got screwed

[MrKunk]

okay long story short, I told some of my co workers on Wednesday about being a tg and a cd, so I get a call on Thursday about how it can be percieved as sexual harrasment. Needless to say one of our co workers wasn't there and asked why one of the guys on our crew was having problems with me, and I told the guy the truth about the problem. Well I was told that company policy was to send me home and I am on strike two which I will most likely be dealing with on Monday morning.

[AriannaVillota]

=\

I hope that you don't end up losing your job. I don't think I could tell anyone at work.

[docrobbysherry]

I thot your post was going to be about SEX!:D And, so it is! But, NOT the FUN KIND!:sad:

I'm sorry, Mr K! I hope your company sees the lite, and moves into the 21st century on your behalf!:thumbsup:

[Marissa]

Sorry for you delimas at work but depends on how you stated it, it can be viewed as harrassment..not that i'm an expert, but when you start talking about things in sexual nature..such as I like guys but not girls, etc..if anyone feels like its out of place,well there you go...that is enough to bring the stormtroopers in..

hope it works out for ya.. i do..but next time..take it slow and know who your friends are.. unless you are doing the whole cross over and share that with the boss..that is a whole another trail..

Hugs,

[NathalieX66]

*Discretion is advised*
In some cases, DADT is the best policy, thought it's not my favorite policy.

I work with company of 15, and we have one employee who is lesbian, and shows up at our company parties & my boss' bbq's with her partner, and we (every single one of us) all love her& her SO to death. She gets to be out but I don't. But as a publically-out CD'er, I keep my life private & separate frorm work....do you tell your superiors your bedroom secrets? Do you let thm know that you like showing up at X place wearing a dress and heels?
I am not a transsexual, therefore no special arrangements in the workplace are needed. My company(which is family-owned), as much as I love them, are still too simple-minded to grasp what TG is really about.

[Presh GG]

Better do some serious reserch this weekend about the laws in your area. Be prepared but not confrontational come Monday.

I know, you are young, be more careful next time, any chance you can back paddle to educate as opposed to statements that can be taken wrong or as come-ons?

Am I reading too much into your short post ?
I wish you the best to keep this off your record as the working world is complicated.
Presh GG

[t-girlxsophie]

Most of my shift know I dress,and I have never had any problems of this sort.I think your company are playing silly buggers.Or are they stuck in the dark ages.

And I think some ppl aren't happy unless their Offended by something.sexual harrasment Yeah Right! I hope everything works out ok for you.

[Loni]

yes spend all weekend researching the laws for this and in your area. even in other states for any court findings along this line.

but be ready to loose not mater what way this goes. as some places/people should never know anybody's secrets.

i am a cross dresser not a ts, so my work life and home life must be kept in two different worlds....but even my personal life is split in two...:eek:

i must be many people...so confusing at times.:D

.

[Fab Karen]

It really depends on what exactly you said. If it wasn't sex-talk, then you should talk to a lawyer.

[Ms Jennifer]

:love:Stories like these are what keep most of us in the closet for so long.I hope it turns out well for you.:daydreaming:

[nikkijo]

private business is best to abide by dont ask dont tell.... as if you offend 1 person its harassment or hostile work environment and therefore grounds for dismissal.. so basically u just got strike 3.... i dont ownany guy stuff any more and i openly dress both as a normal guy who just happens to be in a womans jeans.. and no body know to full drag, to apassing as a woman... and am openly out but if another person in a professional environment said to me i am TG and dress in drag ect id be offended because that isnt the place or time to discuss it.... the time and place is after hours, over a beer... off the work site....

[Freddy12]

I certainly hope everything works out well.

Be very careful on Monday. Try this weekend to remember what you said, and write it down so you don't forget. Be contrite, and do not show emotion. It would be good to say that you will never bring up the subject again. Of course others will bring it up, so you will be talking about it fairly often.

[Sara Jessica]

And what were you trying to accomplish in going into full disclosure mode?

Not to revive the discussion on "labels" but this is a place where it could come in handy. You self-identify as tg then immediately go on to say "and a cd". Using these terms as loosely as possible, tg is something you are, part of your being while cd is something you do. I can see how one's presentation can bleed into the workplace to the point where some disclosure might be needed, perhaps no matter how you identify. But if you're a purely cd'er with no transition in mind, why on earth must you feel compelled to let coworkers know? What you do in your private life (ie-cd) is none of their business.

Unfortunately, the bell cannot be un-rung. I wish you luck on Monday.

[Alex!]

It is always best to discuss this formally with your immediate supervisor, rather than colleagues or friends at work. The supervisor must adhere to company policy regarding what to do next, and should be aware of the law. Colleagues may not have the same awareness or sense of responsibility, and it is very likely that telling them will lead to rumors that get out of hand. Further, if you tell your supervisor and that person is the only one you tell, then you have some control over message.

[MrKunk]

Thanks for caring everyone. I am actually on strike 2, so I most likely not be fired.
I will however have to deal with disciplinary actions taken on Monday. It is like
this, the reason the company is taking the position is because they see it as a
sexual preference. I personally see it as a condition we are born with, and
discover slightly before puberty or in puberty. That is where the disagreement is.
This really comes down to view point.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I'm assuming then that it is a small company and has no HR department, HRs are generally kept up to date on the rights of the employee and usually exactly what the empolyers can do, and how they can proceed.
Or put another way if you were to casually say something about what you are to another production worker on the assembly line of Whatever Motor Co., and this employee wigs out about it, you'll have the union and the laws of the USA behind you, smaller mom & pop companies tend to just wing it.
Good luck, especially with the rest of the crew, hope they don't make it rough on you. mj (Cassie)

[Sophie_C]

okay long story short, I told some of my co workers on Wednesday about being a tg and a cd, so I get a call on Thursday about how it can be percieved as sexual harrasment. Needless to say one of our co workers wasn't there and asked why one of the guys on our crew was having problems with me, and I told the guy the truth about the problem. Well I was told that company policy was to send me home and I am on strike two which I will most likely be dealing with on Monday morning.

Until ENDA is passed encompassing T rights, this is utterly possible, just like it used to be possible to fire someone for being gay in most states (many states have laws covering that for now). Keep it in the closet at work unless your company explicitly has, in writing, statements, protecting your rights as a transgendered individual. Unfortunately, that's the only option for many right now. P.S. It is not legally sexual harassment, since gender identity never harassed anyone. Your HR person is an idiot. Still, you can be fired for no reason whatsoever, in most states, so don't think that's a defense in and of itself.

But, do any of us want to deal with the entire hiring / firing process in THIS economy? My company has a gay HR manager and I won't risk it...

[nikkijo]

actually the hr guy is not an idiot, his telling his co workers can create an uncomfortable situation for some that could be construed as a hostile workk environment, which is a fireable offense. and if they see it as something of a sexual nature, then it indeed can be labled as sexual harrasment.

what will probably happen is.... the convo will go like this.... we dont really care what you do in private, but talking about that acction at work can be seen as harassment by some, or create an un comfortable environment for you, or other employees, and we cannot have that and maintain our current standard of productivity and workplace professionalism. therefore this has to be remodied, and since our outlook on this issue is _____________ and our policy states ____________________ diciplinary action will be ___________________.. and the last blank could be a simple conversation on record with the supervisor, to a write up, to suspension, to termination depending on the companies view, range and sevarity of the complaints lodged, and prior work history, and time served...

preaty cut and dry actually...some one complained, therefore it is a problem and a manager cannot have problems and maintain the levels of productivity needed to be profitable and keep the workplace safe and comfortable for ALL parties who work there.

[KarenCDFL]

It sounds to me that one of your co-workers is just being an ignorant "Hater" and most likely has their own issues and they are taking out their hate and fear on you.

What other reason could anyone have to hurt a co-worker like this?

Damn some people just suck.

[abigailf]

Talking about gender and what clothes you wear is NOT sexual harassment. Contrary, you may have an opportunity for a discrimination case. It does not matter what laws are in place, there are already precedent cases to support your cause.

My advice is to be prepared, contact a lawyer and say nothing more about this to anyone (in or out of work, nor on this forum) until the problem is resolved.

As someone else pointed out, it is probably best to pipe up, take your lumps and move one. But be a good girl scout and be prepared; get legal advice.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you are in an "at will employment" state, they can fire you for anything. They may not claim to fire you for "being TG", but they can fire you for anything they want (for being 1 minute late to work one day, for "unsatisfactory performance", leaving litter in the break room, whatever.) If they fire you for being TG, it is completely your burden in court to prove it and unless they do/say something really dumb one can't.

On the other side of the coin, it is a really bad idea to ever tell your coworkers. Unless a coworker is a good friend it is just unnecessary to discuss your personal life with them. As a friend once told me, if they find out you are a crossdresser, it won't help or benefit you in any way shape or form at work, but it sure can be used against you. Don't give anyone ammunition to shoot you in the back.