Cristi
05-18-2010, 12:11 AM
...but it turned out to be OK.
Two nights ago, after working late, I came home then decided I just HAD to get out of the house to do something. I didn't have time to do the best makeup job ever, but did get presentable and fully dressed, then drove into town and walked around a bit on safe, quiet streets under the protection of dusk. The wind in my hair and brushing the skirt around my legs was wonderful as I strolled along the sidewalks, cars passing me just feet away. :)
Skip to the next day at work. About halfway through the day, a colleague came up to me and said "Oh by the way, I saw you last night when you were walking in town". My heart just about stopped as my mind started rushing to figure out how this was going to end. I have a job in a pretty conservative place, and being 'outed' right now would NOT be good for my career!
I stammered something along the lines of 'Oh yeah?' and waited for the other shoe to drop, expecting some comment about the skirt, the way I was dressed, or anything along those lines.
Well, it was a false alarm. The person had seen me between the time I'd left work and got home while I was walking to the store, NOT when I was dressed and had gone back into town.
I know it isn't much of a story to tell, but for me it is probably the biggest 'oh ****, the cat is out of the bag now!' feeling I've had in several months if not years. The most recent other one being when another co-worker walked up to me in a parking lot to say 'hi' just minutes after I'd changed back into drab in my car!
One of these days, it isn't going to be a false alarm, and I guess I won't really know how ready I am until it actually happens. Whenever it does, I'll have to remember that I probably brought it upon myself, since I've been spending less and less energy 'hiding' and more time getting used to the idea that it surely will happen eventually.
But not today... and hopefully not tomorrow.
Two nights ago, after working late, I came home then decided I just HAD to get out of the house to do something. I didn't have time to do the best makeup job ever, but did get presentable and fully dressed, then drove into town and walked around a bit on safe, quiet streets under the protection of dusk. The wind in my hair and brushing the skirt around my legs was wonderful as I strolled along the sidewalks, cars passing me just feet away. :)
Skip to the next day at work. About halfway through the day, a colleague came up to me and said "Oh by the way, I saw you last night when you were walking in town". My heart just about stopped as my mind started rushing to figure out how this was going to end. I have a job in a pretty conservative place, and being 'outed' right now would NOT be good for my career!
I stammered something along the lines of 'Oh yeah?' and waited for the other shoe to drop, expecting some comment about the skirt, the way I was dressed, or anything along those lines.
Well, it was a false alarm. The person had seen me between the time I'd left work and got home while I was walking to the store, NOT when I was dressed and had gone back into town.
I know it isn't much of a story to tell, but for me it is probably the biggest 'oh ****, the cat is out of the bag now!' feeling I've had in several months if not years. The most recent other one being when another co-worker walked up to me in a parking lot to say 'hi' just minutes after I'd changed back into drab in my car!
One of these days, it isn't going to be a false alarm, and I guess I won't really know how ready I am until it actually happens. Whenever it does, I'll have to remember that I probably brought it upon myself, since I've been spending less and less energy 'hiding' and more time getting used to the idea that it surely will happen eventually.
But not today... and hopefully not tomorrow.