Are there any other CD's who are gay guys?

[FemmeElastique]

Hey Everyone.

I'm new to the site and I have a question. I've been crossdressing for 2 1/2 years now. From what I know, most CD's are str8 guys (maybe I'm wrong). If I'm right, I kinda feel like a rare breed since I'm a gay guy. I want to know if there are any others who live their everyday lives as gay guys but who are CD's.

[sometimes_miss]

Over the years, in order to learn about myself I've read tons of material on crossdressing. General statistics that I've found all pretty much wind up around this: About 80% of us are (or claim to be) completely heterosexual, despite the various fantasies about being female, we don't interact sexually with males in real life. As an example, most of my sexual fantasies are AS a female, behaving as the female, but interacting with women (yeah, I know that doesn't work out very well at all in real life, but we don't get to choose what turns us on, do we). So that leaves about 20%; now, also knowing that approximately 5% of all males are homosexual, that would mean a significant number of gay males also crossdress, or admit to crossdressing. The numbers get fuzzy, because most of us don't like to label ourselves as strictly one thing or another, and lots of people don't like labels at all. I don't know where professional crossdressers fit into this (drag queens and female impersonator entertainers can be either gay or straight or sometimes in between) but there you have it.

[Barbara Dugan]

I am gay and not completly out of the closet, even I can be read very easily. I consider myself a gay crossdresser in my case feels kind of weird having double locks in my closet:hugs:

[robin48]

I am bi but like guys better now

still new to the feelings

[FemmeElastique]

@sometimes_miss: Ok, so the numbers are fuzzy. My thing is, I like to crossdress and meet guys and be treated like a woman. It's like I am a woman sexually or something. But I'm not a transsexual nor do I want to be. I like that I can be both genders and wouldn't want to mess that up.
I always found it strange that a man would want to crossdress and be with a woman. I always had the question of why be a lesbian when you don't have to be. Maybe my view of sex is a little one sided, maybe. I'll explain. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy and I like to be the feminine part. I never liked gay porn for that reason; 2 built, muscular guys going at it.
So, I interact only with males sexually. It does seem borderline transsexual as for the reasons why I crossdress and why I enjoy it.

@Barbara: When I was choosing my female name, Barbara was one of my final choices! lol. I'm like you, except I'm out of the closet. I am a feminine acting gay guy and easily read.

[felesaerius]

A gay guy here, and I too, have felt in the minority of crossdressers, which makes it slightly more cumbersome, since I feel I put a lot of straight guys off, and if they are crossdressers... well. So I just assume crossdressers are gay, since the topic of sex isn't the biggest deal for me being a crossdresser anyway. Unless they're local, in which case, going out to different bars/clubs would be awkward when we suddenly realized we liked opposite sexes. :-)

[Sophie_C]

Over the years, in order to learn about myself I've read tons of material on crossdressing. General statistics that I've found all pretty much wind up around this: About 80% of us are (or claim to be) completely heterosexual, despite the various fantasies about being female, we don't interact sexually with males in real life. As an example, most of my sexual fantasies are AS a female, behaving as the female, but interacting with women (yeah, I know that doesn't work out very well at all in real life, but we don't get to choose what turns us on, do we). So that leaves about 20%; now, also knowing that approximately 5% of all males are homosexual, that would mean a significant number of gay males also crossdress, or admit to crossdressing. The numbers get fuzzy, because most of us don't like to label ourselves as strictly one thing or another, and lots of people don't like labels at all. I don't know where professional crossdressers fit into this (drag queens and female impersonator entertainers can be either gay or straight or sometimes in between) but there you have it.

Based on some recent threads that were rather long and countless other things I've observed, I'm pretty sure the "statistics" and surveys are very, very loaded, with a lot of people giving the answers they want to believe and they want everyone else to believe, when the reality is that their fantasies and inclinations are the exact opposite.

And, if there were no social consequences (losing friends, family, jobs, children, companions) as a result of living and being with who they're inclined to be with (even if it is fleeting and they immediately return to their picture perfect (or imperfect) home), I'm also pretty sure they'd do it.

And, this is what creates the closet so many people are in. Amazingly simple, isn't it?

Obviously, this applies to me, but also does the fact that there's no way I'd ever live as a gay man. I know my feminine nature and if I somehow desired to destroy my life, I'd go all the way and transition, making everything as it should be.

[Barbara Dugan]

@sometimes_miss: Ok, so the numbers are fuzzy. My thing is, I like to crossdress and meet guys and be treated like a woman. It's like I am a woman sexually or something. But I'm not a transsexual nor do I want to be. I like that I can be both genders and wouldn't want to mess that up.
I always found it strange that a man would want to crossdress and be with a woman. I always had the question of why be a lesbian when you don't have to be. Maybe my view of sex is a little one sided, maybe. I'll explain. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy and I like to be the feminine part. I never liked gay porn for that reason; 2 built, muscular guys going at it.
So, I interact only with males sexually. It does seem borderline transsexual as for the reasons why I crossdress and why I enjoy it.

@Barbara: When I was choosing my female name, Barbara was one of my final choices! lol. I'm like you, except I'm out of the closet. I am a feminine acting gay guy and easily read.

Very interesting we have the same kind of thoughts , even when I explained the same reasons why I like to crossdress to my therapist the other day
she still questioned herself if I was really gay or not

[Ellen James]

I consider myself bi but am in a committed relationship with my female SO - it's actually only recently that I came to this recognition and to recognizing that I am also a cross dresser.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am bi. However, I have not had any encounters with women for several years now. So, does that make me gay? Doesn't matter to me.

[FemmeElastique]

Very interesting we have the same kind of thoughts , even when I explained the same reasons why I like to crossdress to my therapist the other day
she still questioned herself if I was really gay or not

Yeah! So I guess we crossdress for the same reasons =)
Do you do it in public at all?

[Nicole Erin]

I prefer women, want to live as one. Not a gay male, don't really prefer males.


I am gay and not completly out of the closet, even I can be read very easily. I consider myself a gay crossdresser in my case feels kind of weird having double locks in my closet:hugs:


MM HMM honey, you are WOMAN!
Don't waste your time with locks, some crazy lady named Erin is coming in after ya. :love:

[MaryAnn40c]

I am bi and love every minute of it! I get twice the lovin':eek::heehee:

[gwenglam]

Im bi, but im only interested in guys who are smooth.. non hairy guys.. I dont think I could stricky date a guy though.. I love women too much hehe..

[michelle_loves_pink]

Been with 4 men and 2 girls in my life. Guess that makes me two times more gay than straight. LOL

Would prolly never be in a publicly gay relationship but I am still sexually attracted to a hot guy.

I like to soak the cork!

Lmao!

[marny]

Rats! Wanted to quote Roy Orbison and say "YOU'RE ONLY THE LONELY" but your response clears up that thought. I have been in the community for 7 years and i can assure you that the majority of cds are not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Hehe . :bonk:

[AmandaM]

[QUOTE=FemmeElastique;2155801My thing is, I like to crossdress and meet guys and be treated like a woman. It's like I am a woman sexually or something. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy and I like to be the feminine part. I never liked gay porn for that reason; 2 built, muscular guys going at it.[/QUOTE]

In a way, you're like many CDers. I had one experience with a guy, let's call my score 25 women with X encounters, and 1 man with 1 encounter. The whole time I "had to be" a girl with him. It didn't work any other way. I'm basically straight as you can see by my numbers. I'm totally turned off by 2 guys doing it also. I don't know why. But it's enough to not call myself bi. I don't really know if you are gay, maybe you're not. Maybe you're expressing a female sexual identity. There's no current psychological category for that yet, but you are not alone. There are many CDers here who can do it with guys if they "are women" at the time. Confused? I know I am. :)

[meleny]

I like sex with people. Not all people, just the sexy ones. Why limit yourself?

[Jacqueline Vasquez]

In guy mode, I only want women (do not even think about men). En femme, I want men more so than women. I never liked gay porn. 2 girls going at it in a porno is cool, but i rather much watch straight porn. Does that make me bi because I like both men and women?? or straight because in drab i like women, and en femme i like men?? PS - I LOVE women. Prefer them over men.

[Jenniferx1]

Hetro here...........to me I have no interest in being with a man, it is a woman all the way..........Still totally awesome to live as a woman as many times as I can
I guess it sums up this world when people are pidgeon holed in to various categories, instead of just being categorised as ``people``
........whatever a person deviation it too me is irrevelant.........

This is not a slight on the thread in anyway....just my opinion.

:love:

[IamSara]

I am bi and really enjoy meeting guys as Sarah. I like who I am and enjoy being able to enjoy myself with both men and women.
Sarah

[Marcie4you]

As I HATE labels, I'm not sure...I just try to look at the other person, how they treat you, etc....then make my own decision, does that make sense?

[Beth Wilde]

I am a gay man. Only ever meet men and happy with hairy or smooth... I do like to meet other CD/TV as well but definitely not women.

[Carol123]

I was married for 25 years till wife passed away, now I am finding myself attracted to males and enjoying the experience...guess I would be gay

[orangebat]

Over the years, in order to learn about myself I've read tons of material on crossdressing. General statistics that I've found all pretty much wind up around this: About 80% of us are (or claim to be) completely heterosexual, despite the various fantasies about being female, we don't interact sexually with males in real life. As an example, most of my sexual fantasies are AS a female, behaving as the female, but interacting with women (yeah, I know that doesn't work out very well at all in real life, but we don't get to choose what turns us on, do we). So that leaves about 20%; now, also knowing that approximately 5% of all males are homosexual, that would mean a significant number of gay males also crossdress, or admit to crossdressing. The numbers get fuzzy, because most of us don't like to label ourselves as strictly one thing or another, and lots of people don't like labels at all. I don't know where professional crossdressers fit into this (drag queens and female impersonator entertainers can be either gay or straight or sometimes in between) but there you have it.

Wow, you have no idea how glad I am to see that someone else has the same feelings I do... I've always felt like I should be a woman, but typically only have fantasies about being a woman with another woman.

[Fab Karen]

There's been no scientific study to prove that the majority are heterosexual. Using the word many would therefore be more accurate.
There may be more bisexuals than strictly gay, but of course that would be a guess. Also some of us are pansexual ( which means being attracted to someone regardless of their gender or gender-identity ).

[Phyliss]

I don't know if the term "gay" applies to me, I do know I'm quite "happy"

I've seen "the fence" from both sides. Still haven't made up my mind which view I like better.

[Lilly 40C]

I'm bi and am beginning to prefer men especially when dressed.

[Ms Jennifer]

:love:It is really hard to come out of 2 closets.Working in construction and being close to retiring is not the time.I have waited this long ,so a few more years won't matter.:daydreaming:

[CherryZips]

Actually I've always been jealous of gay crossdressers. I thought naively they had an easier time than us straight crossdressers.

I now see that gay men naturally prefer their men masculine. And that the men that like crossdressers are another hidden sexuality altogether.

In saying that the numbers of men that are attracted to crossdressers is large compared to the number of women.

[NicoleScott]

You can be gay and crossdress or not crossdress.
You can not be gay and crossdress or not crossdress.
Whatever you call them, orientations or preferences, they are not related.

[karynspanties]

I am bi. My wife knew this before we were married. She is ok with it. She let's me be me.

[joannemarie barker]

I like women men CDs,I guess I just like people :)

[maya1love]

Yup, I'm a gay man...but, whether I'm dressed or not, I want to feel like the fem in a relationship with a man (in private). So, I echo the earlier post about not being turned on by two muscle guys going at in a porn video. For me, one should be the fem (like me -- hee hee) and the other should be the man. I have no desire to become a woman per se, just to remain a feminine gay man (in private).

BTW, I find that some of the replies on here are unnecessarily confusing. I think the question that you are asking is whether there are any cds on here that, when not dressed, prefer being in a relationship with a man. I want to stress that being "gay" oriented is not about sex -- it's about who you fall in love with, who you have a relationship with, and who you may marry. So, when you are not dressed as a woman, do you fall in love with men or women? (Now, I think that there is a huge grey area, in that many cds will say that they are capable of falling for both.) I fall in love with men almost exclusively, so that is why I consider myself to be a gay man.

Cheers!

[rochy1]

This is an interesting and sometimes confusing issue for many CDs, I imagine. I've only had "long-term" relationships with women, and those have been emotionally and sexually satisfying, for the most part. When I've been in relationships I've usually pretty much given up CDing.
When in CD mode, I often fantasized about about being with men - looking at porn (infrequently) I mostly preferred men with pre-op transwomen, imagining myself as the woman.
Actually being with guys has had mixed results - sometimes not so hot, other times lots of fun.
The more I experience, the more I feel that sexual attraction is pretty flexible and can be influenced a lot by imagination, at least for me.

[RobCD]

I wont deny I have a sexual attraction to other crossdressers and transexuals but beyond that I would have to say no I have no real interest in men

[susan a closet cd]

I like women men CDs,I guess I just like people :)

yup same for me,its all about the person not the label

[Joyously 27]

I'm one and I wear panties,bras & night gowns daily. I started in my mid 70's. Oh I'm closeted but would like to have friends to dress up with. Hugs Joy:love:

[rocketscientist]

I am gay and not completly out of the closet, even I can be read very easily. I consider myself a gay crossdresser in my case feels kind of weird having double locks in my closet:hugs:

Barbara, I don't care what ANYBODY calls you. I still think you're a sweetheart.:hugs: Hugs, Tonya:battingeyelashes:

[MsJanessa]

Of course there are gay cds and bi ones too---why limit yourself. If you are like Me you prefer GGs and CDs, and really femme guys to masculine hunks but it certainly takes all types

[StarrOfDelite]

I think everyone on this forum recognizes that the spectrum of human sexuality is as diverse as the colors of the rainbow, so why do we continually analyze, re-analyze, over-analyze, and then re-over-analyze ourselves on this question?

I think this is illustrative of how important motivations are to us as a species, and as a cultural sub-set of the species. No wonder there are so many rich psychiatrists.

I am reminded of the famous quote attributed to Justice Potter Stewart of the U.S. Supreme Court who said that he couldn't define pornography, but that he knew it when he saw it. If we see someone who attracts us, why is it that we try to define why they are attractive instead of seizing the momment? If a person can't really define his/her sexuality, but knows who he/she wants to sleep with and when, is it really all that important that they don't know the answer to the "Why" question?

Go where you wanna go, and do what you wanna do, with whoever you wanna do it with.

Just so long as you're not hurting somebody else, like a wife, SO, or child when you do it.

[FemmeElastique]

I don't get it! I'm trying to understand. Like, a lot of you like to CD but prefer women?? At a fetish party, I met a pre-op transsexual woman who is married (I think - at least she brings a woman to the parties) and who just likes women! And she's planning on having the sex change operation to be a lesbian! I don't understand, or maybe it's not for me to understand. And I thought my sexuality was complex.
And one thing I'd like to add and ask some of the gay guys. It's so weird....the thought of me being with a transsexual or CD is a complete turn off. If I just know that a guy is a CD, I will be completely turned off sexually by him. I want to know if the other gay guys feel the same way, or what. I'm just saying this stuff so I can see if others feel the same way or if it's just me. It is not meant to offend anyone. Also I noticed that others in here like other CDs.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Let's just say that my "hinge" on "my gate" is multi-tasked!!!!

I can see us (or some of us ) being able to be masculine and attractive to women as a hetrosexual male...and then be able to take on our female role and be attractived to males from a female prespective...so does that make us bi/gay or just multi-demensional???? Now to make it even more confusing or "blurred"...lets say we as females are attracted to lesbian females....what does that make us???? gay lesbians????

Better to address this as being simply a person (or people) who can transform accross established modes of human sexuality (i,e, being straight) that have been established by society as being acceptable "norms" and bend those "norms" into different levels of sexual experiences and acceptance...although it may not work for the general members of society it works well for a few who can transform back and form esitly and without any difficulty....so they get to enjoy both sides of their seuxality....

[carhill2mn]

There have been so many opions already expressed that I am a bit hesitant to add mine. I have personally known only one CD who was gay. I know of some CDS who are, in effect, bi as they have sexual attractions to and relations with both men and women. Some of these CDs only consider a relationship with a man when they are presenting as a woman. Many "experts" think that the percentage of CDs that have a gay sexual orientation is probably about the same as for the general populace or might even be a little less. As usual, any of these concepts are nearly impossible to prove.
Sexual orientation and gender expression are not linear in nature.

[Karen564]

I don't get it! I'm trying to understand. Like, a lot of you like to CD but prefer women?? At a fetish party, I met a pre-op transsexual woman who is married (I think - at least she brings a woman to the parties) and who just likes women! And she's planning on having the sex change operation to be a lesbian! I don't understand, or maybe it's not for me to understand. And I thought my sexuality was complex.
And one thing I'd like to add and ask some of the gay guys. It's so weird....the thought of me being with a transsexual or CD is a complete turn off. If I just know that a guy is a CD, I will be completely turned off sexually by him. I want to know if the other gay guys feel the same way, or what. I'm just saying this stuff so I can see if others feel the same way or if it's just me. It is not meant to offend anyone. Also I noticed that others in here like other CDs.

To me, it sounds like your confusing gender with sexuality..
Just because CD or TS lives or dresses female doesn't automatically mean they want to have sex/relations with a man..

A MTF TS woman, whether she be pre-op or post-op can be either Bi, or straight (meaning she likes men), or a lesbian..being the top 3..

I'm a pre-op TS, and consider myself a straight woman & do like men, but I'm in no way shape or form attracted to gay men...

And if a gay man was attracted to me, then I would have to take that as an insult..because I'm woman, not a man..

I'll say this though,
I don't go to gay bars or clubs, but ever since I started living 24/7 last year as a woman, I have had Many Bi & lesbian woman come on to me..and these are woman that I once thought were totally straight & had no prior knowledge of them being Bi or gay....

So now I know that if I ever did go down that lesbian path, I sure wouldn't have a hard time finding a date every night... :heehee:
But regardless, I still want a really good man..

[Anneliese]

I'm a CD who has only had hetero experiences, but who is open (top or bottom), to...other...experiences. At this point, guys, in general, don't turn me on. Hot women and hot trannies DO. I would "do" a beautiful trannie before "doing" a woman at this point. What does that make me?

[Pikaxdresser]

I'm a CD who has only had hetero experiences, but who is open (top or bottom), to...other...experiences. At this point, guys, in general, don't turn me on. Hot women and hot trannies DO. I would "do" a beautiful trannie before "doing" a woman at this point. What does that make me?

I agree with anneliese. MtF TS and women only.

[FemmeElastique]

There have been so many opions already expressed that I am a bit hesitant to add mine. I have personally known only one CD who was gay. I know of some CDS who are, in effect, bi as they have sexual attractions to and relations with both men and women. Some of these CDs only consider a relationship with a man when they are presenting as a woman. Many "experts" think that the percentage of CDs that have a gay sexual orientation is probably about the same as for the general populace or might even be a little less. As usual, any of these concepts are nearly impossible to prove.
Sexual orientation and gender expression are not linear in nature.

I think the last sentence is what I was looking for. Sexual orientation and gender expression are not linear in nature. I just figure that if we crossdressed, it would be to attract and be with men. U know, that whole opposite thing, man and woman together. But I see that's not how it always is.

[FemmeElastique]

[QUOTE=Karen564;2156598]To me, it sounds like your confusing gender with sexuality..
Just because CD or TS lives or dresses female doesn't automatically mean they want to have sex/relations with a man..

Yeah, I think that's what happened. Just confusing gender with sexuality. Or thinking that if we alter our physical bodies or outward appearance that everything would be hetero. But I'm understanding better now.

[Froggy's Angel]

I will just say that ALL of my experiences with Crossdressers has been with gay guys, up until my husband came out to me.
I never realized until then that there were so many, even a majority, of straight guys who crossdress.

I actually questioned my husbands sexuality at first because of this.
My best friend in my early 20s was a VERY passable crossdresser and he was bi but leaned more towards gay. And he was just one of many gay crossdressers I knew/know.

Anyway, speaking from my experience there are a lot of gay crossdressers.
Don't know if that helps, but there you go :D :love:

[Frédérique]

I don't get it! I'm trying to understand. Like, a lot of you like to CD but prefer women?? And I thought my sexuality was complex.

I have heard, in one or two definitions I’ve come across, that a MtF crossdresser is supposed to be a gay male who dresses as a female for his partner. Everyone champions his (or her) own chosen definition, so I wouldn’t be so surprised to find the full gamut of gender and sexuality on display in a forum of this type. Reality, like sexuality, is complex and quite fascinating. Except for my “fellow” crossdressers, I do not enjoy the company of males, but I’m talking about the males you run into on a daily basis. Any deviation from the male norm, a pearl of sensitivity in the shell of ugliness, catches my eye. It doesn’t really matter what gender you are, or what gender you prefer to hang out with, since (for me, at least) it’s all about finding interesting souls who have the courage to experiment with their lives. It should come as no surprise that many MtF crossdressers prefer women, since they spend so much time and effort trying to emulate their appearance, according to one’s own personal level of visual (and emotional) interest. This fact alone seems to be very difficult for outsiders to understand, but it’s the truth. I assume you’re young, and thus unaware of the circus of life going on all around you. With that in mind, do yourself a favor -- get within the "community" and meet all of the participants, my dear…


I'm a CD who has only had hetero experiences, but who is open (top or bottom), to...other...experiences. What does that make me?

Beautiful and interesting, I would say…:battingeyelashes:

[Vickie_CDTV]

One of the reasons many heterosexual CDs attraction to feminine clothes etc. is that we are attracted to (and even fascinated by) women, and we wish to emulate what we are attracted to. I know I dress up as and emulate the type of woman I am attracted to.

I have often wondered if it is easier being a gay CD, since there are a zillion times more men who are attracted to CDs than GGs attracted to CDs. The dating pool for a gay CD is far greater compared to an almost nonexistant pool for a straight crossdresser.

[georginafo28]

I am a bi curious guy who is also very curious in the cd'ing scene, I am really looking to explore my bi side with another gay/bi crossdresser.

G

[Kimmy55]

I also am bi.Have been for years,but I do like my men to be smooth

[sissyboy91]

I am bi but wont have realations with just a guy they must be cd/drag queens or trans.

[SamanthaS]

There is nothing wrong with being gay, but I wonder why a man, who wants to be with another man would find a guy who looks like a woman attractive? I know your not alone :)

[Jamiegirl1]

Bi here also,I only like to be with men when I'm dresses as a woman,otherwise not interested.I have been with a couple of men and it is great,but men are pigs,you never hear from them after they have had their way with you.I still prefer women , still the most beautiful creatures on Earth.

[Kristi Moore]

Hey Everyone.

I'm new to the site and I have a question. I've been crossdressing for 2 1/2 years now. From what I know, most CD's are str8 guys (maybe I'm wrong). If I'm right, I kinda feel like a rare breed since I'm a gay guy. I want to know if there are any others who live their everyday lives as gay guys but who are CD's.

I'm in therapy and have been out a few times. My confusion like some here is exploring bi/gay fantasies when dressed. I like woman and both woman and men when dressed the image of knowing enfemme i attract men is such a turn on. I'm so grateful so many of you are here feeling the same way. I'm ok with exploring but I want a black and white answer. I'm finding out it doesn't work this way. Hugs to you all

[FemmeElastique]

Bi here also,I only like to be with men when I'm dresses as a woman,otherwise not interested.I have been with a couple of men and it is great,but men are pigs,you never hear from them after they have had their way with you.I still prefer women , still the most beautiful creatures on Earth.

That is so true. I hate when that happens after I've had really good sex. I wanna continue it but I never hear from the guy again!

[FemmeElastique]

I'm in therapy and have been out a few times. My confusion like some here is exploring bi/gay fantasies when dressed. I like woman and both woman and men when dressed the image of knowing enfemme i attract men is such a turn on. I'm so grateful so many of you are here feeling the same way. I'm ok with exploring but I want a black and white answer. I'm finding out it doesn't work this way. Hugs to you all

A black and white answer would be nice. I think there is one somewhere. I'm sure somebody has simplified it in a sentence or two.

[Tess]

With over 50 years of experience I still have no answers. All I can relate is my own situation. My first gay experience occurred within a year of my first CD experience. The sexual preference issue has never been related to the CD issue for me. I have always been at least bi with a strong leaning toward gay as I've aged, but only with regard to sex. I much prefer non-sexual relationships with women to those with men. None of it has anything to do with my cross dressing. For me, cross dressing is more like self actualization, a pleasure, and very hard to explain.

[Raine]

I'm pansexual, and I like my people as I like my dolls, smooth and adorable. :)

[VikkiVixen7188]

From what I gather, Gay men that crossdress tend to do it for Drag shows. Thats a Drag Queen.

A crossdresser, someone who crossdresses in day to day life not for performance tend to be straight.

[FemmeElastique]

From what I gather, Gay men that crossdress tend to do it for Drag shows. Thats a Drag Queen.

A crossdresser, someone who crossdresses in day to day life not for performance tend to be straight.

Yeah, then we're definitely not as common as str8 CDs. I don't do it for drag shows. I've been asked several times if I'd like to perform and the answer was always no. That could be the start of a new thread!

[ellenwannabe]

I do not think I'm gay but have explored that possibility in the past - I just love CDing - Ellen

[Marla]

I used to think I was bi but that got too complicated. Now the only relationship that I enjoy is with males even if I'm not dressed.. When I am dressed being the female is exciting beyond belief. You have to be very careful though because some gay men don't like being with cders. Just my thoughts.

[Shadeauxmarie]

I think there's a female spirit trapped in my body, but she's a lesbian.

[Christa]

To answer the original post, I'm a gay guy who crossdresses. I've been gay as long as I can remember, and out about it since I was 19.

I found it much harder to come out as a crossdresser (will the coming out ever end?). I've been with my husband for nearly 20 years and it took 15 to get the nerve to tell him. I'm glad I did, but he was understandably suprised (much like any person's spouse might be after discovering their long term partner is a crossdresser).

I wish I'd been an out CD so that my partner was aware of that side of me from the beginning.

To reply to Vickie (below), I don't know if it's easier being a gay CD. I don't have anything to compare it to. And in the end, it doesn't matter. But I do know that the dating pool for gay CDs isn't what you might think. The gay community likes drag queens, but still has a lot of issues with CDs and TG folks. So the grass isn't always as green as you think.

Feel free to contact me directly if you'd like to know more.

XOXO

Christa




One of the reasons many heterosexual CDs attraction to feminine clothes etc. is that we are attracted to (and even fascinated by) women, and we wish to emulate what we are attracted to. I know I dress up as and emulate the type of woman I am attracted to.

I have often wondered if it is easier being a gay CD, since there are a zillion times more men who are attracted to CDs than GGs attracted to CDs. The dating pool for a gay CD is far greater compared to an almost nonexistant pool for a straight crossdresser.

[bdsmcandy]

I am Bi and proud of it, it can be complicated and confusing but I could never just stick to guys or girls I like it all to much :)

[maya1love]

Just responding to a post above asking about whether it is easier finding partners who like cds in the gay community...I would say that it is just as hard. It is true that there are many more male admirers of cds, then female admirers. As a result, being admired by a man certainly fulfils a part of me. But when it comes to stepping up to the plate, going on a date or -- god forbid -- committing to a relationship with a male admirer, there are all kinds of problems and complications. I think in this regard, a woman in a relationship with a cd is more dependable and more unconditional in her acceptance. Men are fickle creatures. I think the difficulty that I have as well is that I'm not really attracted to typical gay guys -- I like men who look and act straight and who will desire me when I'm dressed, and that's a bit of a tall order if I'm just a crossdresser looking for a meaningful relationship with a man.

[Danamtv]

When I was 18 I knew I was a cross dresser but didn't have any satisfactory relationships with girlfriends and was still a virgin. And my parents, who had busted me a number of times either en femme or found my clothing stash, were convinced that I must be gay and this was my way of acting out.

I started responding to some of the gay or bi guys who hit on me and had a few affairs - one lasted off and on for five years and another for over a year. I would dress at least partially as femme, underdressing at times but sometimes completely dressed, although I never went out on a "date" with them en femme. This was all way in the closet: one guy I was involved with was married and had a child, the other divorced and also with a child. I'd only hook up if I wasn't dating anyone: if I had a gf everything else was on hold.

Eventually I learned more about cross dressers, transvestites and transgenders and realized that while the sex might be fun, there wasn't the same kind of emotional attachment I had with women. I wanted to kiss and make love. One just wanted to do it and once he got his way, he would move on, not in a mean way but it wasn't any kind of love relationship. the other was quite a bit more considerate but we only hooked up when I was in femme mode and it was purely for sex. So this wasn't going to make me any happier.

I started having more sustained relationships with women and eventually got married and had kids. I fantasize at times about guys and sometimes have cyber sessions, but haven't actually been with one for many years.

It seems everyone wants to define gender and sexual orientation in binary terms. But for many of us, they aren't.

[kellycan27]

Bi here also,I only like to be with men when I'm dresses as a woman,otherwise not interested.I have been with a couple of men and it is great,but men are pigs,you never hear from them after they have had their way with you.I still prefer women , still the most beautiful creatures on Earth.

If you give it up on the first date, that's what you might expect. Putting them off for a while is a better test or their intentions. Are they interested or just looking for a one night stand? I wouldn't classify all men as pigs, but they certainly can be if you let them.... if you let them being the key.:heehee:

Kel

[notthereyet]

I CD in private. I'm bi and often think of transexuals when I have those private thoughts. I perfer to talk and be with women, just feel more comfortable. Would much enjoy to find someone that I could trust to just honestly chat with.

[flatlander_48]

I began to understand that I wasn't completely hetero about 20 years ago (early 40's). I had my first experience with a man 2 or 3 years after that. I thought that I was gay and started to settle in with that. Meanwhile, my wife and I could see the end of our relationship coming to an end. This was only partially due to my realizations. We did have a number of good times, but there were also many bad ones. Anyway, while we continued to live together, we did live on different floors of the house while she was trying to figure out her exit strategy.

However, sort of by accident, a woman that I had known for close to 10 years came back into my life. We had never been romantically involved before, but that changed. We realized that there had always been this tension and undercurrent in our relationship. What I discovered was that I was more than capable of satisfying her (and THEN some!). At that point, it became increasingly clear to me that I was actually bisexual. I had strong physical attractions for men and women.

Anyway, that is how I have continued to view myself for the last 9 or 10 years. It feels very comfortable to me by now. However, to this point there have been more physical relationships with men than women. I've always thought of sexuality as a continuum. Having more male lovers than female lovers just means that the balance is not necessarily 50/50. So what?

However, since I married my second wife, I haven't been seeking out any mash-ups with guys. Not that I wouldn't, but my current relationship is good. The CDing also came along after the last time I slept with a guy, so I don't have any reference points there.

I do get ticked off when I tell people that I am Bi and the response is that I'm greedy or it improves my chances. This happens WITHIN the community, which I find particularly distasteful. If this is what happens in our community, how can we expect much change in society at large?

[gemsay32]

I'm a small guy and not very good with people so I had a difficult time with girls. Ya, I got some giggles and flirts in school and at work, but none of it was serious. I'm too shy to confront it anyway. I'm middle age and still a virgin. I think that playing with female clothes for me was my method of dealing with what I felt was my failure as a man.

I had a brief period where I wondered whether I could like guys. I think that it boiled down to a very simple formula that asks the question: how much like a female is the guy? So, essentially, I figured that I'm straight. But if I was given the option to know a guy that way, I would explore it. I did actually experiment a couple times. I found that with the flip of a finger I could find interested gays. It was no sweat. I even went on a webcam for fun. I wasn't CDing or anything. Just as me. (Btw, I don't "CD", I just think the smooth shiny fabric is VERY sexy.) Anyway, I found it to be immensely ironic that it was so easy to find gay guys but impossible to find females. Females just didn't like me.

I remember once while in a mall a couple cute girls were nearby and one of them said to other one, "Is that guy gay?" She was looking at me. Understand? I've got that more than once. Doesn't help that I have crooked teeth. But I think every girl that sees me thinks I'm gay or something because of the way I move or talk or look. I just, inside, wish I could be MASCULINE or FEMININE without the mess I seem to be. So I guess i appear gay to others even though I'm not.

It's hard for a guy who has low a relatively low self-image to make it in the dating scene. And when you add up all of the other potential troubles life can bring, is it really any wonder why some guys turn to strange and bizarre fetishes to please their sheltered desires? Some people make do with what they got. That's what I do.

I think the real reason I like feminine things is they're clean. Masculine things, at least in my experience, are very dirty! If I had to put my self on a scale between 1.0 (masculine) and -1.0 (feminine) I think I'd give myself a 0.34. I definitely would never pass as a female unless I lost the muscle I have and my skeleton changed. I know this because I actually dressed up and recorded my self to see if I could get off on it. It was obvious that my shoulders and back and everything else and the way I moved was too male-like and a big turn off. Besides, I don't want to be a woman. On the other hand, I'm not a tall man rippling with muscle chasing after big truck with a beard, husky voice, and an ambition that would please steve jobs. I'm just a nobody, floating somewhere in between a sissy and a unisex.

I think we can love and have intimate relationships with anybody. Sure, you might not find them sexually attractive in a natural way, but do you have to? I don't think love was singularly made for sex-based relationships.

And I have never had an intimate relationship. I'm 33. I better hurry up!

(and btw, i think my attraction to smooth shiny fabrics is the same kind of fetish that some gays have for leather. i know this is a fetish because a gay relative has it. leather and muscles and satins and curves. simple!)

Has anyone seen studies linking the length of your index/ring fingers with sexual preference (gay,straight) and even people who're scientists? I ask because my index finger is about the same length as my ring finger on my right hand. I have seen some, and my measurement is more like a hetero-woman and scientists. I compared it to people in my family and was startled that it seemed to work well, but I don't use it to pigeon-hole people. I only learned about it a couple years ago. It's not like I"ve known about it all my life and am fulfilling my expectations!

Example:
Finger size link to earning power:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7825890.stm

Finger Length Helps Predict Test Exam Results, Homosexuality, Cancer, Musical Ability and Aggressive Personality -- Study Shows:
http://viewzone2.com/fingersx.html

[StarrOfDelite]

Assuming that a genetic male who enjoys the female role in intercourse, but only when presenting as a woman, is nonetheless gay on the objective level, then I'm one.

On the other hand, I also enjoy relations with gender women when I'm presenting as a man, so does that make me Bi- part of the time and Gay part of the time.

But, then what word should I use to describe my behavior during the times I spend with men who present as women for sexual intercourse?

And, relative to the above paragraph, does it make a difference if I'm also presenting as a woman?

Why does everyone who isn't a psychiatrist want to practice psychiatry on themselves and everybody else on this site?

Just asking. I don't have any answers, just dazed, confused and in need of direction.

[countrygirl]

Gay here and proud of it!

[thatcuteemochick]

I thought i might be bi at one point.. but i realised im completely straight was just kinda bored following breaking up with a girl whom id been going out with for quite a while

[smoothbikini]

sometimes, when i crossdress and am completely absorbed in my feminine persona, the thought of being with a guy seems completely natural, since i see myself as the opposite gender... sorry, not much help here.

[nikkijo]

if i had to express my opinion, the gay community is more heavily populated with CD'rs, but in that percentage of the population, a higher percentage of the people that may be technically CDing earlie on in a new fashion life cycle become stylish and trendy ... say example skinny jeans or slim cut cap sleve shirts and other highly fassion, they were at one time deligated to women only, and it was a GLBT member who brought it to themainstream for their particular gender as acceptible for their birth gender out of a trend... now as strictly as a true to form CD who strictly dresses for sexual pleasureor other personal reasons who doesnt cross into transgender realms that number is probably lower or more inline with the general populus versus the populus within the sub culture.. .. these numbers disregard drag queens in my mind as drag queens dress strictly for a lively hood as performers not as CD's for personal reasons... i guess technically u could dsay i was bi, since nikkis personality is that of a straight girl, and my guy persona is straight male, but that said, nikki likes her guys on the femmeto androgynous side and or females of similar placement in the scale between ultra effeminate to masculine

[phyllis Lavender]

Since my wife passed away I came out of the'closet', addopted a feminized lifestyle and feel very attracted to feminized men.

[MrsDiane]

I love pleasing a man sexually, much greater sexual satisdaction than being with another crossdresser

[charlie]

Hello Femm!
Your question is interesting in that I am married and straight. However, there is a certain amount of gender bending when I'm around other CD'ers. When we greet each other there are hugs, some kisses. Playful hits on the ass are not uncommon playing pool. and when we leave, full kisses are often given. Is it part of the role we play or are we different when fully dressed? I certainly do not do that with my male friends!

[btelchy]

I am str8 but am finding myself wanting 'gay' experiences more everyday.. especially dressed. I feel more comfortable dressed and I think feel more comfortable around people with similar interests

[abigail43]

I am Bi sexual ,when I am dressed I like to BE able to play the whole role ,I have been cross dressing all my life and I love to do it . It took me a while to get with a man but when I did I thoroughly enjoyed it , Although I could not live in a gay relationship I still enjot the company of men.

[Kristi Moore]

I am Bi sexual ,when I am dressed I like to BE able to play the whole role ,I have been cross dressing all my life and I love to do it . It took me a while to get with a man but when I did I thoroughly enjoyed it , Although I could not live in a gay relationship I still enjot the company of men.

Well said Abigail, i feel exactly the same and it is a struggle though when en femme it is so pleasing to know i turn a man on. Good hunting and being who you are.

[lisajane]

I identify as a Lesbian CDer:D

[AlisonRenee]

In guy mode, I only want women (do not even think about men). En femme, I want men more so than women. I never liked gay porn. 2 girls going at it in a porno is cool, but i rather much watch straight porn. Does that make me bi because I like both men and women?? or straight because in drab i like women, and en femme i like men?? PS - I LOVE women. Prefer them over men.

--- I think it may about double your odds of finding a date for Saturday night. :)

[busker]

Why confuse a wonderful state of mind with sex--and probably sloppy seconds at that. Being a hetero-crossdresser I'm trying to transport myself from the drab (it's called drab for a reason) male world into a different mental state--not a means to getting laid. Isn't that for a different forum? I don'
Why turn a wonderful feeling into a come-on for sex. Why bother- can't people just have sex with whomever they please without having to couch it terms of something else. It sounds like denial loud and clear. I'm gay, but can't admit or accept it so I'll dress up. Straight (pun intended) gays don't have to dress up, and why on earth would they want a female impersonator anyway--what is the point of being gay then? Isn't that men prefering men, or am I just mixed up on gender and orientation?.
I've had some great sex with wonderful women but frankly as age catches up with me, 15 minutes times twice a week simply isn't worth the candle. Sex with a male , dressed or not, is anathema.

just sayin'

[jainalandas]

i consider myself bi even tho i am in a serious relationship with a female SO. i have messed around and liked it and if ne thin were to happen tween us id prob dating guys so if that makes me gay then im gay if its bi then bi but i think im bi cuz i love my wife and im attracted to her

[flatlander_48]

--- I think it may about double your odds of finding a date for Saturday night. :)

That's a consequence, not a goal...

[notthereyet]

I Love to CD and when I'm in the mood, I often think of Transexuals.

[StevieTV]

I'm gay and love it. Sexually, women do nothing for me. In a relationship, I'm the femme partner and am attracted to men that prefer it that way.

[FemmeElastique]

I'm gay and love it. Sexually, women do nothing for me. In a relationship, I'm the femme partner and am attracted to men that prefer it that way.


Perfect, Stevie! I'm the exact same way! :-) Nice to know that there are others who are like me and share the same interests.

[Crysten]

1. Straight crossdresser - probably married, kids, and enjoys his "hobby" when he gets a chance. Would never dream of being with a male partner. Generally closeted.

2. Gay Crossdresser - Likes to dress (continuously or not) and preffers males. May or may not have ex-wives, kids, etc. May or may not be closeted.

3. Hetero Transsexual - Wants to transition to the opposite gender, and live a hetero lifestyle as the new gender. Out in a big way.

4. Gay Transsexual - Wants to transition to the opposite gender, and live a gay lifestyle as the new gender. Also out in a big way.

So I figure that makes up about 20% of our population. The rest of us, I would consider:

TRANSGENDERED: Terminally confused, don't know who/what/where we are most of the time...can't tell if we're coming or going....and enjoying it a great deal. Well, most of the time, anyway. Also, we can generally fall into at least three of the above categories depending on which day of the week it is.

:daydreaming:

[GBNatarii]

1. Straight crossdresser - probably married, kids, and enjoys his "hobby" when he gets a chance. Would never dream of being with a male partner. Generally closeted.

2. Gay Crossdresser - Likes to dress (continuously or not) and preffers males. May or may not have ex-wives, kids, etc. May or may not be closeted.

3. Hetero Transsexual - Wants to transition to the opposite gender, and live a hetero lifestyle as the new gender. Out in a big way.

4. Gay Transsexual - Wants to transition to the opposite gender, and live a gay lifestyle as the new gender. Also out in a big way.

So I figure that makes up about 20% of our population. The rest of us, I would consider:

TRANSGENDERED: Terminally confused, don't know who/what/where we are most of the time...can't tell if we're coming or going....and enjoying it a great deal. Well, most of the time, anyway. Also, we can generally fall into at least three of the above categories depending on which day of the week it is.

:daydreaming:

I'm none of those. And from reading the whole thread just now, clearly, I'm not easily defined by any of you.

I'm bisexual. I've known for quite some time as well. I'm attracted to virtually every one except extremely hairy guys, and butch looking GGs to put it bluntly.

If I were to date a guy, my crossdressing would have absolutely zero effect on the actual relationship. I'd dress up when I wanted to do something different that day, but that's pretty much it. I'd have no problem being the female one night, being equal the second night, and being the male the third. The same goes for women. (As long as the GG doesn't cut her hair short, I hate short hair.)

OP, you keep saying how you feel your are in a minority because you believe you have a strange sexual preference that is complicated. You couldn't be farther from the truth. Most people not only like, but some times expect and demand clearly defined roles in any relationship. And that's all you are doing; making sure that any person you date understands right off the bat you are the feminine one in the relationship, and he is the masculine one. That's all.

You have also stated multiple times in this thread that you are confused as to how there can even be a straight crossdresser. Have you not considered the possibility the person is just more comfortable wearing feminine clothes? Or the reverse for a FTM CD'er. I definitely feel that women's clothing is far and away more comfortable to me. It's not going to stop me from having a very serious relationship with a woman though.

And yes, I know full well I am not immune to all that I just said, and well, so what. I know exactly what I am. I have done the research and talked to the people I needed to talk to, and found the answer. Simple as that.

Just remember, beauty/clothes, skin deep, etc. Clothes make you look a certain way; It doesn't mean you are a certain way.

[IamSara]

bi here.
Sarah

[Cait]

I wouldn't like to say that I'm confused as I'm completely at ease with my sexual desires, but they are quite jumbled.
Relationship wise I think that I'm more naturally inclined to pursue a long-term relationship with a woman. I'm attracted both mentally and physically to women, and realistically I can only see myself having any type of long-term relationship with a woman.
However, if I look at what I desire on a short-term (read one night stand) basis I find myself very attracted to men. I would have to say that realistically my attraction to me is largely physical. As for status in such a relationship my preference would be to assume the 'female' role.
With regards to crossdressing, I'm completely open to involving it in either relationship.
I have messed around on the internet and taken the Kinsey test, amongst many others, (purely for my own amusement) and my results always fall in the centre of it.
I guess I'm your typical bisexual (despite my loathing at applying terms to my sexuality).
Apologies for my rambling and probably quite dull post.
x

P.S Just remember to enjoy whatever you're doing, and whoever you're doing it with.

[Christa]

Attempts to define who we are as individuals often fall short.

But attempts to define all the possibilities that everyone else might be are completely useless.

Define yourself if you must, but I'll bet you can't define me. Heck, I'm not even sure I can define me! But to answer the original question in this thread: I identify as a gay male and a crossdresser.

xoxo

Christa

[Chrissi]

I am gay, and I am out as a gay man.
I have never been out dressed, but I don't think it would change anything for me.

I like men, more important for me is an emotional attachment to them, so looks are somewhat secondary to personality and attitude. Although looks are important.

Dressing is not a sexual activity for me, but just a desire to feel nice in nice clothes. I never get a desire to be with women, other than to admire their style.

confusing I know

Chrissy

[Marcie4you]

Hey Everyone.

I'm new to the site and I have a question. I've been crossdressing for 2 1/2 years now. From what I know, most CD's are str8 guys (maybe I'm wrong). If I'm right, I kinda feel like a rare breed since I'm a gay guy. I want to know if there are any others who live their everyday lives as gay guys but who are CD's.

I believe I am, GG's hold NO appeal anymore....

[FemmeElastique]

I am gay, and I am out as a gay man.
I have never been out dressed, but I don't think it would change anything for me.

I like men, more important for me is an emotional attachment to them, so looks are somewhat secondary to personality and attitude. Although looks are important.

Dressing is not a sexual activity for me, but just a desire to feel nice in nice clothes. I never get a desire to be with women, other than to admire their style.

confusing I know

Chrissy



Not confusing at all. Basically you're like me, a gay CD. U bring up a good point...feeling nice and nice clothes. I feel so feminine when I'm dressed up. And I feel like I'm using my physical features to their full potential when I dress up since they're so feminine.

[izzfan]

I'm bi (probably slightly on the gay side of bi most, but not all, of the time)

[Miss Brianna]

For me, I am totally obsessed with the female body and their attire. So much so, that the sight of a guy dressed up sexy intrigues me. Bi-curious? I don't think so.

[newgaycd]

This is a great thread! I'm a gay man(well, bi sometimes, mostly gay, but some women are just gorgeous! lol) who also CDs. Glad to know there are others like me! Do any of you all have boyfriends/partners?...I am in the process of coming out, so to say, to my partner...I have told him it is something I'd like to do and and he took it very well.....we were both under the influence of some adult beverages at the time, but I am trying to gather some garments to finally show him my feminine self!
I feel very very feminine the few times I have dressed and love feeling like the girl in the relationship! :)

[Christa]

Will we ever be done coming out? Whew!

I came out to my boyfriend after many years together, too. He had a sneaking suspicion, but I never had the guts to tell him directly. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done!

Although he was understanding, he stopped short of being supportive. He doesn't really want to see me dressed as a girl, and is nervous that what I really want is SRS (or a "sex change", as he puts it).

I assured him that, for me, crossdressing is as far as it goes. But I would like to go out dressed, which is something he doesn't support.

Like you, I enjoy playing the feminine role in our relationship. As long as it doesn't include feminine clothing, my guy is OK with that too.

Keep us posted on your progress, and post a photo when you can.

Best of luck,

Christa

[flatlander_48]

Will we ever be done coming out?

Christa

Probably not...