Bi-curious, or just sexual gratification?

[rochelle33]

I love dressing up but i'm in the closet. Dressing up makes me feel good and relaxed, but it also turns me on sexually, and I would love to go out dressed, but I don't think I can pull it off. I'm a straight man and I love women, but sometimes I get curious and think of what it would be like, to be with a man fully dressed up. So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

[lottarosie70]

Rochelle, I really don't think you are crazy. The problem may stem from feeling the need to categorize. However, I have been where you are...wanting to play with a man (or at least that one part) but not being attracted to men.

I finally just decided to like what I like, and not worry about what it makes me. I still haven't really explored those desires in real life, but I accept that I have them, and enjoy the fantasies.

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Rochelle. I felt like you initially but now I can get turned by either sex. I believe we are all born bi-sexual, its conditioning that mahes us one way or another. So don't worry, enjoy yourself and get out there.

[SandraAbsent]

I finally just decided to like what I like, and not worry about what it makes me.

Absolutely!

Are you gay? Imagine this:
North Pole, South Pole and a WHOLE lot of planet in the middle.
Male, Female, and a WHOLE lot of gray in the middle.
Gay, Straight, and a WHOLE lot of gray in the middle.

I had my first experience while dressed, I didn't really care for it and will probably never do it again. This does not change the fact that my brain still entertains the idea occasionally? Just let yourself be you.

[Karen564]

I think it's very normal to feel that way & many probably feel the same way you do...Based on what I've seen here...

So go with it, and who knows, you may like it more than you ever thought possible...

Enjoy ! :battingeyelashes:

[Joanne f]

As we know there are many reasons for wanting to CD and i have always thought that it depends on your particular reason for wanting to CD on whether there is a likelihood of you having Bi thoughts and i think it is far more common than most will admit ,so i would not worry about it if that's what makes you happy .

[lee in a skirt]

Hi. I kind of female the same way although I do class myself as bi because i am sometimes attracted to men. I would never act on this though because I dont want to spoil what I already have with my acceptiing SO. One thing you need to think about is if you only want to have an experience when dressed then it could be a bad idea because you will end up taking your clothes off and then the desire may go away.

[boardpuppy]

Don't worry about your classification (straight, bi or gay)enjoy yourself. If you are honus with whom ever, you will enjoy yourself and return for more.
The more you explore, the more you will learn about yourself. None of the girls here woke the next morning and desided to be a CEer or gay or anything in between.

Hugs,
Alice

[Shari]

Certainly nothing to lose any sleep over Rochelle.

You have a great deal of company here.

[Anneliese]

I am turned on by women and by men dressed as women (passing in most cases, but not all), although I've only been with the former at this point. Men as men? Nothing.

[kimdl93]

I think its clear that you're expressing curiosity - that's a pretty common attribute for humans. Doesn't necessarily mean anything than that. If you decided to act upon your curiosity, that would be another matter.

[JulieC]

I love dressing up but i'm in the closet. Dressing up makes me feel good and relaxed, but it also turns me on sexually, and I would love to go out dressed, but I don't think I can pull it off. I'm a straight man and I love women, but sometimes I get curious and think of what it would be like, to be with a man fully dressed up. So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

Yep, certifiable. Just like the rest of us humans :)

There's nothing wrong or right about being interested in being with a man. Many CDers here have noted they have such thoughts occasionally, usually when dressed. This is just who you are. I wouldn't worry about trying to answer the question of "Am I gay?" Labels come with connotations that can confuse things.

Being sexually aroused when crossdressed is not at all unusual. Many CDers have a similar reaction, especially when you're younger. Whether or not the _only_ reason you like to crossdress being for sexual gratification is a question only you can answer. Like the question of being gay or not, I wouldn't worry too much about the answer to that question. Crossdressing isn't illegal, and you're not doing anything wrong. In this case (this rule doesn't always apply) if it feels good, then do it. Enjoy it. I will say this; most CDers over time have less of a sexual component to crossdressing, but are still strongly driven to crossdress. There's a good chance you are the same.

SandraAbsent noted the grey areas in our self definitions. The idea of a two box system of male/female, gay/not-gay is false on the face of it. There's a presumption in our society that the two box system must exist. It doesn't have to exist and in fact is a societal falsehood. Being somewhere in the grey area in sexual attraction for men or women doesn't mean you're less sexually attracted to the other. It's not a zero sum situation. Just because you're stongly attracted to women doesn't mean you can't also be attracted to men in some way.

Self acceptance in CDing is one of the hardest, if not THE hardest bridges to cross. I know in another post of yours you lamented not having yet found the right woman to accept you. Usually, the primary obstacle to that happening is yourself. You can't expect someone else to accept you if you can't accept yourself. That's a long road, but you can do it.

Once you have accepted yourself to some degree, finding someone to accept you becomes a lot easier. But, you also have to be willing to give her the opportunity to accept you. Don't hide your CD interest from people you're dating. You might wait a while, a few months into dating, before telling her but don't waste too much time beating about the bush. Either she'll accept you or she won't, but if you don't give her the opportunity to accept you the answer will ALWAYS be 'no, she hasn't accepted all of me'.

Don't ever delude yourself into thinking that if you just find the right woman, you'll stop CDing. It doesn't work that way. Also, purging (by getting rid of all femme clothes you have) doesn't work either. It just wastes money.

[Tess]

I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

You have company. That is a very close description of where I was at personally for many years but it had nothing to do with crossdressing. Over time and experience I have lost a lot of interest in women sexually and far prefer male equipment in a sex partner, but still couldn't love a man in the same way I love a woman. With the exception of that emotion everything else is fair game with a guy.

[Lorileah]

I think men are oooogie (this week).

Fantasies are good for you. They allow you to "live out" things you won't do in real life. You can imagine what things would be like, how it would go, what would happen. Everyone does this. Seldom does it work out like you thought it would (and sometimes it works out better). It isn't abnormal, it is healthy.

Now speaking of "healthy" there were a few "go for it's" here and if you do (and it sounds like a HUGE if) be careful. Really be careful.

[kellycan27]

With so many claiming to be str8 I believe that the " I think about having sex with a man" thingy is more a product of the "Pink fog" notion.. Girls have sex with men, so in order to be more "girl like" ( for some maybe even a lot) it makes sense. Nothing wrong with that.......... I am guessing that it adds to the allure. Does thinking about it make you gay or even bi? I think not.

I am all for the try it you might like it option, but it's not a stretch for me because I like it.. You just need to keep in mind that when you get down to brass tacks and the clothes come off, the fantasy may well disappear qiuckly, but on the other hand.. it's just sex.. it washes off :lol2:

Kel

[kristinacd55]

Welcome to the club Rochelle, lots of us out there have exactly the same feelings! It's all about you & what you feel that counts though :)

[Mistybtm]

:battingeyelashes:totaly bi here and dress and had enjoyed the best of both world for a wile now just be careful and go with your gut feelings. and you will be just fine.:battingeyelashes:

[Sophie_C]

I think, to answer this question is to beg the question of "What do we ALLOW ourselves to be attracted to?" Because of society, religion, family, etc - there are some serious walls placed in people's minds making them not address attraction to quite a few people, whether is it based on gender, race, class, etc. and most people are utterly unaware of that even existing.

Based on everything I've seen posted here and experienced, in this "pink fog" all bets are off, the "gloves are taken off" and people just be what they want to be, including letting fantasies take their natural course (regardless of birth gender), and YES, reality can be an extension of fantasy. I mean, isn't dreaming part of falling in love? Isn't attraction something that lingers after that person is gone and exists while you're anticipating being with them in advance?

I really, really think there is a bisexual nature present for a lot more people than care to admit to themselves (even if they are mainly birth gender heterosexual), and this is just falling into that gray area people don't allow themselves to journey into, otherwise. Does that mean they are not still mainly birth gender heterosexual? no, but it could. Does it mean they don't love their wives? Of course, not. Does it mean that this side of themselves is something that exists in thin air and vanishes when that moment of 'pink fog' is over? No. It's real and exists and is a true part of the person who cares to explore a side most people don't have the courage to do so.

Honestly, if there wasn't the "one drop" rule of gayness for birth males that exists today (meaning that most people, think that if someone is one drop non-heterosexual, they're just not admitting to themselves they are 100% gay yet), the way birth women are treated, this wouldn't be a big deal at all. I mean, have you ever heard a man thinking he should be running to a divorce if his wife was bi? But, that's pretty much par for course if a woman were to find out a man was. That's the crux of the situation and why it's very hard to know the precise truth here. But, that does seem to add up, quite a bit.

[JulieK1980]

Nothing at all wrong with that, follow your desires! :2c:

I used to have those same questions, and wondered if I was gay, or straight, or bi-curious, or (insert other terms here)

After years of soul searching, and self discovery, I realized I was Bi, I'm attracted to men and women equally. I care who the person is much more than what plumbing they have. Once I realized there was nothing wrong with me, regardless of who I was, the pieces started falling together.

[missynicole]

When dressed I love sex as a woman with a man. When a man I love sex with women. Go with what your spirit and soul tell you sweety. Oh and yes when dressed I also like sex with another cd.

[Shananigans]

Haha everyone is bi-curious, or in denial of it. I could be biased though... I wouldn't worry about it. The thought of many things turn me on, but at the end of the day I have to ask myself if it's just a fantasy. A lot of things are, and I wouldn't want to act them out in real life. So, just ask yourself if being with a man is something you would REALLY want to try. If so, go for it. You only live once according to a few religions.

[bionca]

Yes Rochelle (nice name by the way!) I have been thinking the same thing recently, but it didn't take long to realize I can't catagorize it, which is great. You are unique. Your fantasies are yours, they're creative. When I am not dressed, guys are freinds or co-workers, totally male relationship and I like it that way. When I am dressed, I fantasize about being seductive, sultry, submissive, for...pretty well anyone(!), but especially males.

[VikkiVixen7188]

I had that kind of thing going on too, but here is what it is.

You want to be a girl, and girls want to be with men.
The idea of being with a man makes you feel more like a girl.
Your not turned on by the man, your turned on by the enhanced femininity.

[Lilly 40C]

Why keep suppressing your feelings? Try it, only you will know if you like it. At first kissing another man turned me off too. Although the genital thing came very naturally. Now it is as natural as kissing a women and the genitals simply wonderful. Nothing wrong with being Bi. Lots of us here are Bi. Dressing simply amplifies those feelings, it does not create them.

[Fab Karen]

Crazy people never even think to question their sanity ( "yew betcha" *WINK* ).

As Robert Palmer said,"some like it hot, but you never know hot til you try" ( just use common sense, and protection for certain acts )

Or as the witch said, SURRENDER DOROTHY

[Rogina B]

All i can add is.. Have fun,use protection,and wash up when you're through!!!You thoughts areYOUR THOUGHTS,don't let others control them!:2c:

[rochelle33]

I want to thank everyone for their comments. It's good to know, that i'm not the only one having these feelings. I've been having these feelings for years, but have yet to act on them. I don't know if i'm scared or haven't had the right opportunity. I don't have any cd friends, and i'm working up the courage to go to a cd club or bar nearby (not dressed as a girl). There are a number of clubs here in Los Angeles. Classifying myself gay or bi, is something that troubles me, I don't know if I could live with it. For now I will continue to dress up, secretly.

[NathalieX66]

For me, all the times that I have gone out in public, I just feel glad to be me.
I did it.
It's so much fun that sexual gratification isn't needed. I'm so hooked on the interaction with people that that's the high I get out of CD'ing. I feel like a different person when I do it. In some cases, it feels like being a celebrity.

[MrKunk]

I think that it has nothing about being gay or bi sexual it has to do with the fact that you feel extremely feminine. This was something that you are born with, but discover either slightly before or during puberty.

[kellycan27]

Haha everyone is bi-curious, or in denial of it.

Please don't speak for me in your generalization... Thank you

[AriannaVillota]

Please don't speak for me in your generalization... Thank you

Pretty sure she was being light hearted. :-p

And you are who you are. People and feelings change almost daily. Don't fight it, just go with it.

[Dana]

Gender idenity and sexual idenity?

I a Rubix Cube!

[Shananigans]

Please don't speak for me in your generalization... Thank you

Yeah, it was kind of a joke. Wouldn't even think of you. :)

[Heidi_slave]

Rochelle,

An interesting thread. Thanks.

I share your feelings, including being conflicted over the attraction to man parts. The Girls have done a great job describing why we might feel this way. Sure, it's all a part of feeling femme, but I wanted to add my two cents.

In my daylight world I'm straight and male. When the sun sets I often feel the onset of The Urge to dress, behave and feel femme. I fight The Urge, because I have very little opportunity to dress and because it would be very risky to my relationship, but ultimately it always wins. Like most of us, I think, The Urge has changed, grown and progressed with time. What started with me as an attraction to wearing stockings has become a full-blown dress-up fetish. Each time, and at each stage, I feel mild shock and surprise, I go through a phase of futile resistance, then I succumb to it with a mind-numbing whoosh. Here's the point of the story: I think that the irresistable pull to do something naughty is the cause of the erotic "zing" that I feel. Feeling unable to resist is hugely erotic, and keeps leading to more and more outrageous urges.

I can relate to your nascent bisexual urges. I have them too. I haven't acted on them - yet - but I know how it progresses: feelings --> urges --> needs --> compulsion --> kneeling with your mouth open.

Fight it at your peril. :o

Heidi

[tammygirl79]

Rochelle, I know exactly where you are coming from. I have always been a streight man myself...I am attracted to women, and have only been in relationships with women. However, throughout the years, the thought of experimenting has become more & more apealing to me, and I would fantasize about what it would be like a lot....but only sexually, not in a relationship. A few years back I started chating with a man on a gay dateing site and one day felt comfortable enough to ask him out. We went out and had a good time but then when he wanted to fool around, I started getting nervouse and pretended to get a phone call from my work asking me to come in. about a year ago I went out on a date with another cd. I was much more comfortable and we did do a lot of kissing & fondleing and I realized that I had just got myself all worked up with the guy before for nothing. It felt very right on the second occasion....kissing is kissing, you just don't think about the sex of the person while you are kissing them....you just focus on how wonderful it feels (unless they are a bad kisser...lol.). Now, out side of kissing and fondleing (genitals), I haven't gone all the way with another man or cd, and I don't know if I ever will. What I do know is that worrying about catagorizeing yourself as streaight, gay, or bi is irrelavent....it's all about what you find attractive and are comfortable doing. Just go with what feels right & comfortable to you. Oh, and I also am the same way as you when it comes to going out as a woman, I want to sooo bad, but I am not comfortable yet in doing so....I don't think I can pass....especialy in the face. Hopefully I will get to the point one day where I will be able to. Good luck Rochelle! :)

[Rachael502]

Kissing is such an important part of lovemaking I think, so if the thought of kissing a man turns you off, why go there? :battingeyelashes:

[emilygielen]

Don't worry... I think it is totally normal to be curious about that sort of things...

Myself I concider me as a straight guy, i love girls and only girls but I'm also fantasize about the girl sexual things
I think that we all have a bi-part in ourself. I would definitely not live a love story with a boy, but I might having some sex! If there's an occasion!

[JainaCarpaccio]

I know that feeling as well. I fought for years, but at this point i've just siad to heck with it and decided to experiment with a man or tg to see if i like it. Still looking, but i'll be glad once the issue is resolved one way or the other.

[Cait]

Don't be afraid to try out new things. And remeber to just have fun whatever you do.

[AmandaM]

With so many claiming to be str8 I believe that the " I think about having sex with a man" thingy is more a product of the "Pink fog" notion.. Girls have sex with men, so in order to be more "girl like" ( for some maybe even a lot) it makes sense. Nothing wrong with that.......... I am guessing that it adds to the allure. Does thinking about it make you gay or even bi? I think not.

I am all for the try it you might like it option, but it's not a stretch for me because I like it.. You just need to keep in mind that when you get down to brass tacks and the clothes come off, the fantasy may well disappear qiuckly, but on the other hand.. it's just sex.. it washes off :lol2:
Kel

Yup, that's what happened to me. I went to a gay bar at 21 "to find out". And it turned out, my illusion didn't fit. I don't like guys when I'm a guy. If I can't keep the fem illusion going, I get turned off. Course, if I stay dressed, and the guy needs his satisfaction, I could go there. I think it's another attempt to feel like a woman. Nothing gay/bi about it.

[Celeste]

Separate fantasy from your conscious feelings,only you know where you lie in that spectrum,then again realise your dealing with a human being ,not a gender.Then be receptive from that point of understanding.

[nicoletta_cd]

the more i get into nikki, the more i think about men. i cant help it. i thought i was straight before, now i just hope i am bi. next thing you know, it will be men only for me! haha:daydreaming:

[Dana]

I love dressing up but i'm in the closet. Dressing up makes me feel good and relaxed, but it also turns me on sexually, and I would love to go out dressed, but I don't think I can pull it off. I'm a straight man and I love women, but sometimes I get curious and think of what it would be like, to be with a man fully dressed up. So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

I could go into great detail of the mathematics of this (permutations and such) ~ but to keep it simple?

Think Rubik Cube.

Your more than likely not gay nor even bi-sexual but your attraction to such is an extension of your inner feminine self.

That is to say your not so much interested in having gay-on-gay sex with men, nor that your TS, nor that your necessarily gay or bi ~ but you would desire to be the female ~

In other words its a manifestation of your nee and desire to express your feminity.

Its part of the "fantasy world" and that's for the most part where it needs to stay! In "Wonderland"

[Dana]

Separate fantasy from your conscious feelings,only you know where you lie in that spectrum,then again realise your dealing with a human being ,not a gender.Then be receptive from that point of understanding.

Well said and well put!

[Sarah_GG]

I wonder if there must be an awful lot of sexuality denial going on for lots of crossdressers.

I really don't understand how you can suddenly experience 'gay' or 'bi-curious' feelings just because you're wearing women's clothes? Surely you're either gay or bi-sexual whatever you're wearing?

To badly (because I can't remember it exactly) paraphrase a response I once read on here... if you were dressed as bugs bunny would you suddenly be into bestiality?

:eek:

[Anneliese]

I am attracted to long hair, a pretty face, personality (of course), and, above all, an ample, well-shaped ass. Although I've only experienced women, I honestly don't care what's between someone's legs. Because I have only fantasized about male parts, I have to admit I'm curious. I might try it and dislike it, but somehow I doubt that would happen. A standard guy with a flat ass does absolutely nothing for me, but a beautiful man, CD, TS, etc., with a fine booty is something I want to experience before I die. Kissing is great, and I would want to try both top and bottom.

p.s. I thought Jaye Davidson in "The Crying Game" and John Cameron Mitchell in "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", when wearing subtle make-up, were hot beyond belief. I saw the stage version of La Cage once, and one of the actors...a guy dressed, of course...was, without question, hotter than any woman I have ever seen in my life.

[willowgurl]

I guess I'm the exception to the rule. I had the feelings you're talking about when I first started dressing. So I tried guys and absolutely found myself. I am now a confirmed gay crossdresser and I enjoy life soooooooooo much. Willow

[gwenglam]

Its normal to feel this way.. I'm bi myself and i know it.. although I don't think I could have a real meaningful relationship with a guy i am still attracted to them as well as women.

[donninacd]

Here's my take on what make a guy dressed seem hotter than a women to some. Both can dress hot, but we probably think the guy is more likely to put out.

That being said, I was bisexual before I started dressing, though primarily interested in women for relationships and men for sex only. And now that I've started dressing, I'm definitely interested in sex with other CDs.

I am what I am and I'm not going to question it too much.

[Donnadcd]

For now, I find myself more and more intrigued by the thought of making love to a man, whether dressed or not - being dressed would be the the icing on the cake. In the future I am ultimately looking to transition

[docrobbysherry]

Many CDs live in a "fantasy" world to begin with! Is it any wonder when it moves into their sex lives, too?

Welcome to MY world, girls!:devil:

I created Sherry because she's the girl(s) of my dreams! She currently satisfies me better than anyone else I could IMAGINE!:o

But, how many of the REST of u can adequately satisfy yourselves?:brolleyes:

Seems natural to me, that dressing/fem fantasies could lead to ALL SORTS of sexual fantasies!:D

If you're brave enuff to take your fem fantasies out in public, then why not try out your sexual fantasies also? If the opportunity presents itself?:)

[cassier]

I love dressing up but i'm in the closet. Dressing up makes me feel good and relaxed, but it also turns me on sexually, and I would love to go out dressed, but I don't think I can pull it off. I'm a straight man and I love women, but sometimes I get curious and think of what it would be like, to be with a man fully dressed up. So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

I feel exactly as you do. I know that I can not go out. But I love wearing lingerie and it makes me feel so good. I often wonder about having sex with another man. Given the right moment, I know that I could. I certainly don't think you are crazy. You are just normal. Cassie

[rhiannon636]

Rochelle you have just described me exactly. i feel exactly the same. i would love to try being with a man but dont know anyone/too scared and i would love to go out dressed but too scared/wouldnt pass lol. so you are def not crazy there are many others who feel the same. if only other people would be as accepting as people on here so we could explore our personalities and be open about it. :)

[Kristi Moore]

Along the lines of this discussion, I'm sure like some of you I struggle to live in both personas. I as of now have no desire to be full time and on the flip definitely desire to date men and explore as well as woman. Makes it confusing and tough to be in both worlds or at least be open about it!!! Thank god for my therapist. My fear is meeting a woman and having these feelings of wanting to be Kristi as well. In addition I think if I meet the right woman this will fade though I know that not to be true. Or am at least now accepting it. Phew I need a bubble bath.

[charlotte_sp]

I wonder if there must be an awful lot of sexuality denial going on for lots of crossdressers.

I really don't understand how you can suddenly experience 'gay' or 'bi-curious' feelings just because you're wearing women's clothes? Surely you're either gay or bi-sexual whatever you're wearing?

I think this is one of the hardest things to understand about crossdressers/transgender, so I hope I can help shed some light.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things.
The OP and some others in this thread, including myself, seem to be sexually attracted to females all the time.
You could say we are consistently heterosexual in that sense.
When en femme, we want to engage in (stereo)typically feminine behavior to match our female gender identity.
For some of us, the desire is strong enough to override our "heterosexuality."
When not dressed, we behave like males, so the default sexual orientation takes over again.

There is no suddenness to it either.
When considering how we'll act as a female, we'll consider sex with other men.
However, when we think about ourselves as men, we never consider it.

I think the distinction doesn't really matter to the rest of the world, so "heterosexual as men and bisexual en femme" is in my opinion close enough.
Please keep in mind that not all crossdressers feel this way.
Some are never attracted to men, some are bisexual in both modes, and probably all the other permutations as well.

It's hard to find a good analogue for heterosexuals which is probably the reason for this misunderstanding.
One way to think of it is that you behave differently depending on your current social context.
Being en femme is such a drastic context switch that it causes these kinds of "strange" behavioral differences.

Here are some examples that I hope will help:

1. A woman is celebrating something with her friends, so they go dancing at a club.
When a hot guy starts dry humping her, she's like "wtf, mate?"
Does that make her celibate or a lesbian? Of course not.
She's just not in the frame of mind for sex with some dude.

Maybe later at a singles' night, the same woman in the same club is on her own, and she's on the prowl.

2. There are situations where you act very differently depending on your social role. I don't want to generalize too much here, but typically people will act in radically different ways in different settings. Do people always act the same in these situations?

a. with family
b. with friends
c. at work/with co-workers
d. with extended family

Think of someone you know who maybe has disapproving in-laws, a strict religious upbringing, or something of that nature.
They'll tread lightly in the strict environment, but they'll let loose with their friends.

Anyways, I meant for this to be bullet points, but it turned into a novel, so sorry for that.

[firefightermedic98]

i understand where you r i am in the same boat i love to dress and love to have my girl to make love to me as a man.

[AmandaM]

I wonder if there must be an awful lot of sexuality denial going on for lots of crossdressers.

I really don't understand how you can suddenly experience 'gay' or 'bi-curious' feelings just because you're wearing women's clothes? Surely you're either gay or bi-sexual whatever you're wearing?


It's not just because we're wearing the clothes. We "become" females. We have our own internal narcicistic magical powers that make us women. Without this power to "feel like women", we would be men in dresses, and that doesn't do anything for my libido. Bi or Gay when dressed, is too simplistic. It explains desire for the same sex, not desire for the same sex if I become the opposite sex. As I've said in other posts, I believe that some on the gender spectrum contain an inner female sexual desire as well as identity. I think this feeling may be stronger in TS's than CD'ers. I believe that TS's who have this strongly, probably switch to guys after the sex change. But, so far, science does not recognize this hypothetical. At least I've never heard anything about it.

[eluuzion]

So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

Ok, first of all, you are terrible at addition, lol. (you asked three questions). Good news is that most gay people are good at addition, so you are probably not gay. Bad news is that you dress up for sexual gratification, which could make you go blind if you don't stop playing around with yourself. And getting turned on by male genitals without having the slightest bit of attraction to the physical, emotional or romantic aspects of a "male" is not unusual. Many males have similar drives. I happen to be one of them. That is the good news. The bad news is that you are like me...and I AM crazy. sorry bout' dat'...:love:

remember...if the world did not suck...we would all fall off.
:hugs:

[Anneliese]

I've never been with a man, but I am also one who is turned on by the thought of the nether region(s), without any kind of turn-on from the rest of the male form. That's why I AM turned on by the thought of a passable CD or TS. The best of both worlds, so to speak. That's why I thought "You fool!" when the rejection came in "The Crying Game", and why I felt the same way when Tommy Gnosis rejects Hedwig. (with whatever she had to work with) In both cases, I thought, "I would go for it...without question". If I ever experience male parts, CS/TS/Bi/gay, I envision being both top and bottom. I can't imagine only wanting to be one or the other.

[Simply_Vanessa]

After tonight, I dont even think I am bisexual anymore! For some reason no matter how much I fight it, I just prefer men over women everytime. Oh well..off to the gender therapist, for me! :heehee: