Plan on going out for my first time in two weeks...need support.

[tammygirl79]

Ok, here's the story. I am 35 and have been crossdressing since I have been a teenager. I never before cared about going out in public, I was satisfied with just being a woman at home. But for the past year now, I have been going crazy. I simply can not feel like a normal, average woman just by staying inside my house. I need, and want to go out and have fun. I am just dieing to go to a bar with some girlfriends, have a few drinks, and have some fun. Just have some real girl time ya know!!!

I finally feel like i can be passable, atleast body wise. The only thing that has stopped me in the past from going out was I had no confidence in my passability when it came to my face & make-up....but I think I am finally starting to get it right.

In two weeks my daughter will be visiting her mother out of town for two and a half weeks. This oppertunity doesn't happen often because my ex rarely sees our daughter....so I don't get much alone time. I want to go out sometime during these two and a half weeks, but I admit, I am nervouse, intimidated, and scared to do it alone. Besides, one of the main reasons that i wanted to go out in public is so I can have a night on the town with some sisters. I am not out of the closet to any of my friends, and i want to keep it that way for now.

So, with that said, if there are any girls here who live in the Tampa Bay area, and would like to go out and have some fun.....while being my support & confidence builder.....let me know. :)

Other then that....any advice anyone can give me about what not to do, or what not to forget to do on my first outing....it would be greatly appreciated! Wish me luck!!!!! :)

[NathalieX66]

My suggestion is:
-join a support group, which will at the very least, point you in the right direction in terms of a social life while en femme. you will meet lots of firiends and contacts that way. Maybe your local Tri-Ess chapter is the best situation in your case.
-find a LGBT establishment or club near you that accepts CD'ers and trans people, and enjoy a drink. Plenty of straight guys who are trans.
-dress up at home & be bored.
-Enjoy going to shopping malls and stores like Dress Barn. They're so accepting, it's sick. I enjoy shopping while en femme.

Passability is not key, though I found out that people seem to appreciate the effort you put in looking good.

[fallen_rayne]

you read my story, i think i got lucky but who knows. my advice:
-be confident.
-stand tall.
-go out with some friends, almost never by yourself. unless in a really public and crowded area. (true in all situations really.)
-be good with make-up. :D
-cross your legs when you sit down.
-play with your hair...a lot.
-flirt.
-when you go to the bathroom, check yourself in the mirror.
-apply make-up as needed.
-be yourself.
-have fun.

Most people are so involved in their own little world that they don't even notice, they may give you a look or in some situations, a second glance! :D But most of the time, they'll pass you by without even a second thought.

[tammygirl79]

Thank you so much for the advice ladies, I greatly appreciate it....I can't possibly begin to describe how excited I am about my first time out! :)

[abigailf]

First, you are a crossdresser, you are proud of who you are, who cares what anyone thinks, passable or not.

Second, don't dress to stand out - be conservative.

Third, wherever you are, act like you belong there.

Forth, expect to see the following types of people;
- those that don't even know you exist and will just walk right by.
- those that see you once and go back to what they were doing without a second thought.
- those that see you and do a double take (either because you are attractive or a crossdresser) it does not matter why.
- those that recognize you as a crossdresser and patronize you (can't stand them)
- and the hecklers. (These are rare and if you are lucky enough to run into them just ignore them and walk away)

Lastly, have fun.

[Sheila]

I am sure if you contact any of the local GLBT groups in the area they will be able to give you some idea to TG friendly bars, clubs & eateries in your area ......... whatever you do decide to do, remember most folks don't give a damn much less a second look, so go shopping, take that drive, watch a movie and have fun :)

[Miranda09]

You sound like me Tammy...sometimes I want to get out so bad I feel like I'm going to burst!!! But, from what I saw in your albums, I think you'll have no problem passing. Just be yourself, remember to act girly, and have fun, but try not to do so alone. It's safer and more fun when in a group!! :)

[Ms Jennifer]

:love:Good luck and tell us all how it goes.There are so many of us who would love to go out too.I think you look good enough.So,Go for it Girl,but please be careful.I agree with the other girls. You should go with others and not alone.:daydreaming:

[msniki48]

My suggestion is:
-join a support group, which will at the very least, point you in the right direction in terms of a social life while en femme. you will meet lots of firiends and contacts that way. Maybe your local Tri-Ess chapter is the best situation in your case.
-find a LGBT establishment or club near you that accepts CD'ers and trans people, and enjoy a drink. Plenty of straight guys who are trans.
-dress up at home & be bored.
-Enjoy going to shopping malls and stores like Dress Barn. They're so accepting, it's sick. I enjoy shopping while en femme.

Passability is not key, though I found out that people seem to appreciate the effort you put in looking good.

Nathalie, is definately on the right track here. If you are not totally confident, then your 1st step should be with those individuals that share your interest. From there you can move in different directions...and there are many girls there to help you along the way.

Good luck hun:hugs:

[Simply_Vanessa]

A CD/trans support group is the absolute best place to try going out in public the first time. If you live in a populated area they will surely have one to test the waters at.

Dress conservatively. Wear sleeves. An empire waist is always a good choice for a crossdresser. Darker colors stand out less than bright colors. Just don't try to attract attention to yourself....until you have optimum confidence, aim to 'blend' not pass. Skinny jeans are easier to pass in than a mini skirt.

If you are seriously going out in 'real' public...you got to have the mannerisms down. Walk with elbows loose, hips loose, head held high, and CONFIDENCE.

confidence is the key to passing...if people question you..if they see you are confident, they will accept you as normal.

confidence above all! get out there and enjoy yourself :hugs:

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Tammy, you've received a lot of great advice so far so I'll just add my :2c:


I never before cared about going out in public, I was satisfied with just being a woman at home. But for the past year now, I have been going crazy. I simply can not feel like a normal, average woman just by staying inside my house.

I hear ya loud and clear. Once the 'call of the wild' takes hold it's just a matter of time. Beware though, once you've conquered your fears and been out there there's no going back, getting out and about is wicked fun.

Enjoy yourself

Tash :)

[mklinden2010]

Support group, for sure.

Even just one other person to show you some of the ropes.

There's "nothing to it," really.

But, the first time can be a bit dizzyfying...

I was actually "out on the town" on my own before I met any groups, so it can be done.

But, with a group is easier, safer, and almost certainly going to be more fun.

Good luck.

[ellenwannabe]

nice idea Tammy and if I were now in Fla. and could get away from the wife long enough I would love to go out shopping with you - I'm sure you'll pass except for your voice and that can be circumvented usually and I also would love to go out with the girls as I have always gone out in public alone - and yes you do have to make the most of your free time when you have kids or an unaccepting wife - best of luck on your outing and be confident and forget your manly mannerisms and enjoy being one of the girls - Ellen

[joannemarie barker]

Aaaaw if I were there I would love to :)

[kimdl93]

Why not plan a makeover - maybe an afternoon at a spa before your night out. The professionals can do your make -up and hair to your maximum advantage. Do that, and along with your great body and an appropriate outfit, you'll feel more comfortable and confident. Have a great night on the town!

[Bobbie Bee]

Go for it Tammy. You have the looks to pull it off and you I'm sure you'll be fine.

[Amber Chen]

I also say: "support group"...look online for a nationwide TG group that may have branches in all major (and some minor) cities. Contact them and find out the meeting times and places. Attending the group will help you build your confidence!
I would also agree with "Simply Vanessa"...dress to "blend" in, and dress appropriately for your age and the location where you will be.

[tammygirl79]

Thank you so much ladies for all your supportive words of inspiration & support. I have contacted a national support group that has a local branch in my area. Outside of going to one of their meetings, i plan on making my first public outing to a local LGBT bar, or the up and coming gay pride event that will be taking place here in a couple of weeks.

I am so excited, and so looking forward to finally going out in public. I am confident that it will feel like a giant weight being lifted off of my shoulders! I will definatly let everyone know how it goes.

Thank you so much everyone for your help so far, i can't possibly express how greatfull I am for all your input!!! This is exactly what I needed, a place like this to be able to talk to others who have allready, or are currently going through the same thing. It's easier to accomplish things when you know you are not alone!!!! :)

[donninacd]

Good for you Tammy! I'd swing by from Orlando that last weekend of June but I have previous plans to go to Pensacola. Have fun and do let us know

[jenifer m.]

hi neighbor!!! myself and six or seven other girls go out almost every other week end.we have nothing but a blast.were never treated badly either.in fact the waitresses fight over who gets our table.all the bars we go to absoulutly love us,and welcome us back time,and time again.just do it! you will not regret it i guarentee it.find another gf to go nwith for moral support.

[donninacd]

Soo... how's it going!?
So Tammy do you want to start or should I? Or maybe we'll need to start a new thread in the out and about section?

[tammygirl79]

So Tammy do you want to start or should I? Or maybe we'll need to start a new thread in the out and about section?
I started a new thread in the "out and about" section telling all about our outing tonight.....make sure you add whatever you want to tell about our night out! :)


hi neighbor!!! myself and six or seven other girls go out almost every other week end.we have nothing but a blast.were never treated badly either.in fact the waitresses fight over who gets our table.all the bars we go to absoulutly love us,and welcome us back time,and time again.just do it! you will not regret it i guarentee it.find another gf to go nwith for moral support.
Thanks Jenifer....I finally did it...went out with Donnina last night. Read my thread in the "Out and About" section for all the details....I will have pics posted in my album soon :)