Philippa Jane
05-17-2010, 01:27 AM
Dear reader
In a moment of weakness (drunk) I broke down and told my closest friend. I am not sure what made me out myself but the result at the time was positive.
We have been lifelong friend since we were 17 and we are as close as brothers. His wife is very much like a surrogate sister and again we are very close.
It started with lunch at a vineyard. There were 6 of us and we were having a great meal and the wine was flowing. The other 2 males had birthdays this weekend and that was the celebration. There was pub nearby where Ian was expected for drinks and we left for the afternoon entertainment. It was a boutique brewery and we enjoyed too much beer. This was a bad idea for me as I suffer from depression and mixing drinks does not help. But hey I was having a good time.
I have little recollection of how long we were there but I do recall my other friend sitting on the bench next to me and dragging the truth out of me about why I was upset. Like I said we are very close. My partner had got him to talk to me not expecting this outcome. I have been asked by her previously if I had considered suicide, and the answer is yes.
I was in floods of tears as I told my story but then it was done. He told me it did not matter to him as we go back a long way and our friendship meant more to him than my lifestyle changes.
We have always been there for each other, he comforted me when my mother died (I was 20) and I have held him whilst he cried over the death of his first daughter (still born) Kylie.
When we finally got home there were more tears from me when I told all the details to my partner. This may have lasted about an hour. I had to get up to use the bathroom and whilst washing my hands at the vanity I lost my balance and sat down in the bath tub taking the towel rail with me. From tears to laughter in few seconds. I could not get out of the tub so just sat there and laughed till help arrived.
The last time I was this upset was when I confessed to my partner nine months ago about my condition and the subsequent worry and lack of sleep caused me to lose close to fourteen pounds. What happens next will almost certainly have the same effect.
I did go and visit my surrogate sister this morning for breakfast and to fill in any gaps her husband may have left out. She was as good as I expected, caring, loving and understanding that I was still the same person. I know from a previous thread that this last line irritates some people as the suggestion has been “that you are not the same person” I am. They just know me better now.
One of the things my partner has always needed was for others not to know but that has changed now and I feel the friends will keep their silence and protect my privacy.
Time will tell.
Of course any of you reading this will know but, you’re not going to tell anybody are you?
Philipa Jane
In a moment of weakness (drunk) I broke down and told my closest friend. I am not sure what made me out myself but the result at the time was positive.
We have been lifelong friend since we were 17 and we are as close as brothers. His wife is very much like a surrogate sister and again we are very close.
It started with lunch at a vineyard. There were 6 of us and we were having a great meal and the wine was flowing. The other 2 males had birthdays this weekend and that was the celebration. There was pub nearby where Ian was expected for drinks and we left for the afternoon entertainment. It was a boutique brewery and we enjoyed too much beer. This was a bad idea for me as I suffer from depression and mixing drinks does not help. But hey I was having a good time.
I have little recollection of how long we were there but I do recall my other friend sitting on the bench next to me and dragging the truth out of me about why I was upset. Like I said we are very close. My partner had got him to talk to me not expecting this outcome. I have been asked by her previously if I had considered suicide, and the answer is yes.
I was in floods of tears as I told my story but then it was done. He told me it did not matter to him as we go back a long way and our friendship meant more to him than my lifestyle changes.
We have always been there for each other, he comforted me when my mother died (I was 20) and I have held him whilst he cried over the death of his first daughter (still born) Kylie.
When we finally got home there were more tears from me when I told all the details to my partner. This may have lasted about an hour. I had to get up to use the bathroom and whilst washing my hands at the vanity I lost my balance and sat down in the bath tub taking the towel rail with me. From tears to laughter in few seconds. I could not get out of the tub so just sat there and laughed till help arrived.
The last time I was this upset was when I confessed to my partner nine months ago about my condition and the subsequent worry and lack of sleep caused me to lose close to fourteen pounds. What happens next will almost certainly have the same effect.
I did go and visit my surrogate sister this morning for breakfast and to fill in any gaps her husband may have left out. She was as good as I expected, caring, loving and understanding that I was still the same person. I know from a previous thread that this last line irritates some people as the suggestion has been “that you are not the same person” I am. They just know me better now.
One of the things my partner has always needed was for others not to know but that has changed now and I feel the friends will keep their silence and protect my privacy.
Time will tell.
Of course any of you reading this will know but, you’re not going to tell anybody are you?
Philipa Jane