Am I the only one?

[suzy1]

I am in the closet because I want to be, and because I have no need or desire to come out. No, I am not deceiving myself. Yes, I am very happy with my life, totally contented. Life for me is good. I won’t change my mind later on, or as I get older.
So, I am beginning to get the impression that I am a very rare specimen, maybe unique. Am I?
Is there anyone else like me? Or am I all alone.
I’m not marred so that’s not an issue for me.
The last time I touched on this subject I got some replies saying things like, if you did come out you would love it, you are in self denial, or your not man enough, so this time please don’t.
I just want to here from at least one more girl like me otherwise I am going to think I’m a bit odd.
Is anybody [like me] out there....................SUZY

[Crissy Kay]

No Suzy, you are not alone!! I like the closet and have no plans to move either.

[suzy1]

No Suzy, you are not alone!! I like the closet and have no plans to move either.

Thanks Crissy, so there are two of us!

[kellycan27]

If you are content with how you live, that's what it's all about. Enjoy!

Kel

[Joanne f]

I would say that there are just as many who like it that way as there are ones who like to or want to go out , it is just that the ones who want to go out make more noise about it :heehee:
You are right for doing it in the way you want to do it and no one should feel pressured into doing some thing that others think they should .

[Sweeterica]

Hi Suzy hell babe you are not alone,im one and proud of it, why should we feel pressured to go out in public, its all about feeling content with our lives,sure some feel the need to go out in public thats fine,i have a supportive wife that helps a lot.
This for me is all about feeling inner peace and calm,going out in public would make me feel very uneasy.Enjoy what you do dont let anyone pressure you.

[Loni]

as one who has been out, only in the "friendly" world, i love it and want to do lots more. if you wish to just be a stay at home body, who are we to complain?

it is your choice, your life, and we must accept it whether we like it or not. i for one will not say you should do this, or that, not my say.
i only say do what you want/need, and just have fun.:hugs:

Loni


.

[Karen564]

Suzy, I'm not like you, although years ago I was was but lots has changed since then.....:heehee:

And I would be willing to bet there's far more in the closet than out of it...
So as long as that's what you want, I see nothing wrong with it at all...Enjoy!!
:)

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Suzi. The important thing is you are happy with exactly the way you are. You are not married, So clearly I have too think of who else you'd have to come out to if you don't have an SO. We are all so different. For me, I would not be content without an SO. I have one. No, we are not married, maybe someday. But that is not important to me as long as we are committed to each other. Like you, I am happy the way I am. So no, you are not odd. I bet not even that unique. There are others not interested in having a SO I'm sure. Being you and being happy is all that matters.

[minalost]

Hi Suzy,

Does being "in the closet with the door open" count? I'm only out to my wife, and have no intention of "comming out" to anyone but other CDers. The only thing I'm not happy about in my situation is my wife's lack of acceptance and, mosty for that reason, too little time to dress up.

For the life of me I have no idea why anyone would ridicule you for being happy with you situation or your choice of lifestyle. This seems like an odd place to do something like that...

:hugs:

[Kaz]

Coming out and going out in public for me are different things?

I am not "out" and am in the closet... with regard to people knowing about me.

I am "out" sometimes in that I like to choose my moments and get out into the big bad world... I choose them carefully, and have had scary moments (I am not Kimberley et al)... but I like being out of the house (always when I am away from home!)... clickety-click on the pavement, walking around a busy shopping centre in Stockton (un-noticed), parking the car outside my self-catering apartment in the morning rush-hour, walking through York city centre late afternoon... little things...xx

[linnea]

You're certainly not alone, and there's certainly nothing wrong with what you're doing. Just enjoy it.

[ReineD]

Maybe it has to do with expected success rates? Let's face it, CDs have different physiognomies, some have smaller statures, others have more pronounced male features. Age makes a difference in blending in too. Personality and personal circumstances matter as well. Is the CD well known in her community and does she perceive too great a risk by going out?

So if a CD doesn't think she will blend or will be treated with respect, or if she feels she cannot go out without being recognized, (if she does not have the option to go out in areas far enough from home), will this influence her decision to continue to enjoy her femme gender expression in private?

Or would a CD feel that if she does give in to wanting to interact with others, this will send her down a slippery slope where she feels she will no longer be able to maintain a happy internal balance?

Thanks for bringing up the topic. I always thought there might be reasons for wishing to stay closeted but as you say, for some CDs, occasional, private expressions may well be enough!

:hugs:

[az_azeel]

Suzy your not alone... in fact you sound exactly like myself... i have no inclination of ever going out.. my kids know (both lads 17 and 22) and im in a very loving relationship with Alexis with two wonderfull step kids who again both know...

[Deborah Jane]

If you're happy in the closet Suzy I don't see a problem :)
We all have our own comfort level where we enjoy this, so all is cool :)

[RADER]

Hi Suzy;
I am still, and will most likely stay, inside that closet.
A few years ago, I remodeled the closet to make it 50% bigger
(Room Addition X 2) so I would have some room to At least turn around in.
I am married to a wonderful girl who allows me to dress with-in the Rules.
No going outside.
Only wish I could have made the place even bigger. Rader :)

[JustAlex]

I'm in the closet and I have no plans to get out of it. I'm married and my wife knows, so keeping it completely secret is not an issue for me.

I'm worried though... there are so many of us, it's getting crowded and the closet is not that big... :lol2:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I wouldnt even call it "in the closet"...

do what you like...and you are probably in the majority

[cdwithplay36b]

Suzy, you bring up a very good point. I read this site often but post seldom. It is easy to get caught up in the fog of others that are out and around in public. However, I am content in my own closet with a semi-supportive SO and no one else needs to know. I have a rather high profile life that would be disastrous with exposure, but even more importantly would not make me any happier AND would hurt so many of those close to me. And so I will be continue in my cute panties and occasional dress-up at home.

[TGMarla]

You are not alone in this, Suzy. In fact, I suspect that you are actually in the majority. I think that by far most men who crossdress do so in the privacy of their own homes, and never venture forth from these confines. I, myself, only rarely go out anywhere. I don't dress and hit up a restaurant, movies, the mall, or any other venues on any kind of regular basis. I have been out on occasion, and frankly, I loved it. But crossdressing for me always has been, and remains, a solitary and private endeavor. For the most part, I'm quite satisfied with that, at least for now.

[DonniDarkness]

ReineD, great questions.


Is the CD well known in her community and does she perceive too great a risk by going out?

yes and yes


So if a CD doesn't think she will blend or will be treated with respect, or if she feels she cannot go out without being recognized, (if she does not have the option to go out in areas far enough from home), will this influence her decision to continue to enjoy her femme gender expression in private?

For some of us our crossdressing expressions are not appropriate for everyday life. So when we are dressed and if we go out it has to at an appropriate function for our attire if we are going to "blend", otherwise we will stick out like we are wearing a halloween costume or just walked off the porn set still in our work clothes....So the actual act of "passing" becomes irrelevant to us....and if we were out and about at these functions we would be expected to be "over the top" with our expressions: be it crossgender or just fantasy driven


Or would a CD feel that if she does give in to wanting to interact with others, this will send her down a slippery slope where she feels she will no longer be able to maintain a happy internal balance?


Sure, once we push our boundaries, we always ask ourselves if we can go back. That goes for anyone, i feel. If you feel life should be led by the lady you want to be, then the closet isn't the place for you. If you feel the life you lead is better because you have an outlet for your femme expression, then the closet (minus partners of couse) may be all we need

Just a few thoughts i had

-Donni-

[suzy1]

Thanks for all your replies girls but some of you are just drifting a little bit off my original remarks. I don’t have a problem. I would not enjoy the experience of going out. I don’t feel pressurised to go out. I don’t think I am doing anything wrong by not going out. I am just not interested in going out. I do not need to go out. IT’S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!
Lovely to get so many replies, thank you all.


SUZY

[Sheila]

Suzy if you are happy there, no problem each to their own :)

[Jonianne]

.....I would not enjoy the experience of going out.....


That's great that you know who you are and what you want! That is a main ingredient of happyness.

I do have a question though, Suzy, do you ever fantasize about being out and interacting with people in life or going out to eat, etc?, even though that is not in the cards?

[ReineD]

I do not need to go out. IT’S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!
Lovely to get so many replies, thank you all.

Sorry if I asked too many questions ... it's my nature I guess. :) But I'm encouraged to know there are CDs who simply enjoy dressing occasionally and who do not wish for more. I can't help but think that the level of happiness would be high in someone who is happy with what he has. :)

[Blake Lively]

I too have no desire to come out of the closet. I fully enjoy just wearing lingerie and high heel shoes in private. As I am single that's not a problem. If you enjoy something that doesn't hurt anyone else, so be it.

Blake

[Lynn Marie]

The squeaky CD gets noticed. Getting out is a goal for some and the celebration of achieving that goal is one of the major themes of this forum. It's exciting, and dangerous, and exhilerating, and a lot easier than expected....and we all want to tell someone that we did it. To me it's just another part of the ongoing experience like skirts, and tops, and makeup, and jewelry, and all the other accessories that make up the look and feel of the modern woman of the '50s! I'm perfectly happy in, and I'm a little scared happy out.

[Angiemead12]

I only came out because I wanted to be honest to myself and it wouldnt have happened if my friends and family didnt approve of my SO.

So in defense for her I came out to all of them and told them why I need my SO and that she is good for me!