Those who are out? Any regrets?

[heathr1]

Or was it the best thing you did?

[Natalie x]

Yes I am! No I don't! Yes it is! :thumbsup:

[Mx Justina]

My only regrets about being "out" (irrespective of assorted risks past experienced)...is not having the wisdom and temerity (when I was still a teen) to have fully come "out" then... Can't recoup all the denied past life potential.

J.

[Stephanie Mancini]

Well and truly out, none whatsoever, Stephanie has truly come of age and found herself without a doubt


Steph

[Julie]

I'm out to the family, not my doing, which forced me into damage control. I resent not having control over being outed and am saddened by my son's alienation as well as that of some of my family and friends. If I had to do it over again, I would have found a spouse who could handle this without needing to discuss it with anyone she felt 'needed to know'. There was no malice on her part, just an inability to handle this on her own.

[Stacie Stockman]

Was the best thing that I did. No more hiding, feeling guilty and ashamed. I suppressed this side of myself for way too long and damn Stacie is not going back into the closet!

[mand]

Hello Heathr ..........Regrets?, only that I didn't do it many years ago and saved living most of my life as a lie.
When I did "come out", around six years ago now I had no choice.
All of my life from my earliest memories I have always known that I didn't "fit in" with the world, that being male was wrong for me. I did all the right things that a boy was susposed to do, everything I did was to try and fit in with my physical gender, however I knew at every step of the way I was not doing what I really wanted to do. I was not being me, I was simply trying to live as I was expected too, by family, friends, and society as a whole.
The pressure of living a lie, a false life came to a head and I had two choices, I could end my exsistance and escape the pain or I could stop the pretence and face the consequences of being true to my nature, my mind and soul.
I chose the second option, It was not easy and it still isn't but it's getting better and little by little family and people who know me are accepting this different kind of female..............I'm getting there slowly.

So no regrets, it saved my life.

love mand xxx

[racquel]

out-yes
regrets-no
best thing-yes.
Like several of the girls have stated I wish I had started when I was a teenager and passed sooo much easier. :rolleyes:

[Jenny Beth]

I am out to only three people, my wife, her sister and my daughter. Not only are there no regrets but I am glad to be out to them. So yeah, best thing that ever happened!

[NatalieBliss]

Out: I have only told my 'lil sis.
Regrets: A little to early to tell, but does not seem likely!
Best thing: YES. As I stated before in other posts/my blog I had known for a while it was hurting me emotionaly and was hoping for acceptance but really just needed to stop hidding that part of me if even to only one person.

I will be telling more of my family and maybe somefriends when timing is right.

[Melissa Ryan]

I,m happy too! I dont dress 24/7 but when I do I am comfortable around most people. :)

.......Melissa............

[MaylinJane]

I'm out to my wife. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. It would have saved me alot of repressed anger and stress. I feel so much happier now. It was like I was hauling around a bag of bricks before. I could never go back, in fact my wife worries more when I don't dress than when I do.

May

[Deborah]

I'm out to my parents brother and sisters and my ex-wife knows (a little worried about that one) Other then that i'm in the closet still.
My family is supportive. Its not like i'm a gang member, doing drugs or in jail.

[kimmjacoby]

"Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.(macho?, not me!)
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption."

lost my best friend(male) of 20 years:( , but made many more friends after coming out to everyone. NO MORE LIES! the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders!:)

[Mandy Salamander]

out over 9 years now, everywhere but work,,, no regrets,,,, probably not the best thing i've ever done, at least not yet, but pretty damn close and doo wish i could've come out when young

[CharleneCD]

Out- Yes

Regrets-No

I am going to add another catagory though.

Problems- Yes

While I have no regrets about coming out, I am verry happy I did, it has created problems. It is amazing how stressed and crazy some people can be over something they havnt seen, but just know about. Our families have taken it upon themselves to worry endlessly after finding out about my being TG. Bunny and I just keep telling them its not a problem.
Also another issue is loss of control when those you come out to decide to tell others. For the most part I dont mind, but I would at least like to have a little warning. I hate to be blindsided with questions from people I wasn't aware that knew.

Still all in all I would do it again. I just dont want others to see only the rosy side of it.

[kysmet]

No regrets whatsoever. I'm learning to love who I am. Completely.

Ericka Jean

[GypsyKaren]

Seemed like the thing to do at the time, and I don't believe in regrets anymore.

GypsyKaren

[Sharon]

Regrets? Yeah, some. Many more people know about me than I would have preferred, but it hasn't been as bad as I anticipated.
And -- even with this regret -- coming out is still something that was the right thing to do for me.

[iseiai no okama]

Honestly, i'm not fully out to everyone, but the experience has been overwhelmingly positive, which shows that i really know how to pick my friends. i've even met more friends because they wanted to help me out. Most of them, i never had to explain CDing was separate from homosexuality, either. It's been wonderful.

Still, i know i can't come out to my parents (i have came out to my sister) because although my mom might accept it, she would tell my dad, and he would convince her not to be okay with it, and as when i was neopagan, and later agnostic, try to solve the problem with a heavy does of salted Baptist church.

[Fallen Angel]

im just sorry i dint start a bit younger

[sue_donim]

Out - yes for over 10 years now

Regrets - being in the closet in the first place

Best thing - definately

Since I came out (even though it was forced) I have in my opinion, become a better person. My confidence has increased, my female look has improved, I feel liberated.

I was once a young caterpillar crawling along life's highway, then I realised I was different so I wrapped myself in a cacoon. Now I have emerged a beautiful butterfly and I have spread my wings and flown.

Sue_donim :)

[Jodi]

Out--Yes to family and to a number of friends. I try to be discreet as to who might know. I use the adage that I tell those that have a need to know.

Regrets--No. As others have said, just wish I had done this 40 years ago and not 6 years ago. It would have saved me much pain, guilt and temperament problems.

Can't say for sure whether it's the best thing or not, but it has worked for me.

Jodi

[Katie Ashe]

Any regrets... split two ways here.

1: I wish I'd had the courage :o to stand up for myself years ago, and admit I like dressing.

2: If I had come out years ago, I wouldn't have fallen under this forum. This is one hell of a support group. :thumbsup:

[Priscilla1018]

I am out to my wife,no more hiding my stash,no more worrying about getting caught,no more lies.My only regret,like many have said,is not doing it sooner.I have all of my sisters to thank for giving me the courage to come out.

[urban gypsy]

Out-Yes to afew

Regrets-some but not to many

wish i had come out younger/ earlier to family, maybe they would have been less shocked by the news.

[Vallari]

When I came out, it wasn't really optional for me at the moment - my parent's confronted me about an account I had on a gay internet site, with a pic of Val right there on the screen. At first things were really rough going between us all and I questioned wheather being out was such a good idea, but now it's been about a year or so and it feels great. The subject of my CD'ing is pretty cold between my parents and I, but with me and my friends it's awesome. All in all, it's worth it to come out I think - life is better and easier because of it.

[Katie Lynn]

The only person who personally knows me that knows I am out is my g/f, and her knowing is honestly probably one of the best things in life. Having held up this feeling as long as I could remember, and now being able to share it with someone is amazing. Not only that, but I get to go out dressed with her all the time.

In all honesty I think my parents and grandparents know too, but I have one of those dont ask dont tell families. I know they would never think less of me if they did know, but I wouldnt feel comfortable around them dressed, and there is no other reason for them to know.

I do know this, and if you have read some of my other threads maybe you have caught the excitement in my typing...but going out and about in public, functioning like a reqular young woman is a feeling that I can not describe, but its way beyond awesome for me. My only regret is that I didnt meet my wonderful g/f earlier in life, but I do believe everything happens for a reason.

[Brianne_bc]

Been great... a long time dream came true too ;) if ya know what i mean... The only down side I guess is the lack of the extreme thrill of being caught. You know that electric thrill that no longer is there, its not the same when your wife comes home from work and says oh honey you look nice today... you got dressed up.

[MsMichelle]

No I don't regret being out, even though not to everyone I know.

Yes I certainly regret waiting as long as I did to get out in public, it's one of my greatest joys.

Yes I regret not telling my wife sooner, the constant hiding and making lies was a stess and burden way to heavy to have carried any longer.

I still believe that:

"You tell nobody that doesn't need to know, unless you have something to gain and it's neither a selfish nor narcistic rationale"

[Angela Burke]

Or was it the best thing you did?

Most definitely yes!

regretting the precious time wasted beating my brains out!

Oh for an old head on a young body!

Love Angela XX

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i have told my wife - my marriage is not pretty much blown up...we are still together but i'm not confident...she finds x-dressing gross and disgusting...blah blah blah..we have other issues too but the x-dressing came out in an attempt to get it ALL out on the table..

what is interesting is in telling my mom about our marriage issues..i told her about x-dressing....WOW!!! it just came out...she said she knew!!!! and whats the big deal...
i cannot tell you how much lighter in my heart that made me feel...she told my DAD!!! and he just said dont worry about it and said he hopes i can work things out with my wife and he's there anytime he needs me...i'm almost crying as i write this...

the thing is my parents are great and handled it wonderfully...coming out brings NO PROMISES!!! but if you can find some people to talk to about it (i didnt for 42 yrs) its amazing how great it feels..

good luck and god bless to any of you that are thinking of or in the midst of telling your loved ones.. btw...im not telling my brother or my friends..just don't want (need?) to at this time

-michele

[Karren H]

The only reget I have is that I didn't do it sooner and didn't get serious about dressing younger!!

Karren