Why? What drives you to CD?

[IloveNancy]

I am a GG and deeply in love with my CDing boyfriend. His CDing has it's roots in sexual arousal and "escape". From what I understand, there's a variety of reasons men cross-dress. In my pursuit to understand this part of him, I have always been curious to know about the other motivators/drives for CDing.
I think it is easy for CDing to be labeled as something to do with sex and sexuality, but it seems much deeper and more complex than that. I would truly appreciate any feedback, ideas and feelings that anyone is willing to share.

[Crissy Kay]

I belive a lot of us MtF cds do it to escape the stress on our male sides at times. Thats true with me to a small extent. Threre are a lot of other reasons too. I am sure you can read more here and on other sites too. Good Luck.

[suchacutie]

For me it's actually quite simple. I had been carrying around this feminine part of me and 5 years ago, with the help of a wonderful wife, Tina suddenly (and do mean suddenly) came to life. We went from "normal" me to me and Tina in under 2 days! Why is Tina still with us? How can anyone not want to understand who they are? After 55 years of not knowing her, it was pretty obvious to us that Tina has always played a part of my life, and we want to know her! It's one heck of an adventure finding out who a part of you has always been, and just what she might be now that we have begun to know her and let her be herself!

Tina!!

[LisaM]

My earliest memories are of wanting to be a girl. I remember going to bed at night and getting down on my knees and praying that I would wake up as a girl.

I don't really know why I felt that way but I did. I also remember that I always wanted long hair like the girls I knew from school and I wanted to play with Barbies or with miniature houses. This was way before puberty when I was 5 to 7.

It felt normal to want to try on female clothes feeling the way I did but I also knew that I was supposed to be a boy.

Guilt and shame really didn't rear its head until puberty when when my body began to react to my dreams and dressing in ways that I was embarrassed and horrified about.

I hope this helps although it is just one of many stories.

[Heisthebride]

I'm a part time CD and have asked myself this question a lot. There are many individual elements: sexuality, escapism, simple joy, trying new things (waxing, manicure) challenge of putting it all together. All of these and more come into play.

For me I have accepted it as a hobby. I just like it. I also like golf but I'd have a hard time explaining why, It can be a very frustrating game. Other peole like to hunt and fish but I don't. I think everyone has there own reasons.

I'm glad to hear from so many accepting GGs.

[audreyinalbany]

I think it's pretty normal for cd impluses to start in a very sexual way. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think most of us crossdressers started out (well, no, I guess I shouldn't say "started out". since I started crossdressing long before I had any inkling about sexuality or orgasms), but, let's say "went through a stage" (usually in the twenties and thirties) where crossdressing was very sexual, where dressing frequently ended in masturbation. But, as time has gone by, it has lost some of the sexual allure and become an activity...I hesitate to say 'hobby,' but maybe that's not a bad way to put it. I realize that for many, it is much more than that, but for me, it is kind of an enjoyable compulsion, and while it still sometimes ends in masturbation, that is no longer the primary focus behind my dressing.

[suzy1]

I think I am one of many here that simply don’t know. It is just a part of us. It’s who we are.
Sorry, not much help am I.

SUZY

[AKAMichelle]

For me it started out with a sexual component in my teens. Most things in my teens was related to sex for that matter, but as I aged that changed. For some it is a lot more related to a woman trapped in a man's body, but that isn't me. The questions you need to figure out pertaining to your boyfriend is where he fits on the spectrum. That will tell you where he is and possibily heading.

[Deborah Jane]

I guess this is the $6,000,000 question

Unfortunately I don't have the answer to it!!

Simply that I dress because I do :)

[Abbey Lane]

Well this is nice that you are doing this to help understand your BF position. Well since i was like 5 years old I just loved the feel of stockings( back then) and then tried them on with corsets and garter belts then that lead to bras. For about 4 years when I was in the military all my cravings lessened. But once I got back home I would wear my moms clothes. Then got married and wore her clothes. Now remarried and I have my wardrobe which is hidden. I haven't dressed in like 2-3 weeks but today took everything out. I wanted to get rid of some stuff. It was hard to do but with 5 boxes of items and like 9 pair of shoes and 9 dresses. Some where it just gets to much to hide any longer. So at least you can deal with his urges. I do it because now it relieves stress and I just feel good. I never want to become a woman just like to dress like one. But only till about 3 months ago after like 45 plus years of dressing I wore make up and wow what a thrill. Can't wait to do it again. But enjoy each others company.

[RADER]

[QUOTE=LisaM;2173096]
It felt normal to want to try on female clothes feeling the way I did but I also knew that I was supposed to be a boy.
[QUOTE]

Much the same for me also; I LOVE women, love my wife deeply, But I
want to feel like what they are. If that makes sense. My wife says I am a
very thought full man, never forgetting her likes and dislikes. I guess I
treat her like a Queen, and I should. But CDing just lets me get a little
closer inside her, trying to feel what she feels everyday.
Yes I love corsets, she does not, and many other things. But that only
leads to enhance the feeling of being like a woman for a short time.
NO I will not stop being a man, nor go for any type of sex change. I just
want to dress-up and feel good. Rader

[AlisonRenee]

My earliest memories are of wanting to be a girl. I remember going to bed at night and getting down on my knees and praying that I would wake up as a girl... I don't really know why I felt that way but I did. I also remember that I... wanted to play with Barbies or with miniature houses. This was way before puberty when I was 5 to 7.

Me too. It began for me at four, finding my sister's swimsuit, putting it on, and even in my college drug-and-alcohol-experimenting years I never had such a rush. Not sexual, more like "oh, so THAT'S who I am". I always preferred playing with the neighborhood girls, their games. I have overly-feminine emotional traits sometimes and that made me extremely fair game for the boys to pick on.

Why do I dress? It's waaayyy beyond any kind of sexual thrill, it's more like finding a moment of personal peace with myself.

[Cheryl James]

I have an indelible memory of a day when I was almost four. I was sent to my neighbor's apartment as she was my babysitter at times when my parents had other obligations. I distinctly remember, this was confirmed by my mother several years later, arriving and taking my clothes off and asking, demanding?, to be allowed to wear some of her daughter's clothes. Apparently, this was my "normal" behavior when I was sent to this lady. At nearly four years old, sex could not have been the motivation. I think that I believed that I was, or should have been, a girl. Those feelings have lasted my whole life no matter how much I have fought them. Sex really isn't the issue for me. It is the feeling that I am free to be the real me for a time.

[Kaz]

I so wish I could explain it... I have spent many years trying to deny it, excuse it, research it, live with it? I have now decided to live with it. It isn't going away and I have wasted so much of my life trying to *sort it out" and dealing with the fallout.

Am I gay... no
Do I love my partner less... no, in fact lots more...
Does it change the way I want my relationship with my partner to be... hmmm, this is the biggy! Do I share Kaz with her?. Read the threads and you will see the debate!

I would like me to be both him and Kaz. In Kaz mode I find it difficult to mow the lawn and fix the plumbing. As a grandfather, I also need to play a senior male role model. I also like my job, which is role model based...

Yeah, it is complex...

My SO is away and I am sat in our dining room as Kaz... I have been dressed like her all day... and it is getting late but I do not want this to stop. I love it!

And tomorrow it will end and I will have to boring conventional again.

I hope there are some insights in here, rather than it just being a rant...

Kaz xx

[Ashley S]

I'm also in the "I do it because I like it" group.

I don't have an explanation any deeper than that. Presently, I don't think I'll ever want to transition, but I'm young, and my feelings are subject to change.

[sissystephanie]

I am a GG and deeply in love with my CDing boyfriend. His CDing has it's roots in sexual arousal and "escape". From what I understand, there's a variety of reasons men cross-dress. In my pursuit to understand this part of him, I have always been curious to know about the other motivators/drives for CDing.
I think it is easy for CDing to be labeled as something to do with sex and sexuality, but it seems much deeper and more complex than that. I would truly appreciate any feedback, ideas and feelings that anyone is willing to share.

First of all, Bless You for being accepting of his CD desires! GG's like you are way too few and far between. I was lucky, I married one and had her for almost 50 years before cancer took her!!

I really don't know about any depth or complexity of my CD'ing. I started out wearing panties when I was about 6 years old, because I like the fit and the feel of them. When I was 9 a doctor recomended that I wear a bra because I had large, for a boy of that age, breasts. Except for my time in the military I have worn a bra ever since then!

I have never wanted to actually be a woman, even if it was foir a sexual reason. I am a man, and happy to be one. I just like to wear woman's clothing!! I still like the fit, feel, and look of most all feminine clothing. I told my late wife before we married, and as I said she accepted me "as is!" We had a great time together, as I was her husband, her lover and father of our children, and also her best girl friend!! We went out many times as two girls. Of course, she always fixed my wig and did my makeup because I was not good at either. Now that she is gone, I still go out dressed but with no wig or makeup. Just a guy in a skirt. And I don't get any comments, unless you count compliments on my outfits!!

I hope you two enjoy each other for a long time!!!:hugs:

[carhill2mn]

Hi, how refreshing that you are trying to learn more about CDing and to try to understand about it. Sadly, many CDs themselves, do not understand and have a terrible time trying to handle it. Therefore, it is easy to understand why others also have a difficult time.

You are right in sensing that CDing is not about sex and sexuality (usually) although that is a very common belief. Sexual orientation is one thing. The "love" of things deemed to be feminine is another. Another whole subject is that of boys who are sure that they were born in the wrong body and need to become girls.

There have been many theories proposed about "why" someone is a "CD". The truth is no one really knows. What seems to be the most reasonable theory at the moment is that our brains are, in some way, "wired" to enjoy/want/need these experiences. There is no "one size fits all" explanation just as there is great variation among CDs as people.

These variations, themselves, cause much of the confusion. The public is often told about "Drag Queens" as they tend to be more sensational thus attract the media's attention. They are often performers and usually do not present the attractive parts of feminity. A great many CDs are trying to emulate the finer qualities of womanhood/femininity.

There are males that dress as women because the experience is sexually stimulating to them. Often this stimulation will lessen or disappear as the CD gets older, has more experience as a CD and/or has a stronger desire to present as a lovely lady.

Again, as you have recognized, this is a very complex phenomenon that is only gradually being understood.

This is a real part of who/what your BF is. Learn, understand and try to have fun with it.

[Michaela42]

Well, to be honest I have always identified more with females than males. I believe you would need a biochemical biology degree and a degree in human development to understand it deeper (and if you know of someone with such a degrees, please send them my way). While it is true that most of my friends growing up were female we did not do 'girly' things. Nearly every one of them were tomboys to a degree. I remember being confused about why when they had the opportunity to wear a pretty dress and fancy shoes they fought it (something that still bugs me about some females).

For me CDing is a bit of a release and all that, but it is also something I really enjoy. Sure, I am not the most passable gal out there, but I still love to try on just about anything clothing wise that was designed or intended for a female.
Hope this rambling helps!

[Pattie O]

I believe CDing is far more complex than the stereotypical idea that it is only sexually based as I felt the need/desire/ to dress at a very young age(4-5 yo) and admittedly I do become aroused during some dressing sessions but often I prefer to just be a women and enjoy all the finer elements of being female eg make up ;hair ;accessories and this helps me relax and feel centred for some reason.:daydreaming::battingeyelashes::)

[Charleen]

Why? Because I must. Since I first walked, or tried to walk, in my mom's high heels at the age of 4, I must. By the time I hit puberty, I fit in my mom's clothes and yes I got aroused.
Oh, I've stopped on occasion, in college, the service, but 55 years after getting into those high heels I'm still at it.
Why? Because I have always felt that I was born with the wrong plumbing.
Why? Bacause woman's clothes feel correct.

[Barbara Dugan]

I really don't know yet it I belive it can be from the simple reason to the more complex..but is so much fun that sometimes make no sense to figure it.:hugs:

[Blake Lively]

What can I say. I get off on wearing lingerie and high heel shoes. Call it a fetish if you will. I especially like the feel of a pair of thigh high stockings on my legs. Top it off with 5 inch heels and there you go.

Blake

[Marcia Blue]

I also starting dressing at the age of 4 or 5. I started with lipstick and makeup. This could not have been a sexual thing at that age. I always have loved the feel of womens clothes and makeup. Later in life the urges all seemed to go with highly stressful times. Now that my wife is in the know, I seem very contented. I do not feel as much guilt with my dressing, even though my wife is tolerant of my hobby. Guilt still haunts me and that I still am working on. This may not explain the why, but that really is the 64K dollar question.

[cdgail]

I've been a cd since I was 13 and frist put on my mon's garterbetl and stockings, wow how wounderful and silky they felt on my legs and what a feeling I got inside of me. Those feelings have not changed and I'm 58 now. I don't know why I feel like I do but I know I have to dress and feel soft and feminine.

My mom's once she got over the shock of seeing me in her lingerie, became my bigest supporter and when my dad was on business trips helped me dress and put on make-up, she even told my wife about me and with her help my wife supports me as a cd.

With the help of my mom and my wife, I will always be a cd and feel feminine and soft when I'm not having to be in the male world.

[Elle1946]

It is my feminine side expressing itself. My wife understands and is OK with it and even helps me shop.

[adrienner99]

When I dress I experience great relief at temporarily not having to "be male."

I simply adore women's fashions. I constantly look at girl's clothingon the streets--moreso than at the girl.

Some of it is fetish-related (in my case, high heels, lipstick and satin dresses).

Just as there are multiple motivations for dressing I believe there are multiple "degrees" of it, and it may help both of you to identify his...Is he content to dress only occasionally? Does he feel he might really be a woman? Does he have a strong urge to pass or to go out in public? How often and how long does he dress? Can he balance both a male and female mode of behavior and be satisfied?

Ultimately I have no idea why I dress, other than I love it and feel I am only my true self when dressed....

[fallen_rayne]

It's different for everyone, most definitely. For me, for example, I CD because of my desire to be female. I have a deep desire to be and live as a total and complete female. I may or may not ever actually reach that point in my life. But i am working toward something that makes me happy. It's my life and my happiness, so I'll do what i want with it. :D

~Jamie~

[txrobinm]

ok my guy persona is long-cultivated, kind of a non-conformist cool jazz guy (I'm a musician). Yet I still have thoughts that I must suppress while playing this role, even as it is very comfortable for me, having done it all these years. These are the femme thoughts, how I'd rather talk relationships with women than sports with men, observe and discuss art, fashion, makeup, etc- things that usually (except maybe for the art) aren't done as manly men. So every 2-3 weeks Robin gets to go out and be girl-like. These are very freeing times as I don't have to self-filter my thoughts between thinking and speaking. I'm lucky that my GF is very accepting, and that I like both sides of me- this is complicated enough without adding hormones or taking other steps to transition. Everyone's path is different, though, but that's mine right now.

[crusadergirl]

I really don't know what drives me to cd because i never felt i should be a girl when i was younger i always did guy stuff. I just know its something i was destined to do in order to grow as a person and become who i am meant to be.

[Lucy_Bella]

The one who loves Nacey,
For me I really can't explain it.. It is just a urge something inside says I need to express myself and will not stop nagging until I do.. Kinda like a splinter if you do not pull it out sooner or later it's going to fester ,hurt and may even pop out on it's own..

[charlotte_sp]

I believe the consensus in the medical community is that there is something called gender identification...basically which gender you think you belong to.
The identification seems to happen during early childhood (5-7ish) and doesn't seem to change afterwards.
Many of us seem to have identified with the opposite gender when we were very young.

As far as the cause(s), that's an open question.
I think it's less likely to be genetic because nothing interesting biologically is happening at those ages.
I think it is probably some combination of social causes that trigger the "wrong" identification, such as relationships with your peers, relationships with siblings, possibly self-esteem, etc.

Unfortunately, it's not a topic that has been studied deeply.
Also, as with any study of human behavior, it's difficult to prove something with certainty.

[Kate Simmons]

CDing is actually driven by deep seated feelings seeking fulfillment. Many just go with the flow and enjoy the "glitter" part, however. It takes real time and effort to explore those feelings, accept them and integrate them into one's overall self.:)

[Susan4]

My earliest memories include ... wishing I was a girl like my aunts and cousins, CDing with my cousins when we were 4-5 ... the feeling has always been there. I don't know why. A chemical wash in my moher's womb? genetics? an unremembered trauma in my very early years?

At puberty, the pink fog came ... and the wish became an urge

As I became BIG and TALL ... the urge became suicidal as I couldn't pass. That was scary.

That phase resulted in psychiatric help ... after a time my gender identity disorder was 'satisfied' by part-time CDing - and feeling good about it. Given my family and work obligations ... the theory was ... better a functional male who is a part-time CDer ... than a dysfunctional female, a broken family and the loss of a high paying, high status job. It mostly worked.

And ... now, in my middle age ... my inhibitions are losing their power. I've started to explore the world ... a little bit of it anyway. I've decided I don't need to pass ... blending is good enough. People fall over themselves to show you how sophisticated they are. I love the 21st century.

But back to the question... why? ... because I can't stop, If I do, the phantasies take over and I can't focus on work, life or family. CDing provides a welcome and happy release ... I love doing it.

Hugs
Susan

[BRANDYJ]

I can't speak for everyone, but I know for me it was a learning experience starting with my first ever orgasm with my mother's full white slip at age 10-11. From there it was experimenting with girls clothes I found in an empty apartment attack attached to our house. It was all and always sexual back then. Remember, this was back in the 50's, so no way to learn anything about crossdressing. I just knew I was the only boy in the world that would ever do this. I'd put on whatever girl clothes I could find, get excited and after the big O, could not get the clothes off fast enough. I felt strange, bad, and odd....that is until the next time.
It was years later that the sexual side of it transformed into something much more. It slowly grew to be a part of me. Is it still sexual? Yes, but I no longer dress just for the sexual thrill. No longer rip the clothes of after the deed. Most of the time there is no 'deed' lol I simply enjoy expressing my feminine side. I have been lucky in having 2 past relationships where I was totally accepted for being the man and CD I am. My present So also accepts, enjoys and participates in my dressing. Part of the reason she was drawn to me to begin with.
I could go on with some things I was exposed to that might also lead me to become who and what I am, but it would take a book!
All I can say is that today, it is a part of me and I am happy.

[kimdl93]

Like so many on this site, my first interest was evident very early in life. I was attracted to women's clothes even as a pre-schooler....and quite honestly...I felt like I was different and quite "wrong" for having those interests. Like most of us, I suppressed that desire till it came out again in my late teens, then suppressed it again for a few years, until my ex wife, on a lark, encouraged me to dress up as part of bedroom play. From then on, its been a part of my life.

[Anneliese]

Stress relief is Number One.

Although all my relationships have been hetero to this point (in my 50s), there hasn't been a single one where the woman wasn't hornier than I was.

When my ex split (after I kicked her out), she literally left with the clothes on her back (her choice). I was left with a ton a clothes previously worn by my beautiful and oversexed ex. I tried on a few things then, and found the experience pretty exciting, but that was it at the time.

Years later, while in an extremely stressful job, I tried it again, and found it amazingly relaxing. I also enjoyed the feeling of being a woman in appearance. When I left that job, I didn't feel the need for years. A couple of months ago my current job reached the stress levels of the previous one, and once again, I sought solace dressing.

This time, I think it's going to be a regular thing. It's just too damned fun.

On another note, I continue to be amazed with all those here who have supportive spouses/girlfriends. It seems it would be extremely risky to be open about CDing, even though that's always the best policy, I suppose. Telling someone early in the dating phase would seem as though it would sabotage the relationship right off the bat most of the time, and those repulsed by it would seem likely to tell their friends/co-workers etc.

[tammygirl79]

I know for me it was pretty simple. Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to be a girl. like one of the other ladies on here said, I too used to pray that I would wake up one morning and be a girl instead of a boy. It wasn't a sexuall thing...at that age you don't know anything about sex. And I have always been heterosexual so that's not the reason either. I started dressing up in womens cloths as a teenager and felt as close to "complete" as I could without actually physicaly being a woman. All I know is that for me it is not a sexual thing...I'm not quite sure what it is. All I know is I feel more comfortable as a woman, and I feel more attractive as a woman. And for me, that is what is more important then knowing the reasons why exactly. :)

[kym]

for me it started back when i was four or five trying on my grandmothers nylons(stockings and pantyhose), when she discovered it she embraced it and helped me. It was always a feeling that I was in the wrong body, I was never into sports back then, now adays its nascar racing and thats it. I was never a rough and tumble type of boy. I dressed on and off through high school and college years,I never had a steady girlfriend through those years for fear that they would discover my "other side". Certainly at one point there was a sexual thrill to it, but that passed in a year or so and I kept on looking pretty. Now when I look in the mirror as a male it just doesn't look right to me(i.e. thats not me that has to be someone else)in female mode its a natural feeling and a natural look to me. Funny thing is I have a wife that is totally accepting and can tell no matter how I'm dressed or presenting whether I'm kym her wife or taylor her husband, according to her the only time my male side(taylor) is present is when I am either in pain from some injury or extremely pissed off(please excuse the language ).

To have a GG like you wanting to learn more about being a crossdresser or transgender to better understand and support their SO is rare and refreshing to me. I encourage you to explore at your own pace that side of him and have fun with it, it doesn't mean he;s gay or "bi" for the most part nor does it mean he loves you any less, its just a part of him that can be wonderful for both of you. It also does not mean that just because you love him and are attracted to hime that you are a lesbian or bi. It does mean that you are with and in love with a very special person.

[dominique]

I've always had a fascanation of womens clothes from an early age. The way they looked and the multitude of fashions. Then I started to experiment with my mother's clothes and I liked it. From then on I was hooked on it. Now I'm completey immersed in the cd ethos. Enjoy going out dressed.

[IloveNancy]

Thank you to everyone that has shared their feelings and experiences! I never dreamed my little question would yield so much insight and sharing.

My boyfriend does not want me to discuss his CDing with any of my friends, which I ABSOLUTELY respect and honor, so this site and forum has given me a tremendous outlet. I have come to realize that CDing is something that can not be changed or repressed. I have chosen to run toward her (Nancy) rather run away. It has been one of the most gratifying choices in my life on many-many levels. Please keep the comments coming. Thank you Ladies!:hugs:

[Jamiegirl1]

I have a very strong desire to dress and look female.It makes me happy`,an escape from my stressful everyday life.I like how I feel in short dresses,high heels,wig,jewelry. I feel pretty, and sexy.I used to masturbate every time I was dressed,now I just enjoy being feminine.I cannot explain why,I don't know.I am almost 52 and the older I get, the more I want to dress.I do however think about being with a man while I'm dressed en femme,I am not interested any other time.I also only want what is between their legs,not attracted to men.I sometimes wish I was a full time woman,but I know that will never happen,too much to lose....

[MargaretJ]

For me, it is as someone said earlier, a hobby. I just like wearing womens clothes, and in the last few years, doing make up and going out. My earliest CD memory is at 4 years old, so it can't be the sexual angle. The easiest explanation I can give, is that as a youngster, I found male clothing to be very dull, all greys and dark colours, where womens clothing was colourful and so varied. I also remember watching a film in the 60's, where a woman is walking down a street in a tight pencil skirt and heels and stockings, and I thought that was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen, and my love of heels and stockings stems from that. Again I would have been about 6 or 7, so it wasn't a sexual thing in that case either.

[danielle.cd]

as a gg you should know the feeling you get when you get all dolled up and look in the mirror and say mmmmhhmmmm i look gooooooddd well for me its the same way even in guy mode if i get all suited up i still think that but when i go enfemm its even better cause u have more options like dresses or skirt necklaces or what makup ,different lipsticks thers not to many options for a guy as opposed to a girl

[Jilmac]

I can only speak for myself but for me, I dress simply because I love it. I love all the pretty clothes that women get to wear. I love the pretty feeling I get when I dress. I love being called Ma'am by those I come in contact with. Whenever I dress, I feel totally like a lady in thoughts, actions, and jestures. Many long years ago there was some sexual arousal, but at this point in my life it is all pure pleasure. I am also able to enjoy my male side when I'm not dressed. I hope this will help you better understand your BFs desire to dress.

[notthereyet]

Who doesn't want to be a female? Male's want to but will not admit it.

[kayegirl]

[QUOTE=Kaz;2173323]I so wish I could explain it... I have spent many years trying to deny it, excuse it, research it, live with it? I have now decided to live with it. It isn't going away and I have wasted so much of my life trying to *sort it out" and dealing with the fallout.

And here's another Yorkshire girl who feels just the same. I started to dress at such a young age that sex or sexuality were words that I hadn't even heard, let alone understood.

[Lexine]

Why I CD is primarily a mix of these different things:
1. To express my femininity in a more visual and aural manner.
2. To break other people's gender expectations by breaking out of the gender role from time to time.
3. To question people's understanding of gender by presenting an androgyne appearance.
4. To show my friends that I can try something completely outside of my comfort zone and still remain the same person that they've come to know and love.
5. To build confidence to face even greater challenges in the outside world.
6. To purposely not attract any potential girlfriends (although this has severely backfired... in a good way :heehee:) or boyfriends (not attracted to guys at all).

[Jonianne]

No, not really, but it is like someone who has a deficiency in some area that causes him/her to crave certain foods. I am male, but I have always had a craving or a need for the feminine as well. Not all the time, but enough to satisfy the need that I have emotionally. I don't identify "as" a female, but it sure feels right for me to identify "with" females.

Trying to explain why, is like trying to explain why I love to listen to classical music. Like classical music, it's wordless music that touches the soul and spirit.

I believe that people, if left alone, will gravitate to where they get their needs met.


It is who we are simple as that......

[NicoleScott]

Some of us - many of us - make up and dress because it's exciting, arousing, and fun, not because of some deep-rooted desire to be ...whatever. We don't want to be a female, just look like one for a brief time. We love the feminine image, and transform ourselves into the woman we want but don't have. Certain aspects of dressing up have special significance, and we are drawn to it, such as a high heels fetish. We can and do those things which bring us temporary excitement, nothing more, nothing less. Yes, there are some who should have been born female, but not all of us.

[FemmeElastique]

For me, it's getting attention from guys, getting hit on, and being treated like a woman by both men and women. When I'm a guy, I don't get that treatment, but as soon as I turn into Rebecca, people treat me much differently. Guys sometimes touch me and flirt with me, women talk to me. It's nice. And it turns me on!
Basically, I live my everyday life as a gay guy but I like to CD in select bars and fetish parties. My mannerisms and physical features are naturally feminine. So it works out :-)

Oh! Another thing. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy. When I'm with a guy as a guy, I like to play the feminine role. It makes it more guaranteed when I CD that I play that role.

[Celeste]

For me,it helps me see deeper inside myself,to areas I've hidden in the past.It opens up a part of me I don't have to fear any more,that in itself is liberating.Last I find it very interesting sharing it and being together with others who accept it.

[Carly D.]

Good question there.. What drives me to cross dress??: I have no clue to be honest. For me it all started when I was a little pup and escalated over the years.. Mostly I thought what women got to wear was so much cooler that what men wear... And by that I mean women can change the shade of their legs by wearing pantyhose or whatever.. Change their height by wearing heels.. Change their complete look by wearing makeup.. I liked high heels from way back before they ever fit my feet.. I was always hoping to get to wear what the girls were wearing back before I knew I wouldn't be allowed to..

[brassieres]

I've wanted to crossdress since I was only 8 years old. I cannot say that it was sexual at first although it evolved into that later on in life.

I dress for stress relief, wanting to identify with women better. Never identified with men nearly as much. Also there is a certain rush or taboo in dressing too. Finally women's clothes by in large are just much softer have a nicer feel on the skin.

[Alex!]

I crossdress for artistic expression. For me, it has nothing to do with gender or fetish.

[Raychel]

When this all started for me, back when I hit puberty, I must admit that is was totally sexual. But now 40 years later, There is no sexual feeling to it at all. Nwt it is a bit of an escape from the pressures of the real world for me. Just time to relax and enjoy the clothes that I prefer.

[kymmieLorain]

Well for me, it started sexual. but then I realized that I have exibited feminine traits for years. Now it is relaxation and stress relief. Nothing is better than after a hard day at work coming home and changing into a comfy skirt or lingerie.

Kymmie

[Veronica Lacey]

HI ILoveNancy...

Nice to read that you and your boyfriend wish to understand where his CD tendencies arise from. Might take some time but I think it's worth the effort :) While I am not one to draw long posts I cannot pinpoint how my dressing desires were born. I believe for the most part it went something like this.

My mother used to hang many of her dresses in the closet of the bedroom I shared with my brother as a child (ages 5-9) and my bed was beside the closet. At night I would reach in and could feel the softness and see these curious garments, so tall and large next to me. When my folks would be arguing - a regular occurrence - I would crawl up inside one of the satiny long dresses hanging there. A child's sense of protection from his mother? Perhaps.

By the time I was a teen we had moved and I had my own room. With puberty and hormones in full swing I developed a healthy appreciation for seeing women in lingerie. It was never seeing nude women per se as I felt in generic terms that if you've seen one naked woman you pretty much know what they look like (the words of a 15 year old.) So I think like many boys and men I just loved to see a woman in such colourful, lacey and soft things as there was much more left to the imagination.

Being a social wallflower as a kid and teen I thought I would never be able to maintain a healthy relationship with a girl so I decided to wear the lingerie myself. The years passed and I became more socially adept yet I was hooked on wearing lingerie and had started to wear the odd bluse and skirt in private. I continued anyway and my collection slowly grew over the years. I eventually met my wife-to-be; I told her after two weeks of dating about my dressing. She generally has accepted it and all is well after 16 years together, 11 of which we have been married.

At age 40 my dressing, while it does have sexual components, I now consider as a hobby. I dress to feel comfort. I dress because I like to wear silks and satins and nylon, because I enjoy wearing the lace and sweet colours as much as I like to see my wife wearing them. Why can I not enjoy the same opportunities to feel at ease wearing such things as she?

This little part is hard to convey very well. I also like to be in control of my own person, my own situation, but not necessarily in control of others. I drive a small car that I feel snug in, nothing loose nor weak. I generally do not wear sandals as they feel loose but prefer shoes that tie so they become one with my feet. Things in order and in check make me feel calm. In dressing I appreciate the "constriction" of a bra, a garter belt, heels that have ankle straps, blouses that button up to the chin and my conservative nature appreciates being fully covered as best I can. I think this feeds my need for control of my personal space.

I have no desire to be a woman (although have wondered a couple of times in my life) and do not try to pass, wearing no make up, wigs, jewellery, polish, etc (okay, I have wondered what shaving my legs might be like and I do tend to wear forms to fill the clothing out accordingly.)

Even though it sounds a bit mixed up I simply enjoy being a heterosexual man who likes to wear lingerie and dresses when I can. Hope that this summary offers some of what you seek.

Good Luck!