early signs?

[kimdl93]

The thread on "leg crossing" brought back some memories from my early childhood - age 6 and under. I can remember being teased by my older siblings about certain things...the way I walked or crossed my legs, but especially for being "a house boy" - which I guess referred to staying in the house to do girly things. I know I was very sensitive to teasing and went out of my way to do more traditional boy stuff as I grew as a way of evading the harrassment.

anyone else have similar experiences?

[StaceyJane]

For Kindergarten and first grade I went to a private school where we had uniorms to wear on Wednesdays. The girls wore skirts and I knew I wanted to be a girl and wear the skirt to school.

[Nicole Erin]

yeah sounds familiar enough - I threw and ran like a girl and always got teased about being a homo, even though I was straight.

It is like people could tell long ago.

Kind of pisses me off cause when we TG fulfill that role of the femme side later in life, then people REALLY have a problem with it.

[kimdl93]

yeah sounds familiar enough - I threw and ran like a girl and always got teased about being a homo, even though I was straight.

It is like people could tell long ago.

Kind of pisses me off cause when we TG fulfill that role of the femme side later in life, then people REALLY have a problem with it.

Exactly how I felt...I even got kidded about how I threw a baseball in HS...I still can't do it like a guy!

[AKAMichelle]

Unfortunately I remember being teased some by my younger brother. Luckily I got over it with millions spent in therapy. :D

[AlisonRenee]

The thread on cross dressing brought back some memories from my early childhood - age 6 and under. I can remember being teased by my older siblings about certain things...the way I walked or crossed my legs, but especially for being "a house boy" - which I guess referred to staying in the house to do girly things. I know I was very sensitive to teasing and went out of my way to do more traditional boy stuff as I grew as a way of evading the harrassment.

anyone else have similar experiences?

Oh, yeah. I had the best time playing with the neighborhood girls doing what they liked to do, and I was totally indifferent to sports and most boy stuff. Still am. I threw like a girl and never heard the end of it, which is part of the reason I learned to hate sports. I loved my toy cars, but I tended to personalize them. Most boys got tired of them and would stuff 'em full of firecrackers and blow them up. I felt sorry for the cars.

And the older I got the more I learned to pretend that wasn't how I am. It almost seems like a form of crossdressing in itself, the boy who feels like a girl puts on the boy suit and does his best impression of a boy.

[kimdl93]

.... seems like a form of crossdressing in itself, the boy who feels like a girl puts on the boy suit and does his best impression of a boy.

Would be at least a double-cross dresser???

[Renee_E]

Yeah, me too. I was always told I do this that or the other thing like a girl. I tried real hard to try to be a guy. Went so far as to join the Marine Corps because the build men. Got told I sit on the can like a girl. When I got out I just wanted to be girly me.

[tammygirl79]

Oh yes. I always have gravitated to playing, hanging out with more girls then guys. When I was with my female friends, I would play with their toys. As a matter of fact, I remembered complaining to my mom that girls had all the fun toys, boys toys were more boring. I even recall telling my mom a few times that "I wish I was a girl". On top of it I was never into sports that much, and I was always short for my age and had a higher pitched voice.

[AlisonRenee]

Sure is a pattern here, isn't there?

[kimdl93]

Sure is a pattern here, isn't there?

Yup - seems there is a recurring pattern. At least we know we are not alone!

After years of cognitive therapy, I like to "think" I've gotten over all that childhood stuff, but who knows when a little of the old insecurity may raise its ugly head again.

[mklinden2010]

The thread on cross dressing brought back some memories from my early childhood - age 6 and under. I can remember being teased by my older siblings about certain things...the way I walked or crossed my legs, but especially for being "a house boy" - which I guess referred to staying in the house to do girly things. I know I was very sensitive to teasing and went out of my way to do more traditional boy stuff as I grew as a way of evading the harrassment.

anyone else have similar experiences?



"Teasing" that erodes, among other things, one's sense of gender and sexual role is psychological abuse designed to tear a person down and reshape them to suit the abuser - in one way or another.

It's interesting to me there seems to be a high number of unhappy CDs, TGs, Gays, etc. who are very unhappy with their lot in life but don't seem to realize they were forced into a limited number of choices, picked one, and then found themselves stuck with the path they had gone down.

(Negative) "teasing" is one of those things, that once successful in tearing one down, succeeds even better at further destruction of one's initial nature and outlook. So much so, that the teased often winds up internalizing the messages unkindly delivered and begins repeating them to themselves, thus auto-shaping a person - themselves - that they didn't want to be and, now, blocking themselves from changing their own lives for the better.

Teasing is a weapon of change - changing someone. It is not "a joke." It is a tool.

Yes, you can "tease" someone for positive reasons and to positive ends, but there is "good" teasing and "bad" teasing. Never forget that.

I am who I am - we all are - because of other people... too.

[StevieTV]

I remember being 11 years and going to school with nail polish on. The boy in front of my asked why I was wearing it. That's all I remember of that day.

[kym]

"Teasing" that erodes, among other things, one's sense of gender and sexual role is psychological abuse designed to tear a person down and reshape them to suit the abuser - in one way or another.

It's interesting to me there seems to be a high number of unhappy CDs, TGs, Gays, etc. who are very unhappy with their lot in life but don't seem to realize they were forced into a limited number of choices, picked one, and then found themselves stuck with the path they had gone down.

(Negative) "teasing" is one of those things, that once successful in tearing one down, succeeds even better at further destruction of one's initial nature and outlook. So much so, that the teased often winds up internalizing the messages unkindly delivered and begins repeating them to themselves, thus auto-shaping a person - themselves - that they didn't want to be and, now, blocking themselves from changing their own lives for the better.

Teasing is a weapon of change - changing someone. It is not "a joke." It is a tool.

Yes, you can "tease" someone for positive reasons and to positive ends, but there is "good" teasing and "bad" teasing. Never forget that.

I am who I am - we all are - because of other people... too.

I think that this is way off base for most situations. Teasing did not make me put on my grandmothers nylons or lipstick at age 4. teasing did not occur until middle school many years later when I was told I shake my money maker better than any girl in school, by then I had already made my "choice" and nothing was going to change it due to the hard wiring in my brain, and I tried hard to change it(even joined the army as a scout for five years) But in the end it was never teasing by one or more individuals that led me to being a transgendered individual, it was something from birth that created a feeling or an urge that I enjoy. I'm not trying to flame anyone or sound crass, I'm merely trying to give a counter point.

[kimdl93]

"Teasing" that erodes, among other things, one's sense of gender and sexual role is psychological abuse designed to tear a person down and reshape them to suit the abuser - in one way or another....
I am who I am - we all are - because of other people... too.

Your observations really hit the nail (repeatedly) on the head.

Of course I never thought of it as abuse at the time, but there's no doubt that I remain hypersensitive to teasing... whether ill intended or not...and anger rather quickly when I observe or hear of young people being bullied or tormented by their peers.

[Sallee]

in 3rd grade I tried to make boobs in my t shirt and I still through like a girl

[FemmeElastique]

I was always a fat kid and a big guy. So I think my size protected me from a lot of stuff. I didn't have many problems in school with people picking on me. Nevermind that I still felt feminine and I was gay. I never liked sports. Never took an interest in them. I can count the times on one hand that someone said I threw like a girl. I didn't care! I just did what I had to do in PE when the coach divided us up into team and we had to play. The boys always gave me the super easy positions when we had to play a sport and was told exactly what to do. Some were nice to me. Teasing kinda rarely happened. What I can't count is the number of times when I was in middle school people asked me if I played football. Luckily I had the internet since 1996, right when I entered high school. So I used that to chat with others and learn a lot.
As far as CDing, I never had the urge to do it when I was young. I never wore makeup or tried on any girl clothes or anything like that. I guess I was concentrating more on me being a gay guy than anything else. My CDing didn't start until about 2003 when an ex friend of mine, who was a transsexual and we went to high school together, said that I would look really good as a girl. She took me shopping and we bought a cute outfit and went out to the bar that night. I only wore the outfit once. If she were alive today, I think she'd be very proud of what I've become.
I didn't start consistently CDing until 2007 when I went to that fetish party in Europe. After that was very successful, I decided to incorporate CDing into my life :-)

[Christina Horton]

I never got teased because I am cd. I knew at 4 that I wanted to wear whet the girls did and play with them , but for some reason I never let anyone know. I was not ashamed of it. I just knew not to say anything to anyone. My sister taught me to throw a ball and I throw more like a girl then she. Witch is not much like a girl. But...




Kind of pisses me off cause when we TG fulfill that role of the femme side later in life, then people REALLY have a problem with it.


Would be at least a double-cross dresser???
Then it would be a man pretending to be a women prentending to be a man! Eh.


I'm not sure if that were you live but I find allmost everyone I met and talk to are fine with it. I have gotten 2 small bad (well not bad just rude) comments but that's all. I could be the fact I live in Canada ,and am a Canadian. We are by nature very nice lovelble people. Just ask anyone lol. No I was never teased about my CDing ever. Nowadays no one would ever bug me (at least in drab) about it.

[kimdl93]

Canadians are just so darned nice :)

[Juliemckay]

I must be the exception that proves the rule. I was always one of the best athletes around (played college football, and had a offer to play minor league baseball). I was never teased about athletic ability (lots of other things, but that is the life of a teenager).

[Jannis]

I was different from many of the other posters. I did dress in mother's lingerie and dresses when around 5 or 6. I liked her to put lipstick on me. I played with guys but was always "the mother" in role playng games. About age 10 I played sports and was a very good athlete. Made all star teams, etc. All through high school and early college I was into male activities. Then, about age 20, I started to feel something happening that led me back to CDing. I lost interest in male things and looked forward to having a home and decorating it nice. I learned to cook and wanted a family and "the white picket fence." I have been that way ever since and have burned through 3 marriages, lost everything in divorces and now live as an androgynous person without a lot of outside contacts. I long for a time when I can go full time as a woman, but economics and family pressures keep me in limbo. I love old movies, frilly pillow shams and baking cookies. I know where I want to be and my early memories are still fresh.

[Cait]

I was told on a fairly consistent basis as a kid that I did things in a girlish way, or had a feminine manner. I think some of this was down to growing up in a very close knit family that consisted of me, my mum and my sister, I guess I just developed quite a feminine personality partly from their mannerisms and partly to fit in around them. It never bothered me at all though, as I just took it as a compliment. The way I see it is, people could say far more hurtful things than saying I was feminine.

[Starling]

We have a recent example of a high school star quarterback who had SRS. And some girls are great at sports, but still very feminine. There's no contradiction.

However, I'm more typical of the MTFs here. I don't think I threw like a girl, but I certainly did throw like a very weak boy, and I never had any interest in "building" my male body. My earliest memory of bucking the gender boundary was when I demanded a tea set. I don't remember who took me to the toy store that day, but they finally gave in. I'm sure that's when I began to gain a reputation in the family.

It was never spoken of, though, like every other taboo subject such as pedophilia. (Thank God, I don't think that ran in the family!) In retrospect, I think my father might have been one of us, although perhaps he never acted on it. He was just inexplicably sad much of the time, and drank too much. He also loved wearing men's silk hose with garters (suspenders, for you Commonwealth types) and getting manicures. Of course, those two habits were common among the executive class in the 'Fifties.

But I always wanted to be with the girls, just be with them. Of course, that kind of "male" behavior can make girls uncomfortable and rejecting, so I often felt foolish and ashamed. Most of the time, however, I successfully passed for male. I like to imagine that if I were young in these more enlightened and tolerant times I would express my true gender. Everyone wants to be a hero.

I often wonder what it would be like not to have this gender melodrama going on in my head all my waking hours. The only upside of it I can see, given the emotional and financial toll gender dysphoria exacts, is the constant presence of desire--which is hope in drag. You effing know you're alive!

Pardon me for rambling. I've yet to get my wig on straight.

:daydreaming: Lallie

PS: To paraphrase the old Yiddish aphorism--"If wishes were horses, I'd be Dale Evans."