My Journey

[AKAMichelle]

I have crossdressed since age 5 and spend almost all of the time confused about my crossdressing. 4 years ago I went through some horrible stress as by business and marriage began to collapse. 2 1/2 years ago I told my wife that I was a crossdresser, but it didn't turn out like I hoped. 2 years ago I joined the local Tri-Ess group in Denver and finally unshackled myself from the closet and ventured out in public. Many of us talk about the thing which keeps us in the closet is that we don't pass very well. Most of us don't without lots and lots of practice. Most of the ones who do have to work on their looks to become passable. If you look at any my pictures, you will know that the best I can do is look like an ugly woman. I am read whenever I go out, but that doesn't matter.

I started going out 2 years ago scared to death. I felt like I couldn't do it but I did. Not only did I come out of the closet 2 years ago, but now I am preparing to go on a long road trip while dressed. Yesterday I started a meetup group in Denver because it is so hard to coordinate activities sometimes here. So now crossdressers will be able to go the meetup group and find what others crossdressers are doing all along the front range. That way we can help some of our sisters come out of the closet and be themselves for a change.

When I started this journey 2 years ago, I never thought that I would be willing to be the face of anything associated with crossdressing. I was so scared and afraid that I didn't really see myself getting out of the closet, but I did.

What a ride! :daydreaming:

[kaitlin]

You Go Girl!!! I wish I was able to do the same!

[Andrea's Lynne]

Good for you, Michelle! Glad to know you're feeling peace with it

[TxKimberly]

What a long strange trip it's been huh? lol

[Jilmac]

Michelle, I know exactly what you've gone through in your lifetime in the closet, the doubts, the angst, and then the extreme joy of release in coming out. I went through two marriages with disapproving spouses, hid my life of dressing from everybody, and feared being caught. Since coming out I am a changed person. I hope you continue on your journey and fulfill your feminine dreams.

[PretzelGirl]

You have seen the good and the bad Michelle. I just wanted to say that I value your input. You do have good insight and you see both sides of the coin well even if the particular topic turned out negative for you in the past. :hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

You Go Girl!!! I wish I was able to do the same!

Everybody is capable of doing it, but not everyone is willing to do it.


What a long strange trip it's been huh? lol

More than you know. I remember another cd'ers comment that it was ok to meet me because I had met TXKimberly. I guess you have become the standard bearer of what is ok in the cd'ing community. :D Maybe one day I can join you as a standard bearer. :daydreaming:


Michelle, I know exactly what you've gone through in your lifetime in the closet, the doubts, the angst, and then the extreme joy of release in coming out. I went through two marriages with disapproving spouses, hid my life of dressing from everybody, and feared being caught. Since coming out I am a changed person. I hope you continue on your journey and fulfill your feminine dreams.

It is so much more than just your feminine side once you come to grips with yourself. It affects everything. It changes your life and you will never be the same. I am so much happier now that the weight is off my shoulders.

I hope you keep going on your journey as well.

[carolinoakland]

Five years ago I started venturing out of the closet. Two years ago I walked into a gender therapist's office. Today I am the president of Transgender San Francisco. And I think of the one's who did this first, and how frightened they must have been and the fights they had to fight and did and won. And when it came time for me; as scared as I was... it was just that much easier to succeed because of those that went before. And the only way I can accept that gift is to turn behind me and reach out a hand to those coming, and make their first steps just that much easier for them...

[Cheryl James]

Your post resonated so clearly with me. We both started very young, we both fought our innate needs, we have had career setbacks, your marriage dissolved and mine is, I think, dissolving. The growth of Michelle has been a blessing for you.

I am in the middle of a 2-week opportunity. I find myself racing to do all things Cheryl that I can (within my current inexperienced comfort range). Reading your post gives me hope that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel for me, and others like us. And, as I am doing everything solo, I can very much appreciate what you are trying to do for the members of our community. Good luck.

[Sarah Doepner]

It appears that many of us are walking parallel paths. We are attempting to provide a little more of the same kind of support for TG folks here on the other side of the Rockies in Utah. So many of us are stepping out of our closet and end up recognizing a couple of things; It's a great relief to accept and nourish this because it can be a gift (a confusing and complicated one, but a gift), and It would have been much easier if there had been a helping hand out there when we were getting ready to step into the light.

All the positive, sharing and supportive people on this site have made life just a little easier for some frightened, confused and worried crossdressers and their loved ones. The goal isn't to out and about every week, flying en femme or clubbing, but to be at peace with what we have and who we are. Once you have that peace and understanding, what you do is your choice now, not something determined by fear or others expecations. Yours is a good example Michelle, your journey is also ours and I thank you for sharing.

[AKAMichelle]

Five years ago I started venturing out of the closet. Two years ago I walked into a gender therapist's office. Today I am the president of Transgender San Francisco. And I think of the one's who did this first, and how frightened they must have been and the fights they had to fight and did and won. And when it came time for me; as scared as I was... it was just that much easier to succeed because of those that went before. And the only way I can accept that gift is to turn behind me and reach out a hand to those coming, and make their first steps just that much easier for them...

It funny I was one of those that didn't want to be out front on anything concerning cd'ing. I am in my business, but not cd'ing. Especially since it could hurt my business. The other night I was watching "Sweet November" again and I had forgotten about the guy upstairs who always was popping in on Charlize. There was a part of the movie which hit a nerve with me. The neighbor was dressed as a woman and all a sudden he made a comment about the advertisiing world. Keanu and him were in the same business but had never met but once the name was connected with the ad world, he knew he was dealing with one of the leaders in the business. Someone higher up in the ad business. That was when I realized that I may have to connect the dots for people one day either by choice or being outed, but it won't be the end of the world. It may be the day that I start liking my job again. :D


It appears that many of us are walking parallel paths. We are attempting to provide a little more of the same kind of support for TG folks here on the other side of the Rockies in Utah. So many of us are stepping out of our closet and end up recognizing a couple of things; It's a great relief to accept and nourish this because it can be a gift (a confusing and complicated one, but a gift), and It would have been much easier if there had been a helping hand out there when we were getting ready to step into the light.

All the positive, sharing and supportive people on this site have made life just a little easier for some frightened, confused and worried crossdressers and their loved ones. The goal isn't to out and about every week, flying en femme or clubbing, but to be at peace with what we have and who we are. Once you have that peace and understanding, what you do is your choice now, not something determined by fear or others expecations. Yours is a good example Michelle, your journey is also ours and I thank you for sharing.

It is amazing how we continue to fill up the ranks with more and more people willing to admit that they are cd'ers. It is like AA but better in a way. At least after you admit being a cd'er you still get to wear the clothes. :D