Do you LOVE your MALE self?

[Kerigirl2009]

Ok so this is my question, When you see your reflection in the mirror, as a man, how do you feel about yourself? Do you yourself LOVE YOU or are you angry that you enjoy something that "normal" men don't. (this is not about looks, it is about your feelings

I do not know how to answer this question. I know that I think I am a good looking man and have been caled handsome many many times but sometimes I just want to be called beautiful.

I guess I love myself but I hate the fact that I have upset my wifes world. and this makes me sad that I think of myself sometimes as a woman. But when I do think this I feel better most of the time.

I know I said this was not about looks but I was saying that I am happy with my looks as a man. But being the kind of man I am upsets me and I do not know what to do about this to make me love myself. I LOVE being Keri, but I don't like what Keri puts me through to be happy as a man?

[AllieSF]

It has taken a lot of years to get where I am today, but now I can say that I am very happy with myself. Perfect? Far from it. I am happy as a man and when dressed as a woman. My personality really does not change much from one mode to the other. I am a CD for now and have no desires to progress further than that.

[DawnRodgers]

Well, when everything is perfect and I look perfevtly feminine I am delighted and happy as all get out but when somethings just not right I have to find it and correct it. I have to look good or why bother.

[Danielle Gee]

When I look at my male self in the mirror I see a "normal" male. I see a man who's not bad looking (for my age). I see a man who has a fair amount of accomplishment under his belt. But most of all I see a man who has attempted to be the best human being he could.... (and mostly succeeded).

I'm not ashamed or conflicted about my Crossdressing. To my way of thinking, it just annother side of my personallity.

So to answer your question.... Yes, I love my male self

Danielle:love:

[BRANDYJ]

Yes, I love my male self. But I wonder...If I did not have this feminine side, would I be the type of man that I am? Because of my feminine side, I feel I am more compassionate, caring, more loving, accepting and even sentimental then I would have otherwise been. I am happy I am perhaps what some call duel gendered. I'd never give up either side of me.

[Tracy_Victoria]

Love is a very strong word!

As a male, I'm very much over wieght (as I am dressed as a woman) and I have to be honest there are things I would change if I could (and might if I had the money) ie my teeth are not perfect due to an accient when I was 6, but there better than sum all the same.

Generally I love being a male, there are things I dislike, such as my body hair, but that is not due to my dressing I just don't like it, never have, never will. but over all, no I don't love myself, but I'm happy to be who I am, I have a good life as a man, and would have no wish to chance me, bar losing wieght, again for the good of my health, not to improve my dressing.

Forturnately woman come in all shapes and sizes, I just dress like one of my size when I do. ie happy to be a man!

[Kate Simmons]

What we see in the mirror is only a reflection of the physical. The true depth of the person within, whether man, woman or a combination of both, can only be reflected in our interpersonal relationships with others. The idea is to do the best we can, in spite of gender role.:)

[Jenniferx1]

Well I like my male side........no problems with that.......I adore my female side
But whats in an opinion......some people will agree with your look , others will not.....Personally I feel good male or female.........Lifes just to damn short to worry much of what people think....


Spread the :love:

[Cary]

I love all of me, including my male self. There are some minor things I would change, but those will come with time. I want to get my teeth fixed and site correction surgery. I also have to watch my diet and get some exercise, so I came look good in my clothes(male or female). I feel my crossdressing completes me and hope to get better at it.

[Bethany38]

I love my Male self very much. He allows me to do things I could not do otherwise. However, I love my Femme self also. She allows me to be the softer person I have always longed to be. I would not say I am well adjusted, or good at balancing my two half's yet. I am slowly learning how to use the best of both to maintain my life a little better though.:hugs:

[Raychel]

Do I love my male self? Are you kidding me, that guy is messed up:heehee: He has a hard socializing with people. Always on edge. In just plain english the guy is not right. So no I don't care for my male self at all.

Now my other side. No one relaly knows for sure how Raychel will be. She has never stepped out yet. I guess time will tell.

[Barbara Dugan]

I really don't love my male self but also I don't hate it either:hugs:

[Cassandra Lynn]

More than ever, but not at all while i was a practicing alcoholic. It's hard sometimes for me cause i'm still struggling with life's demands and i tend to get down on myself, but all in all, yes, he's a fine man.
I also think he''l be a very nice compliment to Cassie when she can come out more often. mj (Cassie)

[AKAMichelle]

I have to agree about how difficult it is to accept and love yourself with all of these mixed feelings. I do accept my self now but I question how I will feel once I begin to date again and see what my SO feels at the time. We put them through a living hell of sorts that some can deal with and it helps us as well when they nourish and support us. But when the SO can't accept it, it begins to tear at our soul. We love them and the other side and unfortunately it becomes a battle to see who wins. How can an SO fight and win against another woman that they can't see and smack?

Great question. If you figure it out, then my all means share. I know this will be a problem and I have no solution.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm so used to seeing an ugly guy in the mirror for the last 54 years that I'm having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that several girls have told me I am quite pretty when dressed.

Like others, my old self is a bit of a social misfit - partly because I could not accept myself so how could I expect others to want to know him, but I have found that I can talk to girls a lot more easily when I am dressed - probably because we have more in common.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Yes, I do love my male self. Although I do wonder at times how much easier life would be if I were 100% genuine authentic male with no underlying gender issues, as well as how many guy toys, boats, fishing rods etc I would have if there were no competition with this side of me for funds.

[Lexine]

I love both parts of me equally. It also helps that I have friends and a SO who loves both sides of me equally as well. Alex and Lexi are two parts of my personality that I wouldn't trade for anything.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I do not like my "male" self. He is not a happy person. Why? That is a good question that is being worked on. I do like the feeling I get from dressing. I don't know if I like my "female" self any better. Actully, I think I do. I am happier when I am dressed. But, I am not living it 24/7 as yet. That could make a difference in my feelings about myself. Someday I hope.

[thechic]

Hi everybody
I do not like my male self. I think it Volga,just hate it so much, but im born a man,married and have kids so have to put up with it,but trying to work things out, that's y im seeing a therapist.:drink::drink::drink:

[Stacy Lyn]

I have to say that I do love my male self. I greatly enjoy my male life for lack of a better phrase. When I get to dress up in a suit or go out to a club as my male self I do like the way I look. I like being the male in my relationship with my wife and know that she does as well. I do however really enjoy my time as Stacy and look forward to spending time as her.

[Lucy_Bella]

I really don't know how to answer this other than saying I am myself.. I really don't see the difference between My male self and my dressing. Other than ridding body hair to fit the role I choose in dressing, I am indifferent ..

I think you should be comfortable with yourself as a whole, to be complete and to dis like a gender role that you share is not complete. I know there are those who wish to be female 24/7 and they will adjust to that role. I for one do not want to be anymore female than male in fact I really favor my male side over the female role. I am sure that could change but for now I am content.

[phyllis Lavender]

I do not like my male self. When I look into the mirror and see myself as a beautiful lady I cannot help feeling this is the real me.

[Alice B]

Always have and always will. The same can be said for my female self. A delicate balance that I am very comfortable with.

[insearchofme]

I love both sides of me.

[sissystephanie]

I do like ME! Both my male self and my crossdressed female self. I am one person, not two. Yes, I do have two different personalities, but there is still only one person, and that person is ME!!! I am not sure that "love" is the correct designation, maybe "like" is better!! I did LOVE my late wife and I do love my girlfriend, but although I really do like my body I am not sure that I "love" it!! Does that make sense?

[Rianna Humble]

I think you should be comfortable with yourself as a whole, to be complete and to dis like a gender role that you share is not complete.

That's not a bad description of dysphoria

[Kerigirl2009]

Ok so here is where this question came from. I was chatting with a GG and she asked me "how do you expect your SO to LOVE you if you do not love yourself as a man?" I thought it was a pretty good question.

I feel I do love most parts of my male self "the one that the world knows, but when it comes to hiding parts of me that make me Keri, it bothers me. simply because I cannot be totally honest with my feelings and how it affects who I am and who I want to be. Even I can't figure out who I want to be all the time.

[Rianna Humble]

Could explain why I was unable to find love whilst I was in denial

[trixie]

I do love myself. As Eddie Izzard put it once, I feel like "a complete boy plus half a girl".

[charlie]

Hello Keri!
I know exactly what you are saying. My wife loves me, but not the crossdressing part at all. She refers to Charlie as if she is some hussy that is someone I'm with besides her. At the same time I can't wait to dress and get out and be Charlie. It is a strange would we live Keri.

[bianca66]

For me they are two seperate entities...So I guess I deal with each individually.

[Michaela42]

To be perfectly honest there are times that I absolutely hate the male me, and Makaila as well. Male me can be incredibly cruel, arrogant, and a bit of a d#@$. Makaila is sometimes too sensitive and naive about the world.

But on the other hand, male me is always willing to throw himself on the proverbial grenades, and Makaila can be a bit of a b@#ch when she needs to be.

I feel everyone has some aspect of their personality they would like to work on, I just so happen to have . . . a few personalities to work on :battingeyelashes:

[Lynn Marie]

We like each other just fine. He's got a bigger wardrobe than me, but mine is way sexier, and I'm catching up. CDing is more like a hobby to me rather than an obsession or driving force. That keeps it easy to handle and in balance.

[FemmeElastique]

I love my male self. I also love my female self. When I look in the mirror, I see a good looking guy and when I'm dressed up a hot, fierce chick! My personality stays the same but I think I'm a lot more feminine when I'm dressed up. I am a feminine acting gay man, but I'm more free with my mannerisms when I'm a woman.
Another big difference is the perks that come from me being my female self. People talk to me more, and show me much more attn, guys hit on me when I'm a female. My social life improves and I often leave with phone numbers from men and women.

[Jamiegirl1]

I really don't like my male side,I am irritable,short tempered,and not happy.I feel totally different when dressed. Happier,more tolerant,more at peace.I am married with kids,so for now have to live with being both.

[Debutante]

This is a difficult question for me... I have not loved my male self. He has been in conflict with Deborah.... Deborah wants to be first.... yet as a crossdresser (somewhat transgendered) I know that I must switch back and forth. I have work to do to be more loving, empowering... and to fully have BOTH sides, male and female....

[SusanLeigh3454]

This is a difficult question for everyone here. I look at the girls who have transitioned with celebrity status and wonder if I have the strength to endure what they have been through. If I loved my male self, would I have such envy for those who have grown in this process.

[Annie M]

It depends on what I'm doing in normal drab I dont like my male self. I have become tolerant of him. Very confused at times the more time I spend as Ann.

[docrobbysherry]

But, why is THAT so important!?:brolleyes:

Sherry puts up with me no matter HOW much of an a----hole I am!:D

[t-girlxsophie]

Though he's not about much I have to say am happy with the Male part of me,he is a good Father,an Attentive Husband and loving Son.Sure he can be a pain in the a** sometimes but hey! he's not perfect LOL

I just have this most incredible other side to me,thats a Damn fine loving,woman who shares that life and all it's Joys.:hugs:

[Kerigirl2009]

Well some very good and honest answers have been answered. The point that was being given to me when I thought about this was in order to be truly loved one most first love themselves.
But the more I think about this is what I lack in love for my male side I have that love in my female side.
Now I just have to figure out how to express the love I have for my female self when I am in my male mode. The trick I think to accomplishing this is I have to be true to myself without upsetting the ones that I truly love. HMMMMMMM?

[pamela_a]

I'm very happy to say that when I look in the mirror I now only see the woman I am looking back. Thank goodness "he" is gone forever. "He" gave me 2 beautiful children, a good job, and a very few good memories but precious little else.

[NathalieX66]

A long time ago I was completely convinced that I wanted mto make the transition and live as a female. I thought I had all the traits of being a ts except I love being a guy and doing guy things.

Well, that ends that.

Once I realized that I would give up everything I enjoy about being a guy, I realized that hormones or surgeries were not for me. Nor was I prepared to deal with the challenge of telling family & friends, I love them too much.

Novel thought that was. Soul-searching did me good. All I can say is the cliché line of I'm just me. I can't speak for anyone else. Just please let it be known that if you are someone that doesn't love ore like your male self and want to make a transition, I support you 100%.

[~Michelle~]

Ok so here is where this question came from. I was chatting with a GG and she asked me "how do you expect your SO to LOVE you if you do not love yourself as a man?".

"loving" is a word with a lot of weight. ;)

[Angiemead12]

I love myself no matter what I present as!

[Gina's dress-up]

I do not like my male side i wish i was born the women i meant to be, stuck in a mans body

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

I go through emotional cycles and associated self esteem is sinusoidal. Not a deep manic-depressive, but certainly shallow. On the up swings I'd say I like myself. But most of the time no and the deeper depressions can be tough. I do the self talk and self evaluations to try and pull myself back up.

[suchacutie]

In hindsight, my approach to almost everything was complicated by the mixture of genders within. Five years ago we started to understand the genders inside by separating them into the masculine me...and Tina. I have to say that once the two were understood, I immediately loved the male me! After five years of trying to understand who Tina is, I think I've come around to loving her, now that I understand her. When I thought I was only male she used to complicate my life, but now we've straightened that out!

The only problem with my male self is that his life is still so complex that there really isn't the kind of time the Tina really needs. My wife even noticed enough to ask if Tina was jealous of all the "him" time. So, my male self would be just terrific if he'd lose a bit more weight and then give Tina some more time :):)

tina

[Gerrijerry]

I do not like my male self. When I look in the mirror and see my male self I hurt inside. when I see my self in female mode I am content. leaving out looking good of course on either side.

[5150 Girl]

I hate my male side!

[Deborah Jane]

I don't know about love my "male" side, but I do like him. He's pretty cool most of the time, but he can be a total arse at times. Mind you, so can my "female" side. I guess as we're both one and the same person, we will tend to be very much alike personality wise :)

[suit]

good thread! thoughtful, and it begs questions:
who made your value scale ? is it fair ? why ? why except it ?
is it hard wired or impressed by desires,empathy or jealousy?
have you done what you can to improve your male self to be an impressive a person
not counting the parts in your pants? and then as whole male?
have you studied the whole spectrum of real society's males to judge
against or just the manure balls(MB) the media presents? then women ?
(must be 100 to 1 news worthy MB's male to female in the media...
does that effect your self image as a male?why?)
are you judging from a hard wired point of views or a competitive one?

[Rianna Humble]

good thread! thoughtful, and it begs questions:
who made your value scale ? is it fair ? why ? why except it?

IMNSHO somewhat off-topic, but I will try to answer:

My value scale is a product of my nature, my observations and my personal sense of justice.

It is as fair as I can make it in that I subscribe to the twin theories "Above all to thine own self be true" and "Do as you would be done by".

I accept it because it is the best value system I have encountered.


is it hard wired or impressed by desires, empathy or jealousy?

It is a combination of those character traits that are inherent in me (hard-wired to use your term), that which I have learnt and my upbringing. Since empathy is one of my inherent characteristics, this informs my value system. I have no time for jealousy which is a negative emotion.


have you done what you can to improve your male self to be an impressive a person
not counting the parts in your pants? and then as whole male?

In trying to live my old life according to my value system, I believe I have done what I could to make him the best person he could be. Neither he nor I are interested in being impressive, rather in being effective. I have objective evidence that he succeeded in being effective.


have you studied the whole spectrum of real society's males to judge
against or just the manure balls(MB) the media presents? then women ?

Not sure that I understand the portent of this group of questions. Nobody can study the whole spectrum of "real society's males" whatever that means since every person on this planet is an individual and there is not enough time to study several billion individuals.


(must be 100 to 1 news worthy MB's male to female in the media...
does that effect your self image as a male?why?)

So-called newsworthiness is not a guarantee of value. My self-image is not determined by such transient things as what Rupert Murdoch has decided to tell us will sell his news(sic) papers.


are you judging from a hard wired point of views or a competitive one?

I judge myself according to my value system. In that value system, competitiveness is only useful if it is part of a scheme for self-improvement, so I will compete to become as good as someone else, but I will not compete to do that person down.

These are probably not the kind of answers you were hoping for, but they are mine.

[Bootsiegalore]

I actually prefer Rachel to Rich. Rich goes to work and pays the bills. But Rachel is more fun and who I beleive I really am.

R

[corynn]

I do not like my male side i wish i was born the women i meant to be, stuck in a mans body


I feel the exact same way however I feel like a gay woman stuck in a man's body

(please let me out )-Corynn
I want to be free As My Self

[Kerigirl2009]

Let me clarify myself, I was asking if you truly love yourself. In other words does your male side lose out because youare hiding part of your male side so you do not give your female side away and if you are Do you think that it effects how you treat yourself or how you as a person are affected.

For me I think I do keep parts of my person (male side) a mystery which affects me as a whole person, which makes me feel like I am mot only cheating myself but my family too. Therefore Yes there are parts of my male side that I do not like. I think this does affect how I feel about myself. I would love to just be me no matter who I am, but I have not figured out how to just relax and be me.

[nikkijo]

NOT A CHANCE IN H E L L !!!! do i love my guy side...... eeewwwww!!!

[Elsa von Spielburg]

I'm not entirely sure of the original question posed but: yes, as a wise man once said, "I like me". I am happy with who I am, and enjoy myself, whatever my outward appearance may be at the time. And, most importantly, I'm pretty comfortable with who I am/what I like.

[corynn]

Let me clarify myself, I was asking if you truly love yourself. In other words does your male side lose out because youare hiding part of your male side so you do not give your female side away and if you are Do you think that it effects how you treat yourself or how you as a person are affected.

I feel that I am loosing out on my female side more than my male side but in the same respect I guess it would be hard to do all the things I do as a male versus doing those activities as a woman would make it Hard

Like Tournament fishing,Hunting,playing pool
and I am not saying that True GG'S dont do those activities but doing those activities with people that I already know and love as Friends and Family it would make it hard to transistion into Corynn because they dont look at me that way they see Corey my male personality

but I feel like I am missing out on womanhood because I have always felt like I was Born in the wrong body. sometimes life isn't fair or just but I guess I will have to live as both personalities

it's just so hard sometimes because Corynn wnats Out of her shell

take care all :doll: -corynn-