Getting dumped . . .

[CharleneT]

So, I've been dating a couple of guys. One turned out to be married ("... check please .... buh bye ...") the other a rather nice guy. We had good fun together. Was going slow but nice. He was in a relationship in the past with a post-op gal, so I wasn't so daunting. Well, he dumped me today....arrrgggg..... why mention it ? I gotta say that the opening line in his "Dear Char" letter made it seem ok, oddly:

"Hi Charlene,
I did have a nice time with you; you're a great cook and an entertaining companion, but.... You really are successful at being a woman; from my standpoint, scarily so."

Ok ... I'll take that as a compliment !!

Oh, why dump me ? He was getting too attached and did not want that ... men, can't live with 'em and it is illegal to shoot 'em.....

[bianca66]

Funny but I think he wanted a gay hairy man in a dress not a woman?

Don't know about his dating a pre-op story though...

Take it as a compliment Sugar ~ Kisses :*

[Nicole Erin]

the hairy man in a dress thing could very well be true, and kind of close to what I was thinking

HAha ha you know what else it could be? Maybe he doesn't believe you are really TG, maybe he thinks you are a GG just saying you are TG so he would date you. :heehee: (to put a slight twist of humor on the "coming out" issue)

If you can get some dates that is excellent, I can't see myself ever actually dating again :S

[Sheila]

:hugs: sorry, it hurts don't it :sad:, and yeah your right it it illegal to shoot em .......... maybe one day when women really rule the world we can change that :heehee::heehee:

There is someone out there for you (& you Nicole and yeah you will date again aunty Sheila promises :D) & when you find em you will be glad the toads past on .............. took me 50 years of kissing toads to find Debs but she was worth the wait & I really do appreciate her, all the more so for having kissed all the toads on the way to her :D:D

[Darbie45]

there is a right way and a wrong way to break up. I have had both. Just depends upon the situation

[carolinoakland]

The tin man knows the price of a real heart comes after it comes to life...

[Hope]

but.... You really are successful at being a woman; from my standpoint, scarily so."


I'm not sure that is a statement that should be prefaced with a "but..." What an odd, back handed compliment.

This is clearly one of those situations where you are better off without him... even if it doesn't look that way now.

[kellycan27]

Isn't this why we date? To see if we are compatable?

[CharleneT]

I'm not sure that is a statement that should be prefaced with a "but..." What an odd, back handed compliment.

This is clearly one of those situations where you are better off without him... even if it doesn't look that way now.

Dammed with faint praise is one way to describe it ! Although this isn't quite that. No doubt I'm better off without him, but it felt rather weird to be rejected partially because I pass !! That scares him ? Geesshh.... maybe he did want a hairy man in a dress ?

THANKS for all the kind thoughts, indeed I know to expect this sort of thing, still doesn't make the medicine go down easily though :Angry3:

I'm going to check out that "South Park Defense" :thumbsup::thumbsup:

thank you Carol ... :hugs:

[Karen564]

Sorry Charlene..:hugs:

But that's exactly why I wont date a gay man..

[GypsyKaren]

Somehow the phrase "f**k him" comes to mind...

GK

[Sharon]

It's the nice guys who tend to hurt you the most. And as to Karen's advice above this post, that's about all most men are good for..., and even then it's a crapshoot. :)

You know, they oughta make it a law that assholes need to wear signs around their necks so that we know ahead of time what we are dealing with.

:thinking:....Boy, the sign business would be a great stock to invest in if that law was ever to pass. :p

Oh! And hey Charlene...! :bh: :bh: :bh:

[boardpuppy]

Don't invest to much of your heart in someone until you know who you are dating, but do date and stay out there, the right one will come along. In the long run, the best lovers are made from best buds and then friends. When he comes along, you will know and there will be no reason to ask questions and this is the good part, no excusses needed.

Hugs,
Alice

[Katesback]

Rejection is part of the game of being TS. It is sooo common that we tend to try to ignore the reality. Sure some people will find someone and have a healthy relationship...but the cards are against us.

[luvSophia]

..and it is illegal to shoot 'em...
:eek: Uh oh. Are you sure about this? I thought there was a season or something.

[CharleneT]

Sorry Charlene..:hugs:

But that's exactly why I wont date a gay man..

He is bi, but it doesn't matter really.


Don't invest to much of your heart in someone until you know who you are dating, but do date and stay out there, the right one will come along. In the long run, the best lovers are made from best buds and then friends. When he comes along, you will know and there will be no reason to ask questions and this is the good part, no excusses needed.

Hugs,
Alice

thanks :) :) do have to kiss a few frogs, while I know it, it does surprise you some times !


Rejection is part of the game of being TS. It is sooo common that we tend to try to ignore the reality. Sure some people will find someone and have a healthy relationship...but the cards are against us.

Rejection is part of dating in general, I was just venting really. As well as sharing the odd comment ... which to me (now) seems almost funny. Time heals all wounds. I agree about the "cards against us..." part, although it is sad that I do so. Being pre-op I think makes it especially un-balanced. But I dealt myself this deck, so onward . . .


:eek: Uh oh. Are you sure about this? I thought there was a season or something.

LOL -- thanks !

I should check, maybe a bow hunting season in the early fall ? When I was a teenager I was decent with a bow !!

[Katesback]

God I hate to say this but if someone is pre-op and dating I can ONLY wish the best for them. The cards ARE REALLY stacked up against them then.

The big problem is no matter how nice the guy or girl you are dating as a pre op is there will likely come a time when that person says woww I am dating a guy and they will run. The same applies to post op as well but the rules are a bit different.

Katie

[NiCo]

Somehow the phrase "f**k him" comes to mind...

GK

This is top advice Charlene.

Listen, I know it may seem to you that a lot of guys are d*ckheads but we aren’t all like that and it makes me ashamed to say I’m male when you come across these type of reptilian ^&*£s. I’ve been hurt by men too so I can empathise with you but don’t let them get in your way of finding the right man for you.

He’ll find you. Mines found me and I’ve never been so happy [or nice///or loving///or caring…gosh! :heehee:]

All the best, keep bouncing back and as GK said, f*ck him. F*ck it. Number 1 comes first always! :hugs:

[tamarav]

Some guys just can't know an awesome person like you, they are too much into themselves.

Next!

[Teri Jean]

Sofia you need to check the hunting laws in Iowa. It is open season there and the rifle is sighted in at 300yrds. LOL

Teri

[hopingsecret]

[QUOTE=CharleneT;2169166]He is bi, but it doesn't matter really.


I think that explains it all. Most more than likely he's really gay and dating trans-women is his attempt to appear hetro. Everytime I think about being single, I hear a story like this and I'm glad to be married all over again.

[Zenith]

...The big problem is no matter how nice the guy or girl you are dating as a pre op is there will likely come a time when that person says woww I am dating a guy and they will run....

Katie

Um, no. Spent the weekend with Charlene and she is a very charming and genuine female spirit. "Scarily" so...gonna be a catch for the right, worthy person...

:hugs:

[Hope]

God I hate to say this but if someone is pre-op and dating I can ONLY wish the best for them. The cards ARE REALLY stacked up against them then.

The big problem is no matter how nice the guy or girl you are dating as a pre op is there will likely come a time when that person says woww I am dating a guy and they will run. The same applies to post op as well but the rules are a bit different.

You are always telling us how supportive you are of the TG community - but then you keep posting $hit like this...

Did you even read Charlene's post? This guy wasn't running because she is "a guy" but rather too much of a girl...

It's almost like you are looking for reasons to criticize...

[Ze]

Perhaps it was the "hurt masculinity" thing. Some cismen still feel uncomfortable, threatened, or intimidated by a successful woman. If this was the case with him, perhaps the icing on the cake was not only that you were more successful than him, but more successful and doing so in a dress. :heehee: It's a huge cultural shock, identity crisis, and threat to him all in one.

I'd try my best to take it for a compliment and run with it. :hugs:


:eek: Uh oh. Are you sure about this? I thought there was a season or something.

Somebody remind me when to hide. :itb:

[Katesback]

Hope.

My statment is not against the TG community. I kind of wonder why you see what I wrote to be against the tg community.

With that part said my statment was based on my experiences with ts girls that are pre opp and date. Most often the results are not good....sometimes they end up dead!

The fact is that being TS and dating has a lot of challenges, if one is pre-op then those are magnified dramatically. Thats just life.

Katie

[Zenith]

...Somebody remind me when to hide. :itb:

Only for nice ones like you, I'm sure Charlene will use suction cup tipped arrows...:D

[RebeccaLynne]

I gotta say that the opening line in his "Dear Char" letter made it seem ok....

In a LETTER? Are you serious? What manner of man were you dating who could'nt have a face-to-face, heart-to-heart conversation about your relationship?

You really need to be more selective.

[CharleneT]

In a LETTER? Are you serious? What manner of man were you dating who could'nt have a face-to-face, heart-to-heart conversation about your relationship?

You really need to be more selective.

Short answer: a tacky one

Don't ya know, email is the new "letter", and it trumps a face to face any day. I'd say I was unlucky, but I know a bunch of folks who've had the same result. It isn't just guys who are too chicken, girls do it all the time.

Folks, don't fight over my stupid date, I think the guy was seriously worried about liking me.... yer standard commitment phobic fella. Soo common as to be a commodity market of their own ;)

. . . but I do have some suction cup arrows, with plastic fletching too :devil:

I'll try again, probably nutt'n honey, but ya gotta try eh ? !

[Hope]

In a LETTER? Are you serious? What manner of man were you dating who could'nt have a face-to-face, heart-to-heart conversation about your relationship?

A letter is pretty classy these days.

My wife works with high school and college kids - apparently the new standard is the text message, of even more passively - the subtle change of Facebook status.

I am now going to go check myself into a retirement home and be done with it.

[Midnight Skye]

Keep trying Charlene, there are plenty of keepers in Iowa! Least they know how to work up there (grumbles). I swear the men down her wouldn't know real work if it hit them in the face.

[Starling]

I'm so sorry that happened, Charlene. But marvelous people of all shapes and sizes get dumped every day, and many of them go on to dump someone else. It's just part of life, isn't it? But when you really click with someone, it's the best thing in the world, and it makes up for all the crêpe--you should pardon the expression.

:daydreaming: Lallie

[kellycan27]

God I hate to say this but if someone is pre-op and dating I can ONLY wish the best for them. The cards ARE REALLY stacked up against them then.

The big problem is no matter how nice the guy or girl you are dating as a pre op is there will likely come a time when that person says woww I am dating a guy and they will run. The same applies to post op as well but the rules are a bit different.

Katie

I have to disagree. This one carat rock on my ring finger tells me different.:battingeyelashes: