U say u find dressing, "relaxing". So, WHY then go out dressed?

[docrobbysherry]

One time last year, I dressed up completely and intended to visit a small obscure park to shoot some pics. I got out of the car once to check out the park, it and all the others I visited, had people in them.:thumbsdn:
On the way back home, a cop was rite behind me part of the way!:eek:

The entire trip I was as STRESSED I've EVER BEEN!:doh:
I WON'T be doing that again any time soon!

I dress to relax and have fun! THAT, was NOT FUN!:sad:

So, WHY do so many of u girls want to go out dressed? I DON'T mean girls that r out, or live as women, I mean other CLOSET CDs like me!
What's "relaxing" about going out dressed!?:brolleyes:

[Cheryl T]

Kind of a contradiction there.
"Closet cd's like me" ... if you are in the closet then you don't go out. If you do go out dressed then you are not in the closet.
I admit I used to do the same thing. Sneak out after dark, dress up and walk around some parking lot. Secretly hoping to be seen so I could say I was out, but at the same time not wanting to be discovered. Finally I did dress and go out in the daylight and found out that no one really cared. They were all so busy with their own life that they hardly saw me anyway.
Now I'm out all the time and enjoy being "just another woman".
It was stressful at first, now it's pure joy.

[DonnaT]

Going out the first time, or the first few times, can be scary or it can be exhilerating. You never know until you try.

Why one tries. Being closeted can be like being locked in jail. Most people don't like being locked up.

You need to know why you want to go out in the first place, and determine how important it is to you.

Then you need to confront your fears.

You are not breaking the law. The flag-burning cases of 1989 (Texas v. Johnson) and 1990 (United States v. Eichman), the Supreme Court accepted that non-speech means applied to freedom of expression and freedom of speech. Accordingly, freedom of expression is guaranteed by the First Amendment.

Once you overcome your fears, then going out can be relaxing, when one feels the urge to go out.

[Freddy12]

In my opinion, there are different levels of being "out". I have dressed, and gone out several times. Sometimes, it's just underdressing, sometimes I include female shorts, sometimes including a wig. Is there anyone who knows me as a male who knows I crossdress? No. I don't consider myself "out", although, with the number of things I do while dressed, I'm sure that I will be recognized someday, and then I will be "out".

I can't really say why I go out dressed, but it does give me a thrill.

We are complex. What is relaxing for one is not for someone else.

[PretzelGirl]

Some of it comes down to who you are as a CD/TG/TS/whatever. If I understand you correctly (and correct me if I get it wrong), your enjoyment is primarily based on being Sherry, seeing the woman that you can present as, and creating productions. So I would understand where going out can be negatively stressful for you. Other than maybe the sunlight and fresh air, it may not add much to your experience.

You can call me partially closeted or partially out. But basically I don't want to be confined to a dark room with the shades pulled down. To me, that would confine how I want to express myself.

I have outed myself to a few friends and family members. I want to get out some just for the feeling of freedom and being "Sue" outside of the home. It is kind of a validation that this is who I am and I don't have to completely hide. So you might say, why don't I completely come out? That is a magic question sometimes. I don't want to move fast and I do want to measure how things go as I grow with this. I don't have any inner feelings that are pressing me to go faster. So getting out while "in the closet" is comfortable, fun, exciting, and sometimes nerve racking but in a growing way.

[TxKimberly]

LOL Been there and done that Doc.

Well, in my case, I've never claimed that I do it because it relaxes me - I do it because it fulfills me, pleases me, and makes me happy.

When I first started going out, it scared the hell outta me just as you described and I think that early on, that rush was part of it. The heart pounding, your pulse in your ears, and adrenaline in your veins. Now days though, I am way past that sort of thrill, and I do it just because it makes me happy

[Barbara Jo]

One time last year, I dressed up completely and intended to visit a small obscure park to shoot some pics. I got out of the car once to check out the park, it and all the others I visited, had people in them.:thumbsdn:
On the way back home, a cop was rite behind me part of the way!:eek:

The entire trip I was as STRESSED I've EVER BEEN!:doh:
I WON'T be doing that again any time soon!

I dress to relax and have fun! THAT, was NOT FUN!:sad:

So, WHY do so many of u girls want to go out dressed? I DON'T mean girls that r out, or live as women, I mean other CLOSET CDs like me!
What's "relaxing" about going out dressed!?:brolleyes:

You make a valid observation.
Personallly I never fet completely comfortable out while dressd due to my realatively heavy beard that require heavy makeup even with a very close shave.

Then why do i do it? I simply want to present myself to the world around me as a female dressed in female clothes.

[Shelly Preston]

I would say dressing as a means of relaxation is fine

Going out dressed can also be part of this as its just a different location.
It can still be part of the relaxation no matter where you are as you can just expressing that side of your personality

[Christina Horton]

Well Doc I think it might because you wear a mask and have not want to just wear makeup. Wearing a mask and going out would be much harder cuz you , If someone looks closely , might think your doing something bad? I'm not sure . I have told me in the past that you have tried to do the whole makeup think and you did not like the look cuz you did not come close to pass. Driving around dressed up with or with out your mask would up the stress level in the getting caught thought.

When I go out I don't full pass but that does not bother me and I look forward to going out. If you were just wearing makeup and no mask (witch I know you don't want to do) would after you have done it a few times would be much less stressful and you would love it too.

The stress is only cuz of the newness of the first few times out. After that it's just like going out in drab with the change of your attitude, girly not manly.

So Doc that's just my Opinion there and you might have a difference one cuz you know you.

[Nicole Brown]

LOL Been there and done that Doc.

Well, in my case, I've never claimed that I do it because it relaxes me - I do it because it fulfills me, pleases me, and makes me happy.

When I first started going out, it scared the hell outta me just as you described and I think that early on, that rush was part of it. The heart pounding, your pulse in your ears, and adrenaline in your veins. Now days though, I am way past that sort of thrill, and I do it just because it makes me happy

For me it is everything that Kim said and one more simple fact, it feels so natural and right.

[abigail43]

Yes I find it quite exhilarating to go out as Abigail I do it because I want to show my self off to the world this can have mixed responses but I generally achieve good outcomes and that just encourages me more I love being in the world as Abigail and I like making new friends who take me for who I really am and for who i want to be

[NathalieX66]

Relaxation means being home......that means no one will see you.

I discovered that when I am in public, I am still never relaxed. I have been to grocery stores, Barnes& Boble bookstore, liquor stores, department sores & malls, gas stations, bars & restaurants, and I am puzzled why I never get enough eyes on me. I really don't think I look that good. Yeah, I dress to blend in....and yeah, I'm 5'6" and peoples' TG radar never seems to react (...maybe most folks don;t have one) , but I try so hard to be ice water cool in public even though in the back of my mind I am scared to death. This is still an ongoing development process for me, and I can't wait for the next time I go out in public, so much so that it's killing me. If that's the case, relaxation isn't the proper word, but more like enjoyment . I don't like the word thrill mainly because I am looking for acceptance, not a high.

[Lorileah]

because I should be able to go out right? right? when you get over the idea that you are doing something wrong...and that you really are more relaxed when dressed, it becomes more fun, and you relax more and then you have more fun.

That and I wanted to show off my legs :)

[joyce483]

doc- since you live in southern calif.,I dont think anybody would even notice you walking down the street when you wear those fabulous outfits!!

[AKAMichelle]

It is extremely stressful until you get out of the closet completely and quit worrying about what others think. Your fears caused the stress. Once the fears are conquered then you have time to enjoy the freedom of being you while dressed. It takes cd'ing to a whole new level.

[NicoleScott]

Doc, it's hard for me to accept the idea that cd's dress for the purpose of relaxation. I agree that relaxation may be a by-product of dressing for some, but not a primary reason. For me, I dress for the exciement, and go out for the thrill.
Cheryl T, you said that if you go out, you aren't in the closet. Not to get into a war over definitions (like what people think about what CD, TG and TS mean), but to me, being closeted means that I do not reveal my crossdressing activities with my real, male identity. I go out some and use my femme identity, but still consider myself in the closet.

[Natasha TG]

HI Doc,

I ditto Kimberly's reply to a tee... for me before as a closet CD, it was more of a relaxing state of mind, but then all of a suddenly one day a switch just flicked in my mind and the next day I was out and about. It was nerve racking as H@ll like most CD's that go out for the first time, but I go out to fullfill Natasha and interact with people as a girl.

Like last night and met my good friend and his girlfriend at an MC hammer concert in casino Rama. Mc Hammer asked all the lovely ladies to come to the front of the stage and he handed out roses to the lucky few. I grabbed my best friends girlfriend by the hand and dragged her to the front.

yeah... he gave me a rose... :tongueout .. the full story will be published in the out and about once I get the pics from my friend (lost my camera)! now that was a crazy night, casina, concert, drinking and eating:heehee:

Sorry I did not keep the rose as I gave it to his girlfriend:hugs:

Now if I had never stepped out the front door a year ago, then I would never have had experiences like this...being out and about as Natasha is so much fun, getting exillerating experiences like last night and having MC Hammer gyrate his stuff just 12" away from me... hmmm.. you rock MC hammer...

[Rachel Morley]

I've never claimed that I do it because it relaxes me - I do it because it fulfills me, pleases me, and makes me happy.
I can't do better than this quote. :) Yesterday, I spent the entire day out with my wife and a friend in mainstream places, shopping, going to dinner, then the movies, even going into busy women's bathrooms where I had to line up and I never even flinched. However, I wasn't always this calm and relaxed about being in public. All you gotta do Doc is do more of it. The more you expose yourself to that mainstream environment the easier it becomes to relax within it. :hugs:

[Melinda G]

Depends on where you go. If you want to take some photos, get out in a forest somewhere, where few people go. Stay away from parks. Parks are known hangouts for perverts of every stripe. Nervous parents are quick to call the police on anyone who doesn't look right. As usual, a little common sense goes a long way.

[docrobbysherry]

Some of it comes down to who you are as a CD/TG/TS/whatever. If I understand you correctly (and correct me if I get it wrong), your enjoyment is primarily based on being Sherry, seeing the woman that you can present as, and creating productions. So I would understand where going out can be negatively stressful for you. Other than maybe the sunlight and fresh air, it may not add much to your experience.


Well Doc I think it might because you wear a mask and have not want to just wear makeup. Wearing a mask and going out would be much harder cuz you , If someone looks closely , might think your doing something bad? ---------------Driving around dressed up with or with out your mask would up the stress level in the getting caught thought.

Sue and Christina, u know me too well it seems! :heehee:
Maybe I shouldn't have used myself as the example in my thread. Because I DO have some unique CD issues!:brolleyes: But, I think it's all a matter of degrees. We ALL have, or have had, the same feelings/emotions!:eek:

I've read SO MANY posts about girls going out dressed. Of them feeling apprehensive, or worse! Scared to death! Yet, these same closet girls, have fun, relax, and can dress any crazy way they like at home!
I wondered what motivates THEM to continually think and/or try, to go out!?
So far, I think the replies here r VERY REVEALING!:)



Doc, it's hard for me to accept the idea that cd's dress for the purpose of relaxation. I agree that relaxation may be a by-product of dressing for some, but not a primary reason. For me, I dress for the exciement, and go out for the thrill.
Cheryl T, you said that if you go out, you aren't in the closet. Not to get into a war over definitions (like what people think about what CD, TG and TS mean), but to me, being closeted means that I do not reveal my crossdressing activities with my real, male identity. I go out some and use my femme identity, but still consider myself in the closet.

Thanks for your post, Nicole. And, your "closet" definition! It's "closet" CDs like U that I'm most curious about!:thumbsup:


doc- since you live in southern calif.,I dont think anybody would even notice you walking down the street when you wear those fabulous outfits!!

Joyce, have u been to SoCal lately? Not downtown LA, or Hollyweird, but the 'burbs? Nearly everyone, men AND women, dress in shorts, "T" shirts, and flaps!:brolleyes:

If Sherry went out where I live, she'd be noticed like a cheeta in the sheep pen!:eek:

[NicoleScott]

Thanks for your post, Nicole. And, your "closet" definition! It's "closet" CDs like U that I'm most curious about!:thumbsup:

Doc, it's your question in your original post: why do closeted CD's go out?
I stay in far more than I go out when I dress. And going out has always scared me - so many things that can go awry - but I have also always wanted to venture out. At first, I just wanted to be seen, but after going out and staying in the safe shadows, I wanted more engagement. One of the problems I have going out is that I don't want to tone it down. I could, and blend in better. But I like the over-the-top look in makeup and dress, so going out presents a problem: tone it down and be unhappy with my look, or dress to my preferred style and stay where it's safe. Finally, I went to a TG-friendly club one afternoon in male mode to ask if it was OK to return that evening en femme. It was, and I did, making up and dressing in my preferred over-the-top style. Everyone knew I was CD, and it didn't matter. I had a a great time, was treated very good by staff and guests, and when I got back to my room I said to myself "Wow, I did it!" The desire to go out just overwhelmed my fears. I can't call it relaxing, but very satisfying. I returned several more times before the club closed for good. Rats.

[Sharon B.]

My opinion is this sometimes we just get tired of being in the closet and want to see what the outside world looks like if we go out dressed as a woman.
I have gone for drives dressed completely as a woman and will go to the post office after hours to mail something, yes I could use the drive up box but I like the idea of getting out of my vehicle and walking into the post office.
Other times I will go to mall underdressed as a woman(panties, bra, pantyhose with perfume sprayed on) with a light coat of makeup (foundation, face powder and mascara) and shop for woman's clothes and shoes.
One of these times I will go farther and head to the mall completely dressed as a woman or out to a club as a woman.

[charlie]

Hello Robby!
You obviously go and spend lots of time getting dressed in your outfits and achieve great results (love your outfits and corset work). When you are done, you probably take a few pictures and start getting back undressed in a shorter time then it took you to dress. I got tired of getting all dressed up and having nowhere to go. So I started driving around. Then going to the movies. Then walking on the outside of the mall. Then running through the mall. Now I go to dinner, buy clothes in the mall, and generally act like any other woman when I go out. I like the interaction with people, I like the freedom of being dressed yet going anywhere, and I like getting compliments and encouragement from others. Sometimes there are negatives, but that is life too.