Fed-up to be a crossdresser ?

[suzypier]

Hi,

I would like to know if you ever experience the same though as I.

Have you ever got very close of giving up all your CD stuffs to Goodwill and forget about being a CDer, no matter the reason why.

Suzanne

[Super Amanda]

So, going to purge, eh? Good luck! :heehee:

[Deborah Jane]

yes

[Jenniferpl]

Good luck. Been there done that. Most of us wish it would go away. The best I have been able to do is learn to live with it. Again good luck.

[Andrea's Lynne]

Have had it, then done it, then regretted it. Now I hang on to my feminine things until hte feeling (which hasn't come in YEARS) passes. Too expensive to purge :battingeyelashes:

[susanCD123]

Suzypier, yes, many times, and I have thrown everything out many times. NO MORE! I love crossdressing, and have been doing this since I was a teen. (besides, this costs a small fortune). Love yourself because you are special, and appreciate your sexy little kink. I will not throw anything away again, unless it is complely worn out! Proud to be a CD, and if I am ever in a car wreck, the ER folks have probably seen a guy completly shaved, and wearing panties before! :daydreaming:

Oh, and by the way, you look fantastic darling!!!:love:

[carhill2mn]

Most of us have probably "been there, done that" more than once!

[Ronni Seymour]

Absolutely! And I regret it, when I picture in my mind all of the great looking and fitting clothes I have got rid of. Box the stuff up and store it away if the desire passes, eventually you'll probably come back to it.

[Anneliese]

Not I.

I went though my first "official" CD phase around 2002, and it lasted for a year or so.

Everything stayed in suitcases in my...closet.

Never really thought about it all again until a few months ago. I'm glad I didn't throw anything away, but my tastes were different back then. This time, since my daughter has grown up moved out of the house, I can CD full-time when I'm at home, and I keep spending and spending...and loving and loving...more and more every day.

Even if, for some reason, I quit dressing, I would never sell, donate, or purge, because I am PROUD of who I am, and I KNOW the urge would resurface at some point.

[NathalieX66]

Sounds like another purge, then regret post.

been there/done that.....complete with a million guilt trips, and a loss of thousand dollars worth of some nice outfits.

I'm me, and I will never change. Now I strive to create balance in life, and not only is there self-acceptance of my CD'ing, I embrace it. I don't care who knows as long as it's not people within my professional life.
Hope this helps. :)

[jenna_woods]

good luck,I've been there and done that, I would like to say just put your girley thing s away some place its cheaper than buying all new, I know by experance,

[kristi7222]

Dear Suzypier,

I ( like many others) spent years struggling with the keep or toss thoughts. I always regreted any purging I was able to accomplish. (I now am happily married to a very supportive GG who wouldn't dream of letting me toss ANYTHING!) my best advice now - just pack your play things away until this feeling of frustration passes. You will be happy to rediscover your treasures on an happier day!

Melissa

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Never, I've spent far too much money to ever think about getting rid of them.

[sandra-leigh]

I haven't, but I've been at it less than 6 years, and I went out in public within 3 weeks of realizing I was a cross-dresser.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I hope this thread might find someone to help:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2156666#post2156666

[PretzelGirl]

Not on your life. Why should I get fed up being me? I love me! :D

[skylance]

there r times every now and then where i do feel guilt for dressing, and the idea of purging does come to mind, but the i think of how much ive spent on clothes, shoes, accessories, etc. I also think about the hard to find items that ive had the good fortune to come across and all thoughts of purging evaporate. Besides, trying to explain to my SO why i got rid of my stuff when she actively encourages it woudl be difficult.

[Kaz]

Been there, done that... yeah, this happens every now and then. Basic need to know is.. you'll never give up, it will always come back. Now I just accept that this is how it is, let the phase pass, and then get back on with life...

Kaz xx

[Michaela42]

Having gone through various purges over the years I have come to regret each and everyone of them, even though none of the stuff I had before would fit me now. Give it some time, pack it away in the attic/basement for a few weeks and see how it goes.

As for fed up with being a cross dresser; yes, some times I sit back and think, "Gee, wouldn't it be great to be just one person?" Then reality sets in and I realize that I am not. Makaila is as much a part of me as my male self is and as with any relationship these two persons have to bicker and compromise from time to time. It has been very frustrating at times, but as time goes on I think I am getting a better handle on it. I think. :daydreaming:

[Engendered]

Purging is something that I would never do. I believe once you reach a certain mental place with respect to CDing (where you think it's a really cool aspect of yourself that you wouldn't change for anything), the idea of purging makes no sense to you. However, I could stand to give a lot of my stuff to goodwill just to free up some space! I'm a pack-rat, in boy or girl mode!

[thechic]

Good luck Ive given up trying to stop,to expensive.

:drink::drink::drink::drink:

[Carly D.]

Been there.. Done that.. And the idea is always in the back of my mind.. But knowing that the last time I purged to zero I was feeling withdrawls right away.. so the last time I purged to naught I remember how I felt and haven't done that since.. Just put your clothes in "dry dock" somewhere.. Somewhere where you can still get to if you tumble off the wagon.. (Know what I mean???)

[gwenglam]

Yes i have..........If you have the erge just store all your stuff in your attic or an old closet...that way you dont get rid of it and regret throwing out that cute skirt when you start dressing again. :P

[KarenSusan]

I'd give anything to give it up but alas...I am Karen.

[Stephanie Anne]

Purging only leads to buying more crap later on. Purge now, go into debt later :D

[JulieK1980]

I've purged several times when coming to grip with who I am. I regretted it every time I did it as well.

I highly recommend storing all your stuff somewhere while you go through the denial process. ;)

[JanetHarper]

I've purged enough times in my younger days to know not to throw stuff away anymore. I still occasionally go through periods where I don't dress for several weeks but these are getting rarer, it always comes back eventually.

I think the urge to purge for me was linked to the shame I felt dressing at the time. Thanks to sites like this and having had the privilege to work with a TS in a previous job I no longer longer feel any shame so I don't purge - unless I'm making space to update my wardrobe :D.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Never will either. I dressed when I was 16 and stopped and didn't start again till I was 43. I kept Felicity locked up for many years till I realized she is a part of me and always will be. I know I could never purge because I just went 10 straight days without dressing because my work was so busy and I couldn't wait till I was off again which was today and dressed. I said to my wife today that if it wasn't for family,some friends and work, I might consider dressing full time and she just said if I ever do decide to go full time, I have her full support. What a wife.



Felicity :)

[Loni]

i have gotten fed-up with being fed-up about cross dressing,

it costs way to much to regroup and fill the closet with all new skirts, blouses, etc. when i am fed-up with being in drab all the time.:eek::doh:


.

[Jayne]

Been there and done that.
Same as all the other replys.
I have stopped purging as it gets too expensive.
I just have to move out the shoes when I get too many :)
Box up and hide them if you must but unless you have money to burn don't give them away, you will be back.......

[Ms Jennifer]

:love:It gets really expensive purging.Just when you think you have done it then you see a pretty outfit or a lip color you just have to have .I hope now to just do mini purges with items i don't really like anymore or doesn't fit as good as it should to make room.:brolleyes:You have quite an extensive and expensive shoe collection.That would be hard to replace.:eek:Since you know you will have to.:daydreaming:

[Melinda G]

I've put CDing on hold a few times. Usually when I have a new girlfriend. But I've never ever thought about getting rid of my stuff! Perish the thought. I know the desire will always come back.

[joann426]

must be going through a change of life ill never give my things up NO!NO!

WAY:rose2::rose2:

[clandestine322]

I am not sure if you would call my situation a purge Suzy but more of making a few conclusions about myself. I did give most of my things away about six or more years ago and have not replaced them really. I ended up sort of merging what most of you refer to as the male and female sides together. I do not consider it androgyny either. I consider it more being myself. A bit difficult to explain I suppose without a long story.

[Jennaie]

Did it several years ago. I have not dressed in a very long time. I have learned through past experience to never say never, but to date, all is well and I have a girlfriend who loves to dress sexy and tease me all the time. She keeps my interest on her and only her all day, every day.

[Shelly67]

Yes.
But there is an easy option .
Write down everything you dislike on dressing , even list the clothes or female items you have , then throw that list away .........

[Sarah Doepner]

No, I've never been so fed up with crossdressing that I've wanted to toss everything away. Why is that?

I mean look at the negatives, the time spent that could be better spent doing something productive, the possible backlash by those who would find out and deal with it in a very fundamentalist way, the cost of all the clothing, padding, forms, makeup, shoes etc. Why keep doing it if so much of it is just wrong?

Ahh, maybe it's because there is something about it that is very right. The first thing that comes to mind is that it is a very basic part of who I am. To toss everything is to deny who I am and frankly, that could lead to bigger problems that wanting to dress like a girl.

[wetlook crossdresser]

What and just conform to being a regular guy in dull boring drab? Forget that, I'm too eccentric to submit to such a depressing state again. I am having too much fun being liberated from fear and repression. Cheers!
Chris

[Leslie Langford]

Yes, I believe that purging works and is a permanent solution to prevent the urge to crossdress from re-occurring.

I also believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy :eek::doh::D.

Been there, done that - but like the rest of us here, have eventually come to realize that crossdressing is a life sentence with no time off for good behavior - especially if we commit a "fashion crime" in the process :heehee:.

[pernille d]

i might as well say it aswell ,""been there done it too"", purged once when i was about 15 or so , diddnt help much as soon was back dressing .Purged again in the 90,s when got almost caught . I did a semi purge when i got found out by my wife about a month ago, (maybe its some form of guilt) ,
It only leaves you out of pocket but it does clean up your wardrobe as i am now sad i threw a nice shirt away in my madness. no more purgeing for me !!!!

as for the being a crossdresser ,frustration is the the main word i would use.as its not easy being a crossdresser and it does have its problems but i would not be without it ,the most important thing is to accept that " what you are is who you are" and there is nothing wrong with that .Purging does not help " understanding yourself does " . ( it took me almost 25 years to find that out but once i did i see things more clearly now )

[charlie]

I would love to give up crossdressing. As much as it feels good, as much as I love doing it, and as much as I feel like letting my feminine self out....it drives my wife crazy. It is affecting my marriage. What to do?

[suzypier]

Hi,

I would like to know if you ever experience the same though as I.

Have you ever got very close of giving up all your CD stuffs to Goodwill and forget about being a CDer, no matter the reason why.

Suzanne

Hi Girls,

I want to thank you all for your excellent advices, the message is clear. The majority of you said by experience not to purge my stuffs. You are right; there is an investment of about $4,000 to $5,000 of stuffs. So if I ever decide to stop cross dressed I will pack everything and hiding it in the attic.

Thanks again you have been very helpful, Suzanne

[sissystephanie]

Many years ago I did stop being a CD and got rid of a whole lot of stuff. However, I did not give it all to Goodwill. I sold a lot of it!! I stopped because I thought it was best for my whole family, which was my wife and I and two wonderful children who did not know their dad was a CD! 5 years later my wife actually begged me to start dressing again!! She said she missed Stephanie and wanted her in our life again! So I did, and although she has passed on I still do dress a lot. BTW, my children, who are grown now, do know about me now.

[mapletree]

I have tried too.

[btelchy]

I have purged sooo many times. If I stop to figure it out, it has cost me in the thousands of dollars. Even now I wish I had some of the shoes that I got rid of.

[Lucy_Bella]

Several times a year atleast ..But learned a lng time ago ,it takes me a long time , money and courage to collect what I have ..

[Chickhe]

yes, but it seems there are two situations I have experienced. Early on, it was mostly a guilt and feeling shame thing so I would end up trashing everything then the desire would come back in force. Since I have come to terms with who I am, it seems the desire is just decreasing and it is just not really practical to dress...not saying I don't, the only way I can describe it, is like a hobby which you were really involved and for some reason you grow out of it. Maybe, I have learned all I needed to? I know the desire might come back so I'll keep my stuff, but I actually feel the most free that I have in a long time which seems to come after investigating instead of being too scared to try.

[joanna marie]

Been there done that

DON"T DO IT

God I wish that I had my stuff back from my last purge
at least my pink jacket,LBD, make up, and favorite purse

I'm just glad I was smart enough to keep some of my stuff just in case..........

[Angiemead12]

after telling my loved ones, never!

[Gina's dress-up]

I go thur this so many times that after i dispose of my clothes, i have to go and buy again

[Mea GG]

I would love to give up crossdressing. As much as it feels good, as much as I love doing it, and as much as I feel like letting my feminine self out....it drives my wife crazy. It is affecting my marriage. What to do?

Just a thought.

This is one of those threads that is so consistent in the answers, it might be good to print out the column, including your own if you want, as an example of how many try to ignore that part of them and can't do it.

Out of all the threads I've read in MtF, these kinds of purge and regret,
try to get past it and it comes back,

are really the most consistent, while most threads have a real variety of opinions. I mean, look, there is even a name for it!

At least people can learn from others and save a bunch of money and regret.

That's tough though, with the wife hating it, and you may want to start your own thread about it for advice.

Good luck!