Lgbt

[katieblush]

Hi, i am sooo angry with the LGB,T community at the moment in my area,since coming out as trans the most grief to present has been from visits to my local pub a LGB "T" pub,i have been treated by the locals in there as a joke basically they act like children,the staff are great but have to warn people to chill,now i have the attitude "stuff them; i belong as much as they do,but to be treated as a lower form of life by the very people who should know better is quite upsetting,and i have had a better time so far with the general public which has surprised me,that i did not expect.

With all of the things happening in life at the moment i had the foolish idea that this maybe one place i could go and chill for a few hours,but alas not.

So will i continue going there after transition? i do not think so infact i may just stay away from that side of trans life,which is a shame.

Maybe i have been naive in my thinking there is acceptance out there ,i do not wish for all to like me,as being trans i am not special,far from it,but this has been a on going slap in the face for me.:Angry3:

[Rianna Humble]

Katie, I'm so sorry you have had to experience this. It is a sad fact that many in the very community which ought to understand us just wish that we would be the silent T in LGB. Mind you, I suppose it is easier to understand a bloke who likes blokes, a girl who likes girls or either who like both than to understand someone who is born in the wrong body. Which does not make their behaviour any less hurtful and thoughtless.

My only concern with what you have written is where you say


will I continue going there after transition? I do not think so in fact I may just stay away from that side of trans life, which is a shame.

I understand you not wanting to get involved with your local LGB (let's pretend there's no) T community, but to stay away from a side of trans life? Isn't that letting them win?

Also, I know that when I transition, if I can do anything to make it easier on someone coming after me, I will want to do that. And if it means going somewhere with a trans brother or sister to show solidarity, then so be it. But that is me and I don't pretend that everyone should have the same outlook .

[Froggy's Angel]

Wow! Where do you live (you don't have to be specific)?

I am astounded. The LGBT groups that I am a member of and volunteer for are great with all 4 parts of our community.
We were told that our cause (the "gay" cause) would get a lot more support from the "straight world" if we would "drop" the "T" part of our community.
We told them in no uncertain terms that that would NEVER happen! :Angry3:

I know in the past, like WAY past, gay guys didn't really like Lesbians, and that eventually changed.
And I remember when I first came out as Bisexual I had people with in the LGBT community tell me that I was just "confused" and "selfish" and "greedy" and that I needed to "make up my mind".

And now, from what you are saying and from what some people suggested, as I mentioned above, it would appear that it is time for the Trans community to make there stand with in the LGBT.

Please do not let this dissuade you, let it empower you. :love:
Tell them to go to hell, or better yet remind them of who THEY are and where THEY came from.
It is unacceptable and I hope that it will change, sooner rather than later.

[katieblush]

Katie, I'm so sorry you have had to experience this. It is a sad fact that many in the very community which ought to understand us just wish that we would be the silent T in LGB. Mind you, I suppose it is easier to understand a bloke who likes blokes, a girl who likes girls or either who like both than to understand someone who is born in the wrong body. Which does not make their behaviour any less hurtful and thoughtless.

My only concern with what you have written is where you say



I understand you not wanting to get involved with your local LGB (let's pretend there's no) T community, but to stay away from a side of trans life? Isn't that letting them win?

Also, I know that when I transition, if I can do anything to make it easier on someone coming after me, I will want to do that. And if it means going somewhere with a trans brother or sister to show solidarity, then so be it. But that is me and I don't pretend that everyone should have the same outlook .

Hiya Rianna, yours views are understood my friend :hugs:

As to "solidarity" i find that illusive in the LGB T community and well it may as well be at the end of the Rainbow,and if i upset people then so be it,i say it as i find it.

If i can help someone who needs support then i will,but it seems to me most and i say most people are so hung up on there own journey we at the beginning of our journey have to start afresh going through the same pain as everyone else at the beginning of coming out,time after time,when some guidance would prevent some of the frustration and anxiety caused around this period.

As for helping the TG community i am in the process of doing just that,i am awaiting a job position that will in a short time give me i hope the chance to help and change peoples ideas,or at least help those Trans folk left in the wilderness.

The LGB community i do not find accepting and i am not going to kid myself things will change with them soon,i have gone into that community with respect for the people there,but that has to work both ways,and its going to take a long time before i give my loyalty to this area again.

[katieblush]

"Please do not let this dissuade you, let it empower you.
Tell them to go to hell, or better yet remind them of who THEY are and where THEY came from.
It is unacceptable and I hope that it will change, sooner rather than later"

Wow you go girl lol,i like your style,i am from the UK :hugs:

[Fab Karen]

There are TG people who act the same way towards gay people. So there are rotten apples in both camps. Don't judge an entire group by individuals. You don't always find the greatest people in bars anyway.

[Sophie_C]

The 'T' side has been effectively screwed over by the LGB community. Granted that some people are beyond it, do people forget that the trans community was once dropped by the ENDA bill, which far more trans people are fired for being who they are than anyone from the community? Has anyone ever been closeted around gay people and seen their reaction to the trans community? They laugh at us, consider us to be "bringing them down" and then pretend like they didn't say a word, when coming to our faces. They utterly forget that Stonewall, their ground zero, was primarily stood up for by the trans community, in numbers FAR larger than the GLB community in the same bar that one day. Anyway, this doesn't shock me one bit...

[Froggy's Angel]

It really is unfortunate. :sad:
We have so much hatred and judgment against us as a community (the LGBT) the last thing we need is hatred and bickering amongst ourselves.
I will never ever understand one minority judging or hating on another minority.
It makes no sense, it goes against logic.
We need to be fighting together, that is the only way to accomplish anything, like Stonewall.
We have to be united to fight Don't Ask, Don't Tell and to perfect ENDA. If we are ever going to get equal protection and rights we have to not be hateful towards each other.

Anyway, sorry, that is all stuff that the organizations I work with are TRYING to accomplish right now.
I know there are going to be bigots out there, they come from all walks of life, but don't let yourself sink to their level is all I was saying :)

[ReineD]

Just goes to show that so many individuals have a limited ability to understand and empathize with people who are different than they are. Whether it is in the LGBT community or not. I wonder what it would take to change things across all genders, religions, political parties, cultures, and ethnic groups.

[Lorileah]

Haven't had this discussion in ages! But here is my thoughts.

we don't help the L&G community (the Bi s just window dressing because who ever even heard of "Bi" rights? When you are bi you are essentially just a kinky straight). The T's here seem to reinforce this with "I am not gay" attached to every post from how to put on shoes to describing their fantasies of being with a man. So how can expect a group to support us when we turn around and dis them by saying we don't want to be a part of their club?

Trans people are not really "gay". (wow there's an oxymoron...I just said we should support them...then I say we aren't "them"). Gay men like men not men in dresses. Gay women like women not men in dresses. So when you visit a L&G club, they really don't see you as a person who is part of them. Face it why do most people go to clubs? To hook up with someone. You are not that someone. Maybe post-op you can hook up with a lesbian?

and finally my biggest pet peeve, they laugh at you because for ...well forever, trans people have been shown as someone to laugh at. We all know (now before I get flamed here this is all sarcasm ok?) that transpeople are jokes, jesters, clowns, over exaggerations of whatever gender we present. That is the gay community (see paragraph above) where drag queens are just that; entertainment. Then they take off the grease paint and they are...gay guys! That is how the live most their lives as gay guys...overtly effeminate maybe, but guys.

So what should we do? After your transition you will be in effect on the market as a woman so any club will work. For now, you can go to those clubs. You will probably be just as accepted there as the gay club, maybe even more so, if you present as a woman.

Or we try to join in with gay community as part of the community (not sexually) but as people who fight for the same rights.

Or, we keep status quo. We hide in the closet and complain that no one accepts us. We have ridden the coat tails of the gay pride movement for 40 years. They took us under their wings and we quietly let them do all the work to get rights and when things were tough the "T" community hid away.

Sorry you were treated badly at that bar. It really doesn't represent the majority of gay bars. Gay bars tend to have a live and let live attitude and accept everyone as long as you are polite and friendly

[Froggy's Angel]

we don't help the L&G community (the Bi s just window dressing because who ever even heard of "Bi" rights? When you are bi you are essentially just a kinky straight).

OMG! Up until later in your post where you said you were being sarcastic, I was getting so angry! I was getting teary eyed and my hands were shaking! :eek:

I am so glad you were using extremes and sarcasm to illustrate your points, and you are right there are people out there, unfortunately, that think that way.
And I don't mean just think that way about bisexual people, I mean the whole post. :)

[Fab Karen]

Yep, sometimes Ms. Lorileah coats her commentary in a glaze of sarcasm, with a hint of spice. Bisexuals are as kinky as the next person, whether straight, gay, etc.
Can't we all just bang a gong, get it on?

[Katesback]

While the LGBT community might be a safe place (so to say) if you are REALLY a transsexual woman you will at some point realize that you do not belong there!

Now if you are Lesbian then you might at some point belong in the lesbian community but I tell you one thing. The lesbian community is in my opinion the ULTIMATE test of ACCEPTANCE in society. AS I always say society really does not care if you are trans and they basically will tolerate you but ACCEPT is a whole new story. The lesbian community is VERY critical of guys pretending to be girls. You have to have your ducks in a row if you are going to be ACCEPTED by the lesbians!

KAtie