Inquiring Minds Want To Know WEEK 6

[Di]

Ladies our awesome GG's have more questions. Thanks again for everyones input!:D If the question does not apply to your situation just put n/a
Week 6:love:

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

[mklinden2010]

16. No
17. Yes. So, no to the "or" part of the question.
18. I don't assume long term trust is more important; I know it is. So, I don't; I don't; and I don't. And, I can't put, "NA," because it always is, "A."

[Raychel]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?
I have been married for 16 years. But if I had to do it over again...
No, She would have to be accepting, but of course that would not be the sole raeson, There is alot more to a relationship, then just one person accepting the other.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

I am totally honest about my sexual interests. No reason to think there would be hurt feelings.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I used to cover up this side of me, Not wanting to end in divorce, like I have heard so many times. But now that I am "out" to my wife. there is no lieing anymore. She knows the whole deal. She is even starting to accept it. We go shopping together. We are starting to reconnect with each other. It looks like life may just turn out OK afterall.

[t-girlxsophie]

#1 I dont plan on my marriage ending,but my opinion is to get married with just Dressing in common,is a recipe for disaster,theres gotta be more in a relationship than this alone

#2 No.I have been honest from day one with my Wife,she also knows of my past too,I have no secrets from her

#3 I for one Do Not keep anything from my Wife,I respect and love her too much to have any lies or secrets between us,Slushy but true:)

:hugs:Sophie x

[joandher]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

NO NOT REALY, NOT UNLESS WE WERE ATRACTED TO EACH OUTHER

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

NO COMPLETLY OPEN WITH HER

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?


I KNOW AFTER DROPING HINTS,AND SAYING CERTAIN THINGS THAT SHE WOULD NOT EXCEPT ME BEING FULLY DRESSED , SHE DOESNT MIND ME BEING UNDER DRESSED 24/7 .ie HOSE, BRIEFS,CAMI,BRA,NAIL POLISH ON HANDS AND FEET ,EVEN A CHEMISE AT BED TIME, SHE EVEN WASHERS AND IRONS MY UNDIES AND PUTS THEM AWAY ,AND THE DRESSING TABLE HAS MORE COSMETICS OF MINE ON IT THAN HERS, THIS IS WHAT I CANT UNDERSTAND,BUT I RESPECT IT
__________________
:hugs:

J-JAY

[JackieInPA]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Personally, no. But i can see where someone would. Having someone be accepting of us as we are is so rare and incredible that for some it would be enough.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

I have some interests that i don't share because i don't plan on ever acting on them and there is enough worry and stress without adding wood that was never going to be burned to an already unpredictable fire.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

because i have learned that giving too much info is almost as bad if not worse than giving too little. Why should i cause stress and worry on both our parts if i am never going to act? i guarantee you that if i was to say "yes there are certain guys i find attractive." that it would be a sh*t storm of hurt that since i dont plan on acting on any more than the women i find attractive, that my relatuionship dosent need.

[Rianna Humble]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

I don't think that the question of acceptance can be the sole basis for anything. OTOH, I think it could be a show-stopper for a meaningful shared-life-relationship.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

Technically n/a, but my :2c: if you cannot be honest about sexual interests with you SO, why are they your life partner?



18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

Again technically n/a. I think that I would only feel the need to hide things from an SO if she had expressed the desire not to know.

I think that lying to a life-partner is asking for trouble.

I also think that these questions are becoming more and more confrontational.

[TxKimberly]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?


Admitting that I've never had a "casual" relationship with anyone and so probably have no right to speak of one, I would say that I might consider a casual relationship with a woman because she was accepting or found me attractive. By casual I mean no promises and no real expectations or demands. This is also on the theoretical condition that I was single.
This would be out of the question for a "serious" relationship, the only kind I've ever had. There must be so much more between two people were you to try and build a lasting and meaningful relationship. i do not give my love, trust, and future to a woman based on shallow things.







17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?


Yes, always honest. I have no interest at all in men. While I'm fine with the concept of men loving men (IE - I accept others as I would have them accept me) the very thought of a big hairy guy trying to hold or touch me pretty much turns my stomach.





18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

NA for me. If you have read one of my very early threads here about the way I grew up, you may recall that I've seen many marriages fail (not my own) and I was always convinced that it was because they didn't fully trust each other, and I swore I would never be like that. I've always told my wife the truth and the whole story. She is my wife, my best friend, my lover, the mother of my children, and as far as I am concerned she saved my life when we met. Why would I keep secrets from her or lie to her? It's a no brainer. . .

[kasha]

Ladies our awesome GG's have more questions. Thanks again for everyones input!:D If the question does not apply to your situation just put n/a
Week 6:love:

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

I'm in a relationship, and while it's not the only reason we are together it is a very important one. Being accepted for who I am is just as important as accepting my partner for who they are.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

I'm honest, however my sexual interests aren't the only ones. It's important to take turns expressing sexual interests. I think that's the best way avoid hurt feelings, making each other a part of your own interests.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I think it's important in any relationship to retain a piece of ones self. While the door is always open to my partner to know everything about me, its respect and trust that I know my partner won't invade my personal space.




Kasha

[Jessy]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Of course not. Surely it is an important fact whether she accepts me as the person I am, but it can't be the ONLY reason for starting a relationship.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

My sexual interests are in no way related to crossdressing, and I'd always be honest without a doubt about it.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

Currently I have no SO, but in the past I did hide my crossdressing because of the huge fear I had that she'd just dump me, and wouldn't understand. And I had no clue at all how to talk about it, I was still thinking that I was weird myself in those days.
I surely hope in the future to bring up the courage and let her know from the start. No lies and hiding things anymore. It's no easy step but the longer one waits, the harder it gets. And the bigger the chance she won't be forgiving because of the fact I lied.

[Annaliese2010]

Ladies, our awesome GG's have more questions. Thanks again for everyone's input!:D If the question does not apply to your situation just put n/a.
Week 6:love: Aww...:daydreaming:

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?No, there has to be mutual chemistry (elemental attraction) first and foremost. But after that she calls the shots as far as I'm concerned. Does this mean "I'm easy"? No, just that her happiness would be my only priority, outside of work that is. Well...so yea, I guess she'd have to accept my passion for work and the sometimes ungodly amount of my time it consumes. That's the only caveat. But it's unavoidable...for now anyways.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings? N/A But hell...you HAVE to be honest 'bout sex stuff or you might miss out on some great unconventional sex if say, she goes for it but you didn't know that and just assumed no, she wouldn't. Though I guess CD'ing could be a bit much for most GG's...then again...IDK. Is it a generational thing? I mean...I wonder if it's that much of an issue with say...a twenty-something girl? LOL...who am I kidding...of course it would be... Just a fleeting thought... Then again...There's this one middle aged GG (a nurse) I used to have a casual friendship with and we got intimate a dozen times or so...and for kicks I asked her to [*self censoring in progress*] because while I liked her I didn't REALLY REALLY like her so it woulda been no heart breaker if she reacted negative or was weirded out...and as it turned out she was not only accepting, she was downright into it....much more than I expected...in fact it was like she was more into it than me - probably assuming it was fundamentally important to me, or necessary...which it wasn't, in fact it got annoying and a little demeaning with how much she wanted to [***]. Was embarrassing and kind of a turn-off. Sometimes a little is enough, ya know? There's a comfort inherent in 'normalcy' IMO. In fact, when you get extreme for awhile, returning to 'normal ways' BECOMES the new extreme WRT how exciting it is, plus comforting. If that makes any sense...
18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from your spouse/SO?N/A But yea...there truly IS nothing more important than mutual honesty and trust in an essential relationship. One need not be 'open' about all feelings and thoughts, only those that are important in some fundamental way. BUT...it depends on the spouse/SO just as much on the secretive CD'er, right? I mean, what if she (the GG spouse/SO) doesn't really care about what hubby does in his free time? 'Cause, lets say he loves her and he's really good in bed and totally satisfies her. And lets say they have a satisfying mutually shared social life - you know...good friends you both go out and do things with (normal things I mean...dinner, theater, sporting events, just hangin out...whatever...). I mean, with all that, why should she care what he's (she's) up to in his private free-time - even if he WAS secretive about it? I'm just suggesting it depends on the spouse/SO as much as her CD mate. Right? Or, is that being naive?

[docrobbysherry]

16. No
17. NA
18. NA. (Because I assume this question refers to CDing, Di?)

[Kaz]

I am so sorry, I have been getting on the site intermittently, so I have missed most of these... though I think I may have answered a previous one... and I am willing to respond, but I don't understand the questions... they seem to relate to a specific sort of partnership in terms of what is known. So I am not sure how you will analyse the data you get back?

I could answer this but the answers would be meaningless without the contextual aspect....

I am really not sure what you are trying to uncover here... this will not provide you with good data...

In my male life I am a PhD in social science research... I know about this. And I could help?

Kaz xx

[sandra-leigh]

16) No. I know a number of accepting women whom I would not consider a serious relationship with as we just do not match.

17) There is a difference between "honest" and "open". I don't know if there is anything I wouldn't be willing to tell my SO if she were to ask, but as she prefers not to discuss sexual matters, her desire is that I keep such topics to myself.

18) I do not assume that long term trust is more important than short term confrontation. Both have their place. Life is lived as a mix of long term interests and short term interests. A confrontation avoided today can be important in establishing an environment of good-will in which longer term issues can be discussed. For example, you do not complain about socks on the floor every time: you mostly try to let it flow and find a more receptive time to raise the issue.

[suchacutie]

16) no, it would be a part of many important issues.

17) my wife and I can and do discuss anything and everything, including our thoughts concerning intimacy.

18) I see no reason to hide (or any of the other issues on the list) anything from a wife who also hides nothing from me. Regardless, it's hard to hide anything after 37 years of marriage! :)

tina

[bredalee25]

#16 No I wouldn't we have to love one another before I commit to a relationship.

#17 I'm 100% honest about those desires if you aren't a sexual relationship isn't going to work.

#18 N/A

[PretzelGirl]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No, I would also have to be her sex slave. Okay, just kidding. I am married for good. But my mindset if I was to enter a relationship with me being who I am now would be that she would need to be accepting on top of all the things that I looked for or felt when I got married this time. My current wife is accepting, so something worked out there.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

Absolutely. I think it is part of the growing that couples do as the years go on in a marriage. Has nothing to do with crossdressing. This exploration should be common among all couples.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I don't. Easy enough.

[minalost]

I've really enjoyed these questions (for the most part...) please keep them coming...

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No. That would be dumb. There are just too many other things just as (more???) important that CDing. Sure, it would help, and if I ever find myself looking for and SO again, honesty and acceptance would have to be part of the mix. But we would have to "click" in so many other ways too (first???).

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

In that I have no real sexual interests outside of her, yes.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

Because I think she wants it that way. As I've mentioned before, we don't really talk about CDing a lot, and I've come to the conclusion that I have more problems talking about it that she does. I'm trying to be more open, but it's difficult...
:hugs:

[JenniferR771]

16) Yes, probably. I could ignore, bad hair, fat butt, plaid and stripes if a woman were accepting--so valuable--so rare.
17) Do not give her full details of sexual fantasies Etc. She refuses to discuss same. Does not ask questions.
18) The hideing may come from my early years--when I promised my parents that I would never do it again. At the time, I meant it. My SO often refuses to discuss cd. Although she now knows most of my hiding places.

[Andrea Reynolds]

16. Married and wife knows. CDing started during marriage.
17. While some fantasy play occurs, she doesn't need to know I am bisexual.
18. Certain topics have been confrontational in the past. No point looking for an argument.

[JulieK1980]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No, there are many other important aspects for a serious relationship to work as well. However, I would never be interested in dating a woman who was not accepting.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

Completely honest.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I don't hide, minimize, or lie to my wife. :)

[Kerigirl2009]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No, No, No, LOVE is the most important thing in a relationship. First comes Love and Hopefully followed with acceptance. Then you will know what true love is. ( I am hoping some day my true love will find complete acceptance)

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

I would like to be more open about my sexual interests. I would not say that I gloss my interests over. I have been married for almost sixteen years and I would love to expand my sexual interests but I am unsure of how to bring up the subject to find out what her sexual interests include.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I am rebuilding my trust with her after keeping this a secret from her for nearly fifteen years. I am at a point of trying to be COMPLETELY honest with my wife without going fast and letting the pink fog take over my senses. I would love to be as open with this as with any other subject married couples have. So being open is not the same thing as bombarding her with subjects that you know will cause an argument. I think it is all about timing and putting your wife first without squashing your own interests.

[Blaire]

16 - not the sole reason, but I'm sure it would allow for a few extra compromises.

17 - I'm much more open-minded than my wife, and some things she just doesn't want to hear. She's aware of all my fantasies that I may want to fulfill. But some should stay as fantasies, and she may not hear about those.

18 - I don't hide anymore, but I don't go out of my way to shove it down her throat either. There are some things I know she's prefer not to know. There's a difference in being open and honest, and having to recount every second of your unsupervised life.

The last q is quite specific again, with an obviously missing backstory. The asker shouldn't be asking us, but her SO. My answer has no bearing on his.

[Satrana]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?
While it would be a big plus and would undoubtedly be a motivator to date initially, a relationship has many dimensions and the normal issues would quickly become more important.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?
I was partially honest at the beginning but I felt some things were too much to reveal all at once. Also sexuality is a very personal thing and not something as a man I have ever been able to discuss openly. So there was glossing over but my wife regularly talks to other CDs online and so knew there was more to reveal and eventually dragged the truth out of me.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?
Largely this is because we condition ourselves to consider some things too personal, too shameful to admit to. We fear the extra information may be the one to break the camel's back. I think it is normal for everyone to minimize information that cannot be construed as being a good thing or helpful to a relationship.

You can always reverse this question and ask why GGs need to find out every last detail? Knowing the guilt involved would it not be respectful to give the CDer the personal space they need so that they can one day accept themselves and volunteer the information when they are ready to do so. Often we do not have the answers you seek.

[Deborah Jane]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No!!
Acceptance is nice, but there has to be more to a relationship than that. Our relationship is built on many things, ie the fact that we can talk, make each other laugh, etc. We are more than husband and wife, we are soulmates. Acceptance is just a bonus.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

There are no secrets from either of us in this department.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I don't hide anything, there's no point, she'll find out sooner or later anyway.

[Renee_E]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

NO

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

My SO doesn't want to discuss sexual interests.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

Force of habit. It was good enough for our parents so why not just continue the tradition.

[Tina B.]

Week 6:love:

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?No, but I wouldn't get into a relationship with out it either. it's not the only thing, but it is important.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?Yes, although it is a boring subject.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO? I don't, when you have acceptance, you don't need to.
Tina B.

[BRANDYJ]

Ladies our awesome GG's have more questions. Thanks again for everyones input!:D If the question does not apply to your situation just put n/a
Week 6:love:

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Absolutely not. And it has been tested. When I was looking for a mate, I had told a few different women about my being a crossdresser. All very open to it and accepting. But the chemistry was simply not there to start a relationship. One of which is a dear friend today. Other's simply were not a matcvh for even a friendship.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

100% open and honest about it. No, I don't gloss over it at all. She knows I had been with other CD's in the past and that I have fantasies about being with a male BUT only if it included her. That will more then likely rermain a fantasy even though she shares that fantasy too.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I do not and never have hid anything from her. I have no need to hide anything. We are both just that open and honest with each other. In my opinion, if you can't be open and honest with each other, you do not have a lasting relationship. Sometimes it's hard to be honest, but it has always worked out for the best for both of us.

[Lorileah]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Not as a sole purpose but it would be a "given" that she be comfortable with me dressing


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?
I have told them about what I would have liked but it never panned out. Now...I really have no interests.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I will take DRS's assumption that this is about being TG in some manner. It would be out front. If this means what happened August of 1978, if it comes up then it will be discussed, otherwise what either one of us did or didn't do in a last life in non-consequential

[5150 Girl]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Sole reason? No. However it is now an important criteria


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

There is nothing to hide here, as I have no plans with another man. I am truly a lesbian traped in the wrong body! Men discust me, which is why I am as i am.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?
There are no lies, or anything hidden here. I was up front with my Polar Bear for the start.
At first, I thought this would be a good place to tell my story, but as I wrote it, I decidedit needed a thead of it's own. So I think I shal do that in a thread that I will slug, "When kitty met Polar Bear"

[sissystephanie]

16. No!

17. N/A

18. N/A

These 3 did not even require much thinking!

[Lexine]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Not at all. I'm not one to rush head first into a relationship unless there's chemistry and compatibility between us.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

Yes. We're very upfront to each other. I have no sexual fetish attached to CDing, so I'm not sure if this question is pertinent to my lifestyle.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

My girlfriend knows about my CDing and absolutely loves it. I don't ever feel the need to minimize, lie, or hide things from her because she understands my motivations. If not, I always restate it to her.

[msniki48]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No i don't think i could commit myself to a person if that was our only common thread. I do feel i would not continue a relationship if she could not be accepting, for i have learned over the years I could not hide myself any longer...so there would be problems of incompatability. I have been lucky 2 times in my life. My 1st wife passed in 2001 we learned about niki together. My present wife was told the first time we decided to date on a regular basis. she is totally accepting, and considers it a gift.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

Totally, even when i was thinking of transition. I was concerned that the hormones would have an affect on my preference...several TS sisters found this to be the case. in their minds they were hetero as men and as they became physically woman, they were still hetero. Several sisters are now married.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I find myself lucky in this department as i don't have to lie. It was not always the case....it was 22 yrs of marriage before i told my 1st wife. I did not know what it was to be TG.... i was concerned about myself..[self loathing] is one big reason for not disclosing to anyone. it was the therapist who put me at ease...this is when i found my true inner self. also my wife, once knowing it is natural and not perverted, grew to accept and love me as niki. she gave me my name



Once again Di, thank you for making me think. i hope this helps .

hugs:hugs:

[corrinediane]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?
Perhaps

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?
I am guilty of glossing over but not to avoid hurting her feelings. I should have bought that thing for her that let her know what I wanted!

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?
Avoid would be more appropriate. If asked pointedly then I would have to give her the truth whether she likes it or not. If you don't want to know, don't ask. But then don't ask if you already know the answer!

[AKAMichelle]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Never because no relationship with me would ever start because I am a cd'er. Every woman that I meet would find out afterwards.


17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

Yes, but this has always led to a fight. My desires have nothing to do with another person or cd'ing as part of our love making. She was raised of the puritan beliefs about sex and she never understood that after you get married you get to make your own rules.


18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

Simple to avoid fights. Men run from fights as we can't win unless a woman lets us win. We tire of the conflict and escape to a safe quiet spot every time.

[RozalynLove]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No, that is a terrible sole reason to become seriously involved with someone, and would most likely lead to great amounts of pain for both of the people involved.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

I do not currently have a SO, however I was honest with all the previous partners I have had and will obviously continue to be with any in the future.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I do consider long term trust to be a lot more important than avoiding a short term confrontation, which is why I would not attempt to do any of those things. However, it seems pretty obvious to me that the people who do this, do it out of the fear that it will not just be a short term confrontation, but will permanently change how their spouse views them, perhaps even thinking that it may change their view of them so much that they no longer want to be with the cross dresser.

[flatlander_48]

Week 6

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

No, not a good enough reason

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

She knows about my history and where things sit for me now. The only thing I have not shared is fantasies because they should remain private. I think they lose some of their uniqueness and potency if you tell people (assuming you are not going to act them out).

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

I don't.

[sometimes_miss]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?
Really depends on how much we are apart in other general beliefs and feelings.
17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?
I've always avoided telling anyone about my real sexual desires; women want to be feminine, and want masculine men. Even the image of their partner being feminine seems to disturb the vast majority of women, and may destroy any attraction they have to him. So no, I'm not honest about my sexual desires. In discussions with the few women I've had as friends, they've pretty much agreed with my theories. Sad.
18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?
As above, women can't handle the idea that their male mate is anything less than the strong, protective male that she thinks he is. The idea that he could ever be submissive and weak in any way seems very disturbing to them. Historically, women relied on men for protection, so this is not a new revelation.

[AmandaM]

16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?

Personally, no. But i can see where someone would. Having someone be accepting of us as we are is so rare and incredible that for some it would be enough.

17) Are you honest with your SO about your sexual interests or do you gloss over it to avoid hurt feelings?

I have some interests that i don't share because i don't plan on ever acting on them and there is enough worry and stress without adding wood that was never going to be burned to an already unpredictable fire.

18) Assuming long term trust is more important than a short term confrontation why do you feel the need to continue to minimize, lie, or hide things from you spouse/SO?

because i have learned that giving too much info is almost as bad if not worse than giving too little. Why should i cause stress and worry on both our parts if i am never going to act? i guarantee you that if i was to say "yes there are certain guys i find attractive." that it would be a sh*t storm of hurt that since i dont plan on acting on any more than the women i find attractive, that my relatuionship dosent need.

I agree. Besides, lots of guys lear at the next door neighbor, and some maybe even fantasize about her during sex with the wife. I'm sure lots of stuff goes unsaid. Guys also don't say when they ain't getting enough at home, or she doesn't, ahem, fell%#te anymore. If I were a wife, I'd worry about the big sexual issues, not the small ones.