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Persephone
05-26-2010, 04:15 PM
Just received this from a few of my GG friends and thought we (and especially the Moms here) might enjoy it.


THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids each night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.


A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!


After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....

I'm going to bed.

pamela_a
05-26-2010, 04:24 PM
Thank you so much for this. I've just copied it to send to all my girlfriends.

Kathi Lake
05-26-2010, 05:37 PM
Oh, come on! Is that it?! This sounds like a pretty average day (except they take both dance and music lessons). Welcome to my world (without all the crampy/bloaty things, of course :)).

Well, there is one area that I fall short on - the whole corresponding thing. My parents never taught me that it was required, so I just don't do it. I guess I'm not a real mom, then.

I'd write more, but I have to go pick up the kids from school, get them fed, the oldest to Scouts, the youngest to ballet, get my wife's dry cleaning, pick up my wife at the train station, get her fed, finish folding the laundry that I didn't get to last night (this morning around 1:30, actually), make sure the house is clean in case the realtor wants a showing, pick up the kids, etc., etc.

:)

Kathi

sissystephanie
05-26-2010, 06:35 PM
In my younger days I was very much like Kathi! Except I only had two kids and no music lessons. But the rest was pretty much the same, except for no cramps or bloating thank heaven!!

charlie
05-26-2010, 07:36 PM
Ouch!! Just the three kids and different sports with meals was enough! No way.

Katari
05-27-2010, 06:06 PM
That would be easy...especially up to my ex's standards...She knew None of it and done none of it...I done it all for her

Katari

Kathi Lake
05-27-2010, 06:08 PM
Ouch!! Just the three kids and different sports with meals was enough! No way.But Charlie, you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world! Am I busy? Yup! Am I tired? You bet. Am I fulfilled? Yes, yes, yes! I never wanted to be like Bill Cosby's definition of a dad, ". . . vaguely aware of some short people living in the house." That was the way I was raised. My father (before he ran off for the last time) was a shadowy figure who occasionally made an appearance. I call it, "Drive-by discipline."

Instead, I - while not a mother, being the wrong gender and all - get to bond with my kids on a level that is so satisfying and so fulfilling that my wife and I sometimes talk about me staying home to care for the kids. I love picking them up from school. I love being Room Mom (the other mothers are jealous of my cupcakes!) for my daughter's class. I love taking them to the library, the park, the zoo. I love the hours between picking them up from school and dinner - listening to their piano practicing, helping with homework, etc. I love knowing all of their hopes and dreams. I love them coming to me to ask me about their problems. I love doing my daughter's hair in the morning, and her hair and makeup for ballet recitals. I love it all!

Basically, I love being so invested in their lives. In our house, my wife is the primary earner. She has the high-pressure job with the long hours. She jokes about it at times - even gave me a Mother's Day card a few years ago. Sometimes though, she thinks that she made me this way. In other words, she thinks I am feminine and like to dress as a woman because I have to pick up the slack and the traditionally feminine jobs she can't, that I also pick up the feminine mindset, attitudes, fashion choices and desires of a woman. Basically, she blames herself and says "It's my fault. I turned you into a woman!" I've tried to tell her that I've been this way long before all of this, but she is a woman, and therefore creates guilt and self-doubt like no other. :)

Anyway, what I'm trying to say (in 16,000 words or less. Promise! :)) is that there may be no harder job on the planet, but it's the one that gets me up in the morning and one that I love like no other.

:)

Kathi

SuzanneBender
05-27-2010, 07:00 PM
Wow. This sounds exactly like my wife except add in teaching a classroom full of kids from 7:30 to 3:00 every day. I am going to run out and buy her some roses! :love:

We joke about me stepping back after I retire from my first career (a little over 3 years Yippie!) and her become the breadwinner and me becoming the domestic goddess. She lovingly reminds me that two of our kids will be driving at that point and life will be so much simpler. Duh like I don't realize that........

Seriously, I try my best to help, but a few loads of laundry (I call them loads of love) and taking the kids to ball practice when I am not on the road for work pales in comparison to all she does.

Peri Bender
05-27-2010, 08:51 PM
Suzanne - Where are my flowers???

I love you and all you do for and with the family:)

Persephone
05-28-2010, 01:20 AM
But Charlie, you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world! Am I busy? Yup! Am I tired? You bet. Am I fulfilled? Yes, yes, yes! I never wanted to be like Bill Cosby's definition of a dad, ". . . vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."

Kathi

I swear, except for a few small details and your damn foxy figure, you and I lead very parallel lives, Kathi.

And, like you, now that my son is a grown man, I wouldn't have traded my full-time homemaker "Mom" time for the world -- quite the contrary, like many women, I traded the world for that time, and I'm glad.

I always thought of a different line, not Bill Cosby's, but the intent was the same. I think mine is from Death of a Salesman, but I can't find it right now.

Anyway, it's the businessman dad when he brings home the pony his daughter wanted for her birthday, presents it to her and says, "Happy Birthday, Darling!"

And she says, "But Dad, I wanted a pony when I was nine, I'm 21 now."

Hugs,
Persephone.

Kathi Lake
05-28-2010, 11:44 AM
Wow. This sounds exactly like my wife except add in teaching a classroom full of kids from 7:30 to 3:00 every day. I am going to run out and buy her some roses! :love:Oh my! I wanted to be a teacher, and even substituted for a bit, but it was a class of third-graders during the 70's. I don't know if I could do it now. Peri, my hat (even though I look silly in them and therefore don't wear one) is off to you! You deserve roses and so much more!


Suzanne - Where are my flowers???C'mon, Suze! Get on the stick! Your woman deserves flowers! :)


I swear, except for a few small details and your damn foxy figure, you and I lead very parallel lives, Kathi.Loved the Death of a Salesman quote. Sadly, I know so many fathers like that - even at church. A couple of the girls there in the youth group call me dad - even on Facebook. Their real dads are just absent - not physically, but in their kids lives. Is there anything sadder?

By the way, you have a great figure! Don't sell yourself short. That's my job!

:)

Kathi