Are you a warrior or a princess?

[Frédérique]

I was at the local Walgreen’s the other night, waiting for my sister to get her prescription filled, and I took a look around the store to pass the time. This particular establishment is just off of the north-south Interstate, right smack dab in the middle of Kansas (and America), sitting at an intersection that includes a McDonalds, a Wal-Mart, a car dealership, and several other small eateries. You can see for miles in all directions, since this relatively new area is being filled in with stores and essential services…

Inside Walgreen’s, nestled among the seasonal candy, toys, knickknacks and whatnots, was a SMALL bin of bargain books, maybe twenty in all. Half of the books were about warriors, replete with weapons, armor, military hardware and aggression, and the other half were about princesses, i.e. how to be or act like one, don’t you wish you were one, or wouldn’t you like to living in a castle somewhere, waiting for the warrior to make his inevitable appearance? A curious, albeit small gathering of books, to be sure, and right in the middle, between the two gender “factions” was Joel Osteen’s “Become a Better You.” I won’t comment on the latter, except to say that the author is REALLY smiling* on the glossy cover, and the word “scripture” appears on nearly every page, as if by magic (yet it’s deliberate). Well, I just had to look…:doh:
*Can teeth get much whiter?

Anyway, I got to thinking like a crossdresser, as is my wont, and I wondered about this warrior/princess dichotomy. Are the powers-that-be herding children towards one or another, and, if so, why? Do they, the standard bearers of an accepted definition of civilization, want all boys to think about being warriors and all girls to think about being princesses? Based on the polarized literature on display, I tend to make a connection, but I would anyway (consider the source). Are boys, depending on their parental/peer pressure, expected to embrace the warrior concept without question? Also, do girls look at the pretty, smiling, piece-of-work princesses and want to emulate all things associated with girly, like nice clothes, hairstyles, makeup and jewelry? The genders are neatly separated into two camps, at opposite ends of the bin, and the lack of subtlety amuses me no end. The fact that these were “bargain” books, and not selling well, was factored into my wonderment, but their very existence intrigues me…:thinking:

Of course, I know there are girls who resist the princess urge (especially if their sister is a declared princess), just like I know some boys are appalled at the idea of having to become warriors. In other words, reality is infinitely more subtle. When I was a young boy, I was fascinated by all kinds of typical male stuff (hardware, attitudes, non-existent feelings, and pointless aggression), but something happened one night and I turned towards the idea of being a princess. Nowadays, looking at the gender specificity in a small selection of children’s books, I’m reminded of my own curious path from one set of feelings to another. Well, I’m allowed to...:straightface:

Sitting here, writing this little piece, I see evidence all around me of my “wrong” princess lifestyle – I’m wearing a pink nightdress for coolness and comfort, lipstick stains my coffee cup, and my paintings of boys in dresses decorate the walls. However, the warrior boy I used to be is just under the surface (and under the bed :heehee:) – there are stacks of books on military history in my bedroom, gleaned from local libraries. I’m still fascinated with a barely suppressed boyishness to this day. The video games I play are all shooters, and explosions tickle my fancy. Smashing stuff up? Sure, but not in real life. If my peaceful world was challenged in some way, I would revert to the warrior, but, at this late date, the princess I became would be with me at all times. When I work on artwork in my studio, the change in environment facilitates a move away from the innate warrior to the innate princess. I turn away from violence, listen to music, and seek out things on TV to cry about. Everything is caressed rather than manhandled, and sharp edges are replaced by soft, yielding emotions as I try to create something beautiful. Can you dig it? I know what is (or was) expected of me as a boy, but I created a more homogenous creature from all of myself. We carry on, together…

Maybe I keep the boy around to facilitate the dominant “girl” I happen to be. I need something to bounce off of, and away from. Perhaps I’m proof that the warrior and the princess can co-exist, one gender hugging the other in an endless dance of existence…

So, my MtF friends, are you a warrior or a princess? Can you be both at the same time? I’d really like to know – am I the only one who thinks about this stuff?

BTW, please don’t tell me about Xena, The Warrior Princess, OK? My cherished fantasies do NOT involve swordplay…:naughty

[AriannaVillota]

Very thoughtful insight, and something for all of us to think about. Thanks for sharing. =)

[Kathi Lake]

Universal Answer - it depends.

Am I a warrior or a princess? Yes. Once again, we come to the point where our thinking is forced down one path or another. Must we be so binary? :)

In my "real" life, I guess I would be a warrior. I wear Kevlar and carry an M-16. I work with bombs, bullets, missiles, nukes and jets. I work among highly testosterone-charged guys who go out of their way to show how manly they are. However, I am a princess, and everyone pretty much knows it. I am soft. I am gentle. I am caring. I am not entirely large. :)

With all of that, though, I am a good leader, and get respect without demanding it. Whether that is due to my rank, my advanced years (as I tell some of the new Airmen, "Kid, I have underwear older than you!"), or other things, I don't know.

Basically, I feel that I am both a warrior and a princess - a princess who doesn't need to be saved by another warrior. I am my own warrior. I simply choose not to dress in smelly old armor, but in lace and pearls.

:)

Kathi

[Michaela42]

I chose option C.

Like Kathi was describing, far too many people try to see things in binary, either/or, black/white, yes/no, etc...

One of the beauties of this world is that there are shades of gray to nearly all decisions. Please read my signature for a quote that pretty well sums up the question more eloquently than I can ;)

[Kate Simmons]

Always a warrior first, a princess second. The thing is I take of the bad guys looking good.:battingeyelashes::)

[suchacutie]

In another thread here I talked about the two sides of my existance, stating that I enjoyed and, apparantly, have always needed both of them. In defending/explaining my male side I made it clear that I enjoy being a husband, part of which includes being the "dragonslayer!". When the bear walked across our property near the house a week ago, I'm the one the went out to see if all was back to normal. I wouldn't have even considered expecting my wife to do that.

On the other hand, Tina is real princess material! She is high maintenance, fashion concious, fastidious, loves watching chick flicks with her girlfriend, just adores her shiny red nails, and would never miss a day of moisturizing her skin.

Put the two sides together and you get me. Ok, so it's a little crazy, but from what I've read here in the last 5 years, I'm far from alone !!! :)

tina

[Elizabeth Ann]

First, I just want to say that I adore your new avatar. Is it a photo of you? I would propose immediately if I were not an old codger and married.

I think everyone here, especially here, thinks such dichotomies are seldom absolutely black and white. In fact, regarding popular culture, there was a recent article in the Washington Post about the evolution in TV (television) and movie heroes and heroines. Characters like Monk are flawed and show their vulnerabilities. Even more relevant, there is a trend in confident, aggressive action heroines, such as Laura Croft and others.

For me, though, I would peg the spectrum poles at a confident self sufficiency at one end and a self doubting passivity at the other end. That is the shameful result of the sexism endemic in society. Any of us of any gender can display competency that requires neither warrior or princess. My last act of violence was when I was 13 years old, and I feel no less a man, nor for that matter when I am cooking or sewing.

I have often wondered what is truly, instinctively masculine and feminine, and what is behavior taught by society. There are some fundamental differences, given that males and females behave differently throughout the animal world. But I think much of this is learned behavior. We worked hard with our son and daughter to instill a sense of self confidence in each, that it is okay to try, and sometime fail (I hate those stupid graduation speeches that say you can be anything you want, because if you fail, of course it's your fault). I was really pleased not long ago when our daughter, who calls herself a Diva, called for advice on how to fix her plumbing.

So, if you are a competent princess who doesn't need a prince to "complete" you, that is far better than a warrior who blindly follows his leader. And yes, we all have some mix of warrior and princess. I love my panties, but I can spend hours in the hardware store.

Liz

[kymmieLorain]

I guess I am a little of both. I am the warrior that likes to play with guns and some other manly things. Then I am a princess who likes to sew, have painted toes & dress in comfy lingerie.

Kymmie

[carhill2mn]

I suspect that not too many people think of this subject to the depth that you have. IMHO "society" has been pushing genetic boys toward the "warrior" and gentic girls toward the "princess" for generations. In recent decades girls have been given more of an opportunity to try on the "warrior" role with less adverse reaction from "society".

The push for boys to be "warriors" may be slightly less now than in the past but the vast majority of "society" still does not accept/will not understand why a boy would want to be a bit "girly" at times or at all. Naturally gentle boys still have a very difficult time even if they do not wear girls' clothing, etc. Thus, we CDs are still mostly misunderstood and often derided. All one has to do is watch fathers and mothers at a sporting activity of some kind to see/hear them push the "warrior" ideal . "Tom boys" are still an exception as they can go from "warrior" to "princess" and back again at any time and be well thought of.

Unfortunately for us, any changes to this situation will take a long time.

[sissystephanie]

We are back to labels, aren't we? It seems like we could have at least a month with no mention of labels being made, couldn't we? Guess that will never happen!

I was born a man, so I guess that makes me a warrior!! But I like to dress like a woman, so does that make me a princess? Not in my head! No matter what I have on, there is still a man underneath. Not a warrior, I put that part of me away a long time ago. I am just a man who wears feminine clothing!!

[docrobbysherry]

Why limit yourself? Warrior Princess!:devil:

114614

[Cassandra Lynn]

Another thoughtful and eloquently stated post Frederique........hope you don't mind my thoughts.
While some of what the males in my family do, as many do, out in the field is considered warrior behavior, we are not the stereotypical machismo-fueled types. Rather on the contrary, we are all passive, even if quietly sure in our manhood.
Nary a fighter, or television-esque warrior amongst us, even though we possess leadership skills.
Far as i know, and i'm fairly sure in this, i'm the only one of us who can come home from a day afield and enjoy a long soak in a Plumeria infused bath and slip into something soft and silky and cry my eyes out watching some chick flick.
Just wish it was reversed somewhat. Slip out of my silky and soft for an occasional day afield!
mj (Cassie)

[Kat42]

Saw a T-shirt while eating lunch the other day. GG at the next table wore it. It read "Self-Rescuing Princess". I thought "You Go Girl!"

[GingerLeigh]

Funny how I fantasize about being both simultaneously. I'm engaged in battle with a hostile enemy, a powerful weapon in my hand, while wearing heels and a skirt.

[charlotte_sp]

Saw a T-shirt while eating lunch the other day. GG at the next table wore it. It read "Self-Rescuing Princess". I thought "You Go Girl!"

I like that XD

On the original topic, I'd like to add that it's not that strange to have different personalities at different times.
After all, when you're around your family you probably don't act the same as when you're with your friends or coworkers.
The same person can be a responsible parent or a party animal depending on the situation.
Sometimes it's tiring or even boring to act the same way, so you need a change.
I treat cross-dressing as an indulgence to compensate for work-related stress.

As far as the warrior/princess dichotomy goes, I think it's a little unfair to dismiss it as labeling.
I believe if you're honest with yourself, vanity and narcissism are a big part of cross-dressing.
I mean the number one priority is looking pretty and feeling good.

Personally, I find it a little troublesome that my primary objectives in femme mode are so self-centered.
What does it say about my attitudes towards women?
I consider myself a feminist, but when I dress, it can feel a bit hypocritical.

Anyways, to Frédérique, I'm glad you're willing to share some of your private feelings.
You are not alone in struggling with multiple identities.

[busker]

Elizabeth Ann mentioned the animal world and there in many cases the princess is the male and often the hapless victim of the "warrior princess". Female spiders often dispatch the male after mating --how rude- and male bower birds (homemakers of unusual grace, taste and skill) are the ones who build the fancy houses which the princesses very often mock after just a single glance.
Many females are larger than males in some species and the females that are nest parasites leave their young for someone else to rear while they go off on a toot looking for another sex fling.
It is often the males that are the most brilliantly colored in the animal world and the "warriors " are often drab (no pun intended), though that may be natures way of keeping the female safe by allowing the predators to chase the more colorful males.
Pehaps it is only among America's educated human species where the male is expected to be the warrior. Women in many parts of the world have been warriors for thousands of years and in modern times (WWII Russia comes to mind with it's many pilots, for example, and their regular service in the army and Heroes of Our Time)) and dominatrix is certainly as old as Rome.
More study of nature will set us right.

[JOJO44]

Universal Answer - it depends.

Am I a warrior or a princess? Yes. Once again, we come to the point where our thinking is forced down one path or another. Must we be so binary? :)

In my "real" life, I guess I would be a warrior. I wear Kevlar and carry an M-16. I work with bombs, bullets, missiles, nukes and jets. I work among highly testosterone-charged guys who go out of their way to show how manly they are. However, I am a princess, and everyone pretty much knows it. I am soft. I am gentle. I am caring. I am not entirely large. :)

With all of that, though, I am a good leader, and get respect without demanding it. Whether that is due to my rank, my advanced years (as I tell some of the new Airmen, "Kid, I have underwear older than you!"), or other things, I don't know.

Basically, I feel that I am both a warrior and a princess - a princess who doesn't need to be saved by another warrior. I am my own warrior. I simply choose not to dress in smelly old armor, but in lace and pearls.

:)

Kathi




Yes Xena!

We hear and obey!

[Deborah Jane]

Some days I'm a warrior, some days I'm a princess, but most days I'm just a blend of the two :)

[Kara Connor]

I used to be way more binary about this, or at least in guy mode I was quite "blokey". More recently I have become more metrosexual, and don't care so much what others think. The other day one of our friends asked my wife if I was wearing eyeliner (I was in guy mode and am not out to this person). She didn't ask me. My wife just said "I don't think so, he's just tired". I was dying to say, after I found out, "No, of course not. It was my mascara which smudged a bit throughout the day. Move on, no eyeliner to be seen here"!

Having said that, I was desperate to see "The Longest Day" on Sunday, it being the 66th anniversary of D-Day. In the end I had to rent a DVD (thanks for not having it on the instant queue, Netflix) so there was a bit of warrior coming out there. I'm definitely a WW2 history buff, and can tell the difference between a Mark IX and Mark XVI Spitfire *.

In girl mode, definitely a princess. Love learning about makeup, and trying to match shoes and pick out clothes that actually go together to make an outfit, rather than being a random collection of skirts, dresses and tops.

* The Mark XVI had the Packard built V-1650 Merlin and the IX had Rolls-Royce Merlins ;)

[christina marie]

Do i have to be either? cant i just sit on the fence where i usually do? i am not fond of being shoved into a box,no matter how roomy it may be. if you put me in a princess box, i will use my knowledge of the proper application of explosive devices to extricate myself from said box. there may be a slight amount of collateral damage. if you put me in a warrior box, i will whine,pout and bitch until someone lets me out, and if no-one does, i will have to shred that nasty smelly little box with my nail file. then there will be massive collateral damage,'cause someone is gonna pay for treating a Princess that way!

[Sara Jessica]

Love your thoughtful post Frédérique.

I guess there's another way to put it, and it happens to describe me. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I've never had a warrior mentality but I can't say this is because there was always a princess lurking about. Some guys just aren't cut out for danger. Never had the desire to be a police officer, firefighter, millitary (sorry Kathi ;) ) or anything like that. And just because a guy may feel this way, it certainly doesn't mean there are any gender issues beneath the surface. But in my case, the gender thing just adds another variable to the human experience.

One thing I can say which picks up on Kathi's comment about leadership is that the warrior versus princess definitely feeds into what kind of leaders we are. I aspire to inspire rather than being a forceful ranting lunatic (simply coining an extreme example). Is that my feminine side coming through? Sure, but as many might say if they knew the whole of me, I'm just being myself.

[sophieporter]

I'm sweet and innocent unless I need to deal with someone.

Happened first time I went out, was on my own, and a girl in a group screamed across the square at me, "are you a man...in a dress?!", so I had a word with her.

It's all covered by my motto: 'Dear world, kindly get the F**K out of my way'

Sometimes you have to be stronger.

[Frédérique]

Am I a warrior or a princess? Yes. Once again, we come to the point where our thinking is forced down one path or another. Must we be so binary?

Well, I’m on the lookout for the sources of gender-bias, and I feel children are being gently forced down one path or another, for better or worse. It may seem (and be) innocent, but I wonder why this polarization exists at all – is it just the time we’re living in? I think life is just one big RPG*…
*role-playing game, not rocket-propelled grenade!

I was thinking about you when I wrote this piece, Kathi. :) You’re living proof that two seemingly dissimilar personas can coexist in one elegant package, and you do it with such grace and aplomb. As far as leadership goes, I imagine it comes with the territory, but I am somewhat handicapped in many respects. At my age I resist being led anywhere by anyone, and I would expect any followers to question my motives. If I was younger, I would probably follow without thinking. I do tend to step forward in the highly competitive art world, however, a form of battle with self-created images. I stand out from my weaker opponents and feel curiously strong, a leftover from my “warrior” youth days, I think. Of course, on this site, I tuck nearly everything away, if you know what I mean…:doh:



I suspect that not too many people think of this subject to the depth that you have. IMHO "society" has been pushing genetic boys toward the "warrior" and gentic girls toward the "princess" for generations. In recent decades girls have been given more of an opportunity to try on the "warrior" role with less adverse reaction from "society".

Yes, and good for them. Maybe the presence of princess-oriented books and accessories is an attempt to pull things back a bit, along the line of family values, regardless of the hard-won lessons of history. Unfortunately, boys aren’t allowed to try on the “princess” role, unless the parents hope a momentary relaxation of the accepted norm will assuage their son’s girly desires. Even if the boy can successfully be a princess in some capacity, peer pressure wouldn’t allow further exploration along this interesting path, inevitably (and sadly) causing confrontation…:sad:


I guess there's another way to put it, and it happens to describe me. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I've never had a warrior mentality but I can't say this is because there was always a princess lurking about. Some guys just aren't cut out for danger. Never had the desire to be a police officer, firefighter, millitary (sorry Kathi) or anything like that. And just because a guy may feel this way, it certainly doesn't mean there are any gender issues beneath the surface. But in my case, the gender thing just adds another variable to the human experience.

I’m reminded of my father, who was a leader in the local fire department back in Massachusetts. I don’t think he relished the role, which is where a lot of my questioning about male behavior, surface appearance and bravado comes from. His insecurity was noticeable. I may just be the longed-for expression he couldn’t quite accomplish – he never pushed me toward any traditional male activity, yet nurtured my artistic yearnings, along with a profound love of nature. As such, I never had the desire for dangerous undertakings or leadership, but the closet suits me just fine…:battingeyelashes:

[Madilyn A.]

I've spent my first 50 years or so suppressing my inner self to a large degree. I outwardly had a warrior mentality, super competitive in business and sports. Lately, more and more of my inner self is surfacing and the Princess is very close to the surface coming up for air on occassion. The warrior has retreated and fought his last battle !!

[joannacd66]

Am I a warrior or a princess? That a good question ! and a very personal and soul searching question too . For Me I still am a warrior , but of course in thosw special, quiet and calm moments I can easily, effortlessly and willingly be a princess

[JainaCarpaccio]

Hmm well honestly it depends on what mode I'm in. As guy, while I'm pretty caring and sympathizing, I do tend to have more aggressive tendencies. I like pumping iron, though thanks to genetics I don't bulk up. I'm fascinated by knives, bows and older guns, and i like learning about combat.

When I go en femme however I find that my midset becomes much more docile. Just slipping into something sexy causes most of my agression and tension to melt away.

[Sara Jessica]

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"]I’m reminded of my father, who was a leader in the local fire department back in Massachusetts. I don’t think he relished the role, which is where a lot of my questioning about male behavior, surface appearance and bravado comes from. His insecurity was noticeable. I may just be the longed-for expression he couldn’t quite accomplish – he never pushed me toward any traditional male activity, yet nurtured my artistic yearnings, along with a profound love of nature. As such, I never had the desire for dangerous undertakings or leadership, but the closet suits me just fine…:battingeyelashes:

Your comment makes me think of something that should be clarified. Danger knows no gender, nor does leadership. While the numbers may be fewer, and possibly fueled by societal expectations, women can have the same inclination to get into dangerous careers just as men. The same holds true for those who lead, it's equal territory for both women and men, at least in theory when it comes to opportunity. Practice may be different but I'd hope that is getting better as time goes by.


I've spent my first 50 years or so suppressing my inner self to a large degree. I outwardly had a warrior mentality, super competitive in business and sports. Lately, more and more of my inner self is surfacing and the Princess is very close to the surface coming up for air on occassion. The warrior has retreated and fought his last battle !!

Interesting that this concept comes up. I'm sure it's common in our world, that many of us do the "overcompensate" thing. It's just not the first thing I think about because it wasn't part of my being.

[Crysten]

Universal Answer - it depends.

Am I a warrior or a princess? Yes. Once again, we come to the point where our thinking is forced down one path or another. Must we be so binary? :)

In my "real" life, I guess I would be a warrior. I wear Kevlar and carry an M-16. I work with bombs, bullets, missiles, nukes and jets. I work among highly testosterone-charged guys who go out of their way to show how manly they are. However, I am a princess, and everyone pretty much knows it. I am soft. I am gentle. I am caring. I am not entirely large. :)

With all of that, though, I am a good leader, and get respect without demanding it. Whether that is due to my rank, my advanced years (as I tell some of the new Airmen, "Kid, I have underwear older than you!"), or other things, I don't know.

Basically, I feel that I am both a warrior and a princess - a princess who doesn't need to be saved by another warrior. I am my own warrior. I simply choose not to dress in smelly old armor, but in lace and pearls.

:)

Kathi

I kind of agree with Kathi on this one. In my teens and twenties....warrior all the way. Probably, over compensation. In my 30s....the "warrior" was getting a little.....tarnished? if that's the correct word. Now into my 40s....and no longer wearing kevlar....I don't know. All of my military gear has been properly disposed of....and I still have a mountain of womens clothes. I guess it must be princess now. Just waiting for my kids to get off to their own thing, then I think I'll start doing mine.

[Kathi Lake]

Well, I’m on the lookout for the sources of gender-bias, and I feel children are being gently forced down one path or another, for better or worse. It may seem (and be) innocent, but I wonder why this polarization exists at all – is it just the time we’re living in?I try so hard to raise my kids to exist and be who and what they want to be. My 15 year-old son still holds our hands while walking at times. My 10 year-old daughter was playing dress-up last night and came out with her hair looking like princess Leia (man, she used a lot of bobby pins on those "cinnamon buns." Good thing I just bought her a new pack! :)), carrying a lightsabre and dressed in her Jack Sparrow costume. Later, she changed into more casual attire, did some stretching/yoga, took up the Lotus position near where I was reading and "meditated" for a bit. She's odd, like her father, but I love her. I have tried so much harder in raising her to ensure that this is one princess that will never need rescuing. Sure, I teach her about hair and makeup and clothes, but I also made sure that she thinks spiders are cool, that she knows how to fix little things around the house (she loves her personal tool kit), that in any relationship she is the one with the power. I of course also taught her just where to strike to take down any guy. :)

So, binary or black and white this world may indeed be. I want my children to know that gray is OK as well. Now, is that due to my status? As many of you here know, I kind of have a foot planted in both streams, so to speak. My personality is odd, I guess. I don't really see a lot of separation between my halves - or even halves, for that matter. My "guy side" influences the woman within. The woman within heavily influences my daily life. We are one. I am me. It's odd, but it seems to work.


I was thinking about you when I wrote this piece, Kathi. :) You’re living proof that two seemingly dissimilar personas can coexist in one elegant package, and you do it with such grace and aplomb.Frédérique, that may be one of the nicest compliments I have received here on the board, and I thank you so much for it! In fact, I love and trust your insight so much, I'll do something that I normally don't do with a compliment - accept it.

:)

Kathi

[Lexine]

Why limit yourself? Warrior Princess!:devil:

Oh doc, when DON'T you have an appropriate pic to post on topics on the boards? :D


I think life is just one big RPG*…

I actually identify with this statement quite a bit Frédérique. I've taken on a lot of roles in my life: loving boyfriend, geeky video gamer, studious student (well, not really but I tried to be!), hardcore partier, moody goth, and most recently I've taken the persona of the cute, casual girl.

To choose between warrior and princess is like selecting or favoring a part of me over another and I've always felt that I've had the perfect balance between being a boy and a girl, having some boy-ish hobbies and having girl-ish sensibilities to even looking much younger than I am, which allows me to represent myself in either gender, or both when I go out androgyne.

I think this is why I consider myself transgender and only recently have I learned what that truly means. For me, being unable to categorize myself as being all "warrior" or being all "princess" is fine because that's what identifies me as "me."

[dilane]

...Whether that is due to my rank, my advanced years (as I tell some of the new Airmen, "Kid, I have underwear older than you!"


Just don't say "Kid, I've got bras older than you!"

[Karen564]

There was a time when I used to be a fearless warrior....

But traded all the armor in to be a princess...

Of course being a princess is more work, but well worth the effort if it attracts a worthy prince charming ..:daydreaming:

[morgan51]

I find it gratifying to have command of both. Nothing wrong with having varried interests and abilities.

[Sarah Doepner]

I was wondering something similar earlier today myself. There are a lot of posts here that discuss that period in life before acceptance and the emersion into testosterone-fueled activities to overcompensate for the girly feelings. These are the warriors who are attempting to establish dominion over the princess and send her away. Fortunately for the rest of us they failed and have become role models, leaders and sisters here, although that was not their plan.

My youth wasn't quite that way. I was incompetent at the macho stuff and fearful of the girly things as well. Since I couldn't compete with the warriors I just floated along attempting to navigate a path between the two worlds. Occasionally I would fall off into one or the other and be reminded of my inability to perform well in the macho role and discovering satisfaction in the female world. I couldn't overcompensate in the manly stuff and over the years I discovered even the things I thought were in the guy world were also well within the princess world as well. What first seemed to be two distinct worlds have slowly merged into one. Occasionally the fit isn't the best, but it feels so much more natural to me now than anything before where I had to shoehorn myself into one role or another.

I'm still Dad, Grandpa, a buddy, camping partner, car mechanic, plumber and yes, even a warrior. But all of those share an appreciation of the things I've come to identify as feminine. The goal here is movement toward integration I guess. A kind of satisfaction seems to come when I can relish a femme moment without getting dressed or wearing makeup. It's progress and it makes my crossdressing that much better knowing how I've changed thus far.

[firefightermedic98]

great insight i am a lil of both a good balance

[NathalieX66]

"berdache"

The native Americans describe being that word as two-spirited as warrior/mother.

[Barbara Dugan]

I never been a warrior ,does that make me a princess?

[rachael.davis]

So I have been very close with one friend for years - she is an amazing eastern dancer, has a magnificent figure, is drop dead georgeous, and is a certified handgun instructor (has been since she taught in the Navy)
Soooo at one point years ago she was having massive problems with one martial arts group we belong to, I invited her over and spent two days "tweaking" her technique her speed and power shot through the roof as she integrated the minor modifications in.
about a year after that she was over one day and said I have a silly question but I have to ask
ok
so why do you hate the creator so desperately?
You wanna know?
Yes
I'm transgendered but don't know that I'm brave enough to act on what I know I need in my life
OH? That makes sense. let me know when you are

fast forward to now

I called her and said I had pretty much had it with my life and was moving on towards a new one. we chatted for quite a while and all at once she came out with BTW Cuz - You taught me how to use naginata properly, you tweaked my sword technique to the point I can use it effectively... if you turn into some little priss who worries about breaking a nail I am going to fly back east to kick your little round backside
'

or die trying


It doesn't have to be an either or situation.

[Tommie T.]

Women throughout history have been warriors.I'm no different.A Marine,Viet Nam Vet,collectfirearms,shooting sports and hunting,nice lingerie,girly clothes,makeup,pretty panties,can swish when I walk,demur if the occasion calls for it.Must we choose?Thank god for womens lib.It has helped free us al up to be our true selves.

[Sara Jessica]

Thank god for womens lib.It has helped free us al up to be our true selves.

Sorry, I'm not seeing how women's lib has anything to do with "us". Rather, it's the service and sacrifice of those of any gender in our millitary which keeps our country free to the point where we can express ourselves without fear of arrest or worse by our government. There are many places in this world where such a concept is absolutely alien.

[Tommie T.]

I agree with the fact that both genders are making and have made equal sacrifices for our freedom.Even in ancient times when I was an active duty Marine we had women (warriors) serving.My point is that as women in our culture have become more "liberated" it has also removed some of the sterotypes,ridgid role assigntments and hypocrisy that has been placed on both genders.Women achieving a more-though still not 100% equality in our culture has liberated all of us.

[Sara Jessica]

My point is that as women in our culture have become more "liberated" it has also removed some of the sterotypes,ridgid role assigntments and hypocrisy that has been placed on both genders.Women achieving a more-though still not 100% equality in our culture has liberated all of us.

So if women have been "liberated" by removal of stereotypes, rigid role assignments, etc., then why is it that in the cd world, most expression is pegged to those very same stereotypes that natal women are free from strictly adhering to?

Again, think about it, women's lib was a movement for women with nary a thought for what it would or could do for the tg community. And by the same token, I doubt many cd'ers consider women's liberation in how they present, whether in private only or out in the world...not that it necessary that they do so, the concepts have nothing to do with one another.

[Tommie T.]

It's only because "we" choose to fulfill those stereotypes that "we" have as too how women should appear.I went to a party with a number of my cd friends and some ggs wearing pants.I was told that cd don't wear pants.I'm afraid many of us in cd land have not been liberated.By the way I do not consider or refer to womens lib as a bad thing.As in every culture-the anthropoligist in me speaking-all have proscribed roles based on many different things,be it gender,race,religion,socail status,diabled or not etc.We will never truly trat all with equality as long as we have free will the cream or the scum always rises to the surface.In the meantime I'll enjoy being Xena-warrior princess when I choose to be.And damnit I refuse to burn my bra!

[SarahLynn]

Warrior or princess???

In an earlier life I too was the warrior and yet not reached the princess stage in my dressing but in my thoughts I sometimes have that urge. Perhaps it is because I have not yet "come out" in life or in style, though to be certain I came close a few years ago.

Certainly in my writing (some of which are posted in the writers section) I have shown the "softer side" of my charactors. And shown the warrior side as well. I'd like to believe I have shown the two sides of my own personalty but I doubt that is something I have accomplished. It was not a goal I set for myself, only a fact of process for me.

We, humans, are a mix of both male and female. How and how much we choose to present is an individual concept and process, which in so far as the western world is concerned is mostly our choice. We are quite lucky in that as I'm sure you have all heard of the tg in the middleeast who wanted to change back because he found out how poorly women were treated in his world. Pity he can't be who he wanted to be. In some ways I am hoping he can't be reverted. Perhaps it will give a lesson to those who treat women as chattel.

BTW: Fredrique, that is some beautifull writing you have done here in this thread, and all your others. It is good to see such clean and orderly process. And such good grammer and spelling.

SarahLynn

[Teri Jean]

Kathi has said it fairly well. For me it is a combination of the native american two spirited member of the tribe and the wolf in sheep clothing. Although I dress as a woman and present as a woman there is the warrior just under the surface. A professional who was giving a presentation on people who act out of character in a crisis spoke of the wolf in sheep clothing or vice versa got me thinking about my own situation and it is very much like the mother and children. Loving and nurturing until there is a crisis situation.

So to the question are you a warrior or princess, Yes. Hopefully there is no need for the warrior but is part of my make up.

[sometimes_miss]

I'm a princess. Or at least I wish I were. In the meantime, I play the part of a knight, in public, anyway.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

When dressed as Embyrre, I'm definitely more of a princess, but as Zarabeth I feel more like the warrior queen underneath it all. Its very gratifying to have a stock in both camps;)

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Cithmore]

I try to act like a princess however when someone is being unfair I quickley become a warrior.

[Allyson Michelle]

Pftt, Im a Warrioress!!:wyla:

[Inna]

wow, fascinating thread about fascinating subject! Warrior or princess, boy or a girl. As some of you have answered why not both, funny but also extraordinarily true. Brain is now known to house a gender identity, however such identity is comprised of both ingredients, one, per natures design, should be a main other will only surface in minute amount. While forming, brain is subjected to influx of mothers hormones triggering particular formation, if for some reason messages are not delivered to precise areas at precise moment fluctuations may occur.
Disconnect between body and mind happens at that moment, creating rather devastating persona unable to jell as a whole. In population one can observe diversity of combination of male to female ingredient in individuals. Some woman present very masculine character and some males are very feminine. The ratio of femininity to masculinity is endless therefore combination are abound. Mechanics of Society have chosen stereotype over individuality and diversity. It is much easier to classify two types than infinite combination of. Long story short, everyone is a warrior and princes at the same time but with varying proportions of one versus the other. We as transgender have this natural balance thrown of in proportion to our bodies. Pretty simple.

With love, Princes Alexia fighting war on stereotype oppression. Warriors are welcome.

[pink femme]

I struggle with the feelings......i so desperately want to be a warrior because that is what life tells me i should be, but on the other hand my Princess urges just rise to the surface and then I get all confused and in the end I do end up with a tear in my eye. Not because I want to be one or the other but because my mind is a mush of feelings......what is so stereo typical and what feels right inside.

Life sucks:sad:

[Jenna Lynne]

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"]Well, I’m on the lookout for the sources of gender-bias, and I feel children are being gently forced down one path or another, for better or worse. It may seem (and be) innocent, but I wonder why this polarization exists at all – is it just the time we’re living in?
I was blogging about this question this morning (at jennawillow.wordpress.com). If the polarization didn't exist, this forum wouldn't exist, and you wouldn't be asking the question! This is, incidentally, a close-to-home example of what cosmologists call the weak anthropic principle.

Among most species of mammals, males' contribution to procreation is casual and short-term. Females' contribution is more intense and longer-term. For this reason, (1) males are expendable, and (2) the way males demonstrate their fitness as potential mates is by fighting with one another. That's why male moose, elks, and goats butt their heads together. It's why adult male gorillas chase the young bachelors out of the harem.

You may as well accept the warrior/princess binary. Relax and enjoy it, if possible. It's not going to go away in our lifetime -- but more important, it's not going to go away, ever. That's the way mammals are wired up.

Jenna Lynne

[Princess Ludwyna]

I'm clearly a warrior princess, like Xena :D

[carrie-ann]

Wow great thread! Every one has great responses. I grew up on a farm hated it. I joined the military loved serving my country hated the man hood of it. I have hated the male side of me from a very young age. My sister and brother fought my fights in high school. I ran from all who wanted to fight. I got my ass kicked almost daily at school. I was laughed at all the time. Then I would go home and my brother or sister would tell my parents I got my ass kicked again. So they would spank me for not fighting back. I was told you can't do this or that. You'll never be this or that. So I joined the military to prove them wrong. I married not good for me. Was a terrible husband. Trying to be some thing I wasn't. Now on my second marriage. My terms this time. Carrie Ann is out and part of our daily life. My wife has known all along that Carrie Ann will not go away bet just get stronger. In the end all GG's have a defensive position.Call it what you want. I use humor and kindness to handle what I need too. Call it what you want too. Most of the time it works. Only one time in the last 13 months of being 247 have I had a confrontation. I was told all GLBT should be killed. I could have went into warrior mode I didn't. I gracefully handled it. This happened in a restraunt. I thought all those sitting around me was like oh no what's she or he going to do. The manager was about to fall over apologizing to me. That's my way to handle things. If I had to fight my way out of it im in deep trouble. I guess I'd kick scratch and bite as much as I could. I've always been like this always will. Every one is different and that's great. So be what you are. By the way I can hit what i shoot at I've had enough of guns in my life. I'm not anti guns. Just been around them my whole life.

[MrKunk]

When I feel feminine and girly, I feel very much princess and buy extremely girly
clothing and such.