Outing yourself to a potential date/partner

[Lexine]

Just recently, I started talking to a GG who messaged me on some dating site this past Saturday. After going through the motions, introducing ourselves and whatnot, I had a feeling that she was fairly open minded. However, I still had doubts and wanted to make sure that it was a genuine feeling, so I had skirted around the idea of telling her that I CD. You see, as a general dating rule since I started CDing, I wanted to let the girl who I'll be potentially dating know anything that I think might prevent them from pursuing anything further with me as a sign of respect.

Finally, in one of the messages I sent her, I clued her in on the fact that I dressed up in an androgynous outfit at Disneyland. She said that it sounded like a lot of fun, then proceeded to tell me a story about how back in high school she and her theatre friends would go to a local coffee shop and pretend to be people who they weren't.

So I got more comfortable and told her that, from time to time, I'd go out in girl mode and hang out with friends and even shop for women's clothing as part of my lifestyle, to which she then told me a story about how back in high school, she helped a couple of guys from another school dress up as girls for her school's homecoming dance, only to have one of them outed. She even added that, "Societal conventions are boring and you seem like you're having fun every time you do it!" She was so interested in our gender identity/bending/CDing conversations that she recommended a movie, "Zerophilia," for me to watch tonight (loved it by the way), and even proposed we finally meet up in person!

So my question to you all then is this: Have you ever met any potential dates/partners who you've outed yourself with at the very beginning, only to be completely surprised by the fact that they are completely open to the idea?

[Loni]

not yet,
but i am talking to a gg from a dating site. still way to early for that right now.

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[Cheryl Anne]

Yes I have. Not to get your hopes up or anything but not only did it turn out well we will be celebrating out 4th wedding anniversary this Thursday. :D :hugs: :love: :chained:

[MrKunk]

well so far I haven't tried the dating game again since my last girlfriend and I certainly haven't told any of the girls about me being interested in cding in the beginning. All of my casual friends that are girls have been cool with it, even in some cases supportive.

[AKAMichelle]

I have never outed myself from the very beginning. I always made sure that there was a connection before I told. Like you I believe that a person needs to know before they commit to the relationship. Surprisingly I found one person but she was just a girlfriend like other girls have. I think in the whole year and a half that we have known each other. She has only seen me about 4 times to Michelle about 12 times.

[Kathi Lake]

Sounds fun, Alex! Good luck. Be sure to tell your besties all about it!

:)

Kathi

[mykhelee]

One I revealed myself to "freaked", the last one was accepting and enjoyed the activity. So over the last six years I am batting 500, seems kind of like me.
Peace

[bianca66]

We'll I have to tell before it gets to the sex part as my hairless body is a bit of a give away...I don't have the body builder body and I sink like a stone, so the champion swimmer lie is out also..lol

[t-girlxsophie]

Was Introduced to my now wife,on a chatsite 5 years ago,she had never spoken to a TV before,never mind had any romantic involvement,but here we are happily married 3 years,so It can work from an early stage.

[Traci Elizabeth]

You are one LUCKY gal. Go out with her and enjoy yourself and be yourself!

You want her to like YOU not some male image you don't see yourself as.

Who know's! This may be the beginning of a long friendship/relationship.

[kimdl93]

not literally at the beginning. it took me a couple of months before I felt I knew her enough to "come out". But, I was surprised at how well it went. We've been married 10 years now!

[Samantha Kelsey]

Hi,

I outed to a lady before we got into a relationship. She had also seen me (Samantha) several times before. Six months or so later on our first date it was Samantha who was there with Katy. That was five years ago and we're now living together and going strong. Katy (Dee) is also now a member on this site. Life is so much better in the open. We shop together, share clothes and go out now and then as girlfriends. I'm enfemme about 80% of the time.
Yes it does work and yes it is much better if your (prospective) partner knows before. If she can't take it then she's not meant for you anyway.
Samantha.

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[Lorileah]

Yes I always tell potential ....uh partners, so far no one has rejected it

[Pikaxdresser]

So my question to you all then is this: Have you ever met any potential dates/partners who you've outed yourself with at the very beginning, only to be completely surprised by the fact that they are completely open to the idea?[/QUOTE]

No dates yet but in the future I will tell her on the second or third date that i like to dress and hopefully accepts me dressing. I'm glad that your date accept your dressing

[mklinden2010]

Yes.

And, perhaps because most people are looking for a good friend and a good life, they've all appreciated my honesty and offered all sorts of help.

CDing is not that big a deal. Being a good friend or life partner, however, is huge.

Focus on being a good person. Everything else is easy.

[Danamtv]

I have never outed myself from the very beginning. I always made sure that there was a connection before I told. //Ditto, there are lots of things to find out about another person when you first start dating and sometimes it doesn't work out.

If things were working, I would show them pictures of me from Halloween. Then if they didn't run away screaming I'd mention that sometimes I dressed up at other times. And then that it was a part of me and wouldn't go away most likely.

I'd say half the women I told wanted nothing to do with me, but better that than a painful and ugly breakup later (BTDT). Maybe 3 out of 10 were tolerant and 2 could be called supportive. I only dated one woman ever who considered it at all a plus that made me more desirable, and even then not as a steady diet.

[kellycan27]

It's not the first words out of my mouth, but it's not something that will remain a secret for very long.

[Nicole Erin]

My ability to "pass" is at a glance or short interactions, and even then it is not all the time.

I don't hide my trannyness, and if someone would actually have to be explained what I am, they are pretty dense.

I am not one of those TG's who is going to "man up" just to impress someone.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I did not out myself to my wife in the beginning being, that I was really really closeted and still learning a lot about myself. My wife told me a while ago that it was good I did not tell her on the first couple of dates because she probably would not have accepted it and my timing in telling her about a year after dating was good. Glad I planned that one out correctly.

[Shelby]

I started dating a girl but we are putting on the breaks and being very good friends right now. We had gone on 2 dates but texted at that point a lot. She is very open and would answer or anything. During a text message session, things seemed to get very serious and slightly emotional. Somehow she seemed to sense that I had something on my mind. All I could tell her was that I had one last secret to tell her but wasn't sure if I could share it with her. She encouraged me to do so, but I was resisting. I said that she would judge me and possibly think of me as a freak. She again encouraged me to tell her. So I slowly typed out the words, I sometimes enjoy wearing women's clothes. Then the hard part was pressing the send button. I was in tears for fear of losing her at that moment. I could hardly breathe. Then I got the response, I was terrified as I opened it. It said "so." I practically went limp in my chair. I wrote back "I love you." Then I called her. We talked for a long time and she wanted to see what I look like someday. I mentioned that I get VS Free Panty Offers and of course so does she. Later she texted me asking if I wanted her to pick my up a free panty with her card when she was to come for a visit or if that would be weird. I felt that at this point, yes it would.

Since then we have looke through the VS Catalog, I've sent her pics of what I look like dressed up, she likes me in a certain blue dress but felt I need to do something with my eyebrows. Just the other day we went shopping to get her some new business clothes and we stopped at VS. I had a card for $10 off any purchase so I bought a panty as well as one for her and a pajamma shorts. She needed new undies and they had their 5 for $25 sale. So there we are picking out panties for her and some that I selected made it into her dresser drawer. There was one that she liked but it didn't come in her size but it came in mine so she included it in her purchase of 10. So we have bought each other panties, a first for both of us.

She gave me some lotion that she likes to use, so now I can have her scent on me all the time and I love it. I'm looking forward to when she can come over to see what I have for clothes. She said she would like us to go out on a girls night out sometime. We were joking around on facebook about her sleeping over then taking up space in my dresser drawer and then finally my closet. I commented that how would we tell our clothes apart and she fired back that hers will be the ones without the sequins. I laughed for minutes at that one.

She has been so supportive and amazing. As I said we are currently very close friends. She is not sure about how she feels about dating me at this time but it has nothing to do with my dressing. I can't believe I found such a supportive woman to be in my life. The challenge is finding someone who is supportive and open-minded. All I can say is that it is 50 50.

[Alicia.80]

Yes, the last 3-4 women I've met and dated I've told either the first date or before the first date, and all have been fine with it.

[Mister Ed]

So my question to you all then is this: Have you ever met any potential dates/partners who you've outed yourself with at the very beginning, only to be completely surprised by the fact that they are completely open to the idea?

Congrats on finding some like that.

The fear of rejection is one of the issues that stopped me dating for so long. I'm now talking these issues out with a professional but I am still so very shy.

[vivianann]

I am dressed as a woman when I am not at work, so I hope to meet my next GG partner while dressed enfemme.

[Claire Cook]

Hi Alex,

What a cool situation. Hope things go well!

When I was dating (way back when...) I never brought up the subject of CD'ing .. then again, back in the 50's and 60's it wasn't a popular thing and I was totally in the closet. Looking back on it, and now having very accepting GG friends, I wish I'd been more open with the girls I was dating. Come to think of it, wish I'd been more open, period!

[tamarav]

After working with a woman who was in the process of a divorce, and one that I was interested in, I simply told her during our first date. Now, after almost 30 years of wonderful marriage, I really just how open minded some people really can be.

You can see from my pictures that I work as a hair stylist and makeup artist, a fact that my wife feels free to tell anyone who asks.

She has made out ok herself, all her makeup comes from MAC, I do her hair and nails and many times her makeup. Tough life..

[BRANDYJ]

When I was unattached, I knew that any woman that might be a potential partner needed to know early on if it appeared the relationship was to go anywhere. Having been married to 2 different very accepting wives, there is no way I'd ever consider hiding my CDing from a loved one. No more then I'd ever consider a relationship with a woman that could not accept it for whatever reason regardless of how attracted I might have been to her.
I think that once a woman knows your core values about life, love and various lifestyles, and you learn about hers, you will have an idea of just how accepting she might be if all other signals of compatibility, chemistry and attraction are clearly there. Just read the posts from many of our GG members here and you will find that if all other attractions are there, that they can and do accept it once they have their fears and questions answered concerning whether or not you are gay, bi or want to completely transition.
I feel that when we love someone, there is not much we can't or won't accept about our partner.