Everything Is Out In the Public Now

[JoAnne Wheeler]

My Transition is now the talk of the small town where I live (pop 25,000). It seems everyone has heard about me and my transition. Everyone apparently is talking about me behind my back. This girl has become the center of gossip.

I guess it was inevitable. I guess it is the price you pay when you live in a community where everybody knows everybody elses' business. And being in the public eye as much as I have been in the past seems to make what I am doing really "juicy" gossip.

When I am confronted, I just tell people that I am not ashamed of being who I was born to be. And I tell everyone that I am no longer in hiding - I have lived in fear and hiding all my life and I refuse to do that anymore.

My name is JoAnne and that is who I am and will always be - if it bothers you, well, it was nice knowing you.

My real friends are sticking with me - I am amazed at how well I have been accepted.

Have you ever had to face the scrutiney and gossip that I am right now ?

JoAnne Wheeler

Most do not understand, but a lot tell me that they admire my courage.

[Teresa Ann]

Joanna, it's just like the evening news you are the "new" story and as soon as something comes along you will be old news. Your true friends will always be there for you. So I hope you are "old news" soon. Girls like you are still my Heros. Teresa

[betty36]

you go girl, just hang in there you'll be just fine.
BETTY36

[PetiteDuality]

Small town, big hell...

Just be yourself and be happy.

[sandra-leigh]

This girl has become the center of gossip. [...]
My real friends are sticking with me - I am amazed at how well I have been accepted.


JoAnne, any hint yet as to whether you would likely be able to get enough clients to continue your profession? Are enough people admiring your courage to keep you occupied?

[Kelly DeWinter]

My real friends are sticking with me - I am amazed at how well I have been accepted.

.

You are blessed ! Build on those friendships. You will allways have support here.

[boardpuppy]

All I can say is you go girl.......today you have more courage than me. Tomarrow, next week or next year that is only to be seen. Girls like you have stepped up and have counted the cost to be yourself.

Hugs,
Alice

[Teri Jean]

Joanne, I know how you feel. I am also from a smaller town of maybe 40K and was known as a leader in the community. At least that is what I have been told, my work at a state university, union (both locally as well as at the state level) and then the veteran organizations local and district.

Hey did you see Terry has his ears peirced and is wearing a pinky ring? Did Terry get his eyebrows trimmed? Or; are you wearing eye liner and finger nail polish? The week before I announced my transition at work the rumors were flying that I was off to some unknown destination to have a sex change. This last week I was in Chicago for the Be-All conference and the rumors were flying again.

When I started my transitional journey living full time last Oct. I told everyone if you assume shame on you but if you ask politely there will be a straight answer. If you ask a question I am uncomfortable answering I will say so.

I guess what I am bringing forward is there are those who for their own satisfaction will always gossip and start rumors. The thing they don't realize is the more they are wrong the less they become credible to those they talk to. I am glad for you and wish you the best. Be smart and safe. Teri

[JoAnne Wheeler]

The greater "metro" area where I live is closer to 75,000 people, but I am very well known throughout the area because of my law practice and being a very public figure.

So far, the major reaction has been:

" I just can't believe it."

" I don't know why he would do such a thing."

" I just don't understand."

Most people are somewhat shocked to hear.

But as I said, I have accepted who I am. I am no longer ashamed. I am very proud to be a woman. I refuse to ever hid again.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Angel.Marie76]

JoAnne, The city (if you want to call it that) that I live in had a 2006 census count less than 18,000... talk about your small worlds.and I'm sure that mine's not the smallest.

It's not going to get any easier, but certainly friends make every day better.

[Sheila]

JoAnne there is an old saying over here in the UK, todays gossip is tomorrows fish & chip wrappers.

I am pleased to read that you are keeping many of your friends and it really does go to show what many have said for so long, most people are not anti TG, they don't care enough about most things to be anti anything anyway :straightface:

I hope your path remains smooth :)

[Andy66]

Wow, Joanne. I'm impressed by your bravery. Good for you!

[Nicole Erin]

Sometimes a TS woman is the talk of the town.
Face it, people love us, we are small-time celebrities. :D

Sooner or later, people will get bored with it and find someone else to talk about.

[Karen564]

Ummmm, If you think your town is small, you should see my old town where my estate was...I moved, but my girls are still there...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hampden,_Massachusetts (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hampden,_Massachusetts)


And if you think that's small, you should see where I moved to..which has 75% less people, and much older...lol

Gives small town gossip a whole new meaning......:heehee:

[Nicole_P]

Been there- done that! You go girl!! :clap:

Nicole

[boardpuppy]

Hi Girls,
I was just reading all the comments about city sizes and the last census had my city, well town actually under 2000 peeps. I'm sure that includes some dogs and cats in the sticks. I wonder when the gossip will start full scale.

Hugs,
Alice

[betty36]

joAnne
WISH I HAD YOUR COURAGE. HOPE TO SEE YOU IN ATLANTA
BETTY36

[Empress Lainie]

JoAnne, I am not surprised at one comment in particular.
I had a lady who wanted to seriously date me as a man before I transitioned, but I didn't know it. I wondered why after I transitioned she seemed more distant and a little hostile when I was dancing. Then one day after dancing she found me and talked to me, telling me that her daughter had pointed me out to her as looking so much like her late husband and she should go out with me. She said: "Then you turned into a woman!"
"I don't why you would want to do that, why would anyone want to be a woman!"

I have since had some lengthy conversations with her and she has come to realize that I was born female in the wrong body, so accepts me for that.

But really, plain people just have no clue as to WHY we would do that. They don't know that we HAVE TO.

I like your attitude, it is the same mine was - if you don't like it, been nice knowing you..

[betty36]

to all you full figure girls out there, try 65" tall 105lb. nothing in life is easy but what a life .
Betty 36

[tess graham]

Jo Anne,sounds like you are deep into that part of our transitioning that taxes our strength and determination. I live in a neighborhood that has 3 sets of lesbian couples so I am not the only 'talk' of the street. Those who are accepting are very supportive and those who are not, pretty much ignore me as Tess which, I is better than getting beat up or worse. I admire your courage, JoAnne. Wish I was in a position to be more helpful to you. I do pity people who think knowing some bit of my personal business allows them to make judgements about me and how I choose to live my life. I can't help be wonder how empty their lives must be if mine is more interesting than their own.
At least you know you are not alone. Tess

[Kaitlyn Michele]

How's it going Joanne?? Hanging in?:hugs:

THinking of you and wishing you all the best
Kaitlyn

[betty36]

never hide your true feeling . let the world know you are proud

betty 36

[Teresa Ann]

Hi JoAnne I might have to do something illegal so I will have to render your services. Just kidding, but good luck girl With love Teresa Ann

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Being the brunt of jokes and gossip is tough - and it only goes to support

what has been said so many times: "Transitioning is not for the faint of

heart or for the thin-skinned". I am seeing that up close and personal.

"Did you hear that he is having a sex-change ?" "I can't believe it".

"Why would he want to do that ?" "He must be sick in the head". "We

need to pray for him to be healed." "We need to lay hands on him and pray

that he will come to his senses." "How could he do that after all these

years ?" This is what I hear. And I am sure that there are a lot worse

things being said that I have not heard.

But, I will continue to hold my head up high and go on.

JoAnne

[Traci Elizabeth]

Being the brunt of jokes and gossip is tough - and it only goes to support

what has been said so many times: "Transitioning is not for the faint of

heart or for the thin-skinned". I am seeing that up close and personal.

"We need to pray for him to be healed." "We need to lay hands on him and pray that he will come to his senses."
JoAnne


Well let me guess...KENTUCKY! Isn't that part of the Bible Belt? And after all you are really close to Nashville (Lipscomb Univ - Church of Christ), and the Baptist center of the universe!

Surely you did not expect less! Actually, after spending several years there, I am surprised that is all they are saying. You and I both know folks in that area are generally not very understanding or accepting of people who are "Different."

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Well, I just had an aquantance come by to ask me "if it was true what

everybody is saying ?" I told him what I was doing. He told me that he just

could not understand "WHY". He also told me to watch myself as there are

people out there who want to do physical harm to me.

Now isn't that wonderful news ??????

Transitioning is tough and scarry.

JoAnne

[Lorileah]

As you well understand they can say whatever they like, but be aware of what is being said and note it in case you need something to back you up later.

Why would anyone think that causing physical harm would change how you feel and who you are? Sometimes you do have to wonder about mentalities