"Looking for a gift for wife"..and my reaction..

[Marissa]

Today I was shopping at Wet Seal at the mall.. so many nice outfits and on sale.. i was in drab.. was asked by at least two fem SAs "need help?".."no, just looking..thank you"

Then one of the same fems ask "Are you looking for something for your wife?"

I barked "No, i'm not!"

Boy, did i feel like an ass.. so i continued looking..and then i saw her near me and i said "i'm sorry for barking at ya, that was wrong of me"

She accepted my apology and then gave me advice on jewelry to match, etc..

Have you ever felt this sense of frustration when shopping?

Its not correct to act like I did, so i'm just asking has it ever bothered you to be asked this question?

Hugs,

[Cassandra Lynn]

Yeah, somewhat, i wish they would leave it at "let me know if i can help", or something of the sort. I get that they are just trying to be helpful, but sometimes we would rather be left to our selves. I personally would prefer one to say something along the lines of "anything at all i can help you with", kind of a hint that you are free to feel at ease and will be attended to just like ANY customer. mj (Cassie)

[NathalieX66]

I've had it happen many times. In most cases no one ever asks if it's for my wife. I refuse to play games (seriously....who am I fooling?)

The sales staff, I found, don't change their attitude when I come to the counter with panties, sheer stockings, bustiers, etc (htough they do express their enthusiasm for such things....that's the joy of thinking the way females do).

I'm at the point now where I don't care what salespeople think when I purchase something. In most cases, neither do they. If it's a pink satin bra with flowery sheer lace, and I'm standing in a line full of women and their husbands/BFs before the cash register, no one cares. However I am greatly amused at the amount of men who display discomfort & embarrassment when their wives/BF's drag them into a place like Victoria's Secret.

As for me, I am now at the stage where I have used dressing rooms while en femme at places like Macy's, Dress Barn & New York & Co.....that's a whole another level really.
The upside to that is you get good service, clothes that fit...and no one mistakes your true intentions.

[Marissa]

Thanks Cassie and Nathalie for the responses..

I had no problem going to VS with SO (at the time), even in drab as I let them assume what they want..

I was so in the clouds when i was shopping at Hot Topic, looking for a corset top and the SO "so is this for a gf or you?".."..uhh me".."cool, want to try it on?"

yep cloud nine.

other times, I had to just say it was for me..

something just triggered my mood today.. but felt bad about it all..

Hugs,

[Andy66]

It was nice of you to apolgize. Sales associates get plenty of customers who are worse than that - people who are deliberate jerks or are never happy no matter what. No need to beat yourself up over this.

Being a GG, I sometimes get the other side of the coin. I've gotten into arguments with hardware store clerks and auto parts salesmen because some of them seem to think I'm stupid.

Hooray for everyone here who dares to challenge traditional gender roles!

[Marissa]

It was nice of you to apolgize. Sales associates get plenty of customers who are worse than that - people who are deliberate jerks or are never happy no matter what. No need to beat yourself up over this.

Being a GG, I sometimes get the other side of the coin. I've gotten into arguments with hardware store clerks and auto parts salesmen because some of them seem to think I'm stupid.

Hooray for everyone here who dares to challenge traditional gender roles!

Wow, i'm getting good..a comment from a GG..whooohooo.. lol..ok..sorry..

Thank you for the comment.. and yes i understand.. how are they suppose to know.. so that is why i felt like shit.. uhhh crap.. lol

Hugs,

[Presh GG]

Marrisa,
You did good, saying you're sorry.
I've worked retail before and my tone was always we're in this together [ with my customers ]

Today Tea and I were shopping for makeup [ tea in drab] and I couldn't stop saying " she" . SA was very pro. even helping with provideing coupons. Makes a big differance doesn't it ?

Presh GG

[t-girlxsophie]

Anytime iv'e been asked this question by a SA,and I have answered "no,its for me" they have never believed me.I didn't think it was that unbelievable:doh::D

[Deborah Jane]

Don't feel so bad Marissa, I've heard far worse from people aimed at SAs while out shopping and at least you apologised, most don't :sad:


Anytime iv'e been asked this question by a SA,and I have answered "no,its for me" they have never believed me.I didn't think it was that unbelievable:doh::D

I've had the same thing, even when I'm honest with them and tell them it's for me, they don't believe me :sad:

[Loni]

i have never lost my cool in a store...but then the sa rarely ask me anyhow.
but they have never batter a eye no mater what i put on the counter to buy....but one did hand the bag of panties to my mom one day. mom then just handed it to me. (i was in drab).


.

[DonnaT]

Note that it can get boring working as an SA, so they will want to interact with customers.

Plus some stores want to make sure their SAs are working, and it gets noted. Ever been asked at the register, "did anyone help you?"

If the "just looking" line doesn't send them away, then ask them "does this suit me?" They'll either leave you alone, or be quite helpful.

[sandra-leigh]

These days I do not get asked very often if I am shopping for my wife, but it does seem mildly annoying when it does happen.

A few days ago I was shopping for bras for myself in La Senza (Canadian chain now owned by Victoria's Secret) and I asked about the style I wanted, and when I was asked about the size, I said clearly that I wasn't sure whether I was 38A or 38B as I haven't been measured recently; the SA checked but could not find anything in my size, and showed me over to another section with a different style and asked me whether that style would be okay for "her" (meaning a hypothetical woman she thought I was buying for.) I noticed but I didn't bother objecting, I just said that No, I was specifically looking for the other style. I got the impression that the SA I was dealing with was a bit uneasy with the idea that I was shopping for myself (in stealth clothes), and had sort of mentally redirected what I was doing to avoid thinking about it. 5 minutes later or so I asked to try on a couple of bras, which was not a problem at all to the other SA that I asked.

[sissystephanie]

I don't remember ever having a bad expeience while shopping for enfemme things. One reason is probably because I almost always tell the SA's that I am shopping for my self, regardless of how I am dressed. Since I have been shopping for about 60 years, nothing bothers me anymore!

[Marissa]

Thank you all, girls, for the replies.. so varied of experiences and yes i can see i'm not the only one..

Just to add, I was surprised at my reaction so I still ponder why i reacted like that. Think it was some battle scares from when I did shop for the ex.. :confused:

dang...back to couch again.. "so how was your relationship with your mother???" :heehee::lol:

Hugs,

[crossdrezzer1]

no reason to bark at them at all,,, I have been in a womens shop and none have asked me for help at all,,, they was doing there job well and they should be rewarded for it,,,, hate when they think a man alone wont buy since he doesnt wear,,little do they know,,, just adore when they help,, mostly I dont out myself but think they know,,just waiting for them to ask,,

[sandra-leigh]

hate when they think a man alone wont buy since he doesnt wear,,little do they know

Men that do buy tend to spend more than the average woman, because they tend to buy the more luxary items (e.g., baby dolls) rather than the more practical mass-market lower-profit items.

[rickibarr]

I appreciate if they ask me but really appreciate the "if you want some help, please don't hesitate to ask" type of help. Unless I am in a hurry or find the store confusing, I appreciate being left to my own devices.

Of course, if the sales associate gives you his/her name, that is a nice touch - and as per a previous comment, you can answer at the register as to who assisted you.

[pamwow]

I appreciate if they ask me but really appreciate the "if you want some help, please don't hesitate to ask" type of help. Unless I am in a hurry or find the store confusing, I appreciate being left to my own devices.

Of course, if the sales associate gives you his/her name, that is a nice touch - and as per a previous comment, you can answer at the register as to who assisted you.

Thank You so much for the Great Advice and will surely be of great use for me.:love:

[Marissa]

I'm so happy to see that this simple question would help others when shopping..that is so nice.. and its all cause of the replies.. thank you girls..

i don't bark at all the SAs, just this once.. that is why i was surprised of my reaction..

I do appreciate when an SA asks if I need any help, etc.. so i would not want to turn that away..and yes, when they say their name, its a very nice touch..

Hugs,

[Stephenie S]

There seems to be some confusion here about the job of a SA. They are there to HELP you. USE THEM! They are professionals. This is what they do for a living. Most of them are good at it. You seem to assume that the SA is there just to annoy you. Not so. They are there to HELP and that is what they want to do when they approach you and say, "May I help you?"

The next time you get asked, "May I help you?", say YES. Then tell them what you are looking for and why. You will find that she will be a GREAT help. They know what they are doing. Really. They do. They know the store stock, they know what clothing co-ordinates well. They know sizing. Buying a new bra or buying a whole outfit, a SA can be a wonderful help. Honest. I know what I'm talking about.

Don't try to shop by yourself. SA are there for a reason. Shopping is FUN. Interacting with a SA who knows her stuff is FUN. Gradually you will get to know various SAs in different stores. Eventually you will walk into a store and be welcomed by name. IT'S FUN! Really!!! Sulking around be yourself is a waste of a valuable resource. Next time tell that SA "YES. Yes, you CAN help me".

Stephie

[joyce483]

Did any of the sales staff call you HON!!