Emotions

[Ranma]

Has anyone ever felt that any of the emotions you feel are diminished or almost non-existent. I don't mean that I feel nothing at all but i just remember that when i was younger I use to be far more emotional but my dad and other members of my family used to belittle me and sometimes just punish me for being what they called too emotional. So of course I tried to be more like my dad thought I should be which for him was tough and marine like being he was a ex-marine. I don't know I may be just imagining things but I have felt that for awhile that I receive my feelings after they have been filtered. If there is a block or filter any ideas on how to break it? Has anyone else felt this way, or am I just being dumb?

[Andy66]

Good subject, Ranma. Yes, I feel the same way, especially about romantic relationships unfortunately. BUT... for some reason I shed tears much more easily than when I was a kid - at the drop of a hat, when I'm sad, happy, frustrated etc. Even when logically I know I should not be crying over something so minor. It's like the emotion and the reaction don't match. Kind of embarrassing really. Guess I have a lot pent up inside, or overactive hormones. :hugs:

[kimdl93]

I'd like to offer two observations. first, I would think that most people become less emotional - in the sense of less prone to emotional outbursts - as we mature. That doesn't mean that you stop feeling, but means that you learn to control and channel emotions more constructively. Second, if you mean you don't feel things - feel numb or indifferent, or lacking in enthusiasm for life - that's another matter and can be a characteristic of depression. If you're feeling listless, numb, or detached you may be suffering from depressive illness. Third, I don't buy the idea that to be feminine is to be "emotional". Many of the women I admire in life are as tough as any old marine. Women are thought to be more emotionally intelligent - more tuned to the feelings of others. That doesn't mean they react emotionally...they're just capable of putting themselves in another's shoes.

[sissystephanie]

I have been emotional all my life! When I was young I wound up getting into a lot of fights because of my emotions. I would cry rather easily, and then would get picked on. Usually it was the other person who really got hurt, because I was one of the biggest boys in school. And when I really got mad, I did not know pain!! But I sure knew how to give it!

Now I am much more gentle, part of which is probably caused by my advanced age! But part of that gentleness is probably also caused by the fact that I have a strong feminine side!! I have no complaints!! Nor did my dear late wife!!

[Renee_E]

I was forever told to quit showing my emotions because boys don't do that. If I wanted to express how I felt about something I was told that I should keep my feelings to myself or I shouldn't feel that way. I learned to hide how I felt pretty good until I met my wife. She managed to open me up before I exploded.

Can't say I have turned it all around but, I am getting better at showing my emotions and expressing my feelings. I like me better this way.

[Ashley S]

I feel the same way...diminished or non-existent seems to sum it up pretty well.

I also used to be more emotional as a child, but hardened up for the same reasons...Boys aren't supposed to be so emotional...Boys don't cry...or, my personal "favorite"...The world doesn't give a rat's ass about your problems, so deal with it!

I can't count how many times I heard those things growing up, but by the time I was about 13 or 14, I was already distant and emotionless. Hardened against the world.

But I think I've developed problems with depression and anxiety, and need to speak to a professional about it. But I've lived with the hollow feeling since my early teens.

[midnighter03]

My wife and some of my friends constantly remind me that I am too emotional. I want to find a way to turn that off.

[charlie]

I'm afraid that I'm like Sissystephanie. I've been emotional all my life. I cry when the family pet dies, cry at chick flicks, sniffle at sad stories, try to be an emotional crutch for my friends in need. I have always been that way. No reduction or addition just because I dress...just is me.

[AKAMichelle]

That mentality of always being tough causes what you are describing. I turned off my emotions for a number of years until I was married 26 years ago. I still do it some, but I have broken through the barrier and reached the other side where I can be me. Hiding your true self will cause those feelings as well.

Hope you get past this and I know it is bothering you a lot.

[nikkijo]

over emotional yes... blocked.. i wish..

[hopingsecret]

Well it has been established that all people lose what is called "emotional fidelity" as they get older. I know I have always been emotionally over-charged. So I kind of look forward to becoming less emotional. However, emotions are like drugs in a way. When you're used to a certain "high" when a low comes, even if it's not that low, it can feel much worse than it really is.

[PortiaHoney]

Buried my emotions as a kid. Controlled them for years, or at least tried to. Now I have given myself permission to actually feel, I am working hard to find where I buried them.

:love:

[Sophie_C]

Yeah, being raised as a boy, most people (especially fathers) pretty much kill your emotions, since that's not what "boys" do. It's really twisted, since emotion is fundamental to human nature. It doesn't take two brain cells to realize that, but most people simply don't...

[Jonianne]

For many of us, it's so hard to feel free enough to give ourselves permission to feel and express our emotions. For me, it took finding a safe place and safe people (when I learned to trust my therapy group) to be able to find my emotions. It's pealing the layers off, one by one, untill you get there and boy, when you do, be prepared, they will come out - and it's eventually, a wonderful feeling! The relief feels so good, even when it's sadness that is coming out and being heard.

You can do it on your own, but you must force yourself to focus on areas of your life that you have not allowed yourself to revisit, because of the pain. It's best not to do it alone, however, because if the pain is so much, there will be a lot of anger that you will have to work through and the depression could get much worse before it gets better. If you are really concern about not being able to express emotions, see a professional therapist, just like you would see a doctor if you had a physical need.


Yeah, being raised as a boy, most people (especially fathers) pretty much kill your emotions, since that's not what "boys" do. It's really twisted, since emotion is fundamental to human nature. It doesn't take two brain cells to realize that, but most people simply don't...

The therapy group I was in was mostly women (men don't tend to seek help) and most of them were there because of the same reason, they were not allowed, as children, to express their emotions either.