Interesting article I'd like your thoughts on

[DemonicDaughter]

I'm often struck by the manner in which people choose to explain their situations in life. All too often someone makes a statement that speaks volumes about who they are and how they truly feel about themselves.

Recently I came across this article and wanted to share it with you all:

It's Time to Lose 'I didn't choose' (to be transgender) (http://tranifesto.com/2010/06/01/its-time-to-lose-i-didnt-choose-to-be-transgender/)

What do you think? Do you think that by making statements like "I didn't choose to be this way" implies you hate the fact that you are or do you feel its a knee-jerk response or what?

[Daenna Paz]

What do you think? Do you think that by making statements like "I didn't choose to be this way" implies you hate the fact that you are or do you feel its a knee-jerk response or what?

Really good questions ...

For me, I think the fact that "I didn't choose to be this" is not a cop-out, but merely an expression of frustration ... a commentary on my perceived lack of control over my destiny.
I have uttered these words ... but more as a defense of my choices as opposed to a victim's mentality.
Sometimes I don't like my options ... but this is the hand I am dealt ... I will play it with all my heart. :daydreaming:

[SamanthaStMichaels]

I agree with most of what they wrote. I've made those statements myself. Many of us went through the self hatred phase. I might even still have a little of that in me.

I don't think it's my feelings about being who I am that's the problem. I believe it's all my experiences as a trans that is the problem and what I go through on a daily basis just to make it morning to night. It's how other people treat me.

I would have preferred to have been born GG, but at this point in my life I wouldn't mind if my brain matched my body. But that's never going to happen. I just wish I could stop spinning my wheels and getting no where. Every process in my life has to be a forced step. Because in the back of my mind I worry about what others might think or do.

I however refuse to be a victim. I eventually will get everything right for myself.

[GypsyKaren]

We all go through a phase where we try to come up with an explanation or try to make sense of our life and feelings, so to me a phrase like that is harmless...I'm actually tired of people who make an argument over stuff like that, I'm glad they're happy with what works for them but they should shove the preaching and shut the hell up.

GK

[Katesback]

I have sat and listened to trans people postulate about the idea they might be intersexed. They often will spend a lot of mental time reasoning that if they are intersexed on a chromosonal level they might find peace in thier actions.

My own take is..........ok so your intersexed or not. How about the weather or lets talk about hobbies. LOL

The reason someone is trans is not something I will give a whole lot of thought about.

Katie

[EnglishRose]

I wondered about any intersex conditions; actually I remember going for a huge raft of tests when I was very young so I asked my parents. It was just testing for marfan syndrome (usually sufferers are very tall and die around 20) / giantism, so I didn't spend hardly any time on that possibility.

I hate the idea of having to sell the fact I'm trans but my wife isn't buying right now. However, the "didn't choose" thing is something that may help her find acceptance of me in the future, as she's quoted it herself.

[Nicole Erin]

People don't choose to be whatever, but they may choose to act on it.

I don't like all the crap that comes with being trans, but I do what I can with what I have.

[carolinoakland]

I disagree that I didn't have a choice. I am what I am, ala popeye, but what I choose to do about my life IS my choice. I think that the argument " I didn't have a choice..." also makes it easy to cop out and blame society and biology for one's life. There is only one guarantee in life.

" After the first breath, there will be a last breath. What you choose , and it's consequence's, is up to you. "

[Karen564]

It's Time to Lose 'I didn't choose' (to be transgender) (http://tranifesto.com/2010/06/01/its-time-to-lose-i-didnt-choose-to-be-transgender/)

What do you think? Do you think that by making statements like "I didn't choose to be this way" implies you hate the fact that you are or do you feel its a knee-jerk response or what?

The only thing that I don't like about the article is that he's telling me what he thinks I should say..

Lose the, I didn't choose to be trans?

Well, if I did lose that line, I'd be lying to myself & others...because if I had my way, I would of preferred to of been born NOT a transsexual......
I can't say I would of preferred to of been born a woman, because I already was, but without the correct genitalia..and cant really say I wish I was born a man, because I don't really know how a man feels like inside his head..
But since I was born with male genitalia, it would of been nice & easier on my life to have been born with a male brain to at least feel whole..vs have to go though all this agony to make my body match my brain to feel whole..

So for me, it's a true statement, I didn't choose to be trans..and wish I wasn't...But that doesn't mean I haven't accepted what I am..

Anyone can think what ever they want to, but Nobody is going to tell me what to say, do or how I'm supposed to feel about it...period !

[DemonicDaughter]

Okay people, this article isn't about whether or not you had a choice in being trans. READ the article. Its about how making the statement, "I had no choice, I was born this way" makes it sound as if being TG is the worst thing on the planet.

The author is stating that if you remove that excuse from your argument and all other implications that being TG is horrible, that you might allow other people to understand you don't think you're sub-human and therefore might just command a bit of respect.

I knew I should have just posted the main principle of the article... :doh:

EDIT: Karen and I were posting at the same time. So the above is not directed towards you or anyone else that actually replied as specified.

[MAJESTYK]

I think using that phrase "I didnt choose to be trans" is sounding like you dont want to be trans. As you would choose to be something else if you could. It does make it sound as if it would be preferable NOT to be.
Really liked the article though. I very seldom use the phrase....come to think of it I never have. I am happy and proud of being me and dont want to be anything else.

[Hope]

I agree whole heartedly that we tell others how to treat us by the way we are in the world, and that if we behave as if we have some horrible disease or like we are freaks, that people will treat us the way we present to the world. That much I agree with.

However...

Leveling the barrel at the idea that the problem with societies (lack of) acceptance of us (or our acceptance of ourselves) comes from the idea that we didn't choose to be trans is asinine. Here is the truth of the matter... No one here chose to be trans. "I didn't choose to be trans" isn't a problematic statement - it is a statement of fact. It is also not the part that society has a problem with. People get freaked out in part exactly because they think we DID choose to be trans - and THAT is what makes us freaks in their eyes. If we can't explain to folks that this isn't a choice, we are going to be taking a huge step backwards.

This is one of those countless situations in which the author is right in principle, but has the details all wrong. Stand up and be proud... expect people to treat you well... Don't walk around as if you were some sort of living apology... and be an ambassador for the rest of us, feel free to explain to those who ask you questions that this life is not a choice.

I also, completely, and whole heartedly agree with Karen. This guy should leave the preaching to the professionals... Now if you will all turn in your bibles to...

[kellycan27]

I had no choice, I was born this way.....seems like a pretty innocuous statement to me. More like a statement of fact rather than a complaint. What is the problem with someone saying I was born different than someone else.. without someone reading into it that's it's something "terrible"?
The author of the article seems to be more about advocacy than some one's true feelings. That might be the authors opinion, but as we all know opinions are like........... I sure you know the rest.
I did read the article and how am I supposed to form an opinion if I don't take into account my feelings and experiences as to if I was indeed "just born this way"? How can you ask me not to consider whether or not I was born this way and just answer the author's and your question?
I see this as sort of like one of those "what if" questions that is geared towards the author's point of view.... It's not about you.. it's about my point?

[DemonicDaughter]

I had no choice, I was born this way.....seems like a pretty innocuous statement to me. More like a statement of fact rather than a complaint. What is the problem with someone saying I was born different than someone else.. without someone reading into it that's it's something "terrible"?
The author of the article seems to be more about advocacy than some one's true feelings. That might be the authors opinion, but as we all know opinions are like........... I sure you know the rest.
I did read the article and how am I supposed to form an opinion if I don't take into account my feelings and experiences as to if I was indeed "just born this way"? How can you ask me not to consider whether or not I was born this way and just answer the author's and your question?
I see this as sort of like one of those "what if" questions that is geared towards the author's point of view.... It's not about you.. it's about my point?

Because the majority of TS (as well as myself and its implied by the author he feels the same) know they were born the way they are.

So if we took that as abstract, how do you think other people perceive the phrase?

I was trying to see if the majority of the members on here feel as if they are unintentionally putting themselves down after reading the article; or if they felt that other people didn't respond in that manner?

In an effort to put a more positive spin on the phrase, what would be a better choice of words?

See where I'm going with this? Often people don't think about the way their words can be taken in a different context. To me, the statement is just that. A statement of fact. But to someone who isn't TS, could it imply the person making that statement hates being TS? If it really is a matter of terminology, then what would be better phrasing?

[Stephanie Anne]

that article takes away my ability to make an excuse for being trans. there is no empowerment with transsexuality. It is a very personal thing and I think for me it makes me feel better to pretend to be the victim of gender rather than the crusader of choice.

No, it's not right and I should not be this way but it's a comfort mechanism to find blame.


To better bring my point home... I don't give a sh%^ about needing to be all empowered, I did not choose TS, TS chose me. If that makes me a victim, it makes me a victim and I learned to live with it.

You want some better words? how about "If I had a choice, I would not choose this but since I don't have a choice and it is who I am, I am not going to shame myself for who I am."


I totally agree with Karen, if I could I would have preferred to be born a woman because that is what I am and I got dealt a crap shoot I am having to correct day by day.

I hate the guilt, shame and years of wallowing in my own self pity, not the fact that I am gender unbalanced. I hate going through it all and would indeed not if it was something I could give up. My personal opinion is that anyone who says differently is denying their own pain.

[DemonicDaughter]

that article takes away my ability to make an excuse for being trans. there is no empowerment with transsexuality. It is a very personal thing and I think for me it makes me feel better to pretend to be the victim of gender rather than the crusader of choice.

No, it's not right and I should not be this way but it's a comfort mechanism to find blame.


To better bring my point home... I don't give a sh%^ about needing to be all empowered, I did not choose TS, TS chose me. If that makes me a victim, it makes me a victim and I learned to live with it.

You want some better words? how about "If I had a choice, I would not choose this but since I don't have a choice and it is who I am, I am not going to shame myself for who I am."


I totally agree with Karen, if I could I would have preferred to be born a woman because that is what I am and I got dealt a crap shoot I am having to correct day by day.

I hate the guilt, shame and years of wallowing in my own self pity, not the fact that I am gender unbalanced. I hate going through it all and would indeed not if it was something I could give up. My personal opinion is that anyone who says differently is denying their own pain.

See now! Was that so hard...er.. you know what I mean. :) I think that's one very honest answer and one that gets out more of how many might feel but never say! Good for you!

[subaru_forster]

As someone who has at times resorted to the "I didn't choose this" defense, I think the author of that article raises an interesting question. It made me wonder if the fact that I feel that I'm in the "wrong" body implies that I somehow feel that having incongruent gender identity is itself wrong.

One thing about LGBT as a whole is that prior to coming out, none of us are particularly segregated in upbringing than many of those who hate us. Many of us were given the message that it's wrong to not conform to gender just the same as society at large.

Now, all that being said, I don't think the author is correct on this count. The fact that none of us have chosen to be the way we are remains a legitimate speaking point on concerns involving our social status as a whole. Not because we would "change ourselves if we could" but because changing ourselves in this matter is simply impossible. It's just good for us to be mindful of any time we may be subtly defaulting against ourselves.

[Karen564]

In an effort to put a more positive spin on the phrase, what would be a better choice of words?

Here's the problem....

I don't see it as being negative in any way what so ever..
So a better choice of words? I can't think of any that would state the truth better for me..

But for some it may not....So if that doesn't apply to someone, then they can come up with their own choice of words to their liking that does fit them..



But to someone who isn't TS, could it imply the person making that statement hates being TS? If it really is a matter of terminology, then what would be better phrasing?


Personally, I have yet to this day have anyone tell me that I must hate myself just because I said, I didn't choose to be TS.....And I nor do they feel it's an excuse for anything.....far from it really...All I get from them is empathy & understanding of my condition...and I'm not looked upon or treated as sub-human, some weirdo, outcast or with pity by them..and they do take me very seriously, since I have been maintaining a constant 4.0 GPA in college..so they know I have a brain & know how to use it..

So now I'm starting think the only ones having issues with it are the ones that aren't meshing into society or getting their message across as well as they would like to...
I know some trans out there just like to flap their gums & feel good to be heard & noticed..
Where as I don't..and quite content in just blending into the woodwork going about my life...

So again, if someone chooses to say that phase or not makes no difference to me, since one size doesn't fit all, nor is it the truth for all...but it is for me & fits like a glove..

But like Joss Stone sings in my signature, I have the right to be wrong.....so go on, let it play as your reading what I said..and it may give ya idea of where I'm coming from...
:hugs:

[kellycan27]

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="Blue"]I'm often struck by the manner in which people choose to explain their situations in life. All too often someone makes a statement that speaks volumes about who they are and how they truly feel about themselves.

I am sorry but I just don't understand how you can say that a statement like this speaks volumes. All you can possibly do is make assumptions without further discussion with the person who made the admission. Am I like... not getting it? Should those who feel the need to explain themselves add a qualifier like.... I can't help that I was born this way but....... I am OK with it, love it, hate, don't understand it? I am not trying to be argumentative, I am trying to understand your point. If it is simply to imply that people make assumptions based on open ended statements... then yeah I suppose anything is possible.




Kel

[kellycan27]

I hate the guilt, shame and years of wallowing in my own self pity, not the fact that I am gender unbalanced. I hate going through it all and would indeed not if it was something I could give up. My personal opinion is that anyone who says differently is denying their own pain.

You are making an assumption based on your personal opinion. I figured this out at quite a young age, and it felt so right to me that intsted of hating everything I embraced it. My issues were more with how to go about making the change with no resources or support .Maybe because I hadn't been exposed to public pressure as of yet. Even when my parents found out, they were not happy, but they never said it was wrong, perverted,disgusting, or vile.

[DemonicDaughter]

When I stated that "All too often someone makes a statement that speaks volumes about who they are and how they truly feel about themselves" it wasn't directly regarding the phrased used in the article, it was a general statement that sometimes we don't realize what we say can be interpreted so differently than we meant it. That often we make general statements that says a lot more about who we are as people than we realize, or more of how we perceive ourselves as the author is implying. Of course this extends well beyond describing ourselves as being born some way or about not having a choice.

I felt the author had good intentions with wanting things stated in a more plain manner. Seems he was looking more for, "I was born this way and that's life" than the "I have no choice in the matter, its all being forced on me" 'victim' stance he feels it implies. If we took the same phrase out of being transgendered and used... let's say being blonde and it being an excuse for promiscuity, would it mean something totally different? Would it have the same meaning? Would it seem like just an excuse for specific behavior?

Personally, I think there are no right or wrong answers on this. I am merely looking for people's opinion on how the article makes them feel regarding their own self descriptions.

[pattyme]

Nobody chooses at birth. Got news for you all we make choises after that. I hit hard, I know it but I accept who I am and am learning to love myself. Don't waste time on the imponderable, the unchangeable. Work with what you have and make the best of it - stay the course.

Sailing my way
Patty

To love me is for me to be trans.

[Rianna Humble]

Do you think that by making statements like "I didn't choose to be this way" implies you hate the fact that you are or do you feel its a knee-jerk response or what?

I would have to go with "what" and I'll explain why lower down


Okay people, this article isn't about whether or not you had a choice in being trans. READ the article. Its about how making the statement, "I had no choice, I was born this way" makes it sound as if being TG is the worst thing on the planet.

I have read and understood the article, but the premise depends so much on how the statement is made and in what context. I have and will continue to use the phrase without the negative connotations.




Because the majority of TS (as well as myself and its implied by the author he feels the same) know they were born the way they are.

So if we took that as abstract, how do you think other people perceive the phrase?

I was trying to see if the majority of the members on here feel as if they are unintentionally putting themselves down after reading the article; or if they felt that other people didn't respond in that manner?

Of course I know (now) that I was born the way I am, but again how other people judge my use of the phrase in question is governed by the context in which I use it. I certainly don't feel that my use of the phrase is any sort of put-down, but then maybe I am different because of the way that I use the phrase - which is in a specific context.

I never use the phrase in the sense that could be construed as wishing I were cisgendered, but rather as part of the explanation of why it took me so long to accept myself.

When I was in my teens I got caught up in a religious movement that made me believe that being trans was dirty and shameful. They preached that gender and sexuality are a choice and that people choose to be homosexual or trans and can simply choose to be the opposite and it will be so. ... Once I finally accepted who I am, I realised that I didn't choose to be trans any more than I chose the number of fingers I have on each hand, it is just part of me.

[Hephaestus]

I didn't choose to be this way. I'd choose to be 'normal' in a second.
When people understand that we aren't freaks and fetishists, and stop acting like we choose to be this way because we get off on it, maybe "I didn't choose to be this way" won't feel like the right way to explain it. :straightface:

[Traci Elizabeth]

Perhaps it's my age and experience in life but I am very comfortable being me.

I do not feel I owe an explanation to anyone about my gender or sexual orientation or to justify my being.

"I didn't chose to be this way" just does not compute with me. Which way?

Actually if you think about it, most of us have chosen to be so-called "this way."

We have tried to adapt our life to fit the male role we were thrust into. For most of us, we don't want to live our lives through a male facade so we consciously make the decision to transition.

Put me in the crowd of "I am glad I am "This Way!"."

I am a lot happier and content being a trans-woman than I was a man.

[olga]

The author of the article implies that everyone who says “I didn’t choose to be this way” expresses themselves as a powerless victim. That’s simply not true.

[Rianna Humble]

Actually if you think about it, most of us have chosen to be so-called "this way."

We have tried to adapt our life to fit the male role we were thrust into. For most of us, we don't want to live our lives through a male facade so we consciously make the decision to transition.

I understand what you are trying to say here, Traci, but I must respectfully disagree with your fundamental premise.

The "this way" that is referred to in the article on which we were asked to comment is transgender - not "in transition".

I was born transgender, I did not choose to be transgender, neither did I choose how many fingers I would have on each hand nor my eye colour - all of these are part of me.

The choice I did make was to give up fighting who I am rather than to end my life. I felt there was more future in accepting myself :doh:

The quote "I did not choose to be this way" is a valid and direct contradiction of those rabid fundamentalists who claim that being transgender is a lifestyle choice which can be reversed at will. They are wrong!

Since deciding against suicide, I have made other choices such as accepting my need to transition. Again, for me, it is not so much a choice of lifestyle as an acceptance that I will never be whole unless I do this thing that may cost me friends, social standing and perhaps even livelihood.

You say I chose consciously to transition, I see it more as I chose to live whatever the cost.

[Ashley S]

I also find it to be a statement of fact more than anything else, but to me, it depends on how it's said.

Maybe it's more about the delivery than the statement itself. Maybe if it had some qualifiers in there like:

"I didn't choose to be transgendered, just like you didn't choose to be cisgendered, it's life and I regret nothing."

or

"It wasn't a choice for me to be who I am, and it's wasn't a choice for you to be who you are, but we're both people, and that's that."

Or, more simply

"We are the way we are, get used to it."

[Traci Elizabeth]

I understand what you are trying to say here, Traci, but I must respectfully disagree with your fundamental premise.

The "this way" that is referred to in the article on which we were asked to comment is transgender - not "in transition".

I was born transgender, I did not choose to be transgender, neither did I choose how many fingers I would have on each hand nor my eye colour - all of these are part of me.

The choice I did make was to give up fighting who I am rather than to end my life. I felt there was more future in accepting myself :doh:

The quite "I did not choose to be this way" is a valid and direct contradiction of those rabid fundamentalists who claim that being transgender is a lifestyle choice which can be reversed at will. They are !

Since deciding against suicide, I have made other choices such as accepting my need to transition. Again, for me, it is not so much a choice of lifestyle as an acceptance that I will never be whole unless I do this thing that may cost me friends, social standing and perhaps even livelihood.

You say I chose consciously to transition, I see it more as I chose to live whatever the cost.


Although different than mine, I do understand your position.

I think we are all "in transition" in one form or another from living our life openly & physically as our gender to transitioning away from our gender and going back to whence we came and everywhere in between.

Being born transsexual in my mind is not something we choose or not choose it is simply a statement of birth fact that can't be denied, wished away, or taken back.

In my case, I don't see my own transsexualism as being anything but a positive birth gift. Yes, it is very true that I "chose" not to openly transition to publicly living my life as the woman I was born until after I retired but that was my conscious decision based on career, income, wife, and children. But I am fine with that decision.

I just don't see anything negative in the fact of being born transsexual. It does not make us any less or better than any other human. It just makes us .. well us!

[hopingsecret]

What do you think? Do you think that by making statements like "I didn't choose to be this way" implies you hate the fact that you are or do you feel its a knee-jerk response or what?

I don't think it's a staement of self loating but fact. I didn't choose to be white, my genetics make me so. I don't hate being white, or wish to be another race, I'm just making a statement of fact. The only difference is that there's not a group of people who are saying that being white is a choice (and a degenerate, demonic one at that) like they do with TGs. It's a rebuttal to an unwarranted charge.

[lizlizzie]

From the perspective of someone who had to learn a whole lot, my first reaction when my spouse told me he was a she in a man's body was that she did have a choice. That like an addict, you can choose not to take the next drink. It took me a while to learn that she doesn't have a choice.

I understand what the article is saying, but in reality if my spouse had a choice I am sure it would be to have been born mentally and physically congruent regardless of the gender. This is not an easy road for her and the pain it has cause me wounds her as well.

I don't think saying this is not a choice makes someone a victim. A victim is someone who says feel sorry for me, woe is me, poor me, and I don't see that in her, her friends, or the people in this forum. As others said, it is a statement of fact.

[fallen_rayne]

A good friend told me that "Gender is what is in your head, sex is what is between your legs." I believe this to be true indefinitely.

I do agree with most people are saying that it is a self-hating thing that most people go through. "Woe is me" kinda thing, however, you are you are. Yes, you may not choose it at birth (actually alot of spiritualists believe you chose it as a spirit, angel, whatever) but it is what you were dealt. So choose your bluff and go down swinging, because it's those people who fold who aren't going to feel successful with their life.

[noeleena]

Hi.

Do i throw the spanner in the works & say im ether or both, really im glad who i am having the mind of both male & female. i dont need to even think or consider the ? because if there was a choise it was made for me ,
Because of that & being different there was not the detail that many if not most of you have had to go through,
I understand the ? yet does not apply to me,
& yes i had other details to deal with . that does not say i knew the answers , far from it, till many years later.
How do you lose it & stop being a victim , accept your self for who you are , i know some cant & wont . hence the victim syndrome ,

We did not choose to be the way we are . nore did we to be born, yet there will come a time when we will know, what this is all about .

As to other people accepting us thats up to you all here, im accepted & i have many many friends, & met up with 120 people on saturday just gone, who iv not seen in over 50 years from school, Thats says acceptance in the way i was accepted,
May be i see things & do things differently part of who i am as a person.
The ? really is a no brainer for me, interesting tho it may be.

...noeleena...

[Pink Person]

Many cisgender people desperately want to feel superior to transgender people. They want to feel biologically superior and morally superior. They frequently refuse to recognize natural human diversity and basic human equality. They also frequently refuse to recognize the difference between moral behavior and nonmoral behavior.

There is no such thing as a biological gender hero or heroic gender behavior. Biological gender diversity is normal and is not qualitatively significant, in general. Furthermore, gender behavior is subjective and nonmoral, not objective and moral, or open to a moral analysis of right and wrong.

No one is a superhero because they are cisgender and behave in a cisgender manner. No one is a supervillain because they are transgender and behave in a transgender manner. There is no such thing as gender superiority or gender inferiority in a formal sense or a functional sense.

Gender biology and gender behavior are related. Cisgender people tend to behave in a cisgender manner. Transgender people tend to behave in a transgender manner. I think it’s fine to say that transgender people don’t make (moral) choices to be transgender, because it’s true. No one makes moral gender choices, including cisgender people. I also think it’s okay to say that transgender people don’t make (biologically independent) choices to be transgender, because no one does, including cisgender people.

Some cisgender people like to use the argument of choice against transgender people without examining how it applies to them and consequently leads to absurd conclusions about everyone. If cisgender people continue to make false and abusive claims about transgender choices then transgender people should feel free to respond to them directly without being accused of victimizing themselves.

[Rianna Humble]

From the perspective of someone who had to learn a whole lot, my first reaction when my spouse told me he was a she in a man's body was that she did have a choice. That like an addict, you can choose not to take the next drink. It took me a while to learn that she doesn't have a choice.

I understand what the article is saying, but in reality if my spouse had a choice I am sure it would be to have been born mentally and physically congruent regardless of the gender. This is not an easy road for her and the pain it has cause me wounds her as well.

I don't think saying this is not a choice makes someone a victim. A victim is someone who says feel sorry for me, woe is me, poor me, and I don't see that in her, her friends, or the people in this forum. As others said, it is a statement of fact.

Thank you, Lizzie, I feel that this very thoughtful contribution sets the phrase into a very good context. You are right that when our gender dysphoria causes pain to our loved ones, it hurts us as well. Like you, I don't see the "poor little victim me" attitude in these forums.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Many cisgender people desperately want to feel superior to transgender people. They want to feel biologically superior and morally superior. They frequently refuse to recognize natural human diversity and basic human equality. They also frequently refuse to recognize the difference between moral behavior and nonmoral behavior.

There is no such thing as a biological gender hero or heroic gender behavior. Biological gender diversity is normal and is not qualitatively significant, in general. Furthermore, gender behavior is subjective and nonmoral, not objective and moral, or open to a moral analysis of right and wrong.

No one is a superhero because they are cisgender and behave in a cisgender manner. No one is a supervillain because they are transgender and behave in a transgender manner. There is no such thing as gender superiority or gender inferiority in a formal sense or a functional sense.

Gender biology and gender behavior are related. Cisgender people tend to behave in a cisgender manner. Transgender people tend to behave in a transgender manner. I think it’s fine to say that transgender people don’t make (moral) choices to be transgender, because it’s true. No one makes moral gender choices, including cisgender people. I also think it’s okay to say that transgender people don’t make (biologically independent) choices to be transgender, because no one does, including cisgender people.

Some cisgender like to use the argument of choice against transgender people without examining how it applies to them and consequently leads to absurd conclusions about everyone. If cisgender people continue to make false and abusive claims about transgender choices then transgender people should feel free to respond to them directly without being accused of victimizing themselves.

This is thoughtful and interesting...and factual...

the article posted in the OP seemed arrogant and preachy compared to the above....

how can you say that i can't say a true thing? ... especially something about myself that i know to be true? so his point is i should lie or bend the truth to get better acceptance? from who? people too stupid to understand what i'm saying?

also IMHO, saying that you are good with yourself, or that you are happy you are you is totally different than saying if i had a choice i'd choose to be a transsexual person...

saying that i suffer my situation gladly because I'm just me is different than saying i would choose to suffer...

i say enough already with the enough already articles, they may be misinterpreted by people not as smart as me

[Karen564]

The article more reminded me of someone that wants to reinvent the wheel or a better mouse trap....
Not that there's anything wrong with trying to, but the problem is, their ideas are all based on a personal theory, not a proven time tested working model that works for everyone..

I prefer to stick with what fits & works for me personally....

Everybody else can do as they wish ....
:hugs:

[charlotte_sp]

Thanks for posting that article, I enjoyed it very much.

When you play the victim, people may help you, but it will be out of sometimes condescending sympathy instead of true empathy.
People also tend to blame the victim for the crime.
I definitely approve of the message in that article.