I'm wondering why...

[Kate Simmons]

...some folks, despite being here for years have never shown a picture of themselves en femme in either their avatar or profile. I know some will say they would be recognized or that they have a high profile job or a job in security and cannot take the risk. If someone you know does see you here, how will they explain what they were doing here? The thing is if you cannot share with your "family" here, who can you share with? I sometimes find it hard to take someone seriously if I cannot see who is talking to me, despite words of wisdom. I respect eveyone's right to anonymity but truthfully don't see the need for it in a place like this where the other folks are like family. What do you think?

[Sedona]

It doesn't bother me a bit that some don't want to put up their photo. Everyone has their reasons why they choose to be more or less discrete. Also, (as far as I'm aware) I've never met a single person here in person. Even the most gregarious of us have only met a small percentage. Do any of us truly know everybody else on this site?

I consider CDers just like I consider everybody else: Mostly good and well-intentioned people, with some idiots, incompetents and jerks mixed in. If I or anybody else doesn't want to tell all and bare all to unknowns, it's understandable.

[Danielle Gee]

It doesn't bother me a bit that some don't want to put up their photo. Everyone has their reasons why they choose to be more or less discrete. Also, (as far as I'm aware) I've never met a single person here in person. Even the most gregarious of us have only met a small percentage. Do any of us truly know everybody else on this site?

I consider CDers just like I consider everybody else: Mostly good and well-intentioned people, with some idiots, incompetents and jerks mixed in. If I or anybody else doesn't want to tell all and bare all to unknowns, it's understandable.

It was a big leap for me to post my avitar photo and I'm sure many others have their reasons for not doing so. I also just accept people as they come.

[Freddy12]

I'm with Sedona on this. While I have met two members in person, I also know that each person is in a different place as far as dressing. We are also in different places as far as how open we can be. This site often help us recognize that there are others who are also struggling with the desires we feel. Sometimes that struggle includes the struggle about displaying to others our feminine self. That can be in public, or on this site.

There are also those who are not cd'ers, but I prefer to ignore those folks.

[sissystephanie]

I didn't find this Forum until after my wife had passed away. If she were still around to do my makeup and fix my wig as she always did, I would have my picture as my avatar. She had the skill to make me look totally different! I don't have that skill, so there is no picture showing my face and never will be!!

Besides, as has been said, who cares??? We are a bunch of different people just like the world is!!

[Megan70]

It was a big leap for me to post my avatar photo and I'm sure many others have their reasons for not doing so. I also just accept people as they come.
But the "leap" was a good one for you Danielle, old Friend, I remember playing around with your avatar in photo shop and showing you different results you could do with your wig. i think the shot you are using now with the white background is one of them,I know you were delighted and I was happy to do it for you. My Avatar is the same but my profile picture changes constantly like the goofy summer one i have up now for a giggle.
We lost touch for a while girlfriend.
I do always wonder what some of these girl look like especially those , like myself who are passable and go out in public why they aren't proud of their looks and show it with an Avatar or profile shot. Why I've walked right past and sat next to people I known from work or church or friends while dressed in public and they never knew for an instant. It then when I knew I did a good job as my "disguise" other lifes' look.

Megan

[Jenniferx1]

Well it`s really is down to what people feel comfortable with......there`s neither right or wrong leaving pics or not.

Spread the :love:

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Denise, avatars can be seen without needing to be a member here.
You can see the daily posts in MtoF [and the avatar associated with the poster] without ever joining the forum, which is probably why some members never post avatar pics.
As for profile or other pics, maybe some members just don't want people to see them or aren't ready for other people to see how they look for various reasons of their own :)

[Jenny Doolittle]

I would post a picture if it were totally up to me, however I have made a promise to my wife to honor her request not to post any pics of myself on the net. She has concern as do many that once something has been posted on the net it is there forever and can be used or manipulated by anyone.

[Leanne2]

It is hard for most of our younger girls to realize that some of us aren't so good with technology. Personally, it would take me half a day to figure out how to post pictures here and I just don't have the time for that. I actually did post some pictures of my new hairdo about a year ago but I can't remember how I did it. I'm still upset that my telephone answering machine was taken out by lightening last month. My new one has different buttons and logic and I still can't work it as I should.
Right now I'm online with a dial up connection. If I get something faster then I'll have to figure out how to use that. And what the heck does 3G and 4G mean? The TV commercials for blueberries and such mean nothing to me. Thanks for letting this old girl rant for a while. Leanne

[indiejosee]

It's funny because this is my first post on the message boards but there are many reasons of why I do not have an avatar of myself on here, nor do I post pictures of me en femme on the internet.

1. I have a media related job, which means, I get recognized every now and then. Because of that: no Facebook, no drinking in town, etc. I'm far from considering myself a superstar but with my job, I don't have a choice.
2. For the moment, crossdressing is something I need to do alone. I have been struggling to accept myself and finally found the courage to tell my girlfriend after several years. Now, my first priority is to be able to dress up at my house and feeling comfortable doing so.
3. If this was a really select circle of friends, let's say 5 people I would of known all my life, I wouldn't mind them seeing me en femme when i'll be ready. (Un)fortunatly, the internet is a public space and I would not want some pictures to backfire on me one day

All this being said, expect to see an avatar one day, i'm not comfortable with the job I have right now, i'm hoping one day i'll be ok enough with my crossdresser self to post a picture and, the main reason of all: i'll either have bought a wig or have grown my hair.. Also, by then, i'm hoping to have a nice make-up collection :D

[Kate Simmons]

As I previously stated, I respect everyone's right not to choose to post their picture. I just felt the question had to be asked. As far as being recognized, the risk goes hand in hand with "gaining" our much vaunted rights as TG folks.:)

[bredalee25]

Well Denise you know or at least you should know that I posted photos of my face on here a long time ago. Thanks to the two inconciderate GG's that were being rude and ignorant had to make all kinds of nasty remarks about those photos and i've never posted any face shots again.

I can't remember who they were but they had me ready to leave this site and never return in fact I did stop coming here for a while.

All it takes is one bad apple to spoil the entire bushel.

[Sheila]

I didn't have a pic of me as my avatar when I first joined the forum, becuase I was protecting my then partner at the time ......... he did not have an avater pic & if people saw mine they could make the connection through me that he was a dresser ............... later on after we split I changed my name to my real one and added an avatar pic of me ............ Debs is comfortable with that :), but even if she wasn't I am not sure I would take it down now ............ I am me & proud to be a member of this community anybody who has a problem with that, then that's there problem not mine :D

[SuzanneBender]

I know several ladies from this forum, two that I have met in person, on this forum that don't simply for security reasons. All it takes is a right click, save for someone else to own your pic and do who knows what with it.

Posting pictures here is a leap of faith.

I like many of us love the way I look en femme and I enjoy sharing my pictures with others. I often trade messages on here with ladies without pictures and I find myself wishing I knew what they look like, but ultimately it really doesn't make a difference to me. :hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

I understand what you are saying. But you have to remember how scary it is to come out of the closet. I didn't have a real picture for awhile. I had a picture of a black duck to signify the ugly duckling that I felt was me at the time. It took some time before I realized that some people might come across my pictures on here, but what does it matter. Like you said why were they here? Everyone has to do this at their own pace and I think the bigger problem is the ones who hide everything from their SO. They are just heading a huge train wreck and when it happens they will be the first ones asking what to do.

P.S. I own my own company and I worry about being found out but I decided sometime back that the more important issue for me was to be ME!

[Bethany38]

I can understand why some would feel reluctance in posting their pic. When I first started here I thought I would never do it. Then as time went on I felt I was being dishonest with the pic I had, it was of an actress named Zooey Deschannel. Though I never claimed that I was her, I still got people asking if that was the real me. So then I put a disclaimer on my signature stating that it was not me. I finally said the heck with it. I realized if anybody did see me here they were here for some reason or another they probably would not want everyone to know about.

It may be that some are afraid to open Pandora's box. Maybe they do not want to start down a path that could become a rocket sled on rails. I know ever since I came out things have progressed with me much faster than I ever thought they would.

[Chloets]

How do I put up a avatar pic? I must be missing something..hahaha

[bianca66]

The scariest experience I had with a picture was on Myspace when a guy I know started flirting with me. We see each other around town at various events. He started perving me...:o

A few days later we were standing beside each other talking in a group and he didn't recognize me (I would have loved to say "so Dave you like girls in pink cords and red pumps?"). Since he thought he was chatting with a GG the idea that he should recognize me was only in my mind...Since then I have received the courage to put up more pictures. My straight friends won't be on this site and if they were to come across me here then maybe I could get a date :hugs:

[tommi]

Denise

I put a picture up once and my wife found the pic on my cellphone and that
lead to major problems with her an my dressing forced me into counciling.
As much as I would love to post some pics I don't even take any anymore.

[minalost]

I like my avatar, so I won't be changing that, but I did finally get a profile pic of myself in the system. I took a while to do this for 2 reasons. First: I wanted to get comfortable with this site and the people here. Second: just getting a photo. I was recovering from a purge and didn't have the wig, makeup, and clothing I wanted for a photo.

I'm explaining all this to show there can be a lot of reasons someone may not want to post their pic here. That being said, I (and this is just me...) felt I wouldn't be taken seriously without some proof I wasn't just a wanna-be or faker. I don't think a pic should be (or is) required to be taken seriously, but my own comfort level demanded that I pony up and join the team (as it were...). In other words: if all the girls here that I respect and admire can do it so can I!

That's why I posted a profile photo.

Just my :2c:.
:hugs:

[Sherlyn]

I dunno Denise as a major picture poster here I look at you and say ..all I ever see is an avatar with pretty much the same pose but different wigs :p..never can I remember seeing anything but that from you ..so I guess to each their own eh !! :)

[Annalise]

I prefer not to show the face or delve into TMI for now for future career reasons. If not for that I'd show off my pretty face :)

[mklinden2010]

This questions gets asked a lot...

Basically, I regard this kind of communication as a phone call. I could care less to see the person I'm talking to - mostly because I care more what's on their mind than what's on their back.

But, if you want to be picky about it, I don't much like the "glam" photos that people primp and pay for. It says a little about them, I suppose, but what it says is not much that I'm interested in.

Frankly, the avatars that are obviously meant to amuse are the best - whether it's a real person, some vamped movie star, or, some cartoon character. Those, in a way, say more than a "real" picture would about the person anyway.

Meanwhile, I mostly don't care one way or the other. Too much like a phone call, not of much use, hardly worth the bother.

[StaceyJane]

It ook me a while to get the courage to post a pic. First i possted one where my face was hidden but after I did my makeover I had some really great pics and I really wanted to shre them.
Plus I feel the en femme pics show the realme.

[Sarah Doepner]

It is a leap of faith and a major trust issue we have to deal with. Considering the self image so many of us start with, it is a major decision to begin sharing more than just our words.

It was about 12 years ago that I wanted to break out of my closet just a little more. I had done the walk around the block in the middle of the night and the a run down the motel hallway to the ice machine and back as well as a couple others. But none of them had really scratched the itch that was bothering me. I had made a couple of contacts on line and had come to trust and respect one of them. After describing the situation and getting an invite to join a group going out that spring in Las Vegas (the early days of Diva Las Vegas) she suggested I send a couple of photos to her so she and a GG friend could help me work on my appearance.

I thought about it long and hard, but after thinking about it I decided the risk was minimal compared with the benefit I would be receiving. I sent the photos and got very good advice that paved the way for me getting out and meeting other crossdressers in person. That decision to send the photos was one of the most difficult of my crossdressing life. In the intervening years I've become quite a bit more comfortable in sharing my image. Even if it doesn't look like it, I try to choose the one that looks the least like my male self, obviously I still have concerns.

[PretzelGirl]

I look at this a little different than most. I picked an avatar that I am prepared to leave up without ever changing it. Why? It is an identifier that is consistent for readers to know it is me. I know, you aren't going to confuse the name Sue with others easily. But I have slowed down at times when I read something from Jane034756 and thinking the writing style seems familiar and then realize, "Oh that Jane!". The avatar had recently changed and I didn't pick up on it right away. So in a lot of cases, my mind remembers that avatar better than the name given some of the variations we use on our names to avoid duplication. So remembering people by avators is one of my funny quirks on how I read the forum.

Now as far as pictures, yes I am awful at taking them. I certainly don't have a hundred yet that everyone says you need to get one keeper out of them. But I am okay with the one in my profile and it lets everyone know who Sue is. I certainly can see anyone's reason for not posting one either. We live in a world where most of us start off hiding deeply. So it all depends on where your comfort level is at the time.

[Toni_Lynn]

Well, even though I have a picture of me as my avatar, I must admit that it is outdated. I think the reason is, and I am working thorough this, that a lot of the time I fell fat and ugly and, well, hell, not cute. And God knows, I want to be cute. Its and image that I hold in my mind's that is shattered whenever I look in a mirror and see me. It defeatest, hating that testosterone flowing through my veins that gave me facial hair, and hair on my head that that doesn't do like the hair of all the girls (GGs) around me. About the only thing it hasn't killed is the small amount of breast development that I have as a result of having been a fat kid and at times a fat adult. Yeah, I know, ads on TV and the way others look is no way to measure one's self. One has to be the best 'you' that 'you' can be.

I have been sorely tempted to do a boy-mode vs girl-mode set -- boy-mode in my kilt and girl-mode in jeans (just cause I'm a trouble maker), but for the reason above can't bring myself to doing it.

Why the eff am I so down on myself, not as CDer, but as the total package?

Sorry all, just been a bit blue lately. Some people get this way in the winter. With me, its summer that does it.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[sandra-leigh]

I push the boundaries enough at work that it is likely some there have recognized that I am cross-dressing even there. Sooner or later someone is going to google for information on me. It only takes a couple of keywords for some of my crossdressers.com postings to come up in the top 5. If people look at those postings then I don't want them getting easy confirmation that it is me by seeing my avatar (which, as others have pointed out, can be seen by guests.)

If someone goes through the trouble of posting 10 times to be able to look at my profile, then that's a different and deliberate matter, as opposed to "easy pickings".

I do happen to be one of the people who is easy to recognize no matter how I dress. I'm not just "being paranoid" in that regard: I mean that quite a few times I have had people who had never seen me dressed before glance over at me fully dressed (including wig) from 20-50 feet away, in a dim and busy room, and recognize me in less than 3 seconds and come over to talk to me.

[Joanie_Shakti]

Most of the avatars I've used lately are morphs of my face with the faces of GGs whom I would love to look like. But I have and probably will continue to post real pictures of myself too.

I was in the closet for almost 40 years and when I came out to a GG friend during a cam chat, and then started appearing on cam dressed while chatting to her, it was like a dam burst open. I joined this site a few months later and it wasn't long before an avatar went up. The original avatar is still my profile picture.

A couple of weeks ago, I joined LVTG, a match place for transgendered people. I posted several of the pictures I've put in posts here into the photo album on that site. (Still have to start my album here.) But I'm disappointed in the place as though I'm interested in only meeting women, it seems like the majority of viewers of my profile are guys looking for sexual encounters. And most of them are even tackier, using pictures of their privates as their avatars.

Though I wouldn't really want my hobby to be known publicly, I feel my appearance is changed enough in these pictures that it would take a little scrutiny to realize it's me. And I don't post my real name or main email address in any of my TG correspondence.

There is a thing in the Army called OPSEC, Operations Security. The guidelines when going online is to never publish personal information online. Anything that can be used against you to try to get sensitive information. Even things like bad debt is a security risk as you may be desperate enough to sell information. But being gay is no longer a security risk for civillains working for the military, so I would think that crossdressing shouldn't be one either.

I think there are many reasons why one doesn't post pictures. When I had facial hair, It just looked wrong to me and I figured it would be easier to identify the person under the wig. Others may refrain from pictures for similar reasons, they feel too homely. And others may not post them due to OPSEC, even though they may not have a government job.

[Kate Simmons]

I notice in a large measure many folks are quite defensive as to why they don't post a pic en femme. All I did was ask a question and roused up a hornet's nest. Quite honestly this is one reason we can't seem to get too far with acceptance as a community. We complain about rights and being accepted but don't take the iniative to take the first step, even among our peers here for the most part and this is why it remains largely an individual endeavor. I,personally, never cared much for pics myself and certainly wasn't going to buy an expensive digital camera just for that. I was accused of not being genuine, however, and saw my opportunity to get a cheap mini digicam, so took it.

I don't always post my en femme pic myself for a avatar, sometimes I use super heroine pics or drawings or paintings, etc. because I get tired of looking at my own puss and, yes, Sherlyn they are mostly the same poses with different wigs and outfits becuse the object wasn't so much to get pics to post as it was to use the pics for a tool for trying out different looks.

The point is, I'm pretty open and don't really have to prove who I am. I'm also friendly and approachable. CDing should make one comfortable with who they are, not cause them to withdraw. It should put them in touch with their feelings and make them a better people person, someone others can have confidence in and depend on. That is really the point of the whole experience in my opinion.:)

[MrKunk]

I share my thoughts, I do not wish to show photos of my face for privacy reasons.
Maybe when I get some dresses or skirts I show a photo from the waist down.

[AllieSF]

I agree with mklinden2010 that this topic has been brought up several times since I have joined here with all the same answers. That includes in threads where someone requires the OP to "prove" that they are pretty enough to be complimented by someone they had met while out. As for confidence or trustworthiness in what a poster writes depending whether or not they have a pic posted, it makes no sense. Lying or a person's character has nothing to do with a pic. I do not have an avatar not profile pic for privacy reasons, though I have had my pics posted in a small few out and about threads. That is just enough for me for now. I can understand if someone is considering meeting up with someone and would like a preview of potentially coming attractions and to see if the person's style is compatible or not with the other person's style.

I actually wonder why long time members ask why other members do not put their pics here. Especially from you Denise with over 12,000 posts, it is hard to believe that you haven't read at least one of those threads on this same topic before with all the same answers that I have read in this post. In my opinion it seems to be not about curiosity but just another "do as I do" threads versus respecting how others want to carry on their lives on this site. I guess it is just one of my many pet peeves where peer pressure to get someone to be, dress or act as someone else thinks is best on this open and accepting site.

I do not see the "defensive" nature nor the hornet's nest in just about all of the replies (except probably mine) to your question here. To me they are just answering your question honestly. I also do not see how posting a pic in one's avatar or profile can be considered a first step. I started going out within a couple of months of first starting to dress a little over 3 years ago. I go out and interact with the general public on a regular basis, like the last two nights, including a Broadway play. I go to mainstream places, theaters, restaurants, bars, shopping and museums. I do not have pics posted and I do not complain about lack of acceptance, though I do know that it exists, but not maybe as much a most may think that it does.

So, Denise, I think I have answered your question and vented a bit, not as a personal attack, but on my belief that none of us truly knows what goes on in other members' lives and we really shouldn't their motives regarding their own privacy or other concerns.

[notthereyet]

I don't put my picture up because if someone I know finds out, I think it would change everything in my life and I'm one of those that thinks change should come slowly and at my pace.
I see some of your pictures and they are sooooo beautiful and I'm very happy when I see them. they somehow give me some encouragement to move forward and outward. But, for the time being. I feel it is not in my best interest to have a pic of me all dressed up.

[Kate Simmons]

I sincerely apologize if anyone was offended by this thread. It was not my intention to suggest anyone's reasons or motives for not posting their en femme pic were not genuine. I have read such threads in the past but things change, situations change and people change and evolve over time. Sometimes we are simply more comfortable taking a safe stance. I do know that since I joined the forum, my world and the world in general have changed for the better. Never think for one moment that the progress we make both collectively and individually doesn't change things for the better.:)

[Fab Karen]

Couldn't agree more. Some won't even admit to living on Earth.

[JulieK1980]

When I first joined here, I didn't because I was still active in the Navy. It wasn't worth jeopardizing my job. I'm out now though, and could really care less who finds out about me. :)

[NicoleScott]

Denise, for someone who has been on this forum for years, posted over 11,000 comments and probably read many times that many posts from others, you ought to have already known the answers to your question. You said you respect the right not to post pictures. But for all the different and valid reasons given, you seem to think that furthering the cause of crossdressing acceptance should outweigh them. Not all of us can be a martyr for the cause.

[DonniDarkness]

Denise i didnt feel offended at all, in fact i took a couple portraits and added them to my profile, i cant muster the courage to post them publicly....i have them set to contacts only, and i cant make myself add one for the avatar....as of yet.

And i am really scared at the end of the day of being forced out by someone recognizing me, and i even admit to myself that its silly.....anyone who is on this site will either be a supporter or a TG themselves ....i know, i know....quit being a fraidy cat....

its hard, but i made a baby step, because of your post, i too find that i like seeing someone in the avatar because it adds a physical identity to their minds thoughts

[Annorah]

Sometimes you simply can't explain something away. Someone sees you in a form that is not socially normal or of the status quo then your life can change. Better or worse.

If I were to ever post a picture I would not be able to my face. If I had the courage I would dress up at a convention or with other people but it would take a lot to get me out of the building lol

[Tiffany8]

I'm 300 lbs and I don't feel pretty enough to post yet. Maybe some day but not yet.

[sometimes_miss]

...some folks, despite being here for years have never shown a picture of themselves en femme in either their avatar or profile. I know some will say they would be recognized or that they have a high profile job or a job in security and cannot take the risk. If someone you know does see you here, how will they explain what they were doing here? The thing is if you cannot share with your "family" here, who can you share with? I sometimes find it hard to take someone seriously if I cannot see who is talking to me, despite words of wisdom. I respect eveyone's right to anonymity but truthfully don't see the need for it in a place like this where the other folks are like family. What do you think?
O.K., Denise, even though I think this has been discussed before, we'll go through it again. Whether or not anyone else is browsing here, has nothing to do with the results of my being outed when I don't want to be. I don't care if they're a crossdresser too; it's not THEIR having to explain it to the outside world that I'm concerned about; can you please try to understand that? And if you don't want to take me seriously, that is, of course, your option. I don't feel that your curiosity (or anyone else's) about what I look like is any reason why I should 'share' my personal identity with the outside world if I don't want to.

[tinalynn]

"But being gay is no longer a security risk for civillains working for the military, so I would think that crossdressing shouldn't be one either."

True, but a lot of that depends on the security clearance one may have, as well. I'm not sure I could keep my job if people found out in a manner that I wasn't part of. That's why I tend to not post pics - it's just not worth the risk to me. Personally, I couldn't care less whether people don't trust me or think I'm not doing 'my part' in martyrdom simply because I haven't posted a pic... Whatever, my concern is my well being, not 'the movement's'...

It is nice to see what we all look like, but that's not why I'm here. People's reasons are not our business, everybody has their thing and I respect that.

[Raine]

I similarly feel that people who put their face to their words are a bit more respectable and certainly much more memorable. It's easy to share one's thoughts under a complete veil of anonymity, good or bad, truths or lies.

Although my life is an open book, I don't expect others' lives to be. Those who go without ever showing their faces here is completely understandable, especially when there may be repercussions. I receive a lot of flak, from simple gossip to hate speech and discrimination, just for being who I am. Many careers and paths through life are no longer an option to me. I further know most people would rather live their lives happily without confrontation, in peace as life should have been for them.

The transgender community may need to come out of the closet and speak up for its rights, but I don't believe everyone should take on that burden and risk. I, and certainly others, will be there to stand and fight where others cannot.

[sonia_dargency]

I posted a couple of pictures once but took them off because I gave the site address to my wife so she could educate herself and did not want take a chance of her seing the said pics.

It took some courage to post them, that was a step, but also technically complicated since I am almost never home alone; the perfect combination (close shave, enough time, camera handy, outfit within reach) happened only once so far.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am one of those older guys that hadn't figured how to do pics on line. That and I donn't have any pics of me dressed enfemme. Can't afford those glam shots.

[olga]

I’m just not ready yet…

[SusanLCD]

I've been in the closet for a long while. Kept it to myself by suppressing and being careful. Now, my circumstances have improved and I no longer need to be as clandestine, although I'm still only out to a few other CDers.

The result of my long trip in the closet is that I don't have many photos of Susan. I've tried taking some and am dissatisfied with most. But, one of the very few that I liked resulted in my present avatar. When I see it, I immediately think "Grandma Susan." And, I like that.

I plan to post a different thread asking others what they have done to acquire their photos. I don't seem to be having much luck using just a self-timer, camera, and tripod. I'm hoping others may have suggestions.

If so, I may be able to post a few photos in the future.

[Annaliese2010]

...some folks, despite being here for years have never shown a picture of themselves en femme in either their avatar or profile. I know some will say they would be recognized or that they have a high profile job or a job in security and cannot take the risk. If someone you know does see you here, how will they explain what they were doing here? The thing is if you cannot share with your "family" here, who can you share with? I sometimes find it hard to take someone seriously if I cannot see who is talking to me, despite words of wisdom. I respect eveyone's right to anonymity but truthfully don't see the need for it in a place like this where the other folks are like family. What do you think?I like it when I can at least see some aspect of the real person but...I mean I understand the privacy thing which is why I kinda don't want to do full face photo - though I doubt if it matters all that much for most people, including me. Most of what we worry about turns out to be unnecessary. I respect those who do post their face properly. There's so many pretty girls here - and so many really pretty girls - and even some unbelievably drop-dead gorgous girls.

Anyways how do you ever know if the pics posted really are that person? And if so, does the pic really reflect what they look like now or is it like from 10 years ago? Ya know? I mean, all mine are current cuz what's the fun in posting old ones? And yet it's only me telling you that (and it IS true) so...how do you really really know? Point is, you don't. Not really. So bottom line is, it doesn't matter. Or rather, it only really matters to the one posting 'cuz only she knows for sure. Well...unless you have friends coming here who see you in the real world too - THEY would know. The best thing would be to be able to cam! Cuz that's real-time. God, that would be so cool.

[JulieK1980]

"But being gay is no longer a security risk for civillains working for the military, so I would think that crossdressing shouldn't be one either."

True, but a lot of that depends on the security clearance one may have, as well. I'm not sure I could keep my job if people found out in a manner that I wasn't part of. That's why I tend to not post pics - it's just not worth the risk to me. Personally, I couldn't care less whether people don't trust me or think I'm not doing 'my part' in martyrdom simply because I haven't posted a pic... Whatever, my concern is my well being, not 'the movement's'...

It is nice to see what we all look like, but that's not why I'm here. People's reasons are not our business, everybody has their thing and I respect that.

Well said! I've been there.

[Karinsamatha]

I felt I need to mentally, as an affirmation to who I am. I did not feel trepidation about putting my picture up.
I do understand why some of us don't. The fear of being outed is huge for some. As for me I doubt anyone I work with would even think to look for this place, and I don't think anyone would recognize me dressed anyway.
:2c:

[Kara Connor]

For me, it was because I just didn't have any pictures. The few I had tried to take looked terrible. Following my trip to Esprit I had a large enough selection that I could find some I was happy with, and reduce one down to avatar size. Also, I am much more confident and self-accepting now, and therefore less concerned about being my picture being here.

I completely understand that some people are very uncomfortable about having their picture online, and that's fine too. Everyone is at a different level of comfort and a different place in their exploration of their femme self. That's fine - it is exactly why we come to this forum, I think.

[Lucy_Bella]

I am tempted to again but to post a pic here.. you give up your rights to it if ever banned , you can not come back and delete pics or post. Also your pic if posted here can become public and taken without your permission. While that may be ok for most it's not ok for me.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I don't have any problems with not seeing a pic of someone. Not everyone is ready to have their face splashed on the web.

I personally didn't have too many problems with posting an avatar pic as i don't think anyone wold recognize me......maybe I'm just fooling myself :doh:

What was a big leap for me was posting a pic in the boy / girl thread, even though only members can see this!

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread. Just a side note. I had an interesting dream last night. I was on a long bus trip and started out in femme mode but kept going back and forth from one mode to the other during the trip. The other passengers had no problem with this and treated me equally well both ways. Hopefully things will be like that someday. In a large measure it depends on all of us though.:)

[CherryZips]

I kind of wonder if someone like Google (or someone more in tune with evil :devil: ) will eventually run facial recognition analysis on all the web pics.

I'm guessing its technically possible. The only barrier is time and cost. Both of which go down in computing.

So at some point all our online photos might be collected together by a search engine.

That means you could tag a face and then see all the other online examples of it.

Although I'm not completely out its not a huge issue for me, but it might become an issue for others.

But I might be wrong.

Perhaps Google could do this right now but have decided not to offer it.

[Edwina]

I don't mind others not posting pictures of themselves, I went through some of the same reasoning too before I finally decided to go for it. I think it was a similar thread in which someone said that if they were approached by an outsider they would simply ask what was that person doing on a site like this.
Others said they doubted they would be recognised when en femme.
I proved the latter for myself when I went to a store and the lady in front did not recognise me although I had been in and out a few times in drab. :)
Just my :2c:
:love:

Edwina

[Mea GG]

I'd like to throw in another angle.

For many people, it has nothing to do with their crossdressing or fem side or anything like that.

And I know that because I am an Admin on a specialized hobby Board with over a thousand members, probably at least 80% men. It has nothing to do with gender or sex, but is a topic that appeals more to men generally. And we have Members who visit on a fairly regular basis who have never posted. New ones introduce themselves from time to time and they either just joined or have been lurking a year.

Many members who post regularly, some even very frequently, have never posted their picture, their age, their location and/or various combinations of the above. There are many reasons for each of us to do what we do. I may tend to too much disclosure (though the bra shot I posted here the other day was a first for me).

But I did want to point out the same is true on other types of websites too--whether for reasons of privacy, technical issues, perceived physical shortcomings, shyness, or whatever, there will always be some among us at any site who choose not to display their picture.

There was one member of my Board I met in person, and we had our photo taken together after I promised not to post it. He wrote a nice post about how he "got to meet" me, which made me feel kinda special, but we did not mention the pic. Now I am a big person but he was bigger, so I guess that may have been the reason. I thought he was a nice and nice looking person. Other Board members have posted pics they took of me that were more unflattering than ones I'd choose to post but hey it is the truth.

I love freedom ...

to each his or her own.

I would only say in encouragement, if you choose not to show your face, it is still nice to see your outfits and stuff.

[Toni_Lynn]

Now I am a big person but he was bigger, so I guess that may have been the reason. I thought he was a nice and nice looking person.

That could be a whole other reason. I know in my case the girl in my mind's eye is a whole lot cuter than the girl I see in the mirror or in a photo. The photo bit of it shatters that illusion, and that hurts.

But, oh God, how I wish I could look like her for just 1 hour

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Midnight Skye]

The reality is... some folks here would loose their CAREER (not just their job) if they were found out. Often times people say well if someone was on here what does that say about them.

Consider a slimeball... a person who likes to see others hurt... they're not going to let the picture be traced back to them... they might just come into the office really early (or leave really late) and post your picture all over the copy rooms wall. Your career is busted... they're out $1.00 for paper, 2 hours for getting up early, and nothing for busting your life up.

I know some of us are in jobs and positions where being outed wouldn't be the end of the world, some of us are completely out. But some are still in positions where real life damage would occur. Loss of friends, family, work.

I have the utmost respect for people here who don't want to share their pictures, because there are plenty of healthy respectable reasons not to.

[GBNatarii]

I've only just now posted my picture in another thread, but I doubt I'll ever put a picture of myself in av' or signature. I can't stand looking at myself as it is, I'd hate to see myself dressed up.

[suchacutie]

So, did we learn anything new from this thread? There is only one answer, and that it...privacy...in one form or another.

Heck, I don't even post a face on the knitting and crochetting forum I belong to. I certainly could, but the avatar is fun to change and my face really isn't important to someone who wants the pattern I've just developed!

If two of us decide to meet we can share photos to know who we are.

tina

[Rogina B]

Unless someone is hugging their "pride and joy" truck or similar object that neighbors might recognize,I doubt that anyone would recognize the boy in the girl mode pic.I too have more respect for posters who are willing to be out there.And,I don't believe all stories about how "their world would crumble" if anyone recognized them[usually unlikely]. And I agree,why were they "lurking" on here ,anyway??:2c:

[sandra-leigh]

Unless someone is hugging their "pride and joy" truck or similar object that neighbors might recognize,I doubt that anyone would recognize the boy in the girl mode pic.

All my girl-mode pictures within the last year have been in my natural hair (below the shoulder), my usual glasses, and often with the same long earrings I was wearing to work that day. I walk around the malls and take busses and go to restaurants and to appointments in mixed gender; the general public sees me as a cross-dresser.

When I have been out, I have had more than a few people who had never seen me dressed before recognize me within seconds... and not one of them has expressed surprise at me dressing. For what-ever reason, I am easy to recognize, and easy to "read". I walk out of clubs in gown and high heels and makeup and all, walk to a cab and get in, and the first thing the driver says is, "Where would you like to go, Sir?". Number of cab drivers who have called me "ma'm": two; one because I was all bundled up in a woman's coat in a blizzard, and the other read me but knew to be sensitive about it.

Rogina, what is it about pictures, that all those people who recognize me so easily in real life would not be able to recognize me in a picture?

[Karen564]

Truth of the matter is, your family, friends, neighbors & co-workers are not gonna go through & search Thousands of pictures on this site trying to find you...and even if they did see a likeness of you while your enfeme, how are they gonna prove it's you?
Nobody here uses their legal name, so wtf you worried about...

And even if you were confronted by someone that said they saw your picture, which the odds of that happening are 10,000,000,000 to one, Then You sure can ask them what in tar-nation were they doing on a cross dressing site in the 1st place,, hmmmmmm?...:doh:

I'd love to hear their answer for that one..:heehee:

So believe what you will, but this site isn't exactly THAT well known among the general public...and most don't even know it exist....unless they already personally know a CDer...Or is a CDer themselves...

Fact is, many here are just plain olé scared for no real reason.. So unless your a famous celebrity that we see on TV every day, you really have nothing to worry about..

But WhatEverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...lol :2c:

[Stacy L]

.




I kind of wonder if someone like Google (or someone more in tune with evil :devil: ) will eventually run facial recognition analysis on all the web pics.

I'm guessing its technically possible. The only barrier is time and cost. Both of which go down in computing.

So at some point all our online photos might be collected together by a search engine.

That means you could tag a face and then see all the other online examples of it.

Although I'm not completely out its not a huge issue for me, but it might become an issue for others.

But I might be wrong.

Perhaps Google could do this right now but have decided not to offer it.

Facial recognition won't work with my avatar picture, I hope! :doh:

:devil:

[Kate Simmons]

Note on facial recognition software. Who, other than NSA, would use it to ID us? They would only do it if they considered us a threat to national or global security. The only other ones who would potentially use it would be businesses, but which ones? Are they that hard up that they would have to "expose" people to get customers? And then what, blackmail them to remain customers? Highly unlikely and costly to boot. My answer to that is prove it.:)

[Sedona]

Danese, (since I was first to go), first off, I'm not offended at all. I hope my initial response didn't come across like it.

Anyways, about facial recognition software, and the privacy of everybody here. Don't doubt for a second that this technology won't become more widely used. Heck, I can use it right now with a nifty program called iPhoto (Macintosh product). I select a face in one of my pictures, give it a name, and the program goes through every other photo I have, and tags them with the name if there's a match. It's an inexpensive program, and it works surprisingly well! Imagine what it'll be able to do once they get the kinks worked out in a few years.

Lets suppose I wanted to vet a particular potential political candidate I don't want elected (there are many other scenarios I'm sure). If I cared about such a thing, it would be a pretty simple operation to round up several of his/her portraits, then set a couple of interns loose on this site for a week and have them download every face they could find, then let iPhoto (or something more powerful) do its job. Yes it's a disturbing thought, but it wouldn't take a reasonably bright person with bad intentions long to figure out an even easier way.

As we all know, it's pretty easy to get a membership here, which gives one access to a variety of forums. I operate under the assumption that right now there are unscrupulous individuals trolling this and similar sites looking for politicians/famous athletes/celebrities to bust; all in the name of a nefarious religious group, hateful conservative banner, or some perverse sense of self-righteousness.

IMO, not at least recognizing that these possibilities exist means you care zero percent that you may be outed (much respect to you! :)), like to live on the edge a bit (again, respect), or are uninformed.

[Rogina B]

Pictures are one thing,and I stand by my opinion.If someone chooses to be out and about in a barely transitioned mode,then of course they should expect recognition,perhaps. Having a complete ficticious name provides an easy path for investigation. Most all on this site only use a first name,so it isn't easily done. There are plenty of other T sites out there,so a professional lurker might be pretty busy finding you by your pic alone.:2c:

[Kate Simmons]

Pictures are one thing,and I stand by my opinion.If someone chooses to be out and about in a barely transitioned mode,then of course they should expect recognition,perhaps. Having a complete ficticious name provides an easy path for investigation. Most all on this site only use a first name,so it isn't easily done. There are plenty of other T sites out there,so a professional lurker might be pretty busy finding you by your pic alone.:2c:I agree Rogina. I think we could keep any lurker hopping if we want to. Not to mention pretty much all of it amounts to second guessing on their part. Like I said, prove it. How do they know our pics are not composites like one gal said? The only real thing that has been proven to ID someone without testing DNA is fingerprints and retinal patterns. Don't tell me the software goes into that kind of detail. The other thing is even if they have all the info, who cares? I used to play UNO with my workmates during lunch. Some of them cheated like b******s always looking at my hand but I still won. When they asked me how, I just said:" Because I'm concerned with what I'm doing not with what you are doing." Sometimes things just work out for the good guys.:)

[Rianna Humble]

...some folks, despite being here for years have never shown a picture of themselves en femme in either their avatar or profile. I know some will say they would be recognized or that they have a high profile job or a job in security and cannot take the risk. If someone you know does see you here, how will they explain what they were doing here?

Don't forget that there are image searches on Google and others, so someone could have followed a link that way.

When I first joined these forums, I knew that certain people would have used my transgender to destroy someone whom I hold in high regard, for that reason I was not able to post a head shot. Once that danger had passed, I was freer to post whatever photo I felt was warranted.

Although I understand what you are saying, I would not want to impose any kind of conditions on other members. IMNSHO if they feel comfortable posting face shots, great, if not that does not invalidate their posts.

[Mea GG]

I am tempted to again but to post a pic here.. you give up your rights to it if ever banned , you can not come back and delete pics or post. Also your pic if posted here can become public and taken without your permission.

Yes, people can copy pics. That is true everywhere.

But as for posting pics on this or any other website, if you post a link from photobucket or somewhere your pics are stored, you can move the pic at any time in the future, thereby breaking the link.

[AlsoSamantha]

I have no problem with the regular members on this forum knowing what I look like, so I have a pic in my profile. Anyone with 10 or more posts, and is curious, is free to go see.

I'm not interested in non-member lookie loos or non contributing lurkers checking me out, so I have a graphic image as my avatar.

Plus, my avatar may not look how I look, but she looks how I feel!

[diannecourtney]

Probably half of our unposted ladies are as computer illiterate as I. I'd love to show my legs in 4" stilletos as the next the next but just blame stupid.:sad::sad::sad:

[charlie]

I have a group of CD friends and know people where I go to dressed. One day I went to several of those places in "drab mode". Nobody knew who I was. Two guys that I had sat with at their table and had drinks with just the night before asked if they knew me from somewhere. An avatar picture will not be recognized here.

[Christina Horton]

Denise I started a few years ago a thread like this one , it went on for a ways and I got alot of good reasons for not and for posting one. I can't remember the name but when I get home on my lap top I will post a link to it. If I remember right you read it and if your the same girl I'm thinking of you because of me posted a pic and have since then. If not you then I know for sure that one girl did so.

If you want to read it it's in my threads I made. Lots of waysto look at it. Lots of insight on this issue.

[PetiteTonya]

I don't post often here and I myself am still very new to all of this. Having said that, I respect everyone's right to make decisions that are most comfy.

It took me 12 months to post photos of myself and create an avatar so I relate to the emotions surrounding the decision making process.

On the other hand, what I still find confusing are certain members who post regularly here, proclaiming that they are "out to the world" living "24/7" as females but yet never share photos and have no avatar photos.

I continue to be rather perplexed at what on the surface appears to me to be a deviation between real life and this forum.

:2c:

[Jenny Green]

I can't figure out *how* to get my picture to show w/ my posts. It's on my profile, just doesn't show up on my posts. Any advice? Thanks!

[Sophie_C]

I have a nice, comfortable place in the closet that I have built up and lived in for a while now. It's a conscious choice, simple as that.

[erickka]

It is hard for most of our younger girls to realize that some of us aren't so good with technology. Personally, it would take me half a day to figure out how to post pictures here and I just don't have the time for that. I actually did post some pictures of my new hairdo about a year ago but I can't remember how I did it. I'm still upset that my telephone answering machine was taken out by lightening last month. My new one has different buttons and logic and I still can't work it as I should.
Right now I'm online with a dial up connection. If I get something faster then I'll have to figure out how to use that. And what the heck does 3G and 4G mean? The TV commercials for blueberries and such mean nothing to me. Thanks for letting this old girl rant for a while. Leanne

Me Too! I'm still in the cave man days...No digital camera, no computer smarts, etc. Heck, I'm lucky I know how to sign onto the forum!!! LOL

[victoriamwilliams1]

It took me a while to put my photo up on line and 11 years later I have 1000's of photos on line and if someone recognizes me on this group I will wonder why they are here in the first place.

The only places I am careful at is Facebook and myspace. In fact I have one contact on my female facebook account who is connected to a person in my male account! They are connected because they worked on the same show and she is a tgirl and the other person is a straight male and she is the only tranny in his profile however my girl mode photo is in toon format and I try to be very careful on what I post on social networks.

On here you are safer to post your photos and for some people it takes longer and thats fine by me because we all where in that same spot once before.

[Anneliese]

Someday I will post a picture, but I'm not ready at this point.

Truthfully, there are many posted which are "low-risk", such as those taken from a distance. A close-up of your face is pretty much saying, I don't care...I'm out and I'm proud, while one taken at some distance away, while showing your body from head to toe, is far enough away it's pretty doubtful anyone would recognize you IMO. I can't imagine that a picture from the neck down could give away anybody unless you have a birthmark or unique tattoo. That type of shot I would have no problem posting of myself.

On a funny note, I regularly go shopping for girly clothes. Probably will today after my yoga class. I realize I'm much more likely to be caught doing that by someone who knows me than I would ever be likely to be found out about at this site. Although it would be embarrassing and uncomfortable, I always have a teeny-tiny itty-bitty (props to Emily Litella) out in that I have a daughter who I've actually shopped for in the past, and I could say she's asked me to stay on the look-out for hippie clothes. Of course, if I have some hot pink **** clothes in my basket, this wouldn't work so well.