Left them crying

[tamarav]

Two incidents recently.

First, I was in a bar/lounge not frequented by our sort of folk. Sitting, watching the dancers, dancing a bit, drinking a glass of wine. Slimy dude slithers up and starts his come-on talk. It almost sounded like a script. He finished with "Oh baby, could I ever show you a good time".

So I said, "Oh honey, I would love to show you an even better time" and handed him my card for the dojo where I teach Karate.

Second one.
Sitting at the bar in a sorta accepting bar with a nice dance floor. I danced maybe 4 dances, was tired, sat back down and continued drinking my wine. Dude slips in onto the next bar stool, drooling all over himself. (I don't mean this to sound egotistical, you know how some men are) I had extremely low cleavage with massive exposure, kind of a risk but I loved it.

He sat there talking at me but looking directly at my breasts. Then his line, "My god, I would to massage those breasts". So I happily took out a silicone form and plooped it on the bar and said "Go to it big guy".

The bartender treated me to free drinks the rest of the night.

[az_azeel]

:lol2: Tamara that second tale is soooo funny... would loved to have seen his face... :heehee:

[DonniDarkness]

I just laughed so hard, my wife came in and asked if i was ok!!

She tends bar and when i read your post to her, we laughed until our faces hurt, we would have loved to see that!!

What was his response after you plopped the form on the bar?

[t-girlxsophie]

ha ha pure class.:notworthy::lol2:

[Leslie Langford]

...and I, for one, can't wait to hear what you're going to do for an encore when a similar situation presents itself in the future :thumbsup:.

And to think that some of us are still so deep in the closet that we can't even bring ourselves to reveal our true natures to our loved ones - and then there's YOU!

Sis, you're certainly raising the bar for the rest of us in terms of being "out and proud", to borrow a phase from our gay and lesbian counterparts.

[pernille d]

both good but nr2 is just super super cool . i would have loved to see his face , i bet it was a picture .

thanks for that bit of humor :)

[Christie ann]

left them crying and me laughing. Thanks for sharing

[Deborah Jane]

Nice one Tamara, the second story cracked me up :lol2::lol2:

[tamarav]

Follow-up on incident number 2:

He turned cherry red, sat there for maybe 15 seconds staring at the breast form, then back at me, then back to the breast form. Then he very quietly slid off his stool and damn near fell over, walked out with his head down. The entire bar had followed this guy's exploits before and I didn't realize so many people were watching how I would handle him. I too turned very red.

As for those of you who are deeply buried, I was once in the closet. I got so mad at myself that I swore I would have as much fun as I could before I took a dirtnap. Yes, there is some element of courage, but once you have been shot at it is easy...

[Nicole Erin]

YOu might gain another student, I mean what the heck ya know? :)

The silicone -
What if he DID begin massaging it? Then how would you have reacted?

[tamarav]

If he were to actually reach for it, I would have told him to "be gentle". I picked it up as he left.

[DonniDarkness]

Tamarav,

My wife says you have to ask the bartender if he was a regular...She says being behind the bar, she sees these "pick-up line" types all the time, and most women dont ever embarrass them back like you have. And if that guy was a regular, and does this to a lot of women there, you probably became an instant heroine for dealing with him in a way that embarassed him so bad.

She also says she would love to be able to "de-tach", just so she could plop one on the bar one time to keep the staring down!!!

Keep being a heroess

-Donni and Sugar-

[TGMarla]

ROFL!!!!

:lol:

[MrKunk]

lmao that 2nd one was extremely hilarious.

[shedevilcd]

OMG girl that was priceless.........I wish that more people had the courage that you have......I bet he doesnt do that again...

[Sandra]

Tamara that second one is so funny and reminds me of when Nigella did something similar at work to one of her colleges.

[joandher]

Tamara ,
That's got to be the best I've heard for a very long time, it cracked me up and I cant stop laughing even now, my wife thinks I've banged my head or had a funny turn, Funny being the word.
I would have loved to have been there,just to see the expression on his face when you plopped it on the bar like a wobbly jelly ,I bet you have put him off Girls for a very long time

NICE GOING ANYWAY

BIG BIG HUGS :love:

J-JAY

[SherriePall]

Tamara -- The weather here has been kind of gloomy today, but you really brightened up my day with those accounts. I don't think I would have the nerve to do that at a bar of anyplace like that.
Well, come to think of it, I did it once at David's Bridal. My consultant was telling me that one dress would look good if I had some forms (she thought I was only wearing a padded strapless bra. I reached in and removed my VS enhancer and asked if she meant something like that.

But that comes nowhere near to ridding that linemaster the way you did!

[JulieK1980]

That has got to be the funniest thing I've read all day!!! LMAO!!!

Where are you in the Pacific Northwest? I used to live in Oak Harbor, Wa... I miss the mountains out there!

[Lorileah]

Tamara my new heroine! :D

[Kate Simmons]

The best part is we can take 'em out and put them back in the drawer when we're done.:)

[giuseppina]

What a hoot! What was the reaction from the other patrons to these clowns?

These guys had it coming. :rofl:

[Lynn Marie]

Heck, that's no big deal, I could've done that. You just beat me to it. Great story Tami. Yes I did LOL

[JulieC]

Then his line, "My god, I would to massage those breasts". So I happily took out a silicone form and plooped it on the bar and said "Go to it big guy".

:rofl: : :rofl: :rofl:

Absolutely TOO funny! It's great the bartender gave you free drinks!

[SuzanneBender]

Dear you made my day. Story number two is the best. I had to get a tissue I was crying so hard from laughter.



As for those of you who are deeply buried, I was once in the closet. I got so mad at myself that I swore I would have as much fun as I could before I took a dirtnap.

Thats the perfect attitude. You have fun with who you are its a lesson that many of us could follow.

[Lori31]

that is too funny.

[Madilyn A.]

Tamara, Another one of your great stories. You are an amazing person, love your posts !

[Jenna Stunned]

Then his line, "My god, I would to massage those breasts". So I happily took out a silicone form and plooped it on the bar and said "Go to it big guy".
The bartender treated me to free drinks the rest of the night.

ROTF :heehee:That is way to funny!!!!!! You go girl, That will teach him a leason in mannors.

[Karen564]

He sat there talking at me but looking directly at my breasts. Then his line, "My god, I would to massage those breasts". So I happily took out a silicone form and plooped it on the bar and said "Go to it big guy".

The bartender treated me to free drinks the rest of the night.

I really wish I was there to see it, but would of fell off my stool for sure after that one....:lol::lol::lol:

Ya, You Rock girl...!!:drink:
And that's the right attitude to have..:thumbsup:

[Samantha B L]

Tamarav, those stories are classics. It's been my experience that some guys think a "TV" will "do anything". I learned the hard way that you will have to let those guys know at the outset that it's "nuthin' doin'". Congrats and salu for laying down the law to those guys!




Samantha

[Karinsamatha]

My stomach hurts from story 2! I would have loved to have seen the face - must have been absolutely priceless :D. :hugs:

[sherri]

Hilarious stories. Wish I was such a quick thinker. I don't mind being hit on at the clubs, in fact I like it - if the guy is cool about it. My most comical encounter lately was this wormy little guy who kept following me around telling me how he was gonna "rock my world". I was trying to be gentle with him, but eventually he said it loud enough that my gay friends overheard him and started howling. He left with his tail between his legs.

[Sarah_GG]

That's hilarious Tamara! What a fantastic line!

Stevie may well borrow it for our trip out tonight :D

[Phyliss]

Go back to that same bar in about a month, and see if mr. lounge lizard has dared to show his smarmy face.

Love the way you put him in his place.

[AKAMichelle]

While I liked the first one, I loved the second one. In fact I am still laughing 5 minutes later.

Great Story.

[Bethany38]

Now Tamara that was the funniest thing I have read, or heard in a long,long time. The second one left me lmao. Thank you so much for the much needed smile.:D

[steftoday]

Dear Tamara-
You rock. :D

-stef

[KandisTX]

Tamara, Sometimes your stories are just what I need to brighten my day. ;) Your second story reminded me of one time when I was out with my GG girlfriend once with a bunch of other T-gurls. We were all sitting at a big table and this guy came up and hit on every girl (GG and T), except for my GF. One of the girls asked why he didn't ask her if he could buy her a drink, he said "She looks like a dude". At that moment the 4 CD's that were there all burst out laughing (as did she). He asked what was so funny, we told him that the first 4 he hit on were all men.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Sarah Doepner]

I was with a group once where a girl pulled out a form and put it in with a sandwich to silence a loudmouth. It silenced the entire room. For a minute and then it was a wonderful chaos. I don't know that I'd have the strength of character or quick wit to do anything like this. Congrats to you for quick thinking and "Phooey" to the jerk who is lucky he didn't get whacked with a purse instead of offered what he asked for. I just hope you didn't have any adhesive issues when you pulled the form out. Ouch.

[Presh GG]

OMG!
We don't live far from you and I would have given anything to have been there at that bar !
Sometimes I wish we drank... It's been 20 years sinse I've heard these pick-up lines .

You go, girl !!!!
Presh

[vivianann]

Tamarav you have made all of us laugh ourselves to tears. I enjoyed both stories, the second one was the best. I love going out enfemme, because you never know when something very funny is going to happen.:D

[carolinoakland]

2nd is the best I bet he broke his jaw on the bar when it hit...

[kaleyg]

and courageous

[dilane]

Pretty funny, Tamara, but I could never do that. I don't want to trigger a confrontation (although I can take care of myself).

I would be much too embarrassed to disassemble myself in public :) Nor do I carry a spare in my purse :)

And second, it's just not in me to be mean. I just say, "You're out of line, Mister", and if need be get the assistance of the bartender or bouncer. Only if I feel threatened will I escalate things. Fortunately others have come to my aid the few times I've felt endangered over my 20+ years out and about.

One of my friends who shows massive clevage has two lines she uses:

"Hey, I'm up here!" and "What are you looking at??".

When the charms are on display, it's a given that you're going to get some strong reactions from the less cooth or the blitzed, no?

You've got a lot of moxie, girl!

[Midnight Skye]

Thank you for the smiles Tamara! I would pay to sit in a theater to watch what you did to that second guy! That's just too much fun! I hate to think of how I'd react... my perception of sexuality is warped... and a bad come on doesn't insult me yet...

[Alice B]

You can't help but love the second story. Wish I was there to witness it. Well done. :hugs:

[Christina Horton]

Your my hero. I would have done something like that if I thought of THAT. WOW. You and I think alike. The difference is you look like a women where is I don't. Love you zest on life......Just.....Like.....Me!!!!!! :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

[Fab Karen]

Follow-up on incident number 2:

He turned cherry red, sat there for maybe 15 seconds staring at the breast form, then back at me, then back to the breast form. Then he very quietly slid off his stool and damn near fell over, walked out with his head down. The entire bar had followed this guy's exploits before and I didn't realize so many people were watching how I would handle him. I too turned very red.

:lol::clap: You made the clueless loser do "the walk of shame":)

[tamarav]

I worked with a straight guy at a hair salon who confessed that he hit on as many girls as he could with the hopes that at least one would put out for him. Then he told us that his "average" for success was about one girl for every 35 come-ons. Many of the girls he talked about finally just said OK because he wore them down. He may be my inspiration to turn off some guys.

I am not that rude to 99% of the guys that talk to me, its just that he was getting louder and louder, didn't listen to my first three "I'n not interested in you" statements.

I generally don't hit anyone, either with my purse or hands. Feet are much longer and much more effective. If you ever see me out and see me dropping my shoes on the floor, I would move away...

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I absolutely loved the second story. I couldn't remember the end of the first one when I told the second one to my wife, my brother and his wife last night. My brother and his wife both know about me but are a bit awkward about it. They absolutely loved the story. :D

My brother also does karate, so I'll have to try to remember the first story for next time I visit him. :)

[Mandy]

Hi Tamara,

Wish I had been a fly on the wall at the time, bet the expression on that guys face was priceless:heehee:

BTW that would have been the sort of thing that I would have done:hugs:

[suchacutie]

OMG Tamara that was fantastic! Not only is it hilarious but that's a move we should all keep in our quivers!

thank you so much!!

tina