Stood Up!

[windycissy]

For all of those who have fantasized about going out on a "date" with a guy, a cautionary tale: for some reason, a lot of the male admirers you meet on Internet places like Craigslist, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid etc talk a good game and profess their love but when it comes to actually meeting a TGirl, they chicken out! I should have known better, but today once again a guy who saw my pictures and sent me over 100 emails flaked out on me. I consoled myself by putting on a nice dress and having "dinner for one" in the hotel restaurant, now after 2 glasses of wine I'm feeling philosophical about it, he doesn't know what he's missing...when will I learn?

[Nicole Erin]

For a lot of guys, wanting to date a TG woman is their dirty little secret.
I know I have talked to a couple guys and when I propose to meet or whatever, they chicken out. They want some kind of "she-male" fantasy date but they certainly don't want anyone to know their shameful lusts.

Some men just suck like that

[pamela_a]

You're fine, it's the guys who never learn. You were probably just too much woman for him anyway. Cheer up and have another glass or two of wine and forget the worthless jerk. :hugs:

[AllieSF]

Cissy,

Sorry to hear about your lost date. Probably worked out for the better for you. As they say, "He probably does not know what he is really missing." I hope it was good wine. Better luck next time.

Hugs ..... Allie

[Rogina B]

Well,he probably got himself overexcited fantasizing of the planned evening that lay ahead. It was over in the shower,so he didn't need to wine and dine you!! For most,I believe it is a "secret" fantasy and nothing more.The internet makes it all that much easier.:D

[Nancy (PA)]

Right at this moment I'm over-excited about having a date, and forget about the dinner and wine. I'm just ready..

[Barbara Dugan]

I think is part of the dating game, I usually expect the same with every date sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong but let me tell being stood up on the second or third date hurts the most...good luck on the next one:hugs:

[Brenda456]

That was wrong of him. Not to mention rude and inconsiderate.

[Miranda09]

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you Cissy. He really didn't know what he was missing out on, but as Barb mentioned, that's all part of the dating game. Many guys can talk a good line but don't have the nerve to follow thru. Don't worry.....you'll meet the right guy who will have the nerve, and you'll have the best time of your life!!! :)

[Karenmarie]

MEN ARE PIGS, RIGHT GIRLS???????

Hugs
Karenmarie

[Barbara Dugan]

MEN ARE PIGS, RIGHT GIRLS???????

Hugs
Karenmarie

Yes they are:doh: but I cant live without them:D

[Miranda09]

MEN ARE PIGS, RIGHT GIRLS???????

Hugs
Karenmarie

Yes, they can be....but they're as human as we are and are just afraid of the unknown or what they don't understand. :)

[5150 Girl]

Men suck! I can't stand them! Which is why I am as I am I recon....

[windycissy]

Thanks girls, my sorority sisters here make me feel better!

[kellgrl66]

Dont let it get you down cissy. We have all had similiar experinces so keep fishing and it will pay off. I do agree that the internet is a hard place for us since most of these guys are just playing out a fantasy. Youre not alone hon. kisses

[minalost]

His loss Cissy!
:hugs:

[sterling12]

Ah, but think about The Time you DIDN'T waste on him! If he's that inconsiderate, and lacking in manners that he couldn't even give you a call; it would have probably worked out badly.

Time to "move on" and find somebody who has their Act together!

And, don't be surprised if you get a bunch of Emails with explanations. Consider it to be "Re-baiting The Hook." Some people get a big kick out of making others jump through The Same Hoops over and over again. Don't you let him do that to you!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kimdl93]

I met my SO on line - back when it was novel. At the time my future wife and I were both surprised by how "normal" the early adopters that we met on line turned out to be. But based on experiences like yours and observations of friends now using these services, it seems that as on line dating has become more commonplace its also attracting more players, fakers and generally creepy people.

But as several have said - that's dating, whether its on-line or in RL. Just keep yourself out there, exercise good judgement, and have fun w/o expectations. Things may just work out.

[FemmeElastique]

Cissy, it friggin sucks! I've had the same experiences with meeting guys on Craigslist; or NOT meeting them! I've been stood up a few times, or when we're about to make solid plans, the emails stop. Or, there are the pic collectors. I hate when guys aren't serious about meeting. I'm in Kansas right now and the guys are kinda the same here. They place so much emphasis on gender. It's just a big fantasy they want to express via email without actually meeting. I can't wait to get back to Houston which I will very soon; not that it's any better there.
I think that every once in a while you will meet someone that's more sincere and wants to meet more than just one time. I think I might have found that!

And one crazy thing about CL is that one of the most consistent guys I met was a guy I met as a guy! Go figure.

[DawnRodgers]

I think that a lot that has to do with it involves where you live too. There are some areas of the country that are defin itely more difficult for us to be with a guy. That said, I fin that meeting guys on-line has been quite easy. I am totally upfront with them as to who I am and what I expect. The sites you use can make a difference too. I find that there are pleanty of guys out there who are looking for gurls like us. You do have to do your homework too though and make sure they are serious. Have never had a back out. Many were very satisfactory but a few were only out for their own satisfaction but that's not bad either depending on what you want from the experience.
Dawn

[FemmeElastique]

I think that a lot that has to do with it involves where you live too. There are some areas of the country that are defin itely more difficult for us to be with a guy. That said, I fin that meeting guys on-line has been quite easy. I am totally upfront with them as to who I am and what I expect. The sites you use can make a difference too. I find that there are pleanty of guys out there who are looking for gurls like us. You do have to do your homework too though and make sure they are serious. Have never had a back out. Many were very satisfactory but a few were only out for their own satisfaction but that's not bad either depending on what you want from the experience.
Dawn

I understand what you're saying. It's like you can't always tell who is serious and who is not. I've been stood up by seemingly serious guys. Sucks.

[maya1love]

Had to respond and give you my empathy for being stood up. Yup, it happens to us all. However, there are also those guys who will e-mail you the day of the date and say that there has been a "family emergency" and they can't meet! Oh, poor them! I've heard this idiotic line so many times that I now ask would-be dates if they are aware of any family members who may need emergency medical treatment the day of our date.

My luck changed however when I met a very nice guy who I met on craigslist, who suited up and showed up for two dates. We are no longer seeing each other much (for no reason really), but I felt like it broke the curse of feeling like I was doing something wrong.

My advice is keep trying and pick wisely. Agree to meet guys to have dinner or a drink only, with no expectation of sex at all. Then see who steps up to the plate.

[windycissy]

My advice is keep trying and pick wisely. Agree to meet guys to have dinner or a drink only, with no expectation of sex at all. Then see who steps up to the plate.

Good advice, usually I insist on a first date in a neutral corner like a Starbucks where we can size each other up, no hard feelings if the chemistry isn't right...for some reason this bozo insisted on taking me out to dinner and said he wanted to make love to me all night and like a fool I believed him, never again!

[tammygirl79]

I'm sorry to hear that, but you are not alone sweetie. I think we have probably all been stood up at one point in time or another. It sucks that he wasted your time like that hun, but if he is the type of guy who would do that, then you are much better off enjoying the night by yourself and having some "you" time! :)

[fallen_rayne]

I live on both sides of the coin, I would gladly take out many of the women i have seen on this site; if they lived in Florida! xD How many people would be willing to take me out? :daydreaming:

I wouldn't worry about it Nicole, your gorgeous and if he can't handle that, then that's his problem. =3

~Jamie~

[windycissy]

Ah, but think about The Time you DIDN'T waste on him! If he's that inconsiderate, and lacking in manners that he couldn't even give you a call; it would have probably worked out badly.

Time to "move on" and find somebody who has their Act together!

And, don't be surprised if you get a bunch of Emails with explanations. Consider it to be "Re-baiting The Hook." Some people get a big kick out of making others jump through The Same Hoops over and over again. Don't you let him do that to you!

Peace and Love, Joanie

You were right Joanie, I got an email from him this morning with an apology, said he was "scared"...I haven't responded, I need a more reliable man in my life!

[FemmeElastique]

You were right Joanie, I got an email from him this morning with an apology, said he was "scared"...I haven't responded, I need a more reliable man in my life!

That sounds about right. You started this thread 5 days ago. They take 3-5 days to respond usually. Sometimes even longer...if they even do it!

[MsJanessa]

Yes they are:doh: but I cant live without them:D

thats because We like bacon==lol

[MsJanessa]

No shows are really common unfortunatly---a lot of guys and even some T-girls fantasize about being with a CD/TG but have no real interest in actually going through with meeting one---I really don't mind if they want to keep it a fantasy but it is really really rude to set up a date and then just not show--or call with some half baked excuse--if you don't want to meet then that's fine just don't waste you time telling Me you do--Ive got a lot of people who actually want to be with Me so I really can't waste My time on some pathetic wannebe

[windycissy]

I'm getting back up on my bicycle week after next, got a few new prospects and this time I'm taking a tip from the airlines: overbooking! Of course I won't let them all show up at the same time but this way I ought to be able to figure out who the wannabees are and weed them out before date night...

[MsJanessa]

It would make for a really interesting evening if two or more showed on the same night---hmmmm

[Kristi Moore]

Any advice on first date locations and how to be safe?

[MsJanessa]

Any advice on first date locations and how to be safe?

If you are comfortable going out dressed in public, offer to meet them in the local gay/TG friendly bar or nightclub---if they refuse because they don't want to be seen in a place like that, drop them like a hot potato---they would be no shows anyway

[windycissy]

Any advice on first date locations and how to be safe?

Actually I've had good luck meeting for coffee at a Starbucks, it's a neutral corner where there's no pressure or expectations and if either one of you doesn't like what he sees, part as friends...it's when he insists on taking you out for dinner and dancing sight unseen that your guard should be up!

[Elsa Larson]

Once I am in the car and moving, I always make a cell phone call to the lady to let her know when to expect me.

I have only dated in guy mode. I dated one tgirl and hope to see her again when our schedules permit.

In this day and age, there is no valid reason to stand anyone up for a date or any kind of pre-arranged meeting.

[windycissy]

Once I am in the car and moving, I always make a cell phone call to the lady to let her know when to expect me.

I have only dated in guy mode. I dated one tgirl and hope to see her again when our schedules permit.

In this day and age, there is no valid reason to stand anyone up for a date or any kind of pre-arranged meeting.

Hmmm...do you have a brother in California?

[Angiemead12]

Sorry to hear about your bad experience, i would rather date a woman than a man!