why? Well, it seems as I get older (now 51) I want to do more and more. In earlier years I was happy to just wear panties. Now I find I want to dress completely and even go out in public. I've toyed with shopping at a lingerie store, and also shopping for dresses while dressed fully en femme.

Where will this all lead me? My wife has been accepting, but as this grows she is beginning to "pull away". This is too much for her. What if someone found out? My wife and family would be devastated.

Like Miss Vicki I wonder what would happen if someone found my stash of wigs, breasts and clothes. They would not understand.

For me, it seems better to quit.

Victoria

[ChristineRenee]

I purged only one time...almost 20 years ago. Back then I only had one suitcase full of stuff. I started to rebuild the wardrobe less than a month later and have never looked back.

When you have those feelings, it is much better to just store the clothes somewhere rather than purge everything. In time the guilt will be overcome by the realization that this IS a part of you and something chosen for you and not by you. The reality is that you are very fortunate as a male that you are able to recognize the feminine side of your being and are able to be so much more of a complete person as a result of this. Do NOT let societal pressures make you feel less of a man because you are able to acknowledge the woman in you. Society is wrong...not you. We are the lucky ones as we have been given a gift of insight that probably all males have but many continue to deny it's existence of.

The sooner you begin to look at this as the very positive phenomenon that it truly is, the less guilt you will associate with it which in turn will eliminate your conflict over whether or not to purge your collection.


Remember too...that you are not alone and will always have friends here for support and encouragement.

xoxoxoxo,

Christine

[Darby]

I'm not sure why anyone would want to purge anyway.

Unless, as it was suggested by Paula, to have the fun (and expense) of shopping and buying all over again (I could get into that if I was loaded).

Purging almost makes it sound like some CDers look at CDing as being some kind of health threatening addiction or a disease trying to be cured.

I find for the most part, CDers are more balanced, more personable and more in control of their lives than a lot other male types I know. CDers don't tend to get drunk in the bars, beat people or wives up or commit serious crimes.

I believe that everyone of us is a mixture of male and female and that honouring our female aspect make us more human.

My 2 cents worth.




Dina,
You are a saint! I have always said that if most guys explore or just accept that they have a fem side, the world would be a better place!
Bonnie, I'm sorry you purged! You should have emailed me! Next time you feel that way, email me and we should try hard to get together!

[elizabethb1]

Bonnie, I know how you feel. I have quit several times and thrown away my things only to eventually come back. I actually quit for over ten years and came back only to find out much I missed the feeling I get from dressing up. So you are not alone I think we all felt like you did some time or another. Welcome back and enjoy while you can.

[starlitsky]

i think i almost purged once (only semi-purged) because i could not reconcile the CD part of my life with my "real" life ... but i've come to accept it and live with it. and now, with this wonderful support from the forum, and the advice not to purge ... i don't think i will.

then again, i'm such a packrat :rolleyes: ... i don't think i'd throw anything out

[Jocee]

I thnok "purging" is one of the most common "threads" in many of us. I purged an uncountable number to times in my life, that is until I finally accepted who I am -- Now...... I'm a pack-rat extraodinaire (sp?) and can't seem to throw anything away.....

Joanna

[Missy]

do not feel bad about it I've donn this lots of times. The dollars reaaly do add up. wigs, make-up, desses, underwear, heels, ect. got put in the trash. and by-by it when. then after a few days to a few weeks. I was back in the stores buying all new. been though this lots of times over the years.

I started dressing in girl cloths when i was 8 years old and have been cross dressing. I am now 42. a lot of mentel stuggles of right and wrong, being good or bad. after reading alot of post here at this site I have stopped the ugly cycle of trashing all or some of my girl cloths.

My wife accepts me and loves me for me. She just does not like it when I get in this mood of getting rid of my stuff. Now that that has stopped our marrirage is getting alot better.

As I've seen in some post "Be good to yourself" and Be true to yourself"
"Love yourself so you may love others even more"

[Bonnie]

Yes, all of you make very good points. Why I did it, right now i'm not really sure. Well as of now, thats the past. I am in the process of shopping now and soon the old Bonnie will be as good as new. I hope.
Thanks all. Bonnie