Do you dress or go out when you travel on business?

[AllieSummers]

Hi girls,

I first started really progressing with my female persona when I started traveling on business about 3 years ago. A little more than a year ago I came out to my wife. About 6 months ago my traveling stopped and now I sleep in my own bed most nights.

There are some major advantages to not traveling but there are draw backs. When I traveled I had more time to think and write and to chat online. I also used to dress and go out a lot on the road.

I'm going to be in Atlanta this Wednesday night and all of sudden I have this major erg to sneak some clothes and makeup in my luggage and go out when I'm there.

What should I do?

Kisses,

Allie

[Kathi Lake]

Allie, as long as your wife doesn't mind (and I know she's pretty tolerant), then by all means - let Allie play!

Where does the "sneaking" come in?

Kathi

[AllieSummers]

The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her. She has been great but I still don't get out as much as I'd like to. I really want to go out.

Am I being stupid or wanting to go out?

Kisses,

Allie

[kymmieLorain]

On the few business trips I have been on. I only dressed in my room. I wasn't really CDing much at the time of the trips.

Kymmie

[Emily Belle]

Hi girls,

I first started really progressing with my female persona when I started traveling on business about 3 years ago. A little more than a year ago I came out to my wife. About 6 months ago my traveling stopped and now I sleep in my own bed most nights.

There are some major advantages to not traveling but there are draw backs. When I traveled I had more time to think and write and to chat online. I also used to dress and go out a lot on the road.

I'm going to be in Atlanta this Wednesday night and all of sudden I have this major erg to sneak some clothes and makeup in my luggage and go out when I'm there.

What should I do?

Kisses,

Allie

Femme stuff is so light, you owe it to yourself to take your
treats, you may decide later if you dare to venture out dressed.
Keep up your efforts; you look like you'll pass thru the night!

:heehee:

[Kelly DeWinter]

No you are not wrong to want to go out. Talk to your spouse about it, but be sensitive to her concerns. I think you will gain brownie points with her by being open. Sounds like you have a great marriage, be careful with embracing the 'dark side'. Terms like 'sneaking' should be a waring sign. Think of Robot in "Lost in Space" .... 'Warning .... Danger ..... Danger !"

Kelly

[Emily Belle]

Yes, why would we have to sneak around our signif.others?

Good work yourself, Kathi, i do so like your Style!

[Kathi Lake]

The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her.Ah. I had seen pictures of the two of you together and that's why I assumed a large level of support from her.

What you're suggesting is to take that trust you've built together and possibly bash it to pieces because you want to have looser boundaries than you already have. Ouch! That's a tough call. I know as well as you do the siren call of dressing (though you're much cuter! :)), but I also know that sneaking around barriers that have been agreed upon is, while not a recipe for disaster, it is a least a list of ingredients for disaster (bad analogy, perhaps. I'm tired.).

Allie, go slow on this. If you feel it is time to move the goalposts, talk with your wife about the boundaries, her needs, your needs, and see if you can meet in the middle. And yes, I know how hard of a talk that can be. I also know how worth it it can be.

Kathi

[BRANDYJ]

I agree with what Kathy and others have said. You have her acceptance and even participation. Why risk lo9sing the trust that is there?

[MsJanessa]

when I used to travel by car a lot, I would always take a lot of clothesand go out to the local T-clubs in the evening---I don't travel so much now and mostly its by air so I dont dress away on business---

as far as sneaking without your wife knowing about it---because you know it would upset her---I guess that' s really up to you---if you have an otherwise good relationship with your spouse and want to stay married, it wouldn't be wise to jeopardize it--on the other hand if you dont have such a good relationship and you feel you want to "be free" then maybe so--but may be the better idea is to be up front with her about your doing it--is the reason she doesn't you to dress and go out without her because she thinks that would lead you to becoming involved with other people? and does she have a good reason to think that or is she being insecure and paranoid?--

and if you have fantasies of being with other people, but don't want to do it because of fidelty issues with your wife, then taking your wardrobe on the road is really playing with fire---think about it--you dressed to the nines,full face makeup, perfect hair, and going to the nearest cd bar with a hotel room available to you and whoever--that really is playing with fire if you want to stay in a monogamous relationship---If, on the other hand, you just want to put on a pair of girl jeans, makeup, etc and spend an hour cruising the local mall maybe that's not so tempting. what ever you decide to do, good luck

[Michelle Charles]

I too agree with the other girls who've commented. You are in a unique position of having a supportive spouse. Boundaries are good for marriages, most things in life work having can be negotiated, but you are risking all the good things by actually being dishonest and going out. Tell her you want to dress in atlanta, give her details of what you want to do there, where you'll be going, who you'll be with and gain her trust and permission. If she says no, abide by that and talk well in advance of your next trip. ost spouses are afraid of being outed at home or to friends and family locally. Honesty is a key here!
Michelle

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allie

I think you allready know the answer don't you ??

Just do it.

Orchid

[suchacutie]

A couple of years ago I was traveling to a meeting for a week. I realized that I had to be my male self at the professional meeting, but once I walked into that hotel room there was no reason to continue being masculine. So, Tina's shoes were next to the door, and as soon I walked into the room off went the boy shoes, and on went Tina's. Since there was no one there, I could instantly change perspective and Tina came to life. Since then, any time I travel I take enough for Tina to exist for the week, including those lovely 5" clogs that Tina can put on instantly! They also come off instantly when "he" needs to walk out of the hotel room. It is lovely Tina-time, but it is also bittersweet, in that I am without my wife for a week. So, although it's great to be able to be Tina, I'd rather have my wife with me hands down!

As to "sneaking" out, it is playing with fire, and getting burnt is inevitable. If you plan to go out, you might as well start planning for the fire.

They go together.

tina

[AKAMichelle]

Sneak some clothes in the luggage and go out. You can always find someone to show you where to go while you are there. Maybe the meetup group there just like yours in Dallas.

I just started a meetup group here in Denver so if you ever make it this way look us up because I would be extremely interested in going to dinner with you at the least.

P.S. Hopefully when I finally figure out my plans for Dallas later this month, we can meet.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her.

Question....why doesn't she want you to go out without her? Is it still reverberations from the trust issue following the revelation of your CDing?



She has been great but I still don't get out as much as I'd like to. I really want to go out.

Then tell her, directly. But don't go out behind her back, you agreed on those boundaries.



Am I being stupid or wanting to go out?

No, but you shouldn't have agreed to the "don't go out without me" boundary if you didn't really want to. I know I know, it was part of the "She's not killing me after she found out/I told her...I'll agree to anything" routine, but still.

Veronica Rogers

[Blaire]

"Sneak" and "Happily Married" don't go hand in hand. Some of the responses already here will tell you that.

It's easy enough - just ask. A straight up and simple, "Would you be upset if I took some Allie things along on the trip?"

[AKAMichelle]

Maybe I should have read more carefully about what you were proposing. Without telling your wife with those boundaries, I think you would be risking more than just a good time. In that sense, I have to change my opinion and vote no to sneaking clothes into the suitcase.

[June Laine]

Yes,

I dress in the hotel room, I get some me time to experiment with makup and lurk the forums and take some pictures to share with the wife. Any time I can dresisa good time:)

[Kirra_Moon]

Usually when I go out on business its with a group of coworkers. I've dressed in the room once, but i wouldn't dare to step outside. If one of my coworkers found out I may not get fired but the fallout would probably make me quit.

[Miranda09]

Allie...I have to agree with Kathi here. I know the urge, but also respect your boundaries with your wife. True she'd never know, BUT, do you really want to go down that path? Besides, look at it this way....when you do get to dress, it'll be more special because it'll be with someone special to you. :)

[faltenrock]

whenever I travel, I carry two bags, one for business with my male clothes (little bag) and a little suitcase with the female clothes that I've choosen for a trip, usually two pair of shoes, about 5-8 skirts, and other stuff. Yes I take advantage of traveling and dress a lot. I usually spend a day or two completely en femme, I check in dressed up and I check out dressed up, it feels great. My wife is not supportive but she knows, because every time I come back, she talks about my positive facial expression, and than she says, 'I know...but I don't want to hear about it'.

[Paula Siemen]

I've dressed as Paula and gone out while on a business trip. My trips were usullay no more thawn one over night stay so the ability to pack Paula's things required forward thinking of what outfit to wear and being very efficient in my packing. I was able to pack the next day's drab clothes along with Paula's p[urese, dress, lingerie and night gown, one pair of heels, makeup purse, and wig all in one typical, airline under seat bag. Do you really think you can get those under the seat????
Anyway, I'd fly into the city of my appointment in drab, take care of business then go to the hotel and change. Then I'd go down to the bar, have a cocktail and off to a resturant for dinner. After dinner, maybe another bar or seek out the TG or Lesbian bar for a little meeting of others or back to the hotel bar for a night cap.
First time I did this, I actually damaged the rental car by hitting a steel post in a parking lot. No I wasn't drunk, post post was just short and not visible from the driver's seat and I hit it while backing out and turning. Fortunately, since the company required us to rent the cars under our own name and insurance, this did not become a problem for my employer.

I suppose my wife knew I was taking Paula along on my trips eventhough I was descrete in my packing, doing it while she was not around and unpacking as well. She once asked me if I was taking my feminine products with me as I was leaving???

Anyway, other than the minor auto incident, I never had any problems when Paula accompanied me on my business trips. Just watgch the driving and parking.

Have fun and be caqrefull,
Paula

[Chrissie P]

I always dress when I travel. It's the only way to go!

I have developed friendships in two different cities and I have a very enjoyable time. It's fun to just have a drink or two with a like minded gal, or a nice date with a man. Just be careful and be very selective.

[JulieC]

The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her. She has been great but I still don't get out as much as I'd like to. I really want to go out.

Am I being stupid or wanting to go out?

Kisses,

Allie

You're not being stupid for wanting to go out. Where there's a failing is in the sneaking part.

Be honest, be open. Your wife is your partner, not your adversary.

[Chickhe]

If she already knows and goes out with you, then I assume she is fine with the CDing and her being with you is just a preference. Could be an insecurity too that you will attract some undesired attention. Anyhow, I would do what you want, but keep her in the loop if you can.

[marthaCD]

The problem these days is that if you carry on your bag on the plane to avoid the bag fee charges then there is a good chance the TSA will be gazing at your fem stuff. With metal clasps on garter belts that is an issue also. Thus, dressing en femme on business or travel does create some issues for me so I leave my stuff home regretably.

[kay_jessica]

Now here's a radical idea. Perhaps Alli could invite the SO along for a night out on the town in Atlanta. Sure it'll cost you an air fare, but hotels are paid for by the room not per person. So give her a wee holiday in Atlanta whilst you do your business stuff then have a girls night out. That way you get to go out and with the SO.

Hugs

Kay

[kay_jessica]

The problem these days is that if you carry on your bag on the plane to avoid the bag fee charges then there is a good chance the TSA will be gazing at your fem stuff. With metal clasps on garter belts that is an issue also. Thus, dressing en femme on business or travel does create some issues for me so I leave my stuff home regretably.


I disagree, there is no problem here what so ever. Many girls on this site fly and do not encounter issues. Further more some are so comfortable about it that despite their local airport TSA knowing what she really is, they (TSA) don't care and what's more, make her feel totally at ease.

[Sarah V]

Yes, I do dress more when I am traveling on business, if I have an opprotunity to do so. Going to start traveling quite a bit more later this year and I plan to take Sarah with me every chance I get.

[firefightermedic98]

go out and have fun plan a trip just for you

[Blaire]

Now here's a radical idea. Perhaps Alli could invite the SO along for a night out on the town in Atlanta. Sure it'll cost you an air fare, but hotels are paid for by the room not per person. So give her a wee holiday in Atlanta whilst you do your business stuff then have a girls night out. That way you get to go out and with the SO.

Hugs

Kay

Ooooohhh! The best suggestion yet, now if only you were going to Paris!

[Jennifer T]

I always dress up and go out on business travels. no one knows who I am so I never have to worry about being seen by anyone I know

[WandaRae2009]

Since my son moved back home, that is the only chance I get to dress fully. He has a job now where he can pop in at any time. My wife does not want the kids to know, the therapist we saw agreed with her, so we still keep my secret from the kids. At home now I only get short periods where I can dress. I have to be able to change back in an instant so the Hair & Makeup is out.

I went out in on previous trips with no problems. She usually doesn't ask, but on my last trip she did, so I told her the truth; I wanted to go to one of the group outings near where I was traveling. She got extremely upset. She is afraid that something is going to happen to me. I tried to tell her the safest way is to go with a group but to no avail; She made me promise that I wouldn't go. I am trying hard to live within her limits, but I really need to get together with others like me. I really think it will help me understand myself better. And I am sure it would be a good time, much better than sitting in a hotel room alone.

I am looking forward to my next trip

[taylor027]

when you are on the road and you have the time on your hands for entertainment, dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[minalost]

Allie,
Everyone else has given you great advise. All I can say is that if my wife was as supportive as yours is I wouldn't do ANYTHING that could ruin that relationship. What some of us would do to have the kind of support, even with it's limitations, that you have...
Just think before you act, and don't let the pink fog rule you, or ruin you.
:hugs:

[Phyliss Hdson]

Hi Allie,
Unfurtuately I am still traveling for a living so I understand your stiuation.
I get very little tie to go out with the girls in Houston but get a fair amount of time for dressing while traveling.

As for taking things with you to wear I never travel without at least one outfit, i would hate to waste an opprotunity.

Hugs Phyliss

[TxKimberly]

I travel 3 to 4 days out of most weeks and spend the majority of my time as Kim when I am not in front of the customer. It's a win-win. I get "me" time, and my wife doesn't worry about kids or neighbors seeing me. :D

[NathalieX66]

I'll be up in New England, from my home in NJ going to a bunch of trans events, and in spite of my folks living up there, i don't think I can manage staying at their place and putting on makeup & a dress and going out. ...so I guess it's hotel rooms for me. :confused3:

[CD Jane]

I agree with Kimberly. I travel 135 nights a year. I get my Jane time, Wife and kid are non issues, while I am not quite up to passable and going out out, I am more at ease with shoppingand such no one knows me from Adam, so what the heck.

[Nicole Brown]

Although I do not travel as much as Kim does, I always take Nicole with me when I do travel and as often as possible I travel as Nicole. I will just about always travel en fem when traveling by car and thanks to Kim's encouragement, have recently flown coast to coast and back as Nicole twice.

That being said, I would encourage you to discuss your needs and desires with your SO and explain just how important it is to you.

[kellgrl66]

Not married here allie but have a friend in seattle that comes to LA on business all the time . She dresses in her hotel and we meet for drinks or dinner together. His wife does not know. Yet what is the harm if youre just going out innocently to be allie and not seeking sex?